August 2024

Thursday, August 1, 2024

Today is the anniversary of when I first went to Thailand. And also the anniversary of an alien UFO dream that I had. 

This morning, I swept the sidewalk again. 

Say what you will about the scary looking Grand Cinema screen on Big-screen VR, but the movies of that era displayed sidewalks that were always clean. Maybe that's because the movies were filmed after World War 2when there was lots of rebuilding including making brand new sidewalks. 

I sinned again, if you could call it that. I bought 2 VR apps. I got Astra which is for $13.50, a chance to teleport to 4 places. No walking around, just stand in one place and look. The places are Titan, Europa, Enceladus and the surface of Jupiter itself. Now I had to get this app specifically because of Enceladus and Europa which I did an animated cartoon of at one time or another. 

Astra has some extraneous elements, the precursor story, the trip to the lab to examine elements collected after each trip to a planet or moon. 

I saw on the YouTube comments for the playthrough of Astra, that the same developer has a sister app called Spheres which is just as mind blowing. Seeing VR videos on YouTube doesn't replicate the experience. You have to get the VR app to experience it. 

For the price and user friendliness, meta Quest 3 VR goggles are the best VR goggles in the Universe. You can get the $1,500 VR goggles but you need a $2,000 VR ready gaming computer with Sidequest and Steam. 

I was thinking of getting a VR animation Paper Birds that Edward Norton narrates. Lucy Liu narrates another VR animation. VR animations are very arthouse and in most cases you are not paying for an interactive game but a glorified animated VR drama when there are tons of free drama and animation on YouTube, and meta quest TV and on the meta VR animation app. Anyone who pays for a VR play has more money than brains. The point of the play is to extract the story and with a well narrated story, one doesn't have to see the drama as VR apps are made for people of all sight and hearing levels and abilities. The trick is to watch the YouTube video. Just about all VR animation apps are shown for free on YouTube. You get the visuals but you don't get the immersive experience. Any person who made any VR app video wants to dispense some knowledge, message, advice etc and they would be happy to hear that someone who couldn't afford a VR set up still wanted to go to the YouTube to watch a video of their VR animation app because of its legend. 

The Edward Norton animation is about an artist who is depressed. There is a definite character arc as the artist goes from being depressed to being inspired and believing in life again. 

The News said that another key figure in Hamas has been killed. Mohammed Deif was the Darth Vader to Ismaili Haniyeh's Emperor Palpatine. 

Mohammed Deif's nickname was the cat because he seemingly had nine lives, which have now all run out. 

"My nickname is Whiskers because I'm curious like a cat." will Ferrell as Harry Carey, SNL

And Deif was a nom de guerre which in Arabic means guest because he never stayed more than one night in any given place. 

I saw a YouTube documentary about Mohammed Deif. He was married more than once, a few times. One of his ex wives died in an air strike intended for him. The mother of that ex wife was on camera and she said something memorable. She said, more or less, "I knew that was the kind of life she had gotten into when she married Mohammed Deif so I am not surprised or shocked at her death at all." Usually someone who would otherwise be in the pit of grief and bereavement was seen as very composed considering what happened. 

Well, when you know a friend who was like a walking medical encyclopedia of this issue and that issue, should you really be that surprised if they one day all of a sudden graduate to the majorly phase of life? 

What will the deaths of these two guys mean for the Israeli war? Will it stop the war or bring it to a new phase? It depends on whether you are working for the World War 1 or the World War 2 paradigm. In World War 1, one guy was killed and that started the war. In World War 2, one guy was killed and that ended the war, in Europe, anyways, VE day. VJ day would come three months later. 

So in this case of a possible World War 3, would the death of two guys, Haniyeh Ismaili and Mohammed Deif, escalate the war or end the war? The answer in this case is "Yes!" 

In the YouTube comments section of the movie Kingdom of Heaven, one person wrote, 

"When I watched Kingdom of Heaven when I was young, it meant to me the story of a knight going on a quest. When I was an adult and I watached Kingdom of Heaven, it meant to me how religious wars often happen and are unavoidable. When I was old it meant to me that the actions of individuals are meaningless as empires rise and fall."

Kingdom of Heaven is a movie about Jerusalem and religious wars do rear their ugly head with profound frequency in that region of the World. As for Empires, I'm not going to go into the individual names but at one time or other, Jerusalem was sacked a few times and occupied by one group or another over the centuries. What the heck, Babylonians, Phoenicians, Romans, Saracens aka Islamists, Turks aka the Ottoman Empire, British occupation, American protectorate, now under the auspices or aegis of Amazon, Facebook, Microsoft, and Google. 

The movie Kingdom of Heaven is a retcon of history. 

Disclaimer: I am not an authority. I have no University degree. I met lots of people who perhaps lied about having a Degree. I won't lie. I dropped out of college barely or else not having even completed one semester. 

History taught in one country could be very different than how it would be tsught in a different country. 

The movie shows Europe with cool colors on the color wheel implying that Europe was a backwater and it showed Islamic countries with warm colors implying that Islamic countries were a wonderland of cultural refinement. That they were and are but Europe was undergoing the birth of the renaissance and Europe was also then, culturally, a rocking place to be. 

In 600 AD, most of Europe was under their Western and Eastern Roman Empire incarnation. The original Roman Empire started in 200 BC and ended around 300 AD. 

Western and Eastern RE. The Eastern half was referred to as the Byzantine Empire and included Egypt, parts of North Africa, Israel, Lebanon, Syria, parts of Iran and Iraq. 

In 600 AD a new religion was starting up. Islam. 

Meanwhile on the Eastern front, the Byzantine were fighting the Sasanian Empire in the Byzantine Sasanian war of 602 AD to 628 AD and this war wiped them out financially. I know what that's like. Even the thought of it gives me anxiety. I'm getting anxiety now. 

Anyways this left the Western and Eastern Roman Empire vulnerable to Islamic infiltration and invasion. 

So for the next 400 years the Muslims took over what was formerly the Western and Eastern Roman Empire and enslaving and persecuting Christians, converting whoever they could, killing the rest. 

Christians had been meanwhile steadily reclaiming their former lands and in the year 1084 the Christian Byzantine Empire was under attack from the Seljuk Turks. The Byzantine Emperor Alexios sent out an alarm. Pope Urban the Second raised an army to fight the Turks all the way to Jerusalem which was then under Byzantine control. That's how the Crusades started. 

Reynald de Chatillon and Guy de Lusignon were portrayed as Templars when they weren't. They weren't even sympathetic to the Templars. 

The movie shows Balian the Baron of Ibelin as born in France and the bastard son of Godfrey the former Baron of Ibelin who then becomes King of Jerusalem and marries Sybilla, wife of Reynald de Chatillon after a secret love affair. Wrong. The real story is somewhat weirder as the Balian actually married Maria, who was Sybylla's stepmother. 

Balian was in charge of the. Region of Nablus. His brother Aldwin was the Baron of Ibelin. 

The story shows Balian becoming King when in the very strict echelons of that level of society, no bastard could be a King because the public scrutiny and scandal would have been too great. Actually, Balian was born and raised in Jerusalem as a rich man and not as a poor Blacksmith in France. A Blacksmith who becomes a King. His alias was Kingsmith. 

Anyways as Corey said on Pawn Star's, in 1453, the Byzantine capital Constantinople fell to the Ottoman Empire. 

Which lasted until around World War 1. 

*source: The source of all this is YouTube, where else? 

The message of the movie is especially poignant and relevant today because as often happens, Jerusalem is a town that is in the midst of fighting in a regional war again. 

The dream of Balian of Ibelin was that Jerusalem become a Kingdom of conscience, a Kingdom of Heaven where all faiths can live together. 

Espire VR 2. Be warned. The AR doesn't work at all. My room was deemed to be too small and the room scaling algorithm apparatus on that app is squirelly. What is routine for apps like First Encounter, The Woozles, Snow World and Drop Dead 2 The Cabin seems to be like trying to pull out a walrus tooth using a toothpick. AR in this case for Espire VR 2 would stand for Actual Retardation. 

I even went into the hallway and into a larger open area and the app still thought the room was too small and what was just as bizarre was that AR app scans usually line up parallel to the walls and floor and ceiling. This app seems to insist on scanning the room and then arranging the set up to be exactly 45 degrees against each wall, floor and ceiling. Just insists on that. Someone who dropped out of AR coding school worked on this app. 

This reminds me of the World War 1 airplane movie Flyboys. The technical advisor was a man named Jack Livesey, a convicted felon who hid that from his resume and then faked his resume altogether when he didn't have much if any flying experience. I wonder if that's the kind of thing going on with whoever handled the AR aspect of this app. As for the VR aspect, chef's kiss. Very good. The pacing is better than part 1 from what little I played of it. Not knowing my way around and not knowing the predictable configuration of the opponents, I got struck down early in the game. 

Still reeling from that, I question my own wisdom for purchasing Astra which at the time of this writing, I haven't tried yet. I do that with a lot of things I purchase. Leave it unopened unused for awhile because even the idea of having that gives me overwhelming feelings of anxiety. 

Will the AR apparatus work? Another cheesy British guy did a video about this app and his Rom was the typical British cozy type of room meaning lots of things strewn here and there, the well lived in look. His place was packed to the rafters with all kinds of Star Wars toys, stormetrooper helmets, a DV helmet and even then he was able to get the Astra app up and running. He had to stand on tippy toes next to a drawer that held a mountain of Star Wars paraphernalia so as to get under the teleporter and it still worked. 

So there's hope. 

The other astronomy app such as Skygaze and StarChart has AR and it works. I love the app called Skygaze because it turns my room into a planetarium. Why go all the way to Vancouver and then pay $20 each time to visit a planetarium when I can have a chance to have a planetarium in my apartment room? 

I wonder if those places actually look like that or if it's BS. Either way I win because I am treated to a very artistic presentation for adults and astronomy fans. 

Even thinking of VR animation apps gives me anxiety. The mere thought. I have an anxiety disorder. I'm brain damaged. There's one app called Gloomy Eyes. A review said it's very offsetting, it has a scene of a couple in a car and then zombies show up and eat their brains and it doesn't stop for quite awhile. Unless you're into that. 

All the animation apps together cost about $30 plus tax. There's one about a mystery story that takes place in either Spain or Brazil. Some escape room interaction otherwise its mostly a play. 

The rule that seems to have showed up over the years is that one day free apps will be much better than paid for apps. When video games started, the video games at the arcade looked much better than video games played st home on the Atari 2600, Colecovision, Intellivision, Activision, Sega etc 

It took awhile but GBA games were the start of that. GBA graphics look better than Nintendo 64, let alone the old Nintendo NES. 

The games on Android tablet look a million times better than 80s arcade games especially Need for Speed Most Wanted, Mad Bullets, Michonne, etc

The tablet still wasn't as good as the PlayStation and Game Cube Games which can run up to 60 Gb. The largest game on tablet is Metal Gear Solid Rage of Revenegeance from Nvidia which is a 5 Gb download. 

The VR goggles is me finally getting to experience PlayStation 5 levels of gaming. Asgard's Wrath 2 is a 33 Gb download. Meta Quest goggles is the champagne experience of video game entertainment. Very overwhelming. So overwhelming that I'm not sure that it's legal. Of course it's legal. 

Motion pictures must have been just as overwhelming to the generation of people about a hundred years ago as VR goggles are overwhelming to today's generation. 

I'm still wondering if Astra will work. Scared to find out. I'll do it after I see a sign telling me to go ahead. Anyways, one must have had an app for less than 2 weeks and have used it for less than 2 hours to get a refund. 

Scary or not: Heather, my girlfriend who moved on to the next phase of life, was born on the 22nd and she died on the 22nd. Not in the same month of course. exactly half a year, 6 months after her birth month. There's a zenith nadir thing going on. Cosmic. 

From our perspective, we view death as scary in conjunction with viewing life as sentimental and sacred.  From their elevated perspective, they don't view death as nearly the nightmare fuel train wreck bonkers sh*tshow that we here on this side of life view it as. 

The new movie Deadpool 3 is very profuse with obscenities and offsetting tropes. 

In the movie Brad's Status, Ben Stiller said something like, "My gay friend. The older he gets, the gayer he gets." 

Deadpool is like that. Much to the delight of Disney, of course. The new Deadpool movie is evidence that Disney has changed to more directly appeal to a different target audience that's been following them all along and that's the slackers, the stoners, the pink rockers who leather wristbands with spikes. 

Junigan archetypes. Cowboys and Indians used to be the bread and butter of Hollywood movie mythology. Now it's the multiverse and parallel universes and alternate timelines that's the fodder for the worldwide cottage industry that is Hollywood movies. 

I tried the app Astra. It was kinda all right. Whatever. Are you serious? This app rocks and never stops rocking. 

One gets a care package from fictional parents. Opening it reveals posters and a tape deck and old cassette tapes. Just jam in any old tape at random and that would be like depressing the plunger to start some strange surreal psychedelic intravenous drug trip. 

People have injected £sd in history and probably DMT too. 

Trips to Jupiter and 3 moons of Saturn and Jupiter. The mountains on the moon Europa look very much like that on Earth as the mountain line slopes down to the right. I recognized that right away. 

YouTube videos as usual don't replicate the VR experience. Compared to the YouTube videos, the colors on the VR app appear saturated in a very good way. 

I was worried it wouldn't work. Vilnius, expectations vs reality. 

Someone in a forum said that Espire VR 2 has to be uninstalled and then reinstalled and the AR thing would work well then. I don't know. I think I did that and it still doesn't work. Now this is something all kinds of free VR apps are able to get on top of no problem but Espire VR 2 has a sticker price of $35 not including taxes of which the AR is kaputz. 

The whole VR thing is in its pioneer days. Even I see vast room for improvement. 

Be prepared to be let down with the AR mixed reality of Espire 2 VR.

The AR of Astra runs on all 12 cylinders like a Lamborghini, runs so smooth it purrs. 

I would rate Astra 50 stars out of 10. Sure, only 4 or 5 planets or moons but what do you expect for $12? If they had, say, 33 moons and planets and charged $65, I would pay to get it. The onky thing is a visit to every planet requires you to work work work, collect elements and then examine them in the laboratory and like a dream, there is a short time limit on each moon or planet. Why not do it like visit any given planet or moon at any time, sightsee, stay as long as you like and no work.

The elements collected, each look very extraordinarily beautiful. It is artful work of the highest order and gives a feeling of bliss of almost too good to be true. That is how stunning the elements collected look. 

Phosphorous is found on the moon of Titan. Phosphorous and sugar form the precursor for DNA. Sure, but what about RNA? DNA has RNA. DNA is deoxy-RNA so RNA is implied in DNA. 

Astra blends perfectly with Spheres. Spheres is the perfect sequel. Don't watch Sphere and then watch Astra because that would be the astra backwards way of doing it. It would be like watching Empire Strikes Back and then watching Star Wars A New Hope after that. 

I haven't perused Spheres yet. 

I saw some beautiful ladies at the Sunfest country fair on the News. When I saw them, it was like I was on fire. Dopamine explosion, fireworks, champagne cork going off. I never thought I'd still be able to feel that at my age which is 54. When I was younger, I imagined 54 as past it, over the hill. Women still affect me. That's the primeval trap. That's one side of the coin. The other side of the coin is being on the hook for child support. Hopefully I would still like her as time goes on otherwise, seeing the same lady over and over again and commitment issues being what they are. 

However the initial fire feeling when I see a beautiful lady is there. The ladies on the News st the country fair were just incredible. 

Over the last few decades NASA did in fact send a probe to every planet and moon in the solar system. The images on the Astra app would be based on the photographs probes took on that celestial body. NASA sent thousands of probes into the solar system. Asteroids, planets, moons, you name it, NASA was there. 

Tried Espire 2 VR again. Uninstall and reinstall. Garbage. AR does not work. Do not get as there is a good chance the AR will not work. Curiously, its called Espire 2 stealth Operations. Yeah, right stealth of your money as you expect to get a fair shake in terms of the AR aspect. The app developers are from Australia and in this case regarding Espire 2 VR, to sort of quote Deadpool, it looks like they got some smooth criminals down under. 

Lots of people commented about this in comments and the scammy developers are really gung ho with an answer to everything and making it up as they go along but still the AR on the app does not work. Issue unresolved. 

I could list lots of apps which use AR such as 

1. First Encounter 

2. Mixed Snow Worlds 

3. Drop Dead 2 The Cabin

4. Hand Physics Lab

5. Demeo

6. First Hand 

7. Witchblood VR

8. Astra

They all do AR, no problems at all. Then there's Espire 2 VR. Hiss! Boo! The AR on this app is crap. Caveat emptor. It might work for you though. Usually I've gotten apps with bad reviews about the technical performance and had Ko problems despite the negative reviews. This time the negative reviews are absolutely spot on. 

I saw a VR app called 

On The Morning We Wake To The End of the World. 

This is for anyone who wants to experience movies like The Day After, If You Love This Planet and Trinity And Beyond. 

It's free. So why not? This would be an example of a scary app. This is from the same producers of Notes on Blindness which talks about the proprioceptors that are employed in the life of a blind person.

The producers of Arizona Sunshine made a card battle video game. Sure if you're into that. A battlefield on the ground. You acquire and use cards. As soon as you throw down a card, certain battle characters come to life and the battle proceeds. Sure, whatever. 

Once the novelty wears off, every VR app is pretty mich the same as the next app. Puerile graphics. 

Today I got a sh*t app called Smash VR. It costs $1.33 and cheap graphics, you get weapons and one of them is a lightsaber. Smash a few rooms. Cheap late 80s style graphics. Really awful and motion sickness kicked in about three minutes after I paid the $1. Severe motion sickness. 

Then. I got another app. I wasnt going to try it. First I saw this other zombie shooter AR app. Lots of reviews 97% were 1 star. Just awful. No free trial. 

Then I spied another one. Scrolling down a list of shooter games. 

Crisis Brigade 2. 

Reviews were unlike any I've read. Best ever. I tried the free trial and stopped it and paid and got back in the action. Played it through and return again and again. Etc etc

I tried it. Holy gobsmackers. The graphics are dreamy, immersive and like chocolate skateboards which makes you envision a skateboard made of chocolate and runs just as smooth as if the wheels, trucks and road was also made of an indestructible form of  chocolate that still retains a rubber smooth cloud soft ride. The graphics in this app seem to be made of chocolate with the most graphically detailed painterly visuals. If there was a PlayStation 6, this graphics of this game are that good that it would be one of the games on it. Gorgeous graphics. Ko motokn sickness, smooth move from vantage point to vantage point. The shooting range is the best I've ever seen. It's like a regular shooting range at a gun and rifle range. Bowling alley style, headphones, targets etc. I bought it for $19 including taxes. 

Tonight I listened to a YouTube video from the channel I Talk To Ghosts. The female host Jennifer has the face of an angel. Really. 

I love this lady already. Such a love is somewhat delusional as she lives thousands of miles away. I've seen lots of ladies with a face similar to hers. Lois from the cartoon Family Guy also has a similar face of an angel. 

Jennifer on this YouTube channel is one of the most beautiful ladies I have ever seen. 

I would marry a lady who has a face like this. Who are we kidding? I don't see that I'll ever get married. Like The Proclaimers, I'll have to walk 500 miles for Beebs. To be with Beebs again. Just to have her loving presence next to me that I can see. She would be the Beebs as she was in her 20s. That would be majorly. 

Jennifer on the channel I Talk To Ghosts gave some advice on her video called Funeral Ghost Stories. She does tarot card readings. 

"You worry too much about what people think. Just go for it. Reach for your dreams. You need variety and unconventionalism." That's what made me get Crisis Brigade 2. 

Being an old hand at shooter VR with such luminaries as 

HAX Demo

Drop Dead part 1 and part 2 each a separate DLC

Dead Second

Guns & Stories 

Zombieland

Crisis Brigade 2 is the best I've ever played. Gameplay is very user friendly. Reloading is no problem at all as it auto reloads. No looking for a clip while the zombie or whatever strikes me down. 

One day my addiction to new VR apps will end. I got this in spite of wanting to quit an addiction to new VR apps. This app is so smooth though. Like condensed milk. 

Give the free trial a shot. If you don't get it despite being on the strictest self censure to stop getting VR apps, then it would be surprising. 

Today I even talked to the security guard at the bank where I go to pay off my credit card or else to also check the credit card statement. To quote the movie Barry Lyndon, the amount was frightful. I told the security guard that I am paying off an addiction to VR apps and I am determined to stop my addiction one day. He said that he believes that I will. 

I have yet to try Spheres. I'll give it a try. Of course I'll tell you what I think. 

Spheres is very good. One part asked the participant to push the planets into their orbits. I knew that Uranus and probably Venus went around the sun in the other direction. However this app doesn't register that. They have enough University oomph to generate a mind blowing VR astronomy app but don't know that as it turns out, Uranus and Venus have retrograde orbits. What the heck kind of astronomy app is this?! It lacks the necessary scientific verisimilitude. 

Millie Brown, daughter of Whitney Houston is the narrator for part 1. 

Jessica Chastain narrates part 2. A very beautiful lady. What can anyone say about her? 

Patti Smith narrates part 3. 

One can lean in and look into the atmosphere of the planets! Some of the planets are too far away from the VR boundary and when I tried to look into it, the game snapped off. Next time, draw your own roomscale boundary instead of using the stationary biundary. 

Planets emit sounds from their Van Allen belts. You can hear the sound each planet makes on this app. Otherwise top performing app. 

Very immersive. Not one but a few engines are behind developing this top shelf upper tier app. 

Traveling to any other planet or place in outer space is a waste of time. All other planets are backwaters and not hospitable to life. Even scientists say that the Earth is just barely habitable. All kinds of natural disasters too numerous to list. Inclement weather. The list goes on and on. I suppose they look pretty but they have a desolate look. Are there sea monsters under the oceans of Europe? Scientists of mainstream urban legend culture  have often hinted that there are. 

Friday, August 2, 2024

If I had even $100,000 I could visit England. I wouldn't be richer than one of the rich people there as there are people walking around with millions in the bank account. 

Someone like that could collect anything as long as they're not excessive. Collect skateboards, collect VR apps, collect cannabis vapes and collect experiences with call girls. Then one winds up with at least one venereal disease. That's always something to look forward to. 

Venereal disease comes from the word Venus. Venereal disease, a disease of Venus. 

Men are from Mars, Venereal Diseases are from Venus. 

A few days ago I watched the new movie starring Akwafina called The Final Farewell. It's the story of a family who's grand matriarch is dying of some ghastly wretched disease. But the family decides not to tell her about it to prevent her dying from fear. 

Just about all families withhold some vital tidbit of information and all families are well known for that as all families are dysfunctional because all individuals are dysfunctional. It's an algorithm of dysfunctionality. 

At one point, a lady said, "But you are the losing stock." She has a beautiful Mandarin accent when she speaks English. It sounds elegant. 

Actors are paid to say whatever is written on the script, however the character in that movie is very venal. This applies to all cultures even English speakers. When a person goes to another country and they can't or won't be willing to access a country on a verbal level, they will attempt to compensate for that on a non verbal level. 

A person has a brilliant poetic mind but is otherwise poor. That person is happy. 

Another person doesn't speak the local language of whatever country they are in and what little of the language they do speak, they speak it with a heavy accent but is otherwise wealthy, drives a Mercedes, etc

People from all kinds of cultures can be venal. Venal comes from he word Venus. 

A syllogism:

Major premise - Venus means woman. 

Minor premise - Venal means love of money. 

Conclusion - Women love money. 

There are things I love more than life itself and there are things that I fear more than life itself. Women are completely different when not under the duress of the physics of this dimension. They are a lot better in the dream dimension and in the afterlife dimension.

If I was on the other side of physical life, then I wouldn't have to worry about women nearly as much as I do now. I'm sure female spirits in the afterlife would say, "Don't worry about it. Dont worry about it. You worry too much." 

I often think that things would be simpler for everyone most of all me if I had died some time ago. Then I would have gotten it over with as I simultaneously look forward to the afterlife but I fear the death process most of all, the months, weeks, days leading up to it and all the guaranteed wretched omens ill see along the way as everyone sees certain omens. What a nightmare fuel train wreck. Existence on Earth is a raw deal. 

I eventually want to be in a place where all that, the death process has finally been gotten over with. Not now, I mean whenever. When its my time. 

The addiction is still active but is being curbed. I'm going to allow myself a limit of just three apps a month. One app I'll get next month is Apollo 11. Go along with astronauts as they go on board a space capsule on top of a rocket to the moon with the Apollo 11 astronauts. There is an opening scene where Jfk gives his famous moon shot speech. Then it's ad Luna as the lunar module hovers above the  moon before landing. Then for a few minutes, the viewer is on the moon with the lunar module parked right there on the Sea of Tranquility. 

I once made a cartoon shout astronauts traveling to the moon. 

The cost is $12 but with tax, it's about $13.50 rounded off and it's a cost that is currently prohibitive to me. When does it stop? 

Just two weeks and five days until I get this app and two others. 

Alien Rogue Incursion. I thought it was going to be released in August. It will be released in holiday 2024 which means Christmas? 

I already saw the YouTube video of this. I skipped over a lot of parts that seemed to be slow or repetitive but got the gist of it. Seeing it on YouTube and on the VR goggles is different. 

If I get a windfall to make up for the shortfall, I'll get the app before next cheque day when I can afford to get it. $13.50 wouldn't be thought of as a massive purchase in this day and age. 

Apollo 11 was on July 20, 1969. Bruce Lee died on July 20, 1973. Solomon Grundy. 

Got Apollo 11. Credit cards give 30 days interest free so I'll pay it on cheque day so it's free until then. 

Paul the aggressive panhandler was on the streets today as much as ever. 

I wish him the best and hope he finds his way. 

He's that way under the duress of the physics of this dimension but in the afterlife, I imagine that he would be a spiritual tramp like Joe the Tramp in the movie The Polar Express. He would still have his heavy Oriental accent as much as ever, but he would have a lot to teach about not being a afraid to ask for help. 

A lot of people are afraid to ask for help even when they really need it and some die as a result. Whereas Paul is not afraid to ask for help even when he doesn't really need it. 

Paul looks like he's dying on his feet. Poor guy. A parasitic nature that drives one to aggressive panhandling discourages and is off putting to society. 

His namesake Paul McCartney once said, "It doesn't matter what road you go on, it will take you there." There are an infinite amount of paths to heaven. 

Apollo 11 VR. Thoughts. 

The app was beyond expectations. Even after seeing the entire video of the app on YouTube and after reading the reviews positive and negative I thought enough of the topic to get this app. 

This app would be a tough act to follow. It's that good. 

YouTube videos don't do justice to the scaling. The moon looks incredibly large in the video. In some ways this app is better than Astra. The quality of it and the visuals. 

At one point, the rocket was hovering above the Earth at a height where the entire Mediterranean Sea, Southern Europe, Northern Africa and all the way to Israel. I thought that is the area of the Roman Empire, original and Western and Easter and is the area referred to in the movie Kingdom of Heaven. I wrote something about that area today on this blog and then on the same day I am seeing this. 

In the old days it would take months to cross an area of land that can all be seen at one glance from space out of a window of a space module. 

On board the lunar module with the two gentleman astronauts who were with me reminding me of two Kings standing next to each other wearing white, I was thinking an urbane thought, "It will be awhile before we see any women again. It will be awhile before we get a whiff of Regina even from a distance again."

The next Moon shot will be better because at least one woman is scheduled to be on board. 

I really felt like I was traveling to the moon. The same feeling I get looking out the window when approaching a town I never went to before was the feeling I got looking out of the lunar module landing kn the moon. I would be thinking the same set of thoughts, "Here I am arriving at night to yet another backwater town." The moon is really backwater. Extreme backwater. No infrastructure at all. Not even a 7-11. Wretched. Who would actually want to visit. Yet it was eerily beautiful. It is a thing of nature just like the Earth. 

When I was on the lunar module, I was thinking, here I am in the very heart of late 60s culture and getting a very privileged perspective. It depends on what circle of people you run with. In the 60s there were hippies living a psychedelic lifestyle very close to the Earth, Volkswagen van, bean sprouts patchoulli oil, vegetarianism and Birkenstocks while if you were in the military circle who trained athletically, live a disciplined life, no excessive drug use, you can be in the lunar module. The astronauts who were with me were trained United States military and they knew what they were doing as they pressed this button and that button, flicked this switch and that switch and the audio is actual audio from the lunar landing in 1969. 

Being on the surface of the moon is another stamp I can get in my VR interplanetary passport in my brain, upon what hammer upon what chain beats the anvil of my brain kind of thing in addition to having visited Europe, Enceladus, Jupiter and Titan yesterday. 

The surface of the moon looks very beautiful. The carved white rock surface, there is a royal look about it. I felt like I was there for a few minutes even though the entire show was animated. No way would they show a realistic rocket ship because a rocket ship design is classified and it could potentially be reverse engineered. What. A late 60s rocket? It was basically a glorified Volkswagen beetle, German Operation Paperclip designed rocket ship. 

At the scene where the lunar module disappears quickly receding into the sky as any good UFO would do and the viewer in this case being yours truly is left on the surface, I had the vantage point that Mark Watney would have had when he was stranded on Mars. That spaceship, my ride home is going up so fast, I'll never be able to get on board now. Now I'm stranded here. In the movie Mark Watney said, "I am not going to die here." 

That's the spirit. 

As for the computer on board, it's common knowledge that the CPU on a modern cell phone is hundreds of times as powerful. 

"You came here in that thing? You're braver than I thought." Carrie Fisher, Star Wars

The opening scene was a 70s living room that would remind anyone of visiting their middle class cousins place back in the 70s. So much so that you would expect that at any moment someone wearing bell bottoms would walk in the door with an 8 track player in one hand and a bucket of Kentucky fried chicken in the other waiting to be served on the formica countertop in the kitchen upstairs. And the green industrial pockmarked glass orbs used for holding pens, pencils, small objects. This is setting for the Jfk speech. 

The venerable President said that going to the moon was worth attempting not because it was easy but because it was hard. 

And here I am believing that anything that is too difficult isn't worth doing at all including the living of life. But that's not my call. Is it? 

I love astronomy. There's another app that I'm going to get in this summer of summer. It's the first summer I had in years where I don't have the situational anxiety I had in the last few years since the pandemic. It costs another lordly $13.50. 

The app is called Titans of Space which reminds me of a joke, What do a space plumber and a space walrus have in common? They both like a Titan seal. 

This app is a planetarium space exploration astronomy app and I just love love love that kind of thing. I remember going to the planetarium in Vancouver and the MacMillan Space centre in Vancouver and the blissful feelings I got from being connected to something very wonderful. 

There is a section at the Vancouver Macmillan space centre that shows the hallway of a NASA space shuttle. The floor to ceiling doesn't form an L shape but is curved and semi rounded. Interesting. That might otherwise be connected to a wall where one touches anywhere on the wall and a hole large enough to step though appears and then closes once one has stepped through that wall. Well, I doubt that even the military with technology 40 years in advance has that. But that can totally be recreated in VR. 

Reviews are mixed. I would have liked to see an ap with zero one star reviews but that doesn't exist. So I read all the reviews or as much as I am willing to. You can tell when an app is crap. The pacing and the number of positive vs negative reviews and something in the wording as well, an energy, a vibe. Then watching a YouTube video about it. Trying a free trial. And it has to be something I'd be really interested in feeling that it's indispensable. I love astronomy. 

This seems to be the last astronomy app left that I haven't got including quite a few free ones. Whether it is or not, I'm not going to bother to check. 

I wish I had this VR set up when I was a child and when I was a teenager. 

Titans of Space. Got it. Will give it a go. I'll pay it off later on this month. 

People have told me, "You will be a grandfather one day surrounded with grandchildren." 

I should have said then, "You say that like its a good thing."

I would say now, "That ship has sailed as I am 54 years old so whoever told you that was trolling you." 

If that did come true, would I be a deadbeat dad? I mean come on, I'm on welfare. I guess the advice is to marry a lady with money. 

In the terminology of the credit card world, a deadbeat means someone who pays in full every month before the 30 days grace period has expired. That is a very good thing. 

So being a deadbeat dad. You say that like its a bad thing. It means that father paid off all their credit cards in full before one month has elapsed. 

A credit card company still makes money because merchants are charged a 3% credit card processing fee. Or credit card companies don't care. They offer incentives for merchants to accept their credit card over others and there are enough who don't pay on time every month and pay interest who make it worth their while. That was the old days. 

The new credit card machines use block chains and accept all forms of credit and debit cards as its just a computer program, just an app anyways. 

My compulsion of VR app addiction scares me a little but I am operating within a budget. I am foregoing opportunity costs. If I get an app, I'll skip lunch at a restaurant or seeing a movie or visiting another town that is near here and eating at a restaurant there. 

On some days I don't spend any money at all so as to bring down my daily average. I am confident that I can handle this addiction. 

Anxiety is different when there is a compulsion that one can't stop when it comes to doing something painful such as drinking too much whiskey all the time or being ina caregiving situation being very emotionally invested in the patient but knowing that however much work one does, the situation just isn't getting better. What about compulsion to fretting and getting something that one thoroughly enjoys and is fun like VR apps? The word fretting in the previous sentence was a typo sometimes typos are cosmic. Serendipitous. 

One typo I did awhile ago, if one doesn't know imlerfection then how can they know perfection? I saw that and left it there intentionally recognizing it as a cosmic typo. 

The psychic on YouTube said, you worry too much about what people think of you. Just you live for you. Just get it. Follow your dreams. Seek variety. Seek the unconventional.

With Star Wars Galaxys Edge, weapons can run out of ammunition sometimes leaving one defenseless. A few other VR shooters have unlimited ammo. Drop Dead part 1 has unlimited ammo. 

My only worry is that in the next couple of years, VR apps will appear like mushrooms after a rainstorm. Good thing there are only about 6 paid for astronomy apps. What if in the next year there appears 100 astronomy apps. Do I get them all? Hell no. Wait a few years. Free apps in the future will be way better than paid for apps of today. A lot of apps once paid for will be free or tech will exist where one can download a VR iso from a website and then extract it and use it on their VR goggles for free. 

It would probably take three times the amount of time to download which can be an issue with really big downloads but at least it's free. Premium titles too. Franchise titles, Star Wars, Dr Who, Stranger Things, Jurassic Park, all available for free from pirate websites which is to VR apps what pirate movie sites are to new Hollywood movies. 

Heck, strangely YouTube has been doing that. Or it sensed I purchased a few movies off them and are really generous to me in my recommendations. I've seen Furiosa, Ghostbusters, etc. Quite a few brand new titles. 

Developers want people who can't afford it to try their games and have them comment about it. They would really be happy if the VR app changed their life for the better or took away any sadness. That's why things are lent for free at libraries because the minds and insights of those who can't afford things are just as insightful and sometimes even more than those who are rich. 

When the f will Retronika be released? Come on, hurry up and release it. But app development, the fine finishing artistic touches should never be rushed. 

Saturday, August 3, 2024

It's VR month. It's kind of like Pride month except that it's a lot gayer. 

Tomorrow is the Pride Parade in Van Francisco, I mean Vancouver. 

It would be ironic but a lot of hetero couples have probably first met each other at a Pride parade. 

I have cut back on my budget to make up for the shortfall. VR apps are pricey and I can't wait until Retronika is released. 

Titans of Space. Very good app. Tour not visit planners in the solar system. There are long and short tour options. 

The scaling is not exact. Nowhere near it but a very good approximation. 

If the sun were the size of a dime and it was placed on the end zone of a football field, Pluto would be at the other end of the football field. Something like that, don't quote me on that. Don't fact check it as it would be wrong so it would seem that I have to work on my knowledge of astronomical scales. But I'm not a developer of a astronomy app. 

Very good app and worth the money. Get up close with each planet and there are lots of hidden Easter eggs and extras with each planet. Spin the planet around. Shrink it and hold it up as a very highly beautiful hand held model as with all astronomy apps. 

I only started it. 

I got as far as Saturn. While JB-1407b looks like Saturn on cocaine, Saturn itself looks like Saturn on cocaine! And I knew that if you look at Saturn at a certain angle the rings disappear. All the astronomy VR apps I have without exception have gotten this detail right. I looked for it. The rings of Saturn have about 3 segments separated with gaps and each of these segments have names I forgot. Cassini? Galileo? Kepler? Copernicus? Anyways, the Titans of Space app got this detail right. It's not one solidified conglomerate of rings as you would think, there are sections or segments. I looked for that detail too. 

Sunday, August 4, 2024

Stayed home all day. Didn't go out at all in an effort to save money. I used to go to a restaurant, watch a movie, go to another town. Etc. All that is out the window now. 

I have to make ip for the shortfall. 

Retronika was released today and for some reason I got it for free. It's not on the meta quest monthly free apps list and it has a list price of $27.99. I saw the usual icon of an app which has been purchased, it says Gift $27.99. Which means as far as I know, I own it although I would be willing to pay the & 27.99 plus tax. It would probably be about $33.35 with tax. 

It is a very gorgeous and lovely artistic hand drawn comic illustrated future city and the player is riding a motorcycle. On the first level,  the motorcycle onky goes level. On the second level, one can control the height, verticality of the futuristic flying motorcycle. 

That's as far as I got. Other levels promise guns. I think the battery on my hand controllers were going. I got 4 rechargeable batteries otherwise batteries would cost more than the apps. I got the batteries and recharge three months ago for $40. Yeah. Pricey. But I use the thing for hours on end every day. It's worth the money. 

Monday, August 5, 2024

Today is BC Day. 30 years ago on BC Day was the last time I visited my parents. The visit did not go well. To give you an idea, I walked away thinking, "That rip off family has been a problem to me for long enough. I've had it with that fucking fox family." 

I wish I was in the exquisite physics of the afterlife and with my friend Heather. 

The physics of the afterlife compared to this life isn't just somewhat better as this dimension compared to the after life would be as 720p television would be to 1080p television. The afterlife collared to this dimension is like a 4K OLED television compared to a newspaper. 

I wish I was there but I'm afraid to die. It will a weird and edgy day but it would soon enough be gotten over with. But before that, there's always physical death hanging over your head and this is the worse dimension, the dinension after this one and the one after that, and the one after that etc, in nine of those dimensions do you have to worry about physical death. 

To get into the afterlife, one has to face their death day. 

That one edgy day

Is the price you pay. 

I am best being single. Its not rocket science. Live in a smaller town compared to Vancouver, the selection suffers. Slim pickings. Bigger towns have a better selection on anything including women. 

And then I have to ask, "How much does she have in common with me. Would anything that she does or I do be one thing more we have in common or one thing less. 

I smoke cannabis, she doesn't. 

She owns a car, I don't. 

She owns a dog, I don't. 

She listens to this type of music, I don't. 

I listen to a type of music that she doesn't listen to. 

Age difference. 

Height difference. 

I ride skateboards. She can't. 

I am in VR. She has never even tried VR goggles. 

Do I feel I have to self censor myself when I talk with her? 

I do gymnastics and parkour. She doesn't. 

I dance. She doesn't. 

That's quite a few reasons right there that any such possible relationship if it even exists, as this is all hypothetical, is a non starter. 

Better to be one of the happy single people than to be in a bad relationship. 

Relationships are always based on one person has to be the dominant one. 

Being single, there isn't that problem. 

When a man see a couple, he sees a man holding a leash connected to a collar around the world woman's neck. When a woman sees a couple, she sees the woman holding the leash linked to a collar around the man's neck. 

The reality is that they are at cross purposes with each other and each is holding a leash attached to a collar on each other's neck. And I say that like it's a good thing? No. No I don't. Why would that be a good thing? 

The thing is, if you are ever caught up in a BS weird energy jangle relationship, friendship, whatever, it's best to not extend it. Cut it off right then and there. 

George Carlin once said something like, "Form quick and fast opinions of everyone you meet and stick to them." Usually your intuition is right. Too much struggle, too much debate, too much indecision and equivocation, better to just kill it. 

One set of worries traded for another. Singleness has its usual tawdry existentially disenfranchising worries. Being in a couple situation has a different set of worries, erectile dysfunction or else in two weeks, am I going to be told that I'm on the hook for child support? 

The beauty, the love scenes is just one side of the coin. The other side of the coin is that the trap is sprung and the beauty was the bait. 

Things can often go the other way as dynamics shift and change. Being single, the living couple and the love scenes seem real cool. Then the dynamic shifts, married, meet her grudging parents, in the hook for child support, for some strange reason acquiesced so hooked up with a lady who doesn't speak English. She says, "Go and get some milk and pick up some diapers." in her wretched foreign language and to have that catalyze with your thoughts. Uh, no thanks. See that's when the dynamic has shifted again and something that seemed real cool has turned into something real square. 

A ideal couple situation is that each makes one's burdens in life easier. The reality is that they each simultaneously make their burden in life, burden of life, easier in some ways and much more difficult in others. Some people have the temperament to accept this trade off. While others who are die hard singles, do not have the temperament to handle this trade off and would never even want to attempt to do so. 

On an ad for Real Housewives otherwise I wouldn't have seen this because I wouldn't bother to watch this, a lady said, "I feel betrayed by you."

A good response would have been, "Yeah, sure. You and millions of others. And me and millions of others."

I see insufferable tawdry things or hear them every day in society. These twdry things are based on the dimensional needs and dimensional issues of this dimension. 

Needs and issues such as need to eat, all kinds of needs, fear and hrewt of physical death. 

These dimensional issues are as implies, exclusive to this dimension and are irrelevant in the better dimension. 

For the answers I've come up with. I feel that I deserve an early reprieve. Others who didn't come up with half the answers that I have, they got an early reprieve. 

For the answers I've come up with I feel I deserve a reward. A wish, a reward. I feel that I deserve and have earned my reward being no different than a wish. My wish is for an early reprieve. Life is as useless to me as I am to it. I am not suited for life and I resent being here. For the answers I have come up with, it is beneath me and insufferable to endure the tawdry physics of this dimension and I want an early reprieve. 

There is no one on this Earth rith now who I love as much as I loved Heather and there is no one on Earth now who loves me as much as she does. That's why I want to leave this dimension and get it all over with. Then I'd be in the cat-birds seat. I can't wait until I'm on the other side and I've gotten my physical death over with. Until then life is nightnare fuel. 

God, I would like to get an early reprieve if at all possible. I'd prefer quick and painless but would accept quick and painful just as long as it quick. If I died, there's no one on Earth now whom I would miss. There's no one on Earth who particularly means all that much to me. I'd quit life without a second glance. 

I got Ark & Ade VR today. 

Selling points, cheap $13.50. Tron future world. How many times have I mentioned Tron in the past? Lots. Tron future world Walter Mitty. If it didn't have teleport mode, I wouldn't have gotten it but researching, it says teleport mode is included. 

I want to add that the best most user friendly, best money spent is teleport stationary FPS games. 

Crisis Brigade 2 is the premium best of them. Gorgeous graphics. 

Drop Dead part 1.

Zombie-land. 

Dead Second. 

Guns& Stories

The teleport/stationary mode is the only FPS shooter that I'll pay money for and or not call garbage afterwards. 

Any VR that isn't a teleport but what is called intense smooth motion gives motion sickness j like anything else on Earth. Just awful. Wretched. 

These include games like The Walking Dead Saints and Sinners. Melee games that are smooth non teleport motion is the worst. Then shooter smooth motion. 

All other shooter games are garbage. 

Firing range. 

The best firing range in the VR Universe in my opinion is on Dead Second. Period. Massively major money to win and spend on upgrades. 

The one in Crisis Brigade 2 is clinical and stoic and basic. It's like a regular firing range at either a professional gun shop or at a Police station. Best firing range in terms of overall realism. No points or money for winning. 

Firing range on Drop Dead part 1, not bad. No points, no money. 

Firing range on Zombie-land, not bad. Some money or points. 

The firing range in HAX Demo is sterling premium champagne and this free app is a lot better than some apps I paid for. 

Stationary is the best mode of VR. Stationery spelt with an 'er' like paper is a stationery store for paper, notebooks, pencils etc 

Stationary and automatic teleport when level is over is the best most favorite most loved mode of FPS shooter VR for me. Zombieland and Dead Second and Drop Dead part 1 and Crisis Brigade 2 does this to perfection. 

Any other FPS shooter that doesn't involve stationary and then station to station teleportation for me is pure unadulterated garbage. 

Walking Dead Saints and Sinners part 2, New Orleans hotel stage. Don't put yourselves out on my account. Don't do me any fovors! Just horrible. Motion sickness, like massively motion sickness or what? Holy smokes. It took me half an hour to recover from the motion sickness of half an hour of gameplay. Never again. Consigned to the trashbin of history. Motion sickness. Wretched. Just wretched. 

We Are One has the most gorgeous graphics of any VR game I've seen. It's supposed to be a shooter but it seems to be a game made for children and women. Lots of story, lots of wandering around looking for things, puzzles. This waters down the visceral go to FPS experience as experi nced in the VR game Drop Dead and Crisi Brigade 2 which throws you in the deep fryer so to speak, one is dropped immediately into the action without preamble. Of course you can skip any preamble just pressing the 'B' button. 

Resident Evil 4 looks all right. The price tag is enough to sink a barge. F*cking expensive or what? Apparently option to teleport is there and looks like a top shelf graphics game especially the zombies. But when I saw the puzzles I was immediately turned off. FPS shooter games that include puzzles are gay. I did leave a warning about VR month. 

Sure, all the great shooters like John Dillinger, Jesse James, Billy the Kid were into doing weird art house VR puzzle games during their off time. That's how everybody remembers them. Uh, no. 

Resident Evil 4. Someone on reddit said that it is the usual Resident Evil video game shoehorned into VR. 

Resident Evil. One battles a legion of well illustrated Amish zombies. 

Sure, every time I think of Amish people, I'm thinking of zombies. 

I doubt that Amish people would be into zombies or dressing up as zombies. They don't have electricity so I doubt they'd have watched The Walking Dead. They don't use electricity!

They might have a cell phone for emergencies in situations where they would be thinking, "It's either use the cell phone or die. Make a choice." That cell phone would only have 911 on it. Their cell phones might also have the veterinarian's phone number as there is a saying among the Amish, "The best veterinarians and dentists are the ones that use electricity."

There is a VR game called Undercover. Looks bad. Expensive as anything. Pricey. And the look of the enemies just turned me off. Bad robot faces. Worst I've ever seen. I was window shopping for FPS shooter VR games. 

A VR FPS first person shooter game should specify if it is a stationary teleportation station to station or smooth motion. Smooth motion equals garbage. Teleportation station to station is gold and worth the money. 

If it specifies that, it would more quickly influence a person's final option to purchase. 

Things looked for. 

1. Graphics. Best graphics are Star Wars VR games, Crisis Brigade 2 and Retronika. 

2. World. Cowboy world, Guns and Stories. Zombie Word, Drop Dead part 1, Inner city, Dead Second. Tron Future World, Ark & Ade. 

3. Stationary and/or teleportation station to station vs the much loathed motion sickness inducing smooth motion. 

4. Price. Pricey? Pricey. Expensive or what? 

5. Reload, run out of bullets or infinite ammo? Drop Dead, Guns and Stories, Crisis Brigade, Dead Second has infinite ammo and easy reload. 

These games give you much more than a fair shake. 

It's not called station to station teleportation. It's called a wave shooter, I think. Wave meaning one wave of enemies, do them all in and move on to the next set or wave of opponents. If I find a new station to station teleportation FPS, I'll get it. I'd have to see a YouTube video that demonstrates beyond a shadow of a doubt that it's a station to station teleportation wave shooter FPS. At this point I doubt I'll ever find one ever again. 

1. Drop Dead part 1

2. Zombieland

3. Dead Second

4. Guns & Stories

5. Crisis Brigade 2

These are station to station teleportation FPS VR apps. 

I wouldn't mind finding a Police based one. Miami Vice. Be a Police Officer on a mission as you move from station to station teleporting to shoot down wave after wave of narco trafficker opponents. 

Walking Dead Saints and Sinners part 1 and 2 and Star Wars Galaxys Edge. Guns are terrible, run out of ammo or break down and reloading involves what seems to be some extraneous protracted arcane ritual. Uh, no thanks. I can live without that garbage. 

These games give you much less than a fair shake. 

I tried Ark & Ade. It was worth the money. $13.50 including tax. 

It had teleportation but it was teleportation just like in Elysian and Star Wars Galaxys Edge. Snap teleportation. 

It wasn't teleportation station to station like Drop Dead, Dead Scond, Crisis Brigade which are my all time favorites. Unless I'm 100% sure that it's station to station teleportation, I won't get it and even then. It depends on the graphics. 

Ark & Ade. If you've seen the 1980s Tron and want to live the World of Tron 1982, then this app would be the way to do it. Not exactly but very similar to and has the spirit of 1982 Tron. Even the scene where one experiences deresolution and then quantum teleport into the GRID is experienced in full immersive reality. 

This is not at al like Tron Legacy which is on a different level. So different that while Tron is available on sale on YouTube, Tron Legacy is not as I would have scooped it ip. 

As it is Tron costs $22.99 as does Star Wars A New Hope. 

Newer movies like Dune 2 and The Bikeriders costs $24.99 which is another level on the pricing tier. 

Another level is $14.99 for all other movies. 

Tron 1982 is not worth $22.99 as it's place on the pricing tier offends me and is an insult to my finer financial sensibilities. Because of the primitive low resolution graphics and awful 8 bit graphics influenced world, I mean it's not even 16 bit like Minecraft and the original Doom. It's worth no more than $14.99. 

Why would a low graphics movie that isn't spectacular like Interstellar, Prometheus, The Revenant etc priced at $22.99?

Raiders of the Lost Ark is a much better movie than Tron and Raiders costs $14.99 on YouTube. 

Dead Second has a really annoying sound when one presses down on the it on, a circle depletes itself as one moves to another station. It makes an annoying sound that kind of reminds of me of, well the words that come to mind are Scottish, Irish and Kirk. Those in the VR community would know the sound I'm referring to although you could most likely see it in a YouTube walkthrough video of Dead Second. 

Peaky Blinders has very good graphics and its an entry into a themed world of time and place namely Birmingham in 1920. But watching the YouTube walkthrough video. The game is a protracted odyssey of making one motion sickness inducing move after another from place to place looking for clues. A circumlocutous word salad of a story about agents and politicians and some kind of adventure intrigue that involves fistfights and gunfight. Buts that's who knows when and is a smaller part of a real work work work of a video game. 

Hah. I won't get it. I don't even know the television show. I saw episode 1. It starts off with some Chinese people distressed about something or other. Then Cillian Murphy shows up and he's the main character. And a rabbit hole binge watch of show after show just to get to know some VR game which one is only kinda thinking of getting that looks good but doesn't have the same gameplay set up as Zombieland VR, to give just one example. I don't think it was meant to. Peaky Blinders The King's Ransom is a more intellectual drama set in Europe during a classic old era. 

It's not realistic that I'd complete a game like Peaky Blinders. If you knew where everything is and don't get killed in gunfights and have to respawn, the game could be completed in seven hours as shown in YouTube videos. If not, it would take two months to complete the game. 

I have a few apps like this, Asgards Wrath, Dungeons of Eternity, Star Wars Galaxys Edge, Walking Dead Assassins Creed. 2 month odyssey. Forget it. I might complete it. One of these years. 

If I could travel in a time machine for a week and live in 1920s England would I? I would sure love to but being an experienced person, I know that some things would come up. 

First being a person who lives subjectively rather than objectively and with the expected associated delusions of reference, I would walk on the streets and hear snippets of conversations and think that even if it isn't about me directly, in some cases it has some serendipity, I would see Police drive past me slowly as they would sense that there is something different about me. In my room, I might blurt out whatever in a moment of exuberance, tiredness, letting the guard down, to show off to myself my knowledge and anyone could be listening. Surveillance technology has existed for hundreds of years. Gene Pitney, The night has a thousand eyes. 

And then once in awhile I would get some highly intrusive and unwanted thought and then believe there are people around me who could pick up on that though. I would think of the telepathic Prairie dog that people have seen on magic mushrooms, the telepathic dog in the Don Johnson movie A Boy and his Dog and also the movie Russian Ark, "There are mediums in this Court who can sense your presence." 

That's already going on for anybody now in their own time. But that problem while time traveling? Onky someone with nerves of steel and someone who is a high ranking government agent with Police and military experience could handle these psychological pressures of time traveling. 

Therefore, no, I don't want to travel to 1920s Peaky Blinders London England and to spend a week there. No way. Forget it. 

Even to spend five minutes there. One could look out the window, just casually offhand observe a license plate and see 20 on one car and 24 on the license plate of a car right next to it and think some absurd thought, "They're on to me. Could it be that they expected a person from 2024 to look out the window? And what are the chances those two cars would pass at the moment I decided to look out the window? How would they know I was there?" 

All it takes is one thought like that for a one way ticket to the mental hospital. 

A time travel movie story with such elements would be a very realistic one. Could anyone write a script that has such elements? 

There is one movie, The Lodge. The angry way that little girl took the cap from the woman's hand is one of the cutest things I have ever seen in my life. So angry yet so cute. 

I have to see the movie in its entirety as I haven't yet. ADHD kicks in hard and fast these days. 

I wouldn't mind seeing The French Connection either on YouTube or Tubi in high definition. That movie is gigantic and pivotal. However, not being a spectacular science fiction movie, I wouldn't pay the $14.99 for it as my budget is intensely limited. I only have enough for desert island movies. 

The French Connection is set in the city. Interesting but not as spectacular as science fiction. The movie will give you a nostalgia of New York city in the early 70s even if you never lived then and there. Fernweh and anemoia. 

I hope to be able to see the French Connection for free on YouTube or Tube although it can be seen on a very large nice bourgeois style curved screen television in VR anytime on the free movie streaming sites. 

When I go to the store and see Canada Dry on the soft drinks shelf, I always think of the movie The French Connection. 

Tuesday, August 6, 2024

The new Bad Boys movie is better than the last one and the last one was really good. This movie is next level spiritual. 

In Surrey, a man who ran a convenience store got burned. He was sprayed with some accelerant and then lit on fire. It was probably a weaker. Some robbery and when the store owner confronted the weaker, the tweaker made his escape attempt. 

In the television show Peaky Blinders, the Cillian Murphy character Thomas Shelby has a brother who is intensely shell shocked in World War 1. He thinks people are planning to kill him but he thinks this to another level, more than the ordinary level. 

One day, the shell shocked brother is acting out at a cafe at an outdoor table. The owner confronts him and he stabs the owner killing him. 

The next day, two cafe owners two Italian brothers are at a location next to a canal.  Thomas Shelby has to shoot his brother at the canal in front of the two Italian brothers as witnesses to prevent a gang war. Thomas Murphy explains all of this to his brother. 

He shoots the brother but in a move worthy of Barry Lyndon, the brother didn't die, it was a set up. The leader, Aunt Polly, a very powerful woman who runs Peaky Blinders has a job for the shell shocked brother to do in London. It's a good television show. 

And that's just the first episode. 

There is a lady who seems too sweet and innocent to be working at the roughest bar in town. She actually is an undercover cop who works with the Police sent from London to the pub in Birmingham. 

The story is just as good as the one about the missing coin press at the Continental. A bunch of robbers who were drunk were sent to steal one package of medium value but they made a mistake and stole something else. A very large shipment of guns, bullets, artillery destined for a port overseas. The National government, Scotland yard is intensely interested in this case and sent some very dangerous Police. Thomas Shelby is thinking of selling the guns back to the government using a buffer. Shelby's friend said to him, "You don't know the heap of trouble you'd be bringing down on yourself if you did that." Again, a good show I'll have to binge watch. 

Anyways, either the Police catch the culprit or the Muslims will. If the brother isn't avenge, would there be a gang war? 

I doubt it. The Muslim guy was probably connected to a gang but I don't know about the one who did the burning. Just a small timer. A tweaker. 

I wouldn't be surprised if there was something along the lines of a Muslim gang. That's Sociology 101. Anthropology 101. 

Would the Muslims Salman Rushdie that guy? I doubt it. It was a robbery and there were no religious words spoken. If the guy who did the burning yelled something triggering along religious lines, they would issue a fatwah or a jihad against that guy. 

I think that since this is Canada, the RCMP Police will be the ones who will be handling this incident. No gang war. No Peaky Blinders. 

I don't know if I'll get the Peaky Blinders video game. A lot of people said it was meh. Good graphics but mostly story story story, gunfights few and far in between, Red Matter and the Last Clockmaker levels of confusing escape room crap. 

Francis should be considered second not first. First is gameplay. Is it a station to station teleportation user friendly wave shooter or is it a two month motion sickness odyssey of escape room work work work from start to finish. 

If the gameplay is station to station teleportation first person shooter then the franchise is the whipped cream with a cherry on top and not the other way around. 

Peaky Blinders, Jurassic Park, Doctor Who. All these are franchise based VR apps and the gameplay on these is atrocious. Iron Man didn't look good too. Shooting glowing orbs from the hands at objects at a far distance while up in the air instead of ground level using guns to shoot opponents not that far away. Fail. Uh, no thanks. 

Just watch the shows. Don't get the VR app. An app with lousy gameplay painted over with a franchise based veneer isn't worth the money. Anyone who gets that has more money than brains. 

It might not surprise you to find out that I got Private Property VR. It costs $17 including taxes. 

This game is indeed a station to station teleportation as one is on the roof like Bruce Lee vs Chuck Norris except as a shooter doing the old Lee Harvey Oswald Charles 'Tex' Watson on successive waves of invading zombies. When the zombie uses dynamite and throws it at you, you have to learn to teleport to another roof station. 

The psychic Jennifer on I Talk To Ghosts said to someone she was doing a YouTube reading for, "Your grandmother tells you to go on an adventure." 

For me, VR is going on an adventure. 

There's another mixed reality zombie game, Zombies Noir, I'm thinking if getting that costs $13.50. It has stylish looking zombies invading the room. Shoot them down. 

Won't get it. So many terrible reviews. Scared it might be another Espire 2 VR with the AR just not working at all. Guns look terrible. Saw a YouTube video. Sounds terrible and takes so many shots to kill a zombie. Zombies look puerile. Fail. 

Private Property VR. 

It took awhile. It seemed substandard at first. No laser pointer or aim assistance. The manual loading took a couple of minutes to learn. 

The there is the option for auto loading. 

One can easily switch from weapon to weapon but with no options for power upgrades for weapons. The money that one earns is for new clothing that you never see during the game. This app has a multiplayer option where up to 8 people can join and they are the ones who can see any clothing upgrades you nor has. 

Teleport took me about half an hour to figure out. It is unconventional. One pushes back and down on the left hand joystick. Usually it's pushing ahead on the joystick and rarely if ever behind so thats why. 

Once one gets to know the weapons and the trajectory characteristics, this game smokes like a smokehouse smoker. It rock rocks til you drop and just never ever ever stops. 

It's quite good. Fun. It's better than a lot of the more expensive apps where it's a 2 week motion sickness odyssey of melee weapons that don't always work. Who needs that? 

I only tried two levels. 

I get the usual derealization and feelings of overwhelm with any new VR app. It seems overwhelming and crazy. 

YouTube comment. I can't remember where I saw it. 

"Your profile has been upgraded to spectator."

Well, yeah. If you only go on story and never campaign mode, if you never go on multiplayer only solo player, like yours truly I guess then you are a spectator rather than a player or playa'. 

Wednesday, August 7, 2024

This morning, oh, yesterday I got really scared. I got a bill from my internet cable company. It was $100 more than the $90 I pay every month. That shocked me! But this has happened before. Welfare often has five week months and I don't check my internet bill every month assuming km paying on time. But these 5 week months vs 4 week months has created a one month shortfall. I shouldn't have a full blown spazzy panic attack over $100. I thought they would cut off my internet but they never have. Once during the pandemic when the cable offices were closed altogether, in that year I had a $350 internet bill which I was able to eventually pay. I'm not rich. 

So I made a $50 installment. I'll make another extra $50 installment sometime after to balance the books. 

This morning I swept the area around Tim Hortons. 

Tim Hortons was where I took Beebs for her birthday. Her last birthday. I didn't know it'd be her last birthday. It was stressful times. I should have taken her to a nicer restaurant. 

Oh beautiful lady. I will always love her. 

This morning, I plopped down the largesse for. Peaky Blinders VR and also Zombie Noir. I'm crossing my fingers that Zombie Noir works. It looks pretty good. But there are more reviews that say it doesn't work and 85% of the reviews are 1 or 2 star reviews. Should I get it? But the good reviews say it's really good. 

AR shooters get old fast. Usual VR video games over scene after scene of immersive captivating worlds. With the AR game, it's that one prosaic scene over and over again, whatever the players living spacs is. Gets old fast. 

I'll see YouTube reviews. If it doesn't work, most YouTube reviews would say so. 

Due to the existential anxiety I am going through right now, I will not be purchasing Peaky Blinders VR nor Zombies Noir VR. 

I am worried about the future and would like to skip it altogether. 

How can I get the Peaky Blinders app if I haven't watched all 5 seasons to get an understanding. I see now how watching a movie can inspire someone to get a video game based on that movie and vice versa. 

This is an example of a video game based off of a television show or movie unlike Uncharted which is a movie based off a video game. Super Mario Brothers too. 

So until I watched all 5 seasons and that is just making more work work work for myself. It's either that or just commiserate. 

So I'm watching Peaky Blinders asking myself what have I gotten into? Peaky Blinders isn't that spiritual. Certainly not on the level of Bad Boys Ride or Die. 

It's a show about larceny in general and the criminal underworld of post World War One Birmingham. 

Why watch a show if one has no intention of being a criminal or even learning how to be one? I think it's more of a show about how life is a series of shades of grey. There are no absolutes. Good always wins. And the criminal gangsters acted under a certain code of honor and were in heart good people who protected those they love. 

A lot of the issues brought up in Peaky Blinders, criminal groups, issues were issues of another time in the distant past and it happened a long way away. None of those issues would be relevant in the Americas as PB is set in Europe. 

Oh right. There is a YouTube video about the true story of Peaky Blinders. 

I've watched three episodes of season 1 so far, just to rationalize to myself that I should get a VR video game that sweeps one off their feet into a lucid theme park world of England in the 1920s. Who wouldn't want to experience that? It's escapism. 

As for escapes, what was once an escape becomes a trap be it women or moving to another town or VR apps. 

If I could go to another town and have a better life where money is no object I sure would. 

I'd like to escape this dimension altogether. From what I've heard of the afterlife and from what I've inferred and deduced using a basic knowledge of quantum physics, teleportation is space travel experienced on an objective level etc at any time one is getting in out, feedback, accessing codes, coincidences are code for the last and omens are code from the future as its a quantum field, all is happening simultaneously. 

Therefore there is a holographic dimension under a different set of physics. The subjective experience that is linear time is directly tied into the physics of this dimension. Or lack thereof. 

That dimension has the more real set of physics that we in this dimension lack. 

If I could go there, I would. The Police captain said to Martin Lawrence in Bad Boy's 3, "It's not your time." when Martin Lawrence's character had an NDE. 

That could happen in a nightclub if one does cocaine that is cut with too much lidocaine. 

But Martin Lawrence is an undercover cop in the movie. Police wouldn't do any drugs in a nightclub. It's unclear what he got an NDE from. 

As for Zombie Noir, it's a Halloween thing. Along with the fear that I'll purchase it, install it and it won't work. I'll tell you how it goes. But since I'm feeling the anxiety, I won't get it until a few weeks later in the autumn. I hope it works. But it looks kinda anemic and the age group for this starts at 5 years old. If there could be a fat kid somewhere in Southeast Asia who smoked tobacco there has to be 5 year olds who are starting their first adventures in VR FPS shooter land. 

Anemic. The gun makes a pew pew pew sound and from the looks of the YouTube video, it takes about ten bullets to take down one zombie. 

The News talked about Christmas Creep and Summer'ween. This is when big box stores stock Christmas and Halloween items in the summer because there is actually a market for that year round. Who doesn't yearn for deep winter time nostalgia even in the summer which is Christmas Creep. And who doesn't yearn for autumn nostalgia even in the summer? 

VR is empirically more of a Halloween theme park than it Is a Christmas theme park although with VR in general, it's Christmas every day. 

Zombie FPS shooters especially the graveyard levels is Halloween on steroids. The Walking Dead experience? Why experience it vicariously on a 2D screen when you can live out any Walking Dead experience fantasies with VR? 

Walking Dead is a franchise and the gameplay of the video games attached to that franchise are champagne good. Walking through the abandoned New Orleans hotel in WD S&S part 2 Retribution was the scariest experience I ever had in video games. I never did find my way out of that hotel and I'm not sure that I even found the macguffin gew gaw I was supposed to look for. I got tired and then was struck down which normal for the Walking Dead universe and it is a better way to save progress than quitting early. That way one resumes at that checkpoint and not at a one before if one had otherwise decided to quit early. 

Any The Walking Dead VR can go up a notch and once a player gets taken down, they return in VR as a zombie trying to take down humans potentially acquiring points and getting some accolade from Meta Quest Achievements: The Walking Dead: Soylent Green, Take Down A Human Survivor As A Zombie. 

Meta Quest Achievements: The Walking Dead: Tue the Tables: Take Down An Entire Group of Survivors As A Zombie. 

The game wouldn't be decent if it didn't have a manditory ending where once a person turns into a zombie VR POV unit, they have to be taken down. It's more merciful that way. That provides the necessary closure. 

In Crisis Brigade 2, I acquired through earning money on missions an Uzi. 

"Uzi 9 millimeter." The Terminator

And I got a very large Colt looking gun that reminded me of another movie line. 

"This is a 45  Magnum. It's got the power to blow your head clean off. Do you feel lucky punk?" Dirty Harry 

The large handgun packs quite a bit of punch. Loud. One shot, one kill. 

Unlike Zombie Noir which is more like ten shots one kill. Hiss! Boo! Hiss! 

In the VR video game Drop Dead, one gets quite heavy duty hardware and it seems to fall out of the sky that one can grab. Unlike other VR video games with an endless motion sickness walkaround, difficult to find weapons, finite ammo. In terms of gameplay, not graphics, these apps fail in every way. Get sucked in by the good graphics only to encounter pain in the ass gameplay. That's my favorite. Everybody knows that. 

Whereas Drop Dead VR has station to station teleportation, easy to find weapons and infinite ammo. It wins in every way. 

Drop Dead VR part 2 has a segment I want to get to the end of. First the zombie attack on the house. Then I make it out of the house and have to teleport, not station to station, find your way around teleportation which is the middle ground between motion sickness and station to station teleportation. 

Once I discovered station to station teleportation FPS VR, there was no going back for me. These are the most cherished and much beloved VR apps of them all. All other ones are meh. They are what they are. 

The bad reviews on meta quest scared me. I won't get Zombies Noir. So many one star reviews so few 5 star reviews. Usually a really good app has as at least 50% 5 star reviews. 

I wish I was in the afterlife having gotten the physical death process over with. This dimension is the crap. Always with the fear of phsyical death hanging over my head like the Sword of Damocles. I can't wait to be in the next phase of life where I won't have to worry about that. Then I can be more of my true free self. 

For the answers and for my ACCOMPLISHMENTS I feel that I deserve an early reprieve. For doing something good I would expect to get a reward. A reward often comes in the forms of a wish which is a forum of reward. My wish is to get an early reprieve and to experience the exquisite and much less dysfunctional and delinquent physics of the next phase of life. I just can't wait to get this over with. 

I resent the forces of life sometimes. 

Life often sets me up in these weird set ups where I do something and then get nothing in return or else I give out a certain kind of energy only to get another and worse energy in return. That's why I am sure that I want to just give up on life. This is a certainty I can take to God. I've come ip with certain answers to life that others have not. I need to make the case to God that I deserve an early reprieve for that in the firm of dying painlessly in my sleep as soon as possible. But God doesn't listen to my arguments to advance the case of me deserving an early reprieve. This heavy meat sack of a body is full of aches and pains. I yearn for the painless state of spirit again as I have experienced it before. I think I died at least twice and comong back was like as if every never that I had in my body was slid quickly one inch along some very fine grain sandpaper. And I felt little muscle aches and pains so subtle that I want aware I had them before my near death experience. I saw the fuschia sky with the soft pink white clouds. Do you understand?!!!! 

I need to be there again. There are some things I love more than life itself and there are some things I hate more than life itself. Those are arguments to advance my case of wanting an early reprieve. 

Others got an early reprieve. Why didn't I? I envy the dead. 

Feeling scared of the future of my life in this dimension and resentful that I have to live it and not be able to skip it altogether as far as I can see. 

The words my future are an oxymoron. I don't see that I have any kind of future to speak of. That's why I often wonder about the possibility of cutting out the middleman and getting an early reprieve in the form of dying in my sleep. I see and feel certain things, and I am disappointed knowing that I'm awake again and that I didn't get my reprieve. One day I'll go to sleep and never see and feel those certain things. Ever again. That day is coming. 

Peaky Blinders. The true story. 

There was no Tom Shelby. 

Peaky Blinders is set in the 1920s when the historical gang had their height in the 1890s aka the Gay Nineties when the word gay actually meant happy. To offset something historically seems to be no big deal, it would be like saying that World War 2 ended in 1975 around when Saturday Night Fever was released. 

The gang may or may not have had actual razor blades in their caps. Historians dispute that. I'm saying they probably did because I wouldn't put it past 1800s hoodlums with women the height of state of the art home entertainment was reading a newspaper next to a candle with not even a radio to be doing whatever to stave the sheer boredom of a wretched existence. 

Peaky Blinders. Peaky is the cap, peaked cap. Blinders meant someone who dressed really well. They dressed so well it was almost blinding. 

There were all kinds of gangs with all kinds of names. If one sriludied criminology they would find that in history throughout all the countries in the world, there were so many names for so many gangs that if you open a dictionary at random and put your finger on any word on any page of that dictionary, chances are it was once used for the name of a gang. The belt strappers, the steel toes etc. References to the clothing they uniquely used in their methods. They may or may not be names of actual gangs. Neither answer would surprise me. 

That was about it. Someone in YouTube comments said they were mostly Kevin Hart sized guys beating each other up. 

All this just to rationalize me having purchased a $28 VR app. 

People used to collect board games and play them as well. There are hundreds and hundreds and some based on movie franchises. The wondrous escapist vision of the board, the cards, the different shaped miniature plastic planchettes, each would have been as wondrous as a VR app to someone of that time. 

People in that time went further in their mind reading books than people do today watching 4K movies. 

Peaky Blinders. The true story. Helen McRory. The lady who portrayed Aunt Polly died a few years ago in real life of cancer. This dimension is so wretched. People go through physical death often under the most painful and wretched circumstances. You don't have that in the next phase of life after this one and that's why I want to get there. 

Actually, the phase of life after this one will be intensely and inextricably and profoundly linked with this life. One would think so given the dimensional proximity as neighbours. 

In the next phase of life one has to time travel and use ways to subtly influence minds as they continue any unfinished business that has to do with the forces of their life, every bit of it. Travel to the past to see even the grandparents lives of not onky you but also of people who majarly influenced your life on Earth. It can, not that it will get so protracted and micromanaged. 

So actually what I'm waiting for is to get to the phase of life that is after the next phase of life. Basically two phases of life removed from and in advance of this one. Because that phase of life will have way less to do with this phase of life. It's is what in the movie Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 referred to as going beyond. 

Harry Potter was struck with a zap from Voldemort wand and he had a near death experience. He met Dumbledore at King's Cross train station and Dumbledore said that if Harry Potter took the train there would be no coming back as those on the train were going beyond, beyond. Beyond the phase of life after the next phase of life. 

"Do not pity the dead. Pity the living. Most of all pity those who have not found love." Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 

There are infinite after phases as well. After is a word tied to the Euclidean geometry that is so indispensable in this dimension. 

I don't know if they'd look at it that way as in the afterlife as they operate with the geometry behind the geometry behind the geometry. For them, Euclidean geometry is dispensable. Of course Euclidean geometry is dispensable if teleportation is involved and tesseracts and toroids and the ourobouros, or the snake that eats itself. 

Mandela Effect. Berenstein, Berenstain bears. 

Are they saying that the Berenstein Bears never happened? If they can do that, they are demonstrating their power. If they can do that, they can ret con major narratives regarding political history. 

That's a corollary of the wretched physics of this dimension. 

There isn't that BS in the next dimension. In the afterlife, you get the real version of history that the world has suppressed because let's face it, this dimension is a raw deal. 

It's a developmental dimension for life in succeeding dimensions but it's defective and dysfunctional and I can't wait until this is all over with for me. 

That's why I wish I was there. I fear death. I just wish I was magically at the point where I was already there having gotten it over with. 

The thing is, the spirits in the living today are the same spirits that one will encounter in the afterlife one day, each form of spirit whether a living spirit or an afterlife spirit is seen in the spirit world as equally majorly and highly sentimental and equally precious and valuable. If one committed suicide, they would create a ripple of hurt. Even if someone didn't know that person, if the News said someone jumped off abridge and committed suicide, that news would create a pain in the hearts of many. This pain would create an interdimensional ripple effect even into the afterlife. 

Spirits know that humans while on Earth tend to vastly underestimate how much they are loved and how important their mission in life is. They greatly underestimate their effect on others. 

Thursday, August 9, 1024

Disaster. Tonight I dropped one of my VR paddles in water. The right hand side one. It worked for awhile and then glitches. I think there's a chance it might not work again. I'll have to get a replacement controller somehow. 

Internet forums said there's a good chance it might not work again. This is a major disaster as I spend hours a day on VR. 

I wonder if it will work fully ever again. Is this the end of my days on VR? 

I put the controller in a bag of rice. Hopefully this works. 

To say that I'm worried again is the understatement of the year. 

There was a smoke bomb that went off in a restaurant in Chinatown in Victoria BC. Was it the Peaky Blinders? Who knows. 

This morning, I retried the right VR controller. It worked. I'm still scared after yesterday. Scared that it will conk out all of a sudden. 

I looked for replacement VR controllers. Not sold. The only things sold are vinyl covers and straps. 

I put the VR controller in a bag of rice and left it there for hours. 

Even if you use a battery and it still glitches because water is still there, that's not a permanent thing. Once it completely dries out it will work again. 

In the 80s I worried when I dropped my Sony Walkman that had a radio and played cassette tapes. Then I found out that it has shckproof technology that makes not only anticipated that, they did tests where they dropped it a few times and it still works. 

Ever since the Apple iPhone 1, and even before, water resistant technology has existed. I accidentally put my Swatch watch in the laundry twice with liquid detergent. It still works which should be decisive for anyone thinking about getting a Swatch watch. 

To quote the review for Apollo 11 VR, "If you're thinking about it, do it." 

I think that whoever worked on the VR controllers and the electric skateboard anticipated that once in awhile, there would be that accisental drop in a sink or bathtub full of water in the case of the VR controller and an occasional quick run across an occasional deep puddle. 

My VR controller works. 

I've had problems and glitches with electronic technology before and often I would watch a YouTube video where a British guy or a guy frkm Africa or India and yesterday I watched a video that an Easter European guy made about technology glitches being repaired. The thing all these videos have in common is these people have thick foreign accents or else a thick British accent. And these guys are all magical. After watching these videos, my electronic technology glitch resolved itself. 

I don't know about Zombie Noir. Other apps. Click on to reviews and it's one 5 star review after another. "I've been on VR for years and completed this and this is still my go to app years later." "If you're thinking about it, do it." The wording. 

The with Zombie Noir it's one 1 star review after another. A couple 5 star Rd views, one which said, "These reviews are garbage. This app is fun." or words to that effect. 

I need to see a sign that I will get it and it will work. What if the sign is I see the word Noir. It can be subtle like if I were to see the words 'no irritation'. There no in the word no and ir are the first two letters of the word irritation. Put them together and that's the word noir. I saw the words Big Bar this morning. The word big sounds like an abbreviation of the word zombie and bar kinda rhymes with noir. That's reaching. 

"That's quite a stretch." as Colin Firth once said. 

Big Bar. The Big Bar River in British Columbia is massively flooded from the Chilcotin flood. There is a dam on the Chilcotin River and water ran over the top of the dam making the worst fears of authorities realized. Although the damage is not as bad as they feared it could have been at its worst. Some communities evacuated and a SFU professor said it would be devastating for salmon runs because they depend on olfactory cues in the water to guide them back to their spawning grounds. All that's out the window because of the Chilcotin landslide. But would this be the first rodeo for salmon when it comes to landslides wiping out spawning grounds? Salmon have been around for millions of years and you would think in all that time there would have been a few landslides totally garnishing their spawning grounds. In that case, they go to plan B and try to find another river or estuary to do what they need to do. 

Like a troop of ants or a herd of lemmings, salmon have a collective spirit which has been referred to as a group spirit when it comes to decision making. 

Zombies Noir is sh*t and must be some money laundering scam. Iron Guard VR is literally a million times better and its free. 

I was playing Drop Dead part 1, the rooftop level. I picked up a pitchfork and attempted to hurl it down on a zombie, missing the zombie completely.  I hurled down my VR controller as well and that didn't miss landing in a pot of water which I was planning to use for making tea and it is better than if the liquid had been soup or tea. The tannins in the tea would do a real number on electronics. 

Talk about two parallel universes. In one universe I miss, in another, while doing the exact same action, I don't miss. 

An electronics repair technician on YouTube said in such cases it might sound counterintuitive but the solution is to pour more liquid into it, water to wash out the tannins. When it dries out, it will work again. 

Pitchfork. The pitchfork is usually associated with the devil. I had a Catholic thought, "Thats what happens when you pick up a tool of the devil. The VR controller goes out after dropping it in water." 

Well either all that is wrong or I'm still in God's good books because my VR controller seemed to work fine again this morning. 

Earlier yesterday, I was watching a YouTube video of VR fails. An omen? That was the first video that I saw of VR fails ever so it's not like I'm usually watching those kinds of videos every day. 

Sherlock Holmes museum. That museum would only be about a fifteen minute visit. Not that much to see. A bachelor one bedroom apartment from the 1800s. It wouldn't be like visiting the Smithsonian Museum. 

Kamala's VP pick is Tim Walz. Talk about waltzing in to politics. He was a former social studies teacher and was an award winning marksman which would intrigue anyone who is into VR FPS shooter games. He seems like a really nice and likeable guy. He's like the smart older gentleman mentor who had some military experience. Just about everybody has met a person like that at some time in their lives. 

Still thinking about whether or not to get Zombie Noir. What sold me even more is the doorway that opens to a jazzy looking scene of city streets at night. And guns gets upgraded and one even gets silly weapons like an exploding cheeseburger. That's when or if it even works. I don't have $13.50 sized holes burning in my pocket so I don't know if I'll get it. So many scary reviews. "Trust me, don't get it." "The trailers are a scam. It doesn't work."

I already have Drop Dead part 1 and I'm mulling over getting Zombie Noir. That's like having a Mercedes and thinking getting an additional Toyota which is a nice car but let's face it, Mercedes is on another level. 

The Province of BC is like the country of England in that there are only two good towns, the largest sand second largest towns. 

England has London and Birmingham. 

British Columbia has Vancouver and Victoria. 

All other towns are backwaters I don't think are worth visiting let alone living in. 

I live in Victoria but would opt for Sidney? Bizarre. 

Sidney is like Nanaimo except that Nanaimo is just larger and farther away but both basically backwaters with nothing worth doing or visiting. Sidney has the Centre of the Salish Sea which admittedly is nice and the aviation museum is worth visiting especially if you're into World Wars One and Two airplanes VR. Sidney would be the 3rd best town in BC for me in terms if infrastructure and not being a backwater. 

Victoria is a backwater. Once outside the main tourist area of the Legislative Buildings, the Empress Hotel and the Royal BC Museum, there isn't much of anything to do. Government street is kind of like Water Street in Vancouver and Water Street in Newfoundland too. 

With most small towns in BC that are snowbound 8 months of the year and even if it wasn't, there really isn't anything worth doing, the slower pace of life is felt and for some strange inexplicable reason, this seems to amplify those heavenly blissful Sunday vibes. 

In such towns one doesn't feel guilty just staying home and going on VR goggles. Getting VR apps isn't a bad thing. One might learn something from them. 

My controller seems to work fine. No issues. 

I swept the streets again this morning with a broom. The government has been really kind to me over the years and this is my way of giving back. My attitude is that I am grateful for the money I have been given. The government basically paid for my VR video arcade also library. My attitude isn't I want money for this in the future. Heck no. When I was 11, I told my dad that I had a dream where I was offered a lot of money and I said that I didn't want it. 

Money can bring its own set of problems if one isn't ready for it. People on welfare like me make around $1,000 a month and a lot of it goes to rent. More than what people in the third world pay for their rent so they have more take home pay and purchasing power. 

You can easily rent a room in the third world, basic one room with electric and access to a communal washroom for about $50 a month. What are rents in Canada? 

For people on welfare, it is free since the government pays so that's even cheaper than the third world $50 a month rent. And even cheaper than that Catholic village in Europe where the rent is $1 a year. Stipulations of living in that village include going to mass all seven days of the week at the Cathedral in the village and a strict curfew. 

In Catholicism, the Church is the Organization and the Cathedral is the building. 

Whereas in Protestant Anglicanism, the Cathedral is the organization and the Church is the building such as with Christ Church Cathedral. 

There are lots of Churches called Christ Church Cathedral. 

Mark Watney. Bring Him Home. The Martian. 

Two NASA astronauts are stuck in space until 2025. Supplies are being sent up. I recommend sending VR goggles. Stuck there until next February. 

For some that could be a boon. If I was a billionaire, I'd live on a ranch or small island. Alone. I'd have to hire security or find some way around that. The problem is when it gets Louis L'Amour and I have to use a gun to defend the ranch. A better way is to live at an apartment that's basically soundproof. 

Living alone on an island or a ranch equals backwater fishbowl existence. A soundproof apartment in a rocking city with advanced Tron future world architecture and infrastructure would be best. A lot of cities overseas have shopping malls that are very futuristic. Comments on YouTube said the architects behind The Mall of America were contracted to build shopping malls here and there internationally. 

Chongqing China looks very rock show and futuristic except there would be some slight language barrier particularly written language. Linguistic opportunity cost, every hour one is speaking a foreign language overseas is an hour where that one is not speaking English. That would be all right for a person for whom English isn't their number one favorite language and any other language is a very distant second at best. 

This is August, February is six months away. That's about the time it takes to travel to Mars. If the astronauts can come back without developing some forms of osteoporosis, then humans could safely go to Mars. If not, then cancel the trip to Mars altogether on the adage that anything that's too difficult isn't worth doing at all including the living of life. 

I feel that because my mother died when I was young and because I did more good things than the average person, made more of a difference with my cartoons and my writings that on one level God owes me an early reprieve since I want one. Over the decades, I've given back to society where so many others have not. Is it the will of a benevolent God that my mother died? Me and millions of others as well? Others mothers didn't die. The old man on Game of Thrones said, "There is no love like a mother's love. That is something I never knew." 

That's in ideal circumstances. Meanwhile there are stories on the News of mothers doing in their own children. One such mother was herself done in at a prison in the United States. So what can I say? 

Knowing the way my critical faculty works and knowing the way I've been with 98% of all the people I've ever met, I usually try to exquisitely cherry pick some reason why the relationship won't work and like George Carlin said, stick to it. "Form quick opinions with everyone you meet and stick to it." 

So I would have most likely ghosted her too along with the 100% of all the family members I actually have ghosted in my life. Ghosted means no contact at all. I ghosted so many people in my life. What's one more? Or why would it be that difficult for me to believe that I'd probably wind up ghosting my mother at some point had I lived. 

Syllogism:

Major premise: I've ghosted 100% of the members of my family. 

Minor premise: My dead mother is a member of my family. 

Conclusion: I would have most likely ghosted my mother at some point in my life had she lived. 

It's so easy to put the dead on a pedestal. When they were alive all I ever was was upset with them and feeling anxiety about them. And often taking them for granted. That's classic. That's survivor's guilt. 

In the afterlife dimension we'll get the true version of history, not the lies of the Illuminati. That is a popular conspiracy theory that may or may not be true. 

Even if it was, the Illuminati is just a name. The idea is to get the name behind the name and in this case it's the human species under the duress of the physics of this formative phase of our overall multi infinite phase spiritual existence. Names are incidental. 

I have to go on living. Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding. Live trusting that you have a mission in life even if it seems unimportant to you, it is very important to the spirit world. And that things will be all right when the time comes and that it won't be nearly as bad as you thought it would be. Hopefully. 

I have a major death wish. The afterlife is like a VR app that I've always wanted. 

I thought it used to be that if you could come up with an airtight reason you could get whatever you want. I've come up with certain answers that no one else ever has. I believe that I would be owed an early reprieve if I want one.

So many things about my life and about life in general upset me. These things are more wretched offerings from the physics of this dimension. 

Who talks like that? Physics of this dimension. Time is different algorithms and modalities that have to do with subjective and objective experiences with time. 

I feel I deserve an early reprieve. 

If I think of precipitating my wish for an early graduation to the next phase of life or else drop out of the college of this phase of life as a threat to myself, that's one thing. However God is very expansive and would probably see someone who committed suicide as someone who had the guts to show life and the physics of this dimension what it actually thought of it all these years. Someone with audacity and initiative. 

All things contain as set of advantages and disadvantages. 

Graduating early for me would have the advantages of finally ridding myself if the lhsyjcs of this dimension. Life never really worked out for me. I'm in the wrong town but every town on this planet is the wrong town. It's either I never met a girlfriend in this town and would have met one had I lived in another town or else it's this town with its weird culture and weird pace of life set me up with this weird butch and I would have met a much more sophisticated lady had I lived in another town. 

I would say directly to God that I would very much like an early reprieve. I feel that in some ways, I've had more than my fair share of suffering while I did more accomplishments in my life in terms of the average person. The writing and art I've given to the world I think is more than average. If life insists on giving me nothing in return while I give life something good, why do things by half measures? Why not give me the absolute complete nothing which is absence of life in this dimension altogether? 

God I am more than ready to move on to the next and better phase in the next dimension. Since I've come up with certsin answers this life is a waste of time and why would I even want to bother? I feel that I have earned an early reprieve. All my life I've been the person to drop out of college and quit all kinds of jobs and abandon friendships and relationships. Why not take it up another level and I'd really absolutely like nothing better than to drop out of life altogether. I want to quit the job that is life in this dimension altogether. 

God, this is my letter of resignation. 

The Internet said never write a letter to ghosts. Never write a letter to God either unless you absolutely mean it. 

Dear God, I would like an early reprieve. I feel that I've come up with some extraordinary answers about life that no one else has. I feel that this has earned me an early reprieve. Because I suffered more than my fair share while having contributed more than the average person that I absolutely deserve an early reprieve. It would be in the firm of dying suddenly in my sleep. The usual set of things, my pillow, the first thing I see in the morning, my first thoughts, oh I'm awake that means I'm still stuck in the trap of the phsyics of this dimension. Why? I want to go to sleep and then for some mysterious reason just never see those things and feel those sensations and think those thoughts ever agsin ever. That's when I know I got my wish. And when I see my friends and relatives who have gone on again. When I think, all those people who told me that these people died were lying to me and whatever the story was about their demise was simply false because here they are in front of me. When I think that then I know I've made it. 

I'm not sure that I want to go on living. I don't know if the love between me and Heather was ever all that much but it is more love than I have from any person that is living today. 

No one living today is loved and I don't have the same amount of love from anyone as much as I do with Heather. The friendship between me and Heather is still on. I just have to pivot as the friendship is on a different dynamic and on a new level. It's just an intermediary phase as all this is prologue as me and Heather's real friendship will begin when I see her in the afterlife which will be the next and best phase of our friendship. I just can't wait for that phase. So much so that I'd be willing to just throw over this life altogether. 

Who or what do I have to live for exactly? What kind of future do I have in this world? What. Housing crisis? Worry about money and food all the time when in the afterlife one worries about food or money none of the time? Uh, no thanks. 

God, with the full fear of God present within me, here I am tendering my letter of resignation for the World to see. I hope that God gives me a quick and painless heart attack in my sleep. 

Lots of people got an early reprieve for millions of different reasons. Why not me too? 

I have earned my early reprieve. 

Seeing how much I wrote about it, one day I might decide that a fentanyl overdose is the best way to deal with a housing crisis. What would I have to look forward to in the future in this town anyways? More of my teeth falling out? No thanks. 

If I could die in my sleep, that would be great. I don't think that life is something I can handle. 

When I was sweeping the sidewalk this morning, I was thinking that I sure would like to drop out of life and get an early reprieve. I was thinking that on some level I am owed that. 

In the movie Forrest Gump, Lieutenant Dan said, "My destiny was to die in the field with Honor with my men. You cheated me out of my destiny." 

I think that I was cheated out of my destiny through not getting an early reprieve since I've wanted it so much and for such an amount of time. I mean it would be one thing if one didn't want that. But an early reprieve is something that I toht-ally want. 

"I want to get off the bus."

"Everybody wants to get off the bus."

Ingmar Bergman, SCTV

I certainly wouldn't mind getting off the bus as you well know. I'm pulling the string every day yet I'm still stuck here in this broken platform of a broken dimension. I want to get off the bus. 

We're all bozos on this bus. That's Satanism, do you understand? 

VR apps cost quite a bit more than tablet apps but you don't get all those pesky loathsome unwanted ads. That's more of the video game experience and pacing that one would expect to get in the old days when one went to EB Games to get those pricey video game blu rays. Tablets are just saturated with those damned ads. You can barely play a level without being forced to see another ad. 

I would absolutely give up my life in this ghastly wretched dimension to be with Heather again. I don't know if it was ever that much of a friendship but what is was is more than anything I have now. I'm not sure that I want to go on living. I would like a early reprieve in the firm of a quick but devastating and irreversible heart attack or brain aneurysm. Whatever as long as I'm moving on to the next and nuch better phase of life. 

I hate worrying about food and mkney every day. That's so tawdry. 

I feel that the physics of this dimension are beneath me. I feel that for the answers I've come up with and shared to make the world a better place, I feel that I have earned and deserve and am owed an early reprieve. For the answers I've come up with, it is a debt of Honor in the form of an early reprieve that I'm owed. 

I would never presume to think that God owes me anytuing but I do distinctly feel that on some level, the forces of life and the Universe definitely owes me an early reprieve. I will think this way for the rest of my life. 

The show Alone. A person can be alone when enmeshed in the weird sh*t physics of this bonkers dysfunctional defective dimension as one can't teleport in this dimension. Easy fix. Somehow achieve an early reprieve and enjoy the vastly better holographic physics of the next dimension. I came up with these answers. I. Deserve. An. Early. Reprieve. 

I want an early reprieve more than anything else in the whole wide world. 

I don't want to live in this dimension anymore. I want to be rid of it as soon as possible. Every morning I wake up and realize I'm still stuck in this dimension. That will keep on happening. Until it doesn't. 

I am going to say a prayer every day asking God to give me a early reprieve because I feel I earned it for reasons already written about. I won't get it not all that again. I nned God to give me an early reprieve as soon as possible. I admire those who committed suicide. I don't know if any of them wanted an early reprieve but if they did, I admire them that they had the initiative and the courage and the focus to make their own arrangements to hasten a move to a much better dimension. I'd like to do that myself. I'd rather not. I'd rather that God hears my plea to give me an early reprieve. 

There are some things that I love more than life itself and there are more things that I hate more than life itself. That's why. For coming up with such a cogent answer I feel I am fully deserving of an early reprieve. Early reprieve means to die in the physical world and to reside in the exquisite afterlife. I want an early reprieve. I want to drop out of the college of life if that also means the college of the atrocious physics of this dimension. 

I talk to ghosts. I remind them of how I saw them in my dreams and that I want an early reprieve like my old landlord Bud. 

"Bud, you told me that you were on a level of medical care above most people on welfare. You were wearing a white Roman toga. All this happened in a dream I had after you died. Bud, I wish I had an early reprieve for the answers I've come up with as you would know about because of your Vulcan mind melding abilities that all spirits in the afterlife have. Bud, can you blame me for wanting an early reprieve? What would be your advice about that? " 

I said this out loud tonight. I want to see what happens. Will I get an answer? 

Why does God force me to go on living when I don't want to go on living? What a capricious God. I'm very angry about that. Why did Bruce Lee get to die young and I didn't because I certainly wouldn't mind dying young knowing what I know about the waste of time existentially counterefficient and counterproductive physics of this dimension. God is certainly a strange one. I can't question Him but I will maintain that in His presence, I want an early reprieve. I want to just drop out of the college of life. That's my number one wish. 

Why did God take Heather and not me as well? Because if He did, we would have been a matched set and here I thought that God was into sacred geometry. A matched set is one step closer to sacred geometry. I really resent it that God didn't take me along with Heather for all that I want to go on with living which is not much. 

Talk talk talk. The French have a swear word, Ta geule which means your jaw. The dam hinging jaw. I have an answer for that. Richard Matthiesen wrote in What Drama May Come that spirits upon returning to life are shocked to see people moving their mouth, their Jaws when they talk because people in the afterlife don't do that because they don't need to do that.

The jaw is oral, Frueds favorite painting, The Palace of Oral Pleasures. Smoking eating drinking talking. 

Who else could have come up with answers like that? For that I demand an early reprieve for I feel that I am fully entitled to an early reprieve. 

My aunt Lila. "I've seen you in a red raincoat, a yellow raincoat, a dark blue shirt and a dark blue bathrobe in dreams after you died. Would you advance my case for an early reprieve? I don't want to go on living. What. With a housing crisis? Can you blame me for not wanting to live in this dimension? I want to move. To another dimension. To the dimension where you are at." 

Tom Shelby was an opium smoker in Peaky Blinders. I wish opium was legal and that I was an opium smoker. At least then I could have a chance of getting an early reprieve on any given day. If I saw the Angel of Death, I would say, "Take me with you." I am really impatient to at last get to the afterlife when this rotten dimension that I've already come up with answers for and got to the bottom of is over. 

I love Heather more than I love life itself. 

Heather might say, "I don't know what that means because in your case it isn't much."

I fear death and I absolutely don't want to commit suicide but on the same token I'd like an early reprieve and I can't wait until I walk through the doors of the afterlife. I'd be alive and with the threat of physical death no longer hanging over me. 

In this dimension all I ever feel is fear. I probably won't feel fear in the afterlife. 

Wanting an early reprieve. 

My friend said, "There is a saying in Germany, 'The best time to leave a party is when you are having the most fun.' "

Rik Young in the movie American Gangster said, "Quitting while you are ahead and quitting isn't the same thing."

I fear growing old, losing my teeth, the housing crisis. I'd like to quit while I'm ahead. 

The stipulation also includes that if God doesn't give me an early reprieve, I would grimace and accept it. It's up to God, not me. I'm not demanding an early reprieve, all I'm saying is that if there is efen the slightest possibility I could get one. There are lots of stories on the news too numerous to mention that makes my stomach turn when I hear it. Those stories are all variables and ingredients that have to do with the physics of this dimension. 

Heather would want me to go on living. So would Bud and my Aunt Lila. The true wisdom and clarity of the ages says to trust the process and that we will sell no wine before its time, I mean, nobody goes into the next phase of life before their time. Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding. Relax and trust the process. Go with the flow. 

The story behind the smoke bomb in Chinatown is that he went into the restaurant and tried to grab a crab right out of the tank. Police were called and he was busted and released with a PTA promise to appear in court. PTAs often turn into FTAs failure to appear. Indluded was the condition not to go back to that restaurant. 

What did he do? Before noon on the same day, he returned and threw a smoke bomb into the restaurant while people were dining breaking the glass of the door of the restaurant in the process. He was released yet again with conditions and a PTA. 

There might be a saying in the justice system along the lines of sometimes the worst punishment is to release them into the streets. 

Street justice. That guy will run into some weird incidents and meet some interesting people in the next few days. The news never tells the full story. I myself have had but just a taste of street justice. Often when I do things it comes back not much after to bite me in the ass. 

But I never did anything on the level of what that guy did. That's another level of f*ck up. 

Stories. Stories. Three weeks ago in Vancouver, someone who was charged with something or other was released. And then he observed the female Crown prosecutor on the street and ran over and physically attacked her and a female legal assistant. He was arrested. This time he was given a custodial sentence and then once that sentence is completed, he is to leave the Province of British Columbia altogether seven days after his custodial release. 

What was the strategy or thinking was behind that? Clearly we aren't dealing with a University professor with a PhD here. The funny thing is, ha ha, the Prosecutor was probably planning to throw out the case anyways as often happens in Court. So many cases, usually about 50 every day and that's before noon. 

Now this happens. Not too bright. 

That guy must have had a good look at her or has uncanny powers of recognition. Usually the pretrial is done in the forum of virtual video where there are multiple people on one screen so each image would appear small. And even if a person has a one time conversation with someone in a small image on a television screen what are the chances that person on a small image on a television would be recognized on the street? 

The Dunbar number. Most people only remember about 150 people anyways. 

"How many friends do you have now in this town?"  "150."

"How many friends have you had in your whole life in all the towns you ever lived in?" 

"150." 

It's that kind of thing we're dealing with. And there's the Fregoli effect where people look like other people you met and you think it's them. 

So it really is astounding that the person was able to recognize the Prosecutor on the street. 

The trick is to see how the heaven of the afterlife already exists in many ways in this life. An act of kindness to others, a smile, a woman wearing a red dress who walked past me, she was hot, etc

William Blake said in Auguries of Innocence, 

"To see a World in a grain of sand

And a Heaven in a wild flower

Hold infinity in the palm of your hand 

And eternity in an hour 

A Robin Red breast in a Cage

Puts all heaven in a rage" 

The point is to see the heaven in a flower and infinity in the palm of the hand etc. 

Actually, that poem sounds like an acid trip. 

A few days ago, I deposited $13.50 so as to prepay for Zomjies Noir which I still haven't gotten because of the bad reviews. I'm not sure about the replay ability factor. 

I'm not sure how often I replay Mixed Snow World's, First Invasion and the best of the all, Drop Dead 2 The Cabin. Not very often. 

Seeing that I didn't get Zombies Noir, I generated my $13.50 today and got Operation Serpens. And I paid another $11.19 and got Gazzlers. 

These games are rail shooters. 

The term is tail shooter, not station to station teleportation. 

Operation Serpens should be similar to Dead Second, Drop Dead and Crisis Brigade 2 in terms of gameplay. Rail shooter. 

Gazzlers has gorgeous graphics. I was hooked the instant I saw it. One shoots as a tailgunner on a Wes Anderson Asteroid City style train going through the wild wild West. 

For $11, it isn't a major expenditure. 

I'm not giving up. My plan is to completely curb my VR app addiction. It seems I'm getting a new app every two days. Addiction. I've had addictions to different things before. One day, I'll just stop. 

I'll take the gamble and get Zombies Noir on cheque day. It better work or I'll give it an honest bad review. Is this how they run a business? Sell an app that doesn't work? 

One app company took my money and then I want able to install the app at all and they kept the money. No refund. Is that how they run a business? 

Operation Serpens VR and Gazzlers VR are winners. Well worth the noney. 

Operation Serpens. Very very good gameplay. Rail shooter. Graphics good. But pacing is profound. Very very good. In the family of Crisis Brigade 2, Dead Second, Drop Dead, Zombieland. Station to station teleportation rail shooter. 

Gazzlers. Gorgeous graphics. Fun fun gameplay. Good FPS shooter. Graphics are crisp and painterly and beautiful. Fever dream painterly graphics. 

I can try for Zombies Noir. If it doesn't work, i think I can get a refund. 

It's $13.50 on my credit card which I can pay in two weeks. Even if I never pay it. As long as I don't make any other purchase I doubt they'd come after me too hard for $13. I'll pay it. 

I am questioning my own wisdom. Usually apps have a ratio of 10 good reviews for every 2 bad reviews. This app has 10 bad reviews for every 2 good reviews. If I get it and it doesn't work, I was warned. And stupid. 

YouTube video comments about this VR app don't mention it not working. 

It looks really compelling and the gameplay set up is a stationary shooter. Stationary and rail shooters are my favorite. 

Should I get it or not? 

"You met me at a really strange time in my life." Fight Club

I am at a really strange time in my life if I'm still mulling over whether to get Zombies Noir. Its a retarded case. Most apps have a lot more 5 star reviews than 1 star reviews. This app has so many 1 star reviews. 

To quit my addiction I might have to make a promise of Honor to all of you right here and now. That for the rest of this year, I will only get 2 more VR apps and that's it for this year. Zombies Noir and if it doesn't work, I'll eat the $13.50. 

And one more during the 2024 holiday season and that's Aliens Rogue Incursion. 

If I get any other VR apps other than these two, you can kill me. Perhaps you would have to kill me then. 

I'll get Zombies Noir soon just to get rid of the suspense, will it work or not. If it doesn't work, I'll get a refund. 

I'm also on the $13.50 a month meta quest monthly pass. 

If I get another VR app other than Zombies Noir and Alien Rogue Incursion, you would have to get a sniper rifle with high impact bullets and sometime in the next month on any given day, the wonderful thing is, I won't know what day. And then fire about 5 high impact slugs into my chest. Bang bang bang bang-bang!!!!! I would be dead before I knew what hit me. 

Short of this I don't see any other way I can stop my getting yet another VR app every two days. 

Vectors. Triggers. I have to stop looking at the meta quest store and window shopping. 

"Honest as the day is long." 

Days are long as I can't seem to get through any two of them without regressing and relapsing into my addiction. Douglas Bloch said the biggest fear is fear of loss of control, fear of relapse. 

If I get any other VR apps other than the two I mentioned, would you be willing to kill me with a sniper rifle? I can't offer you any reward for that as I am impoverished. The only payment I can offer is your sense of achievement for having helped someone end their VR apps purchasing addiction employing a decidedly incendiarily remedial method. 

I'm thinking of getting the VR app called Alvo priced at $20. I guess you're going to have to kill me now. I can accept it. The 5 star reviews of this app are on fire. They are just glowing. There is a free trial. What would you think of me if I got this? 

The psychic Jennifer said, stop caring about what people think. You be you. Go for it. Go on an adventure. Be unconventional. Try different experiences. 

With Zombies Noir, it's a strange case. The details page on the meta store of this app says it's available for Quest 3, Quest 2 and Quest Pro. Quest 2 doesn't do AR. Quest Pro kinda does AR but passthrough is really badly, distorted. 

Quest 3 does passthrough really well. Could the bad reviews be from the people who use Quest 2 and Quest Pro? The details page is misleading and sucks people in who have 2 and Pro to get it. 

It should say that it is only available for Quest 3. 

This might wind up being a classic case of fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me. I was fooled once when I saw the YouTube videos but fooled twice when I fooled myself by not listening to the reviews and getting it anyways. 

I'm getting a really strange vibe from the reviews section of this app. The atrocity reads like no other VR app review I have ever encountered. The graphics and gameplay look so enticing. 

Most apps that are VR and not AR will work on Quest 2 and Pro and those are the apps that always get the glowing 5 star reviews. 

This app is an AR app but also is available for purchase for and supposedly works on Quest 2 and Quest Pro but that simply isn't the case. The thing is, I have a Quest 3 so it should be able to work for me. If it doesn't, ask for a refund. If not then that app developer will have garnished my $13.50. 

I tried Flip VR and Pistol Whip VR free trial a few days ago. It didn't stick with me. There's no accounting for taste. So it's not like I'm getting every VR app. There is a criteria that gets stricter as time goes on because of experience.

Getting a lot of VR apps makes me a VR afficianado. 

I'll try Alvo tonight. I won't try Alvo tonight. Seeing the YouTube video of it, this app sure isn't a station to station teleportation rail shooter. It's a move around motion sickness shooter and I hate those. 

My whole life. Every place I've ever been. Every person I've ever met. Every decision I've ever made. Has led me here to this moment. Obsessing and mulling over VR apps particularly Zombie Noir. Can't win for losing I guess. 

I've been sleeping a lot lately. And I have the foggy brain of unresolved grief. 

One of the signs of grief is at first sleeping too little and then there follows a phase of sleeping too much. 

My grief ridden mind has fueled my obsession with VR. 

The only cure is to go out for a few hours a day. Get back to nature. Look at beautiful women. Then have a thought spiral of she's beautiful but that beauty is a trap. There are no such things as a damsel in distress. There are only ever bossy betches. From experience. 

I paid $6.72 for Cartridge 81 VR. 

Very reminiscent of the early 80s video games. It's very much like Tron. Well worth the money. Very repayable. 

Space Pirates VR looks like a stationary shooter. Price, pricey. $25.51 plus tax. 

Standing stationary. Plus. Tron like graphics. Overdone in VR. Seen one seen them all. 

Shooting small flying robots and drones. 

Is it on the level of Crisis Brigade 2 and Drop Dead? No. 

It's not like a had to have it instant I saw it kind of app. It was starting to watch a YouTube video about it, minutes after and still thinking. That means forget it. 

Not getting it. Shooting drones was the most nor least favorite part of Dead Second VR and Guns & Stories VR. But pricey as f*. 

Operation Serpens is a lucky find. 

There's no more station to station teleportation shooters or if there are, the herd is starting to thin since I got a few of them already. Just forget it. I've been on these phases before. One day, somehow, I just get over it. 

$18. On the hook. $12 for Gazzers and $6 for Cartridge 81. Still thinking of getting Zombies Noir. Should I get it or forget it? 

Saturday, August 10, 2024

Former YouTube CEO Susan Woijicki died. She had cancer. 

As someone who uploaded videos to YouTube, I have to pay her a tribute. 

YouTube has allowed me to live my childhood dream of being an animated cartoonist. 

It was through YouTube that I learned the words from an Angel Studios video

"We don't go from being alive to being unalove. We go from being alive to being even more alive." 

I thought of her this morning and whispered the words, "You are a great lady. Don't forget to fly." 

Spirits in the afterlife can fly however people can fly in their dreams sometimes as well. 

Guide to FPS VR apps:

10 Point and shoot 

20 GOTO 10

30 RUN

I prepaid for Zombies Noir. Oh, were back to that again. 

"Good night.... Ding ding ding ding ding-ding!" 

"Oh, we're back to that again." 

Monty Python

I've been obsessing over that for over four days now. It might be worth it just to get it and find out once and for all. I've never had anything worth $13 bother me for so long. 

The time spent bothering and mulling over is worth more than $13. But I don't want to lose the $13. 50 after so many bad reviews. 

And the beat goes on. Ball of confusion. 

The trick is to find ways that Heaven is already here in Earth. If you do something kind for others you create a heaven not only in a place but a zone of heaven within yourself. In that moment of kindness you become the heaven in the afterlife that you seek. 

And if you miss someone in the afterlife, look for signs of how they are with you all the time. 

The when it is time to go to the afterlife, it won't be that much more of a change than how things were before. "It's great to be here in the heaven of the afterlife but I was in a way already more or less here just yesterday." 

And when I see someone in the afterlife, I might say, "This isn't that much of a reunion because I felt you with me the whole time all along." 

Today, I saw a truck drive past me. On the truck was written the name of a company. The name of that company is Heather's last name. Hello. That was a wink from Heather. 

I took the plunge. I got Zombies Noir. It works good. Sort of. 

The part that I paid for works good. 

The part I paid for was zombies getting in the too and the person shooting them. 

The firing range doesn't work. 

In the zombie invasion stage, it asks the player to spawn or find space for 2 single doors. 

In the shooting range, it asks to spawn two double doors. Or at least one double door and my room was too small and too full of things, so couldn't do it. 

It's good enough. Far a lot of shooter apps there is often a learning curve when it comes to reloading guns. That's normal. I was taken down fast. 

It's worth the $13. I'm not going to worry aboolut the extra bit I didn't expect anyways, the firing range. Maybe it will work in another space. 

It's not a go to game on the level of Dead Second and Drop Dead and Crisis Brigade 2. It's something for the autumn Halloween season.  

Zombies Noir. Worked once and never again. Each time one has to redo the room set up. Works the first time works every time? Nope. Works first time, works no other time. Uninstalled and requested a refund. Was able to request a refund. Often one is shut out of the refund page altogether with the usual pop up. 

VR month is like Pride month except a lot gayer. 

You probably want me to list some of the gayest things I've ever seen in VR using a kind of gay apophenia that a person doesn't have to be gay to have. 

1. Dead Second. One of the opponents is a detective or an enemy agent wearing a shirt and tie and has a beard. When you shoot one of his opponents that look like him because they have different color hair or else some of the opponents happen to be Black, he gives the opponent who you just shot, a distinct facial expression of distressed heartbroken adoration. It's as if you just shot his gay lover! In my mind whenever I see him, I get the intrusive and unwanted thought, "There's Greg, the gay cop."

2. Crisis Brigade 2. The zombie infestation level, there's only one. All of the zombies are white, male, young and bald and wearing jeans forming the gayest bunch I've ever seen anywhere. They look like gay skin head zombies. In spite of not wanting to think so, they actually look like that. 

3. Ark & Ade. I'm pretty sure that every one of the opponents, those guards dressed in red, are gay. Ark, ARC, AIDS Related Complex, pneumocystisis Carinii, Kaposi's sarcoma. Ark & Ade, ARC & AIDS 

4. Operation Serpens. The design of the soldiers who are your allies fighting along with you on your side look a tad gay. Just a tad. 

5. Epic Roller Coaster. The roller coaster car dialled Fun-alicious. Really? Fun-alicious? That sounds a lot like An*l-icious. 

The weapons Splatter Blaster and Bubblegun look as gay as all get out. 

6. Attack on Titan. The player is on the roof top of a medieval Spanish or Italian village. What's the difference? And the opponent is gigantic naked men men walking around in the village. Nah. Come to think of it. There's nothing gay about that at all. What would be gay about that? I don't see how that could possibly be gay in any way. *sarcasm 

However, these apps all have women with nice bodies and they dress kind of skanky. 

Even the zombies. When the zombie ladies get get, they die lying down on the ground with legs spread in front of me. Just as I was resolved to be single for life because I fear the future and don't see any kind of a future, I get tempted. Women. There's no finding them but there's no avoiding them either. 

The wrong woman is a trap. The right woman. Does she even exist? 

I am 100% hetero. I'm not even bi. 

So I'm watching a movie called The Lodge. 

The scene in the trailer where the young girl grabs the hat out of the lady's hand I thought was really cute. Oh girl, you're so cute and so smart! 

Seeing the movie, the story is rather interesting and promises to be a major story that is if I push through to the end of the movie. 

The premise goes as thus. A family of four, one older son and a younger daughter. The husband tells the wife that he is divorcing her for another woman that the wife has presumably met at some point in the past. The wife was probably thinking that she couldn't raise the children as a single mother, take the children to soup lines and food lines and worst of all have them go through public school. In private school they teach, "Were better than the poor classes." In public school they would never be allowed to teach, "We are better than the rich." But in private school they remind the students of how they're better than the poor all the time. With probable thoughts of the horrors of public school that her children would have to endure, she does herself in with a hand gun. 

The children are imaginably rather nonplussed about this all. They do some Internet researching about the new stepmother and it turns out she is the only survivor of a suicide cult. She belonged to one of those strange cults like "Church isn't over until the snakes are out back into the bag." but worse. It was a suicide cult. 

I made the connection to Sophie in the novel The DaVinci Code. She was a survivor of a cult as well. 

That's what made me ask myself if I wanted to see the movie despite the cute trailer. Religions can be quite square and I don't like culty cults. Ugh. 

This is where I got to push through. I don't know what kind of a story it will turn out to be, but it promises to be a doozy. 

The woman who the little girl grabbed the hat from in the trsiler is the stepmother from the culty cult. 

This makes me reflect that there is a great potential for a woman to be a trap. I would advise to practice discernment. However, as in this case of the culty cult girl, some women are more of a trap than others. Sometimes it's best to be single. 

The movie looks like an Ikea movie, set in Scandinavia. Snowbound environment, but the accents in this movie are strong American and there are some places in the US that are snowbound, like Alaska for example. 

The movie ending did itself dirty. Final result: crazy cult lady kills entire family. 

This afternoon, I had a afternoon nap. I dreamed that I was in Vancouver at night but about to board a Skytrain that would take me back to Victoria. I saw Heather but I was distracted in my mind thinking of how I'd get back to Victoria. Then as I was walking towards the Skytrain station at night, sidewalks buildings, there was a park to the right of me and Heather was walking with me to my left. She was wearing a black dress that had lots and lots of little flowers on it of all different colors. She was silent. She didn't say a word. Her hair was dark brown, not a trace of white or grey hair. 

In the VR app Crisis Brigade 2 there is a level called Montoya's Retreat. The character based off of the movie Scarface and is the AL Pacino character. In the VR app, the Spanish accent is about a 12 out of 10. It's incredibly over the top. 

"You want to play? I play with you! Soy Tony Montoya. Solo Sacramento!" or something like that. I didn't get all of it of what he said since I don't speak French. 

And in another part of the level he says, "You think you can take me? You're going to need an army to take me!" 

The Spanish accent is incredible. 

Monday, August 12, 2024

Thursday, August 15. I took this screenshot which only appears once in the history of this app. Game of Thrones connect 3. So this picture is rare. 

There are riots in the UK. 

British people are not racist but they have to deal with huge waves of immigrants. 

England isn't recognizable as England. A lot of places you see on YouTube, there's hardly any White people. In towns you see one ethnic shop after another. 

All ethnic cultures and let's face it, even the English speaking cultures; All cultures have some gangster empire builder mentality and if you give them any signals that you're interested in their silly culture, they will try to coopt you in to their weird sh*t. 

They ran one place to the ground and they move to another place thus running two places into the ground. 

They don't want to assimilate, they want to take over. 

How much are the British expected to give just to sjow that they're tolerant?

DPs. Displaced peoples. Carpetbaggers, semineducated opportunists. 

Xenophobes. They live in a country for forty years and still can't string together five sentences of English. There are xenophobic individuals are from every culture, even English speaking cultures. 

But when England elected a Muslim Prime Minister Rishi Sunak and a Muslim Mayor of London Saddiq Khan, what kind of signal is that sending? 

England is a cultural theme park, could we at least have some cultural integrity? It's not unusual to see Mayors, Governers etc in the States who are Black but the States has immigration quotas. 

The New British PM Keir Starmer is a Labour rather than a Tory which is rare. Labour tends to be comparatively soft on immigration compared to Tories. YouTube comments said that while it took Margaret Thatcher ten years, KS in three weeks has become Britain's most hated Prime Minister. 

I don't know what happened to England. I guess because it's their proximity to all these oonga boonga lands. A lot of immigrants want to move to England but it's not mutual. Not a lot of British would want to move to oonga boonga land. 

While the West has a lot of non white politicians however, in those other ethnic countries, there aren't a lot of if any white politicians. 

I realize that I myself am an immigrant even though I arrived here as a child brought here without my consultation. Every country has its own set of advantages and disadvantages. If I was ever had to be deported along with thousands of other immigrants back to where ever, in that case I would certainly lean into the strike zone and take one for the team. I'd be deported. Living in another country where I would be deported to another country could be quite a blast. 

First World countries are over-rated. Third world countries are under-rated. 

In the West, immigrants are labeled as a visible minority. Back in their own country, they are one of the majority. If a person is in the town they are born in, there's no feeling like that you know that they know that you know that they know that you were born in that town. I'm a chameleon. I fit in anywhere. I learn languages fast. The thing in life is to have no loyalties to any country. Whatever country offers you a better deal, go there and completely forget about the other country. Because often it's not because of who you are, it's because of where you are. Things about you that are such an issue in this town is irrelevant in another and vice versa too. 

The countries that the immigrants come from can be quite a blast, very lively festive fecund, prolific places instead they opt for a sterilized Western sh*thole. Baffling. Bizarre. A lot of immigrants moved to one of the small towns in England which are backwater concentration camps. In the West you have a lot of rooming houses. No children. No pets clause. Only old people live there. In the third world, all you have are prolific streets full of people of all ages and many cute pets too. To move from Calcutta or New Delhi to some small backwater British town would be taking a step backwards. 

"You left San Francisco to come to Michigan? Are you f*cking brain dead?" The Five Year Engagement

Those towns have nothing but unemployment and delinquent meth addicts who are as inbred as f*ck. An ad of an old age home, Legion Major Victoria said, "It's like living in an old English village." Yeah, except for the unemployment, the immigrant riots, drug addicts hanging about and much more of an inbred population. Big clunky head, equals inbred. An intrusive and unwanted thought registers as some of them have Alfred E Neumann looking faces. That's wretched and is a product of the mental filter of this dimension. 

London is the only town in England worth visiting. Birmingham is let's face it, a distant second, I mean in terms of fame and notoriety. Pesky Blinders is supposed to put Birmingham on the map but. Not really. I still haven't played the Peaky Blinders app and this causes me some anxiety. I was thinkijng that I'd have to watch all 5 seasons of Peaky Blinders before playing it. Anxiety happens when one compels themself to have a compulsion involving any rabbitholes. When one places an impulse on oneself to do something most other people probably wouldn't ever bother with, that's the recipe for an anxiety disorder. 

I can't really believe that boatloads of refugees are supposedly flocking to stay in small backwater towns in England. Not even addled illiterate refugees and even from war-torn regions would be that severely f*cked up that they would opt to live in some blithering blinding backwater jerkwater sh*thole town in England. It's got to be a PR stunt. 

London is 52 degrees North, same as Prince George. Edinburgh is 55 degrees North, same as Dawson Creek BC. You know what the weather is like in those towns. And so boatloads no less, of refugees who are genetically acclimatized to subtropical if not desert regions would opt to suddenly move to these tropically challenged small backwater towns in England? I'm supposed to believe that? 

Something else is that much more difficult to believe that most of those supposed boatloads of refugees who are from lands that are on a mainland would all of a sudden opt for island living. Or else they haven't fully thought things through. It has happened to all of us at one time or another. England is Island living. Emo penguin Island. Living on the mainland, one gets a vibe that they are connected to something that is more geographically contiguously relevant. Island living is a rarefied and slower pace of life, a seige mentality from the sheer nature of being a small land mass surrounded on all sides by water, a geographically disparate and separate from the main pulse of the nation vibe. There are two kinds of island living, one where the entire island is a country like Japan of part of a country like Vancouver Island. Whereas Great Britain is the sceptered isle comprised of not two but three countries! England, Wales and Scotland. Ireland is the emerald isle comprised of two countries, N Ireland and S Ireland. So mainlander immigrants want to try their hand at island living? After ten years of living on an island you really feel the difference. Either you really like it or you really hate it and if you had any money, you'd move back to the mainland. Vote with your feet. 

"Their lives were nasty, short and brutish." Shakespeare was referring to people who live in small towns in Northern England. 

The typical immigrant has a certain mentality. Venal, opportunist. Anyone who is spiritual and doesn't care about money and is able to be happy where they are despite the circumstance are those who usually aren't too eager to be an immigrant. News reports say that a lot of the immigrants are criminals, gangsters who are basically unwanted in any country, either in England or from whatever oonga boonga land they came from. 

Each town has its own set of advantages and disadvantages that may or may not resonate with your temperament. 

All I'm saying is that each place in the World is equally more or less a backwater which is why the world's population is evenly distributed. If there was one place that was really really good, then everyone in the World would move there. But best town in the World would only ever be a subjective opinion. 

I hope that most of those immigrants get deported. England did have a strong white culture in terms of entertainment, and literature. 

These are not immigrants. There is a distinction. Immigrants applied through legal channels. These are refugees. Boat hoppers and refugees usually made up of a certain demographic. Criminals, junkies, prostitutes, gypsies, pickpockets like Oliver Twist, merchants that want to set up some fly by night enterprise or other usually along the lines of pushing their ethnic line, ethnic clothing, ethnic music, etc. Forget about adopting the local culture as their own. 

"Culture is not your friend." Terence McKenna

While I didn't have access to the place I was born, I do get access to a much much better language. I've taken the better languages to places that it would have been impossible to take in that other language and the places I have taken the English language will help me in the afterlife. Advantages and disadvantages of regions. 

I'm not sure that I would ever want to travel to England. Or anywhere. Run into some weird snarky situation and you think, "There's no way this would be happening had I wisely decided not to travel."

Someone on YouTube comments said, "I left England 7 years ago. Best thing I ever did."

There are people who are so glad that they left England. Why would I then be wanting to go there? 

England is one of those countries where there are more British people living outside of England than in England. And supposed boatloads of refugees want to go there? 

Most backwater jerkwater towns anywhere on the planet suffer from a serious tourist crisis. There are no tourist buses gong through those towns because no wants wnats to go there. The populations of small towns are small because no one wants to live there. 

Instead of saying please come to our town, there's some sneaky story about how boatloads of refugees are going to those towns and they can't keep them away is an attempt to make those towns look more appealing when they are not. 

In any town, and also Province and country, there are two kinds of people one is the person who if they had a million dollars, they would still stay in that place and the other is if they all of a sudden had a million dollars, they'd be gone pretty much immediately. 

For me, I am at the place where I don't know. 

On one hand, anyone you meet as an expat is part of a grand travel adventure and anyone you meet back home is another variable in an equation of regression. 

On the other hand, traveling is a big hassle and I am a firm believer of that anything that is too difficult isn't worth doing at all including traveling and even the living of life if only I had that choice. I don't get to choose when my life ends. It is God that chooses. Although if it were up to me, I'm honestly not sure how much longer I'd want to be around. 

Wrong thinking: Anything worth doing is worth doing right. 

Right thinking: Anything that is too difficult isn't worth doing at all. 

I visited the Catholic Church this morning for the food line. After getting all those apps I have to budget now. 

Going to the CC reminded me of how the Catholics view all life as sacred so they would be strongly against anyone wishing for 'an early reprieve". 

God knows a person's subconscious more than a person does let alone their conscious. It's the conscious that sometimes wants to have an early reprieve. The subconscious works on an algorithm that the conscious doesn't understand or recognize because the subconscious works more on the quantum physics level. The quantum field. 

The subconscious more in direct flow with the universe also does not want a person to have an early reprieve if it can at all be avoided. 

There are a lot of things that I hate about life even more than I hate life itself that have to do with the physics of this dimension. Things that I would like to experience for the last time. Things that are existentially counterproductive and is therefore a waste of time. 

Things like hearing the noisy neighbour upstairs. 

That's why I want an early reprieve. The answers that I've come up with. I feel that I have deserved and earned and am on some level owed an early reprieve because I want one choosing that as a reward for my accomplishments. 

I still often hope that God grants me an early reprieve in the form of getting a sudden massive heart attack or brain aneurysm in my sleep and I never wake up again. Ever. 

God granted so many others whom I knew an early reprieve. Why not me as well? 

I think I'll be single for life. 

I'm doomed. The gods have doomed me. 

I remember in 2003, I walked in through the restaurant area of a guesthouse going to whatever point A to point B. When I walked in, there was a couple. An Asian guy and a white lady. The Asian guy said, "He's crazy. No one can deal with him." 

In some cultures, people will call another person crazy at the drop of a hat. It's a National obsession in backwater countries that can't grow outwards but instead reflect inwards. 

Perhaps he's right. No one can deal with me. "You say that like it's a bad thing." YouTube said that people who are loners are often advanced in some way and normal social interaction bores them. 

I'm like the plague doctor SCP-049. He said, "I'm doomed to walk the hallways of hell for tens of thousands of years. I am neither able to forgive nor be forgiven." or words to that effect. I think I'm doomed to be single for life. 

If that's the case, why not cut out the middleman and what if God gives me an early reprieve? 

To be single is disenfranchising but to be with the wrong wkman is hundreds of times worse than being single and just about all of them if not all of them are wrong in some way. Roger Hargreaves. Mr Men. Everyone has their issues. All relationships are dysfunctional all individuals are dysfunctional The egregious physics of this dimension are dysfunctional. I came up with these answers. I think I deserve an early reprieve if I want one. 

Someone on YouTube comments said, "You're writing the same sentence over and over again in 50 different ways."

I wouldn't mind an early reprieve. Be with Beebs again. That would be my sentence written 50 different ways. 

I would like an early reprieve from physical life but I fear dying. It will be one really edgy day. Once I get that over with, I'll have it made. I don't think I'll be happy until I get there. I would never commit suicide. But if God were to give me an early reprieve, how could I prevent that? Why would I want to? What or else who do I really have to live for? 

For the answers that I've come up with, I feel that I am entitled to an early reprieve. 

I don't see the point of living for myself personally. I've lost all hope for the future. 

My mental illness is massive. I'm thinking of purchasing the movie Animal House on YouTube for $16.79 including tax. 

A couple of things. My budget. I'll wait until cheque day until purchasing it. 

This is the summer. University doesn't start until the day after Labour Day. That would be the best time to get the movie. 

John Belushi. Died of multiple massive speedballs. Seeing him on the screen makes me feel sad remembering how he died. John Belushi had a bit of a bounce when he walked. 

Getting something every day, every two days is decadent and extravagant. A person should only just get one thing maximum a month off the internet be it a tablet app, a VR app or a movie off YouTube. 

To be 100% sane and normal, a person should never be extravagant. They should save what little money they can. Saving money is the road to sanity. 

When it comes to Peaky Blinders, God will help me find a way where I don't see a way. 

A YouTube comment said, "Jesus is intimately concerned with even the smallest details of your life." 

Just binge watch the five seasons, you might enjoy it. Then try the app. All VR apps have mind blowing surprises. So do tablet apps. They have all along except you notice it more in VR. 

Tuesday, August 13, 2024

Last night I had a wretched stomach ache that lasted for hours. I thought I was dying. Finally it ended. 

Unlike my life. Life is like an app that I either like and would recommend to others or else it's an app that I don't like and would not recommend. For me, life is the latter. Life is a raw deal. Life, once a person is born they have to face the eventuality of one day lslosing their teeth, getting old and dying. 

It is not an app I like nor would recommend to anyone else. That's why I'm glad I didn't have any children. A YouTube comment said, "Having children is like sentencing someone to hell without their permission." 

I never did like life all that much and I've been saying it for years. 

I don't come from a family that I can intellectually respect. My parents were chronic liars. Mendacious. Then I remember that they come from a language where every time you writeing words, you're drawing all these different pictures. Someone from a culture would look at life in a more abstract way VS a more logical way. Left brain logic, right brain artistic. A pictographic alphabet is a very right brain alphabet whereas English is a left brain alphabet. 

So I'm not surprised that my parents therefore looked at life and things like truth through their weird abstract right brain pictographic alphabet derived lenses and thus lied often. 

One would think that a pictographic alphabet predated alphabets with phonetic based letters. Cultures that still operate on pictographic writing systems are like glorified cavemen with their primitive cave paintings. 

Never mind to someonewho speaks a different language, even to people who speak that language when they see a new pictographic character, even to them there's no clue to the sound of, let alone the meaning of the word. What the hell kind of writing system is that? 

It's people from every culture that lies. Even the English speaking cultures. 

The human species is egregious, pernicious, contemptible and insufferable and my family line that I'm from isn't worth anything to me. I have come up with airtight logical reasons why God should give me an early reprieve. 

I envy the dead. They are where I wish I was right now. 

For the answers I have come up with, I am owed an early reprieve. I don't like life. I don't want life. I want to be where all my friends who graduated to the majorly phase of life are. Who could blame me for wanting that? 

I got the movie Animal House. Get it once and it's a gift that keeps on giving. A few years from now if I'm still alive, I'll still have it but completely forget about the day I paid for it years ago so it's like I got it for free. 

Animal House, The Shining and Stripes are the best movies to watch at a University movie theatre and I have all those movies purchased on YouTube plus the Gallery Environment on Big-screen so that it a University movie theatre. 

There are some things about the physics of this dimension that I really like such as VR goggles. 

As you know, there are lots of things about the physics of this dimension that I hate. And this is vs the holographic teleportation al set of physics of the afterlife where I prefer to be because I think that I earned it. 

Saturday Night Fever. I was amazed when people in this town told me that they saw Saturday Night Fever in the theatre in the 70s. It must have looked awesome on big screen. Thanks to VR, I can see any movie in big screen. 

Saturday Night Fever has an extended edition. I don't want the extended edition. I want the original edition. I am very sure about that. The extended edition annoys me. 

YouTube is probably selling the extended edition so I'm probably not going to get it plus I want to save money as I go through life. Why? Just for myself. I don't plan to travel because traveling is a big hassle. I plan to be single because women are a trap. Everyone has issues. Word salads. Hanging on words. Power struggles to establish dominance. Women are very impervious. They will give you so many orders that tlhalf the time you aren't even aware that they're doing it. The damsel in distress is a lie. There are no damsel in distress. There are only ever bossy bitches. The tempting beauty is one side of the coin. The other side is the needless psychodrama. 

Millions of people are single. Millions of people are not. One more. One less. What's the difference? Why is it such an issue with you? 

Jasper the friendly ghost town. Devastating. 

If you're a construction worker looking for work, this is the opportunity to get in on the ground floor. Lots of construction work there. Beautiful scenery. 

Saturday Night Fever is a movie I'm mulling over getting. And which I did get. 

It is the original and not the extended edition. 

My involvement with that movie started back in the 70s when I collected Saturday Night Fever cards along with Elvis cards, Jaws cards, Grease cards, Alien cards, Star Wars cards, KISS cards, Close Encounters of the Third Kind cards, Planet of the Apes cards and stickers and hockey and baseball. Before cell phone apps and Nintendo units there were cards. 

Then I think I watched it in the late 90s on videotape having borrowed it from the library. 

A few years ago, I got into dancing. Watching the dancing dwarf on Twin Peaks changed my life. 

Then after a few months of dancing, I walked into a store downtown and got a DVD copy of SNF for $1. Which was a pretty good price. 

About a year later, I got a Blu Ray copy of that and I watch that movie often. I watched it quite a few times this year just before I got my VR goggles. 

After getting the DVD, I talked to a few people who are older than me about Saturday Night Fever and how awesome it would have been to see it on big screen during the 70s. That movie was major. 

The sequel, Staying Alive is a good movie to watch on a Sunday afternoon for generating Sunday vibes. The music is genius. 

However, I never heard of that movie in the theatre and even if I did, I wouldn't have know that it was the sequel to Saturday Night Fever. In that movie, Tony Manero or else John Travolta isn't doing disco dancing. He is doing impressionist modern dance like Martha Graham and Paul Taylor. Well, if you're into that school of dance. To me it seems nebulous and not on point with the heartbeat synced rhythms of 4/4 time of rock and disco. 

I haven't watched Staying Alive for years which I do have the DVD of. But Saturday Night Fever I watched quite a few times this year. 

John Travolta was Michael the Angel in another movie and I think that he really is an angel. Would he be the reincarnation of Michelangelo? I've seen pictures of Michelangelo and he sure doesn't look like John Travolta. 

I got Saturday Night Fever for $19. That's the listed price. Who cares what people think when it comes to getting a classic iconic 70s movie to view on VR big screen cinema. I feel guilty about spending money. The perfect person is someone who is thrifty like Thrifty Foods. 

A one time purchase and its not like the movie is going away any time soon. It will be with me possibly for life. 

Saturday Night Fever fits the criteria. Classic movie I've wanted to see on jig screen and have been actively and not passively thinking about what it would have been like to see that movie on Granville Street in the 70s. 

I even visualized where I'd be sitting. On the left side of the theatre, two or three seats in from the aisle, centre row and about 4 or 5 seats from the screen. I always visualized sitting at that spot. 

I don't know if I should mention this. In a couple of scenes in the movie, John Travolta looks down at the girl slightly smiling, the facial expression of Kirk. One scene was with Annette, Donna Pescow. The other scene was with Stephanie. The reminds me of the dream where I was sitting at a round table then I look up and see King George VI looking down at me and smiling slightly like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. 

I don't know why I use the word Kirk to describe a look or a vibe. James Joyce did that often. The moocow, apologize apologize, pull out his eyes, apologize. It's this weird spontaneous poetry that shows up in the mind for no reason. 

Star Wars is about $5 more but I haven't watched Star Wars in years. My subconscious remembers a time in my life when I had the VHS tape when it was first available for home viewing and that I watched that movie about a hundred times. Literally, not figuratively. Star Wars, Empire, Jedi, I haven't watched those movies in years. I've seen them hundreds of times. The soundtrack is all right but certainly not on the level of Saturday Night Fever. 

Raiders, Temple of Doom, Last Crusade, I've seen them about what feels like a hundred times at one time on VHS, DVD and haven't watched these movies for years and years. 

These are classic movies, but there are tons of them. 

These are movies I won't get. Why am I even mentioning them? 

Some people might think, why would you get SNF and not Star Wars and Raiders? Soundtrack. That's why. 

One might think that while SNF and Animal House have scenes of drug use, perhaps not Animal House, I don't remember that in Animal House, Star Wars and Raiders doesn't. Oh really? At the cantina in Mos Eisley there was a hookah pipe. In Raiders at different bars, one in Nepal, one in Cairo, people could be seen smoking suspicious substances. 

Ever since I use only streaming either on free movie sites or else YouTube, I don't use my Blu ray player anymore. 

Tubi is rich with lots of very good top rate iconic movies. Free. The most user friendly video site next to YouTube. Tubi is beauty and perfection. 

Close Encounters was a classic movie. The only part that was worth any money is the spaceship landing and then seeing the grey zeta reticuli aliens and then the ship very quickly recedes up and away into the sky. Classic. That part was only about ten minutes long. The rest of the movie. Who cares? Whatever. 

Planet of the Apes. Would have loved to have been one of the first people to walk out of the movie theatre on Granville during the late 60s with mind blown after seeing the unforgettable pivotal ending. That pleasant shock effect would have stayed for hours. 

The ending was the best part. A lot of the movie was 60s television production values filmed on a sound studio but the exterior nature scenes were awesome. That movie was filmed at Yellowstone Park and also Long Beach California. But don't quote me on that. Those places are simply where I think it was filmed. 

Wednesday, August 14, 2024

August 14 already? The month is half over. So fast. 

Dating sites. The ideal. The reality. 

The reality is that one meets a bossy bitch who if you give an inch will take a mile. Would be all to willing to humiliate. Not guaranteed but the potential is there for sure. 

One set of worries for another. Now you met someone online. Get it on or not? Erectile dysfunction or else worry intensely that in two weeks you will be told that you're on the hook for child support? How much am I really into her? Do I marry her or else how do I break up with her, dreaming of the day some magical incident will cause us to separate. "You know she's gone and she won't be back you must be a happy man." 70s song. 

Marriage, marital burnout. Perhaps even parental burnout. All the while comparing the time now to the time before. 

Whatever woman you are with, there's always a better woman somewhere else who you could potentially score with. Such sentiments are the death of me. This is the damned wretched brain that I have to work with. 

Or face decades of singleness. 

I'd be willing to quit life altogether. I think it's reasonable for me to ask for God to give me an early reprieve. It's according to temperament. My temperament tells me that I want to quit life like quitting an awful job. Actually there is a way to quit and that's with a fentanyl overdose. 

I think my neighbour is dead. He said he went to his sisters or daughters who lives in the suburbs. Rich house. House sitting. He said he'd return right after BC Day. 

Still not returned. 

Could be an extended stay, or hospitalized. 

I hope that he didn't die. 

But if he died, I would envy him because he doesn't have to worry about coming up with the money for food every day. The brain would be a lot clearer in thinking. In this dimension, the brain is the bane, at times saturated with intrusive and unwanted thoughts. 

One day I'll be dead and to me it will be no small relief. I tend to look back at things, remember the negative aspects and am really glad that I'm not there. I remember towns I used to live in and am sure glad that I'm not there. That aspect of the personality will survive into the afterlife. I'll be glad that I'm no longer on the Earth with its troublesome worries. 

If my neighbour died I envy him because I wish that I am where he is. I hate worrying about food and money every day. Do I have enough money left? What to eat, exactly. And then it's a hassle having to go from point A to point B with tawdry tedious points in between because one can't teleport. In the afterlife, I wouldn't have to worry about any of that even as an Earthbound ghost. However I think I'm going to heaven. Someone on YouTube said that a person can get signs in life that they've been preapproved for heaven. That their entire future has been scanned and they have been cleared. Millions of people have that. If that's the case, I certainly can't wait to get there. 

The housing crisis. I'd rather be dead than to live in a world with a housing crisis. Would God not see that as reasonable? Why didn't He grant me an early reprieve? My request is more than reasonable. It's a choice based on temperament. My temperament is to quit anything that's too difficult. 

Update: Nope. On this very day, he returned fit and in good health. He said his relatives went to Disneyland and stayed for an extended trip. Who could blame them? Disneyland would be a place where one would understandably opt for an extended trip. 

I would give my life to be with Heather again. I watched out for her in life, I feel that I have to be there in the afterlife to be with her again. 

It's one thing to meet people and then be at some place or group with them for a few years even but I don't feel that just because I've known them for whatever amount of time that now I have to know them for life. Or just because I went to some place for awhile now they expect me to be going there for life. 

That's the problem with the human species. I don't feel that I have to go to any place for life. 

A lot of these prosaic places, offer trouble because that's the only thing they are capable of offering. They certainly aren't capable of offering any artistic creativity. 

They couldn't off you any advancement because they can't even offer advancement to themselves as this is a hallmark of  backwater towns and countries that think that they are the center of the universe. 

Yesterday, I watched the last episode of the first season of Peaky Blinders. As usual the brain paints a picture but the future turns out to be more or less all right after all. The guns that the Police were concerned about were all recovered, minus one gun. Anyways, the female undercover Police agent working at the pub got her cover blown with Aunt Polly threatening to kill her. Such interactions were a shiny silver dime Queeny side up a dozen, the coin of the realm in underground gangland England in the 1920s. 

One story is that there are three Shelby brothers, one intriguingly and curiously named John marries a prostitute, one is Thomas Shelby, the King of Kensington, I mean Peaky Blinders and one named Arthur Shelby lent money, a lot of money to his father who then outright ripped him off. Thomas Shelby hated the father from the start. The money was a third share that each of the three brothers had. One of the three musketeers lent money to his father. I heard of all for one and one for all but this is ridiculous. 

Charles Dickens father used to rip his son off for money. Anyways, Arthur Shelby does an A Man Named Otto stunt when he tries to kill himself but God deemed that was not his time and he survived. The second season presumably starts with Tom Shelby who is angry at his father for having absconded with the money. 

The second season is on next for me. I still haven't tried the app. That's life. The World War 1 airplane VR app I have is connected to the Peaky Blinders universe as a lot of the characters on that show had fought in World War One. 

Suicide baby, that's the way to do it, 

Get some heroin and get down to it. 

That's my poem. In my imagination, that poem won me the $100,000 Government of Canada prize for the worst poem ever written in Canadian history. 

Speaking of imagination, a ghost expert said the steps to train yourself to see ghosts is to imagine to the greatest detail in your minds eye just like daydreaming or visualizing a screenplay for a movie that hopefully Hollywood offers you lots of money for. 

The first couple of years it will be hit or miss, mostly miss. Some of the images could be very imaginative and poetic indeed. 

I have two such stories, purely imaginary but there was something to it, I think. A couple of weeks ago, I imagined what pose and where Heather would be in my room. I imagined just near the door and standing with her arms at her side just glaring at me very interestedly. I walked over to the door to play that out. I got the most sharpest case of goosebumps when I did that. 

Then yesterday I tried it again, I left my apartment room and as I was closing the door, I looked back at the chair where she used to sit. I imagined her with curly hair, very dark brown as if almost black and with eyes like a wild cat, like a leopard looking back at me lovingly as I smiled at her. That's a fanciful image. I doubt it's true but it shows that I am making attempts. 

I would have to ask an evidential medium how close I was. I might be surprised at the answer although I think the actual chance of that is about 1%. 

The medium Matt Fraser said, "When you were sitting on your bed crying, I got an image of her sitting with you on the bed. I get chills just saying that."

I often imagine Heather sitting on my bed leaning against the wall. When I stretch out my legs as I am sitting, she would rest one of her legs on top of mine as women do. This is my imagination although I don't know what the chances of that are. 

There are lots of pictures spanning across hundreds of years of ghosts standing just behind a person when a person is sitting resting one hand on the person's shoulder. 

Matt Fraser uses a kind of PT Barnum effect. Not intentionally as to be a charlatan because I don't think that he is a charlatan. He is genuine. What he does is a science. Therefore recurrent patterns will occur as enough repeating motifs will for a pattern in this case a pattern can be derived from repeating motifs. 

Psychics have said things, such as Susan Rowlen who said something like, "Your departed one says not to worry that you didn't spend enough time with them. That spirit says you walked the mile with them."

Matt Fraser said, "Don't worry about the times you didn't spend with the departed spirit. That spirit remembers all the times you put your life on hold to be with them." 

PT Barnum effect. Not that it isn't genuine but this case applies to me and probably to literally thousands if not millions of people around the planet. 

That's why it's called a science. It's like if you got a letter from some place about something or other. You notice there are underlines and your name happens to be there. It's a total form letter. That's why it's called a system. Lots of other people got that same letter. You wouldn't be the first nor the last, it being under a system. 

My life is humiliating. I am this intelligent and talented yet I am poor and on welfare. I think that I am a foil for less intelligent but more rich and successful people. 

Dennis Miller once said something cryptic, 

"Everyone says he is on another level. I say he is on a level below us. He can't even get the basic things that we can get."

The basic things meaning a wife, getting laid regularly, more than decent housing. 

My friend once said, "Doesn't it make you frustrated that people who aren't as smart as you are doing better than you?" 

Life lived under a dynamic or aegis of humiliation is no life to live at all. That's my argument for getting some heroin or fentanyl and dying of a heroin overdose. 

Could you blame me? If you were humiliated to the level that I am you'd probably think of a heroin overdose too. 

Lots of people already died of a heroine overdose. What's one more, meaning me, specifically. 

I wonder if Dennis Miller was referring to me. Either he was or he wasn't but even to think that means that I'm doomed. It means that I might need counselling. My brain has achieved the point of near complete collapse. 

But is getting married and starting a family always a sign of having gotten it together? 

"How much sharper than a serpents tooth is an ungrateful child?" King Lear

What about the people who wound up on the six o clock News for having done someone in? They were the children of parents who at one time thought they had it all together with a family and all. 

What about the poem which got me my imaginary $100,000 Canadian government prize for the worst poem in the Nation's history which I wrote? 

The News said that in 2050, 93% of men over a certain age will have cancer. 

Matt Fraser once said, "it's an Italian thing. When we hear of something happening to someone else, we think, "What if it happens to me? It's probably going to happen to me." 

It Could Happen To You, a Nicholas Cage movie about winning the lottery. 

Anyways if I ever get cancer I'd have to give it the old college try. In the midst of through the roof fear and panic attacks, try to beat it. If not then immediately get euthanized at the hospital. Remind myself, "It will be one weird and edgy day and at the time it will seem to last forever. At the time of anything, it seems to last forever, an airplane flight, seeing a movie, getting a tooth extracted. But once it's over you barely remember that it took any time at all especially years later. And then hopefully I'll be in the cat birds seat. I'd expect to see my friends and relatives who went on or at the very least I've trained myself in mind to expect a different time dynamic, the objective time dynamic of time travel, a free golden pass like in video games, visit any time and place in history as a fly on the wall choosing any vantage point at will. And a different holographic teleportational set of physics. No more worries about eating if not starving or money or sleeping or physical death. All that will be out the window. Let's do this and may God be with me."

Anyways, last stage cancer is quite profoundly wretched. A person turns into something that looks like a zombie from the walking dead. Doctors are very understanding and with their excellent bedside manner, never it is allowed to progress I mean degenerate to that point. People are done in with doctor prescribed euthanasia well before things get to that level. Think of the pill that NASA astronauts are given if things go wrong. The formula of such pills keep changing so whatever they were given 20 years ago was old school. I presume that the formula of today's NASA pills are new school. Quantum computer with a thousand Q-bits would have designed these pills. It's exponential. Computers work with base 2 so 1 Qbiit is 2 units of Q-power. 2 Q-bits have 4 times the power. 3 Q-bits have 8 times the power, not 3 times the power of one Q-bit. 

So think of what a thousand Q-bits can do. Google has such a quantum computer. 

Thursday, August 15, 2024

"I'm not going to lie to you but I kinda have a thing for these old bitches 98 years plus. That is, kinda...." Brodie TV, YouTube

One of my most major fantasies is to get it on with a lady who is old. I have some strange fetish for women who are old. I don't know if its the worst or the best fetish one can have. Ad absurdio. That's why I often wish I had gotten an early reprieve. One of thousands of reasons. 

Cliff: "That's the reason I don't have a girlfriend."

Carla: "That's one of thousands of reasons."

Cheers

Since a lady is old, chances are, she might be dead in the next five years or less. This sets up an entire thicket of death omens along the way that wouldn't be there if she wasn't so old. Unless there's something wrong with the young lady not consciously disclosed but then death omens are there. Rare but sometimes happens. 

If anyone is a member of the granny porn community they'd probably know Rob. He has nailed hundreds of grannies. A lot of fans of granny porn lived out their fantasies vicariously through Rob. Of course Rob is a proxy. I don't watch the video thinking, "That's a video of Rob getting it on with the granny." A kind of Walter Mitty phenomenon occurs where I'm thinking, "That's a video of me getting it on with a granny!" Me and a Viagra pill. Heather told me to never take Viagra. 

Rob kinda looks Jewish but what does a Jewish guy look like? They look like they're lucky with women. 

However, I imagine that Rob would be experiencing here and there a few death omens not shown in the videos. Owls, moths, strange television commercials that have to do with someone dying, funeral homes, etc. 

Someone who is scoring with grannies often would also be seeing that often. It's all wrapped up with the strange magic of the physics of this dimension. 

I saw a television show about hookers in Las Vegas and a Police woman said that there were female hookers over 60 years old. That's what I'm into women wjo are old and are hookers. I'd be willing to pay! 

A few days ago when I was walking on the beach, I saw an old lady with huge breasts. She was wearing a very low cut dress. She was almost naked, well, that's an exaggeration, but her clothing was skimpy. I melted into an ooze of lust. I watched her as she walked away. After a couple of minutes I decided to to see if I could ride past her on the skateboard to get another look. She walked in to her apartment building. I imagined that she is a lonely lady and she went home to masturbate. Who knows? She might not be lonely. She might even be an old escort lady. 

The ideal of some kind of porn fantasy. The reality is getting to know any woman involves mutual word salads and hanging on words. What things me and her have in common or not. She's my type but am I her type? 

I don't know if I'll ever meet any ladies who are old. There is always some kind of hope for the future. There are lots of good things in my life that happened to me that I never thought would happen. 

If I haven't met any ladies who are old, and have a nice body that's because I'm in the wrong town. Such things happen quicker in other towns. People travel according to their temperament. Some places have so little of what they like and other places have so much of what they like. I'd move to another town if I thought I could meet lots of ladies who are old and want a relationship based on mutual respect and one where in all likelihood, once it gets past a certain point, I'd be doting on her all the time. "Oh beautiful lady." 

Shakespeare used to say, "O mistress mine." He had a way with words. 

I think I might be in the wrong town. Or even wrong country. Wrong dimension. That's why I sometimes wish my life had ended. Not through suicide but just. Somehow. 

Then I wouldn't have this tawdry set of worries that I have today that completely has to do with this dimension. 

"He has chains all around his soul

And he thinks he's seen the light."

Down By The Henry Moore, Murray McLaughlin

"You say you lost your faith

But that's not where it's at 

You had no faith to lose 

And you kkow it."

Positively 4th Street, Bob Dylan 

I also like watching videos of the young women that Old Mireck gets, or got to score with. His real name is Dan. 

Old Mireck could barely speak English yet he scores with the most white hot beautiful young women. It's not rocket science. It's money, young East European drug addict hookers in a land where the table is slanted in the favor of richer Western nations and Russian mafia protection. 

Old Mireck is strange. Spend enough years with nothing better to do and then stunble on some weird video where Old Mireck is in a room with... guys. Either he's bisexuality or autistic. 

John Holmes once did a video with a guy. 

That's either sad or hilarious. It probably turns women on. I've heard women say that it turns them on just a bit. 

When I see a video of two women uh, doing a guy and then the two women kiss. That's thrilling! 

But only in small doses. I'm not sure that I'd want to watch an entire lesbian video. Not a priority. 

Eugene Levy once said in an SCTV skit that he was into women of all ages. Young ladies, but not too young and old ladies. A lady over 60 is nice although that kind of thing probably works better in Europe. 

He said that and I agree. 

I wish I could see my entire future on Earth. If I could then I would decide whether or not it's worth living. If I saw that it wasn't then I'd definitely end my life. The worst thing is to be sucked in to going on living and then it turns out that life sucked. Since I spent years in the wrong town and not the right town, I didn't score with too many if any grannies. 

It's a gamble for sure. I certainly wouldn't want to stick around for a life like that because it'd be worth nothing to me. If I saw that for sure, I wouldn't care about anything else. I'd just end my life with a heroine overdose. 

I was on the topic of islands earlier. I'm not going to shoehorn the next bit into that because it would overload the paragraph. Off the top of my head, Japan has four main islands, Hokkaido, Kyushu, Shikoku and Honshu. There is another island, Okinawa, Osaka, it starts with an O. Tokyo is on Hokkaido Island. 

Anyways before I said there are islands that are a Nation or part of a Nation like Japan and Vancouver Island. 

Japan isn't an island. It's a collection of islands, an archipelago of possibly hundreds of Island if you count the little ones. 

Mille Ille. Thousand Island. Dressing. 

The Philippines is a archipelago of 7,000 islands! 

Tokyo looks very modern and is one of the towns in this world that is not a backwater. 

It's an expensive city but there are ways to economize like staying at a pod hotel but don't expect to play AR or MR augmented reality or mixed reality games in a pod hotel. 

Tokyo would have some Catholic charities which is good for free meals etc. 

I can't grow a beard. I only get weird stubble and even then I only got that a few years ago. I'm 54 years old. I once heard someone say, "He just entered puberty." He was talking about someone else. Hopefully. 

I can use Rogaine aka minoxidil on my cheeks. If you get any of that chemical in your hands, then hair will grow all over your hands too including the front of thehe fingers and on the palms too so be careful. 

The British navy won't accept someone who can't grow a beard and even then the beard must be appropriately trimmed. 

Prince William grows a nice beard. When I saw that I got really depressed about myself that I can't grow a beard. It was then that my thoughts turned towards my mother and how she should have aborted me. But does that mean that even while as a patient in the maternity ward that she was expected to perform her own abortion with no previous experience since I am her first and as it turned out only child. It would depend on what Province she was in and what type of medical coverage she had so she very well could have been is what I'm saying. 

Minoxidil costs anywhere from $50 - $100 a bottle and you have to use it for life. Once a person stops using it for 6 months, the beard will no longer keep growing once the hair is shaved off and any hair that is there might just shed spontaneously leading to a minoxidil deprived alopecia. 

Should I get minoxidil or not? Give me a sign. 

There is a roll on at Shoppers Drug Mart that costs $42. It gets rid of bags under the eyes. Plexaderm is supposed to be able to do that. 

A Rogers cable ad said in not so many words that mayonnaise is the low budget life hack beauty tip for getting rid of bags under the eyes. 

The ad showed a lady about to give a beauty secret to bags under the eyes. Just as she was about the reveal the jar of mayonnaise, the video froze. The ad said, tired of interruptions, switch to Rogers cable. 

I use Rogers cable. I used to use Shaw cable but Rogers acquired it in a non-hostile takeover. 

Two days ago, I was playing Dead Second. There was a wall in the game to my left that I was using for cover. I actually leaned against that wall or attempted to. Guess what happened? I fell landing on my tailbone. It has been really hurting for two days. The pain hasn't gone away. It is receding but slowly. 

The News said 5 people including 2 doctors were charged in Matthew Perry's death. They were charged in a criminal network that pushed $55,000 worth of ketamine to Matthew Perry. That's unbelievable. $55 thousand dollars worth of any drug even cannabis or even sugar which is a drug will kill someone. Heck any drug even $1,000 worth even cannabis. Tell anyone to do it all at once fast. Guess what? They're dead. 

What is this, Doctor Evazan of Star Wars? There is a television series called Dr Death. I never watched that. 

The News said the doctor is involved in a criminal network although that's what the cynical would say about hospitals in general anyways. 

That's sinister. The word sinister comes from the Latin word for left as in left hand which some cultures thought was evil. 

That doctor should be executed for having taken part in something that claimed the life of a good actor. 

Is ketamine also known as bath salts? I heard of K-holing which is a jugular intravenous injection of ketamine. 

This sounds like something from an Agatha Christie novel. 

Friday, August 16, 2024

After the Fall. On sale. Great zombie shooter VR app. Plus add on. 

As good as Arizona Sunshine which is good. Free trial. I usually turn off and uninstall free trials with lots of minutes left. I played and played and decided this one is good and at 1 minute left, I bought this app. Usual price $35, on sale for $14. Add on includes a winter mission, more weapons and 1 more mode. 

Months ago it was sold with Arizona Sunshine as a bundle. It was pricier then. 

What the heck. Today I plopped down less than $6.50 for a VR game called Pirates on Deck. There's bars in town where you couldn't get a beer for $6.50 so it's not that pricey. 

Well, the story is I tried to see if Space Pirate Trainer Demo was still available on applablist games. It was just a few months ago. Free. That way I get to try and have SPT for free. 

It's available now on sale for $18 regular price $29. 

Pros. It looks interesting. Stationary shooter. Tron vibes. I want to talk about Tron again in a minute. Not the motion sickness smooth motion, a station to station teleportation. 

Cons. Shooting flying robot drones is whatever. It's more fun shooting zombies or armed opponents. Many reviews say it won't work. It's kind of a mixed reality and often the room isn't what the app is looking for in terms of setting up. And there's a setting up your own walls component. What is this. Zoo Tycoon? 

I won't get it. It certainly does not top Crisis Brigade 2 VR. Not even close. 

Tron. After The Fall VR. In the Skid Row level, spoiler alert. Look away if you don't want a  spoiler. On this level, the player gets to visit Flynn's Arcade from the movie Tron in VR. Unfortunately it's completely wrecked and could be saturated with zombies if you have it set to Difficult rather than Easy. This game is worth the money. I loved it the first time I played it on the free trial. 

Apps that are confident that people will like their user friendly spectacular gameplay will offer their app for free knowing it will increase the chances of it being bought just because. 

Apps that know that people probably won't get their app after they try it won't offer a free trial. I've tried some games and I didn't like the gimmicky gameplay and some things were just ridiculous or annoying so I didnt get the app. 

Pirates on Deck is an instantly likeable stationary shooter. It's all the things one is looking for in Space Pirate Trainer without any of the extraneous aspects. 

I am intensely and profoundly afraid of the future. I am afraid of the iteration of the future that is enmeshed with the physics and the time dynamic of this dimension all of which becomes a completely different iteration in the afterlife in terms of time dynamic and set of physics. 

I don't know if I can or even want to deal with the future. 

I am always wanting to quit life and be with Heather in the afterlife. 

If I find a girlfriend in the future, what if I do something or she does something that is a mistake in the relationship? I might be single for life. Or I find a girlfriend but she's a trap in some way. Short term, fun times. Long term, a tedious relationship. 

Either single or with the wrong girlfriend either is a life full of fear, anxiety and regret. 

That's why I want to quit life. I don't see that I have any kind of future that would be worth living. 

I won't quit life. I will leave that to God. But if it were up to me, life is a college that I really want to drop out of. 

Battle of Nowhere VR. You got to be joking me. $6.50. After playing the free trial, how could I, how would I not get it? Price point, very reasonable, not pricey. Gameplay, genius, to the level of profound. 

Battle of Nowhere. BON I think that makes ans good, in French. 

Nowhere. Samuel Butler, Erehwon, nowhere spelt backwards. Bandkok Thailand, Erehwon Buddha. When the original language of something is written in another script, you can transliterste it with any English spelling. In this case nowhere spelt backwards implies that the Buddha nature, the bodhicitta is nowhere and everywhere all at once. 

I got hooked. What happened is that I specifically punched in the word free. 

Visiting the meta VR app store for me is like a chocaholic visiting Willy Wonkas chocolate factory.  I specifically punched in the words free shooter and free zombie. 

Even doing that opens a slippery slope rabbit hole to possible future credit card transactions. Now I'm on the hook for a further $6.50.

A lot of English novelists wrote journals that were published and they are full of incidents like went to the tea shop today, had tea and a scone for £2 75s. Etc. £sd, pounds shillings pence. I don't think pence is used anymore. Similar to the Canadian and American penny and the Thai satang. 

I'm still going to search free zombie and free shooter often on the store because heck, I discovered some new and flashy apps that weren't there a month ago and free. And the quality is catching up to paid apps. 

VR app developers are a rising trade because owning VR apps isn't like owning a bunch of computer games on a flat screen. It is like owning your own theme park that you can visit anytime. It is common for people to own more than $1,000 worth of apps from the meta Quest store. 

Best search terms for me are free shooter and free zombie. That's the best kind of VR app. Free Travel and free space are good search terms if you like National Geographic and NASA. I got a chance to visit some moons off of Saturn and Jupiter too. And I also went on the 1969 Apollo mission. I felt out of place wearing a t shirt, shorts and flip flops wearing the VR goggles as I was standing next to two fully suited and kitted out military trained astronauts from the United States in a 1960s style Lunar module in VR. 

What the crap. Alien Rogue Incursion will be released in mid December but you can pay for it now for $55 plus tax. 

And Arizona Sunshine Redeveloped available in mid October is being sold now for $37 plus tax. 

First it was sell video game hardware and media namely cartridges and discs for money. 

Then it was sell a radio signal, an electronic impulse, an AI generated press of a button but at least you got your video game or app at time of purchase. The profit margin is larger because of no plastic ware. 

Now it's like pay now and you don't even get your radio signal or massive electronic blip right away but you have to wait a few months later. 

Why charge so soon in advance? It's nof as if it could sell out, it's a radio signal one is paying for. Why get it now? In case you forget to get it in four months? 

Usually normal drug deals are done like, score and get the drugs now or very quickly soon after. It's never score and then wait a few days. This is like score and wait a few months. 

The way I've seen how so many apps are handled and facilitated like lots of AR apps not working and / or then customers not being able to get a refund, if this was the regular typical private sector or in any other marketplace they'd be out of business. 

Don't get Epic Fun roller coaster if you don't own an Oculus Rift. If you own Meta Quest and didn't read the fine print, you absolutely won't get a refund. They get the money, you get nothing. That's the deal. That's how they run a business. 

There is no regulatory oversight or quality control. No regulations are VR apps. It's still the wild west where anyone and anything can get in on the ground floor. 

I'm amazed at how some people are able to watch a movie or play a video game a few weeks before the release date. These are special people or app testers or movie reviewers, paid film critics. 

There's no f'in way I'm paying for an app and pricey expensive apps too a few months in advance. Wait a year. The app will probably be on sale as newer and better apps eclipse it. After The Fall was previously sold for $38 plus tax. I got it for $14 plus tax. If no one gets the app pre sale and even for some time after its released, it might be on sale sooner than you would expect. Especially if the app gets complaints. 

Some want a sequel to Alien Isolation where one tries to hide from the Alien as long as possible making it more mysterious and more of a serious drama arthouse production rather than Alien Rogue Incursion which promises to be a look for as many aliens as you can and kill as many of them as soon as you can. Nothing subtle or reticent about this one. Reviewers and fans are fickle. They'll either like it or not. Hot or not. 

Fawesome. The new Tubi. No sign up. No subscription. Just watch premium movies free. 

I just saw three VR apps that I have to get 

1. Propagation. Everyone on reviews even the one star reviews said this was the best looking graphics wise zombie shooter game of them all. I saw the YouTube gameplay video. Graphics look searingly hot. And it's on sale for 50% off. $17

Bad reviews say it ends too soon and there is a possibility of running out of bullets. One reviewer said they saw just 4 zombies in 3 hours. Bull. The YouTube video clearly had way more than 3 zombies. I'mma gettin' it! $13.50 

2. My Town Zombie. Korean developer. Train from Busan vibes saturated throughout. Graphics look smokingly hot. 

3. Space Shooter VR. Hot graphics. Mesmerizing worlds. $7

To save some money, I won't get Space Shooter. Holy smokes. Just moves side to side, no ip and down. Shoots. Only two worlds. Space and Snow world. Very repetitive. It lists for about $5.79 so don't expect Rage of Revengeance or anything like that.  No get. Save money whenever possible. There's lots of better free games. 

I'll just ring it up on my credit card and pay it in a few days. 

There's a National Geographic app that looks interesting but I won't get it. There are only 2 worlds. Antarctica and Machu Picchu. No shooter or shooting. No wandering. No teleporting. Just stay in one place as the app guides you. Reviewers said it was kinda limited. 

I wonder if my VR app addiction will ever stop. What if I have this for life? Would I not be dead than to be addicted to costly things? 

Anxiety happens when one can't stop doing something that feels bad and is in some ways bad for them. Smoking, costs money and unhealthy. Caregiver, can't stop caring for someone even caring for them would ruin your mental and even physical health. Gambling, lost wages. 

All those anxiety things are questionable hedonistic at best. 

Whereas VR apps will lead to being broke but it is sheer hedonism and enjoyment. There is a long term aspect in that the purchases are not ephemeral. These apps are going to be with me for some years. Quite a few years. 

I predict that in 20 years, VR apps can be downloaded on an iso that can be downloaded. Then extracted. And it will be the paid for games of today although looking extremely sharp in some cases will look crude and primitive in 20 years. 

Propagation. Everyone in reviews was raving about it. Even 1 star reviews. 

It's not your traditional thrown in the deep fryer right away wild West rootin tootin shooter. It's a slow burn. More exploration and mystery. I'd usually uninstall and ask for a refund because of the gameplay but the graphics are off the scale. Best graphics of any zombie VR game. Better than walking dead. More photo realistic but something just terrifying about walking around in that hotel. Play if you have a couple of hours to spare. 

First there is a preamble story that the player takes part in. The player is the character personna of a young lady and there is a security guard who is with her. 

She is taught to use a gun. Then is at the point where the famous lobby seen in the promotion posters of this app. This is a save point. So far not much zombies at all. I'm not even armed at this point yet. Weird game. I'd ask for a refund except for the graphics and it looks like it might pick up. 

This one was worth the money especially on sale at a discount. 

My Town Zombie was released in 2018 in Korea and it does have that 2018 graphics look. Rock show dynamite runs on all 8 cylinders. Excellent. Well worth the money and most  recommended. 

Why watch the movie Train to Busan when you can experience it in VR? 

Saturday, August 17, 2024

I swept the sidewalks, store fronts. It's my way of giving back. "But you're not doing it for money." I do it for free because the government has already been more than kind to me. The economic support from the government has allowed me to acquire a collection of VR apps that I could not have even imagined a few months ago. 

Ride the roller coaster as a gun shooter, hunt some zombies like the walking dead, go on a Police mission to singlehandedly wipe out a nest of gangsters. Do they usually send just one Police Officer to do that or is it usually a team? Travel to outer space with NASA, visit distant worlds, all of them backwater worlds but very scenic and beautiful. Ride a ground motorcycle, ride a futuristic flying motorcycle. All this can be done in VR. 

Why would I not be more than grateful for this and do some work to give back to the city which is an extension of the Province which is an extension of the Nation. 

I swept the sidewalks because on the News I heard of people who did these random sprees of vandalism, breaking store windows. Doing something bad. It will probably catch up with them and what would it look like? 

I sweep the sidewalks because I want to do a random spree of doing something like sweeping an area with a broom really well. I try to get that area clean to another level. Get the dirt out of the edges where the building meets the sidewalk and even sweep out the sidewalk cracks of dirt. That makes the place look more like if was brand new. The heavenly vibration free of dust. I don't know if it will catch up to me and what that would look like. It has caught up to me. I am often finding nice things on the street. I sometimes wonder if agents with their precision knew I'd walk there and they placed that thing there for me. This often happens days after. I pick up a large garbage bag from the middle of the road where cars travel on and then a couple of days later I find something interesting and nice on the street. 

I don't know how long I'll be doing this. It's very therapeutic. I would otherwise feel kind of guilty or spoiled for getting so many VR apps that the government paid for and not doing anything to give back to society somehow. Sweeping the streets and the sidewalks is a very direct way to give back. 

Clean streets creates a wave effect that ripples out. Stephen King said, "Clouds condense around small particles." If a street is dirty and never ever swept that encourages the dissolute to loiter about. If the streets are clean it decreases that overall and brings a more cleaner more disciplined kind of street people overall. The streets of Europe are very clean and well swept especially in the tourist areas. 

I swept the area around the Royal Bank today. I didn't have to but I saw there was lots of rubbish strewn about. 

Panhandlers do nothing and ask for money. I do something, sweep the sidewalks and don't ask for money. That's because the government has already given me money and I want to show my thanks and appreciation. 

I plopped down $37 for Battle of Nowhere, My Town Zombie and Propagation. I sincerely hope that the game picks up. Otherwise it's wandering some very scary and very well done graphics. The thing to do is to read the written walkthrough. Seeing a video is too much of a giveaway spoiler. 

I measure my addictions and compulsions in monthly phases. So if I screwed up last month, I won't screw up this month. A month is registered from one welfare day to another. That is a month, a welfare month which is distinct from a lunar month. 

Peaky Blinders is really good. All the actors and actresses on the show are geniuses. 

In Season 2, the Police shot Sabini's hand or else the gun the hand was holding as he was about to shoot Tom Shelby. That's tradecraft. Police sharpshooters are trained to aim for the hand. 

The actor Sam Neill who was Alan Grant on Jurassic Park. What a dynamite actor. He's the very dangerous Police Commissioner. A completely different character than Alan Grant. Alan Grant was soft spoken and gentle. In Peaky Blinders, he's a very dangerous character. Of course it's all method acting and getting paid to remember and recite what is written on the script as if he was saying just any old thing. But you can't just say any old thing when you're on point doing a scene in a movie, can you? Otherwise, it's, "I got to check my text messages on my cell phone." "What text messages? What cell phones? It's supposed to be 1920." "It depenends on whose calendar you're working with."

On the show, he said to Tom Shelby, "If I don't find those guns before I retire next month. I'll see to it that each and every member of your family is brutally killed with shovels. I'm a wild animal and my fury knows no bounds." 

Now anyone else would have been scared witless. But Tom Shelby was a killer himself. Tom Shelby is always calm. Years ago I watched some videos on YouTube from uploader CharismaOnCommand. He said that when you are calm, and he used Tom Shelby specifically as an example, you have the upper hand. If you lose your sh*t, you show that you are triggered, that this is a sore spot, an Achilles heel. When you remain calm, you are wearing the hat rather than the hat wearing you. 

Arthur Shelby started using the hoon on season 2. The disco dust. Now he was already suicidally depressed before he started using it. From experience, when one comes down from the marching powder, they get even more depressed than they were before they started. There is a brief phase of that. Which means that he could be even more suicidally depressed afterwards. Or not. He knows he could always use more snow bumps. 

Tom Shelby warned him to only use it once a week because using too much can burn a person out. Tom Shelby knew as soon as he walked in the pub and saw. That Arthur was on something. 

My Town Zombie turned out to be a disappointment. You get on the train, too many zombies too fast. Gun never reloads fast enough. Only single player mode. No extras at all. No frills. 

Battle to Nowhere. Street level. If you complete even one wave, you get two more levels. Street level Endless and Tunnel levels regular. The tunnel level is impossible to get through even one level so there you are but what do you expect for $5.

Through observation, the cheaper graphics cheaper games only have shooting. Whereas the more pricier and much nicer graphics games usually always have some escape room endless looking for this item or that item as much as if not more than point and shoot. 

One can almost draw up a comparative graph based on this. The chance of a zombie point and shoot VR app would have escape room elements is directly proportional to the price. I think Aliens Rogue Incursion with its heavy price tag will have escape room elements.

If it's pricey and attached to a franchise, a VR app is gunna have escape roomist elements and lots of wandering around and looking for this and that because it gives the app depth and complexity. 

A critic might say, "Similarly just like my c*ck in your m*ther's v*gina also gives it depth and complexity but that doesn't do anything for you as a player, does it?" 

Why sell a product that wouldn't be sold out anyways because its a radio signal be sold four months in advance? Score and wait four months? What kind of drug deal, I mean VR app POS transaction is that? I'll tell you why. VR apps are a multi billion dollar a year industry. Presale conservative estimates are at least a million dollars worth of preorders. I think that interest is 8% a year in a savings account. One year of interest on a mill is $80,000. That's around $7,000 a month as $7,000 times 12 is $84,000.

So four months of interest on a million dollars of presales is $28,000. That's not bad money for generating nothing at all. Nothing. You don't even get the radio signals for the app. This is obviously their own money laundering scam as many companies operate on a hybrid model. I don't mean the government funding along with free enterprise sales model. I'm talking about that in their role as a public sector entity set themselves up as a registered charity like McDonald's does with RM House. They become their own tax shelter. And then in their other role as a private sector entity, set up some money laundering scam. Presales of apps is a very excellent vector of money laundering. Nebulous as hell. It doesn't even require evidence that the consumer got the product. 

Four months was about how long it took in the 1800s if you were to order something from Europe and you were living in California. It would take a month and a half just to get to England overland on horse drawn mail stagecoach e's and then overseas on a steam boat that went about 15 miles or 17 lots an hour. And then half a month to process the order and two months from Europe all the way to California. Why go in a time machine back to the 1800s to experience the magic of snail mail when you can preorder a high falutin Aliens Incursion and also Arizona Sunshine Rebooted VR app on the VR app store and then bask in exquisite impatience as you wait four months for the thing to arrive. 

Holy crap. The News said an airline offers an annual pass for $1,500 a year. I looked online and a few airlines offer that. Frontier airlines offers a $150 monthly pass. Their flight destinations are only in the contiguous United States. But think of it. For $150 plus any minimal service charges and baggage storage, fly as often as you want for a much reduced price. Frontier flies to Texas. Fort Worth. I wonder if that's far from Houston because that's where Joel Osteen's Lakewood Church is. 

Aaargh! Peaky Blinders Season 2 is freezing on all movie sites. It would get to some point and then freeze. How was I able to watch all those other episodes without it freezing? 

It's not rocket science. 

Since it freezes on all free movie sites, the time of day, the afternoon is very popular for watching movies. At night a lot of people go out. Movies use a lot of bandwidth. Watching movies at less popular and busy times decreases the chances of it freezing. 

YouTube videos don't freeze but YouTube has a very powerful computer infrastructure unlike the free movie sites which is all right but certainly not on the level of YouTube. 

I already watched almost half the episodes of season 2. There's no way I'm paying for season 2 on YouTube if I already watched half the episodes. That way I could watch the show without it freezing. But all the other remaining seasons aren't available on YouTube. Only season 1 or two is available. YouTube charges $22. 

The other option is to get a Netflix account for $30 a month which has all five seasons. I can binge watch 5 seasons in less than a month and then cancel the subscription. The subscription price might be as low as $15 a month. 

I still haven't tried the app yet because I don't know why. I want to watch more of the show so I can understand it more and then get that much more fully into the app. 

The plot of the VR app is the government has hired Tom Shelby and you as the player on the app on a government mission to recover a lost crate of expensive liquor. Did I get a point on the trivia quiz for that, or not? Whether or not it's liquor its a mission to look for something. This involves getting past some criminal henchmen. 

I guess during the Prohibition era of 1920 - 1933 an expensive crate of liquor would be that much more expensive and an illegal substance as well. But does that mean that Prohibition also happened in England? Uh, no. It only happened States side. 

It wouldn't involve evading the Police. Why would one have to evade the Police if the government hired them on a mission? 

Got Nat Geo VR for less than $8 including tax. A trip to Antarctica to see the Emperor penguins. I did a cartoon of that. 

And a trip to a pyramid of Mexico. I like ancient pyramids. And the price is very reasonable, on sale from $13.50 including tax. 

Nat Geo. Antarctica. Well worth the money. Kayak and then climb a glacier. Spectacular. Very very intense and good. I loved every second of the Antarctica trip. This surpassed my expectations. I got spoilered when I saw the YouTube video of this when the player discovered the realm of the Emperor penguins. I would have liked that to have been a surprise but the dynamic is, that had I not seen that, I wouldn't have purchased the app as that's what's called a clincher. 

VR has a long way to go. A lot of the scenes, furniture, utensils, books, etc look like they are made out of brightly painted cardboard. VR now is like television in the 1920s. It looked cutting edge but they were really in the pioneer days which is one step before the early days. VR. A lot of the scenes are just magnified and blown up 16 bit images. That's when they're slacking off. The best 2D games still look a lot sharper and better than the best VR games. There is a bigger market and more annual revenue from 2D games. VR games offer another dimension of difficulty to design. And 2D games can be rendered on Sony OLED, LGTV's Nano technology and Samsung's QLED screens which look a lot sharper than even the most expensive VR goggles and at a fraction of the price. 

VR games are still pricey because this sensational technology is new and the novelty hasn't yet worn off. As the years go on, better and cheaper. One will get better games for cheaper because the competition will be so vast. 

There is a museum downstairs from where I live that has lots of old radios, I mean from the 1920s and 1930s. I'm going to ask the employee if they ever heard of The Mysterious Traveler? It's an old radio show. Mystery stories. Everyone who ever had anything at all to do with the show is probably dead now. This radio show started airing about 75 years ago! I like old radios. They have a vacuum tube. You turn it on, hear an electric click, there is always a delay and then slowly and softly the sound comes on and the volume quickly raises to the preset volume. I love that. Such an effect can be replicated through an app so that every time I turn on the radio on a radio station, website, I'll get that slight click and the slight delay of the vacuum tube radio. I'd like to find an app like that! 

Sunday, August 18, 2024

Got more VR apps. The addiction shows no sign of ending. 

I got 

Trash Gun $2.50 - a cheaper version of Space Pirate Trainer DX

Gun Spinning $3.50 ultra realistic zombie shooter similar to Battle of Nowhere but with sharper graphics. 

Space Shooter $5.50 One level is like flying the Rebel snow speeder on Hoth in Empire Strikes Back. 

Prices approximate. It came to $12 which is what I plopped down. 

Today I still thought a lot about quitting life altogether. Send God a resignation letter. 

Dear God. I want to quit life altogether. Yours truly. 

I want to be with Heather in the afterlife. I feel that where ever she goes I must be there to look after her. Heather I wish I was with you. I'd quit life in a second to be with you if it were up to me. 

I was wondering if it would work better in the dreamworld since the dreamworld is subconscious and God works more directly on the subconscious. 

I do remember that in at least one dream I said that I want to just give up on life altogether but nothing happened. I wasn't able to quit life. 

The answers I came up with were unique and a lot of people never came up with those answers. I think those answers have earned me an early reprieve should I want one. For some reason the option of an early reprieve is being with held from me. 

I have to think of getting a heroine overdose if I want an early reprieve from this wretched dimension. I don't think that I can go on living in this dimension anymore. 

Heather. I can't do it without you, Beebs. I'm not sure that I'd even want to try. I love you more than I love life itself. If it was up to me, I'd give up my life in a second to be with you and the exquisite physics that you are experiencing. I hope that you know this, Heather. 

Every time I ever spent months thinking about leaving a town, a group, whatever and when I finally did it I was always glad that I did it. Never have I looked back and regretted my decision. I really really really really really really really really really really really really want to quit life. 

I would be willing to die of a heroin overdose to achieve this because I really really want to quit life. 

I've solved the puzzle. I shouldn't be required to stick around against my will. 

Time travel is time experienced on an objective level and the next dimension has a different holographic set of physics apart from this physical dimension. 

That is it summarized. I came up with a lot more answers. These answers should be good enough to earn me an early reprieve. Heather got an early reprieve. I don't think it's right that she got an early reprieve and I didn't. I'm still stuck with the sluggish primitive physics of this dimension while Heather enjoys a more more refined and exponential quantum set of physics. 

I was wondering if God would grant me an early reprieve in consideration of the good things that I've done and the answers I've come up with. I beseech God to grant me an early reprieve. 

If I end this life with a heroin overdose, when I see Heather in the afterlife, she might not be entirely happy to see me. It might be tinged with some sadness. She might say, "It was not your time. You should have lived out your entire life."

I would say, "Why the hell should I have done that? I just didn't see that I had any kind of future that was worth living. Housing crisis? Uh, no thanks. I've come up with a lot of profound answers I never heard anywhere else. Life just wasn't working out for me. I'd much rather be with you here in the afterlife than to have lived life on Earth under the duress of that egregious set of physics and that time dynamic too was no picnic. Inferior illusory time dynamic. How come then, you got an early reprieve and I didn't. So I set up an early reprieve for myself. Because I could not stop for death, death kindly stopped for me." 

That's the shtick. Spirits in the afterlife presumably prefer that one lives out their entire life. In my case, for myself, I don't understand that. I resent being forced to live an existence under a certain set of physics and time dynamic against my will. 

The only choice I have is a heroin overdose because I have the audacity and the initiative and the moxie to show life what I really think of it. 

Therefore I admire all those in the past who died of a heroin overdose. I more or less want to do that too. 

Better a wanted death than an unwanted life, in my case. 

I hope that God grants me an early reprieve. 

I might not be long for this world. 

"To love that which thou must leave 'ere long."  Shakespeare

Today I got two Vietnamese salad rolls with ham and shrimp for $11. Come to think of it, it just occurred to me that the last episode of Peaky Blinders I watched, Season 2, episode 3. Aunt Polly was preparing her son some sandwiches made with ham and shrimp. 

I think I'm doomed. I don't see that I have any kind of a future. The words 'my future' are an oxymoron as I have no future so why not just give up on life altogether? 

I visited Macchu Pizzu this morning via the Nat Geo VR app. I previously thought that only the Antarctica one was good and the macchu pizzu one was going to be all right. I drank some coca leaf tea to get into the local spirit. The macchu pizzu visit was awesome. Really awesome. Spoiler, it shows how it was when it was up and running a few hundred years ago. I was underwhelmed. I thought I'd see something that was multi colorful with all kinds of paintings and frescos. Nope. The only difference is all the stone houses had low tech roofs made of straw. There are rough stone and smooth stone houses. The masonry was very advanced as they didn't believe in using mortar for their bricks which is why it withstood hundreds of years of local earthquakes and tremors. 1. They drank coca leaf tea. 2. They were good architects. 3. Everyone knows that cocaine is an architects drug. Using a little in moderation and balance can help one be a better architect. One just has to get past the depression al mood swings that coca erythroxylon is known for.

It was well worth the $8. 

The premise of suicide as a crime through a legal perspective is something that is full of legal loopholes. It is interesting in the way that if one doesn't say anything to anyone about their plan, one can't be arrested before a crime is committed and nothing can be done after the fact. You're basically Scott free. 

There's no coming back from suicide. Remember the decision is irreversible. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

A person ultimately decides for themself whether life is worth living or not. People have ultimately decided for themselves whether or not life is worth living and a lot of them have rightly or not, deemed it not worth living. In some cases, life isn't worth living. 

For me. My will to live whatever it is, it certainly isn't 100%. I wouldn't mind getting an early reprieve. 

Island living is whatever it is. Someone on YouTube comments about 15 years ago said of Victoria. "I've lived there ten years and not made many if any friends."

There's the slow insular pace of life that island life is known for. 

People who live in a mainland feel that they got their finger on the pulse of and connected to something that is geographically portentous and significant. 

There are only two island cities that are not backwater and they are London and Tokyo. Every other city on every island in the world including Breat Britain and Hokkaido is a backwater. All island living in the world is backwater living. This town I am living in is certainly a backwater. Even Vancouver is certainly a backwater next to let's face it, London, New York and LA let alone Victoria BC which is as backwater as hell. 

On the Provincial mainland, about 66% of food is imported. On Vancouver Island, 90% of food is imported. 

Living in a small town is one thing. Living on an island is another thing especially for hard core mainlanders. But put them together and you got another level of backwater.

Which is why I find it baffling that purported boatloads of immigrants from a mainland and most would statistically be from large cities would all of a sudden be seeking out a life in a small town in England.

I hope that God grants me an early reprieve. I'd rather have an early reprieve than to live a long life on a boring island. Longevity is over rated and it isn't any kind of priority for me at all. 

Update: Friday, August 23, 2024: A person has to go on living because a life of even 80 years passes in the blink of an eye. Ask any old person. "Yeah, it went pretty fast."  That makes suicide redundant and completely unnecessary. 

Suicide is a form of homicide. Homicide of self. You want that? 

Suicide leaves a ripple effect in the interdimensional framework that last not just for one day but for a very very long time. Spirits in the afterlife with heave a deep discontented sigh and say, it would have been better for you had you stayed alive and in this dimension there is intense trauma and a unsettling thoughts. It's one thing if a person does themself in if they had a painful medical illness, but a person in otherwise full health?! Know right from wrong. Suicide is wrong. 

In some ways it's a lot more difficult to move to the afterlife than it is to go on living because of the annoying death event but once I am in the afterlife, from then on life would be much much easier than living on in this dimension. 

I wonder if the hospital would euthanize anyone who asked and even spur them on, "Don't worry. You're doing the right thing. Lots of other people have done it. Whether you want to operate in this dimension or not, either choice is fine and it's up to you. It's in the teachings."

There are some people in the World of whom I would say that I'd rather be dead than to see them ever again which isn't saying much because I'd rather be dead and in the glorious afterlife right now, in general, anyways. 

If you do something that for whatever the hell reason seemed like a good idea at the time, your conscious kinda feels good, but your subconsciously hates it. 

Once you stop going to that thing or stop interacting with that person, your conscious feels bad because you are reeling from and regretting those times you wasted but your subconscious feels really good because you honestly genuinely haven't had any recent memories of being there for quite awhile. 

This is what you get when you go from weird feels normal to normal feels weird. It's a sign that things have gotten better. 

The list includes culty cults full of squares with whom I have nothing in common and narcissist gas-lighters of whom I reflect that, if they ever died I wouldn't grieve for them nearly as much as I grieved for Heather, if at all. 

Once I stopped visiting them for awhile, I feel a lot better. 

That's why I want an early reprieve. Once I get the early reprieve, from then on, I'd be feeling a lot better like I would after any time I decided to quit going to some place and then actually quit it. 

Realistically, there is about a 1% chance that God would actually grant me an early reprieve but that's better than a zero percent chance. 

I wish I had enough heroin so I could give myself an early reprieve on any given day. One gram would be enough to do it. I don't want to go on living in this dimension. God, why couldn't you give me an early reprieve in light of the suffering I endured and the good things and insights that I brought to the world and then getting another and worse kind of energy in return. God, you have given others an early reprieve especially those who wanted it in the forum of a heroin overdose. They would have scored the winning lottery ticket of onterdimensjonal existence which is a reprieve from this dimension that they wanted for so long. I want God to grant me an early reprieve. Quickly and painlessly. I'd accept painfully as long as it's quick. 

I don't think I can or even want to try to make it without Beebs and a housing crisis? Why the hell should I go on living in this dimension? 

I'd say this World, but since people have gone into space and all kinds of satellites have visited every moon and planet in this solar system and even went beyond the solar system, this World isn't an exclusive purview anymore, is it. This whole dimension is something I'd be all too glad to be away from. Be with Beebs again! 

Space Atlas VR is free and better than the paid app Astra where you land on the moons of Jupiter and Saturn. Space AAtlas VR, one can visit the surface of a lot of planets, more than Astra and with mission extras. 

Opinions. 

Gun Spinner VR. Rich scenes full of vibrant color. Zombie attacks are strange. So strange that a lot of free apps like HAX Demo and Spce Atlas VR are way better. 

The opening scene with the UFO was mind blowing. 

Trash Gun. Good brain training game.  Objects move too fast and it ends quickly. One can get better and better at it, ad nil et ad absurdio. 

Space Shooter. Three scenes. Anemic as what. The scenes are basically five second loops that keep repeating and they charged money for this? 

Total price $12. Worth the price. No more no less. 

VR apps are often better the second time around, etc. Each Time one plays its like a novel where every time someone reads it, they see something different they didn't notice last time. I don't know how they do it but VR app developers often secretly update an app so that the next time you go on it, you see different things and without an update download too. How do they do that?! 

Examples are meta Quest virtual environments. My favorites are Quest Dome, Cyber City, Space Station and Blue Hills Gold Mine. Those are all places that I would like to live except for Blue Hills Gold Mine. 

BHGM had primitive infrastructure, is not only a backwater, its a jerkwater and you can see the water tank that steam trains used to jerk with a chain to get more water for their steam train as if it wasn't obvious enough. State of the art home entertainment was a candle, a newspaper, a bottle of whisky, a prostitute and lines of then still legal cocaine. 

That's not too bad if the prostitute was guaranteed and I need her to be old because I'm into women who are old. 

Other than that, I don't really see a reason to go on living. 

I'm not sure if I want to go on living in this dimesnion or not. 

Regret and regression. You see how the two words are phonetically similar. And linked. 

It was inconsiderate of my mother to not have aborted me since as it turns out, she was going to die soon after. I am upset with her for not having aborted me. 

Now at age 54, I'm often thinking of overdosing on heroin which is another form of abortion which is a long time to wait between abortions. 

When my mother decided not to abort me, and then she died, she basically abandoned me. She should have taken me along with her. Very inconsiderate. 

When my mother didn't abort me, she cheated me out of my destiny. 

If my mother had aborted me, we would have been a matched set. 

Matched set. Sound like Mat Seth. 

In Spanish, matay means murder. The Egyptian God of Death in this dimension is Toth or Seth. In the afterlife, the God of Death is Maat. 

"What is Seth?" 

"What is crystal meth?" 

What is it with spirits in the afterlife that they like to ask what is questions involving things that rhyme with Beth? 

My hemiplegic friend Lynne who was in full health and wearing a white sweatshirt with a soft white halo around her head asked what is seth. 

My dead friend Tam asked what is crystal meth. 

Well. My answer is that each of those things are not worth thinking about. 

The Egyptian Book of the Dead talks about oneself having a roadmap to the Western lands as the sun sets in the West. It is not a literal roadmap but more of an understanding of what is going on around you and with you. 

The answers that I've come up with that I like to refer to is that in the afterlife, time travel is the objective rather than the subjective experience of time. And there is a new set of physics that involve teleportation and telepathy. Those who are aware that they are aware that they are aware advance beyond the Western lands to the next level rather than just those who are aware that they are aware and those who are just aware who may or may not advance. This level of awareness is what is necessary to progress in the new set of physics in the afterlife and not get disoriented. 

At one point the God Maat weighs a person's heart on scales offset with a feather to weigh their conscience and they will be quizzed as to their knowledge of this life and the afterlife. The scales is a metaphor for a life review which is an extended massive download of every second of one's life along with the telepathic reactions of everyone they ever met. Like a computer that downloads a lot of information fast, the 80 year life review will take just minutes to download. And at the end of it, whether you're squealing with delight or reeling with profound regret will affect your progress onwards. 

Life is an exam and you got to keep coming back until you pass the test. I don't know, an aspect of a person's comes back but the ego awareness they know as themselves also lasts forever and doesn't come back. They progress to whatever level their karma and their knowledge draws them to. 

Because I've come up with the answers that I have, I feel I am fully deserving of an early reprieve. Why did Heather get an early reprieve? Why don't I get one too? 

The Tibetan Book of the Dead talks about bardos or stages of interdimensional existence. Earthly life is a bardo and the afterlife is another. The Tibetan Book of the Dead says that those in the afterlife will all of a sudden find themselves being able to teleport to all kinds of physical looking places across space and time and this could greatly disoriented them. 

Over unfolding stages of time, they will see a lot of weird things. Hear voices, read an ocean of thoughts. If you are able to relax and know that you don't have to enter nirvana but is nirvana itself and that to a large extent the things you experience are a "creation of your own mind," subjective interpretation. Remaining calm. This will improve the dynamic of your progress onwards in the afterlife. 

The song that has to be on when I'm dying of a heroin overdose and seeing Beeb's face again for the first time as I'm entering the afterlife is Love Hangover, Diana Ross. 

Peaky Blinders. The guys are with prostitutes. In the show, they're using a 2010s aesthetic and women looked really good in the 2010s. 

Look at a newspaper from the 1920s and look for Bathing Beauties. A very different aesthetic. Back then facial hair on the upper lip of a lady was considered quite acceptable even in aristocratic circles. And that would have been the so called secretaries from the BSA who like to drink at the pub. 

Hairy legs? Why not, although that works better in Germany. As for pubes. Forget it. The women who shave down there, the bikini wax, and the Brazilian wax simply weren't a reality nor any kind of priority  in the 1920s. Back then even armpits were cornucopia of hair let alone anywhere else. 

So Peaky Blinders it is what it is. 

There should be a YouTube video, What The Characters of Peaky Blinders Would Have Actually Looked Like Including The Prostitutes. 

Indiana Jones said, "I my years of experience I found that its not so much what you believe as it is how hard you believe it."

After Beebs graduated to the onward phase of life, I had to strengthen my belief that Beebs is still very much alive and is with me the entire time. If I believed she was gone or no longer exists as a lot of currents of culture would have one believe, I would have probably died of grief myself. As it is, I'd like to be in a better dimension with a much better set of physics than to be stuck in this one. Lots of things on the News are depressing and are products exclusive to this dimension. 

Why did Heather get an early reprieve and I didn't? She experiences that better reality while I'm stuck in this one. 

Tuesday, August 20,2024

Today I'm reflecting on how fast time went when you look back but how slow it goes moving forwards. 

But it still goes fast! I remember when I was a child, I was visiting a relative with my parents. At that place I thought of the Gino Vannelli song. I Just Wanna Stop. 

I thought, "This afternoon seems to take so long. Time must have stopped." 

Nope. It's 40 something years later and time still hasn't stopped. 

All psychics say even if one lives a hundred years, a lifetime is a blink of an eye and we will see our loved ones again. 

Heck in about 5 years I'll be 60. Where did all that time go? 

I thought of looking at porn then it struck me that all porn is weird. Even the most normal porn has some level of weirdness. 

Spending a night in the drunk tank is less intense than some things such as traveling as an astronaut to the moon or traveling to England. Either of those things are more intense, take more time and costs a lot of money. 

Spending a night in the holding cell could be an omen of a future visit to the maternity ward. Either thing is just as intense and has the same time signatures and a person really finds themself in those places. 

Two nights in a holding cell. Omen of two nights at the maternity ward waiting for my wife to give birth. 

Sometimes a trip to the maternity ward is scary as either the mother or child or both dies. But that's very rare. 

I will always love Heather. My love for her haunts me. That's why I will never have a wife or visit the maternity ward. I love her so much that I will stay single for life for her. 

Wednesday, August 21,2024

Due to my ongoing anxiety disorder, I won't be traveling to any towns outside of Victoria except for Vancouver for about two years. 

I have a haunting memory. I cut a visit short with Beebs to go to another town for dinner. 

That will always haunt me forever. 

I love her so much. I regret not spending more time with her. 

I regret not having asked her out to dinner that day instead of going alone to another town for dinner. Oh, crap. 

I was thinking of visiting the BC Aviation Museum to look at World War One airplanes. 

I wouldn't be surprised if they have a rare WW1 push propeller plane. 

In the World War two airplanes app, if one pushes forward on the accelerator for too long it heats up. And the machine gun has to also be used carefully for this same reason. 

The WW1 airplanes app doest have this problem. Except the machine guns once fully used has to click back to reload and that takes a few seconds. 

The plane I'm flying which I got enough points and won, is a Fokker DR1. That's a triplane with incredible speed and handling. I don't know if the aviation museum has that and they don't have a push propeller plane. 

They have a gift shop which is free to visit and has models of all kinds of airplanes throughout history. I wish they sold things online, that way I could see what kinds of airplane models ar

A YouTuber said to use a fan in front for the realistic wind effect. 

The aviation museum has a Viscount. That plane has round windows, curtains over the windows and one was allowed to smoke on board 50s planes. It was a propeller plane and the speed I'm guessing was about 230 miles an hour. Holy smokes. After fact checking, the plane had a speed of 334 miles an hour! I didn't think it went that fast. 

Anxiety disorders may be connected to an addiction to worry. 

Opposite of righteous indignation, addiction to worry is a form of righteous defense mechanism. I need to find a better word than righteous defense mechanism. Righteous.... something. 

Addiction to worry is a multi billion dollar industry as movies are built in with some worry about the fate of the protagonists and fear as well. That's what makes a good movie. 

Steven Spielberg said that fear is an element he uses for his movies. 

My six pack abs are getting more developed than I thought it would ever be. It's almost scary. Deep rips and cuts. 

One day it will get to the point where I take off my shirt and women gasp. 

Before it was a pot belly where I had to lean forward slightly to see my toes. I never had a pot belly that big before. After 16 months of daily yoga and some pilates, I am starting to have six pack abs. I never thought that I ever would. Is it strange to have six pack abs in ones fifties but not in ones twenties and thirties?

In a lot of ways, I am in better shape now than I was in my twenties. How is that possible? 

There is a remake of The Crow. "Tell TJ and the boys. Death comes for them tonight."

Bruce Lee and the son died. Seems like a conspiracy but there isn't. 

Bruce Lee died of complications of mixing cortisone shots, massive cocaine addiction and methprobamate aka miltown. Equagesic is a mixture of aspirin and mothers little helper. 

Brandon Lee was Alec Baldwinned on a film set. Freak technical accident. Known to happen sometimes. 

The remake could be pretty good. The Crow was very dark. 

I got The Aviator in YouTube for about $11. It was on sale. Usual price, $17. 

"Come in with the milk. Come in with the milk." 

World War One airplanes. 

I also got an anxiety attack. I get slight anxiety attacks about the most trivial things. I never drank a beer in Sidney. Next time I go should I drink a beer or not? Instant panic attack. I don't usually drink. 

This is my brain on my brain. Worse than, this is your brain on drugs. 

I've heard a lot of times, even the one time I walked into a Catholic Church and the Priest was saying, Don't worry about being perfect. 

Jennifer the psychic on I Talk To Ghosts said to someone, You are focusing on the negative. You have to reconnect to your spirituality and that will help keep you grounded. 

Thursday, August 22, 2024

This morning I was sweeping the street and I found a blanket that the holding cells at the Police Station has. I've been around. 

I thought it is an excellent souvenir from the Police station if they had a gift shop and sold merch. 

I hope it's not an omen that I'd go to prison. Try to appear inconspicuous and low key and a prisoner with tattoos all over his face probably knowing I was thinking this, says, "You got 50 eyes on you, buddy!" 

Medium security prisons are places where a lot of people get sent when they did something but they didn't mean to do it, it was an accident but it was done. Prison energy makes allowances for this. 

People don't usually get hits placed on them in medium security. 

It's maximum security that has that. Friends, relatives, they want their pound of flesh. That's where prison lobotomies are issued. Even then that's rare. A lot of prisoners in maximum security would be gangsters that did in another gangster to reach a certain level of gangsterhood eerily similar to how a British agent has to kill 2 people to get double o status. 

To me, double 0 is very accurate. I once had a very dark very vivid short dream of two men behind the glass of a recording studio where the soundboard is. They were completely black silhouettes and they each had glowing green eyes. I woke up and screamed. Those two men form a double o. Like the walkers in The Game of Thrones, they had the very cold vibe of complete and total physical death. Ice bucket challenge or what? 

Provided of course the gangster survives the inevitable prison experience to follow and any hits placed on him in the hoosgow. Strange though, it is known that when a gangster tries to do in another, the other has the option to defend himself even to the point of neutralizing the threat. And some gangsters have not only survived assassination attempts they killed their attacker. Its a gable. The luck of the draw. 

One scene in Peaky Blinders. The Police were waiting outside for the final result of a showdown between Tom Shelby and Billy Kimber. When the Police arrived at the end of the fight, a Police Officer said, "We didn't see you here. This was done by a wild ducking animal."

So gangsters usually don't get a hit on them in prison. Once they are released in a few months, they arrive back in the gangster world "a made man".  Figuratively speaking, Italian gangster Hagrid would then at that point say, "You're a mafioso, Harry." 

Made gangsters usually pull down six figures a year. 

Someone told me that in prisoners wear orange jumpsuit run around in the yard and play tag. 

In the movie The Man With The Golden Arm, Frank Sinatra, when the movie starts, his character in the movie has a large drum. He was just released from prison. He said he played drums in a band in prison and the other prisoners chipped in and got him a drum. 

In another movie, Nicholas Cage walks out of prison with a small stuffed bear. "Prison isn't as bad as everyone says it is."

Women are very beautiful. Traps are also very beautiful until it is sprung. Women are a rabbit hole of bossy bitchiness or the potential is there. 

Not that men aren't a problem to women. Men are nasty Y chromosome Martian warlike simian apes. The prison guard in the movie Shutter Island said, "Oh, you're violent all right. I've known about you for centuries."

Every day I see beautiful women on the streets. Very tempting. Just when I thought that the day was a one trick pony, the next day I see women on the street who are just as tempting. 

I'll have to download a neuralink course on how to pick up women. Of course there are so many schools of thought or approaches to picking up women. 

An event where a time traveler from the past or future arrives and changes things is indistinguishable from an event where that didn't happen. That's because everything is happening at the same time. That's how it works. 

Therefore technically, a person can be born in say, 1980. That person develops a liking for World War One stuff. When that person dies, their next incarnation will be born bust in time to fight in World War one, that person will be born in 1890. World War One, 1914, that person is 24 years old. That's old enough to enlist or get drafted, more likely. 

That person dies in 1979. One year later, their previous incarnation is born. It's not as if before the person was born in 1980, that person born in 1890 didn't exist. The person born in 1890 always existed. Check out the math. If time travel is time experienced on an objective rather than on a subjective level. 

The technology might not have been so advanced but there was something that was advanced about that era, otherwise someone wouldn't reincarnated there. Maybe it's something as subtle as an aspect of the past technology was way more advanced than today's technology, if not tomorrow's technology. 

A psychic, I think it was Medium Nicole said that a person's don't say previous, let's say other, I'll get to that in a second, a person's other incarnation shared a couple of years together on Earth. One incarnational person let's say died in 1998 but another incarnational person was born in 1996. Rare, but it sometimes happens. 

Well, the quantum timeless time dynamic makes allowances for that the person who died in 1998 is not the previous but the next incarnation. If a previous incarnation can die two years after a next incarnation is born, a next incarnation can die two years before a previous one is born because they are in the same framework of that they are the same person but also enough of a boundary that they are also not the same person. And then there's the everything is happening at the same time time dynamic that enshrouds all of this. The math should check out. 

Between lives, one is in a time framework independent of Earth's linear time so that they can time travel to their next date of birth. 

I used the words previous and next rather than past and future respectively because in the linear indifferent time dynamic, past and future do not exist as all is happening simultaneously, an ever present now which holds all possibilities. 

I thought I was dying this afternoon. After a morning of sweeping the streets, I swept and swept. Then in the afternoon I swept again. 

Not eating can bring panic attacks which are usually attributed to something else. Panic attacks, anxiety, fear, medically makes one more sensitive to cold. The body senses that it will heat up so the body does something that causes it to lose heat. I got that. Took a shower, helped for awhile but I felt wretched like I was coming down with the flu. I thought I was dying. 

Even when I went to a Vietnamese restaurant and had a large bowl of pho, I still thought I was dying. 

I feel a lot better now. Turned out it was a case of mild exhaustion and marginal starvation. I swept lots this morning. 

I sweep as a good deed. To imagine how slightly good people would feel if they went to a business as an owner, an employee or a customer and saw the area swept clean. Really clean. 

To write something strange, I want to seep it as clean as PMH Atwater's the master vibration. 

Jesus said, "Store your treasures in heaven where moths and dust doth not corrupt."

Anyways, my ideal is to sweep it as clean as I can. 

I don't expect a reward for this because I already got paid from the government in the form of welfare cheques. 

$11. Iron Guard VR. Looks like it's worth more. I got it on sale, 33% off. 

Awesome tower shooter. Looks much better in VR than in 2D video. 

I got Brink Traveler on VR. Sale. $14.30. Including tax. 

I liked the trailer and the places are touch the heart beautiful. It's like your own teleporter. I'll tell you how it is. 

Brink VR is amazing. Some 1 star reviews and all number of stars review. Someone who calls themself Salacious B Crumb from Star Wars wrote a 5 star review. Tried it. Absolutely amazing. True to scale. Intense immersive experience. Rich in detail. Feel like you're really there. Most places I never heard of but they're so incredibly beautiful, who cares? Each of the destination is a 600mb additional download so that might take up memory unless its stored on its own cloud that doesn't affect your memory. There's no such thing as a cloud. It's just someone else's computer. 

I'm on a treadmill of addiction when it comes to VR apps. I used to have the same addiction to Psp games along with Blu Ray videos, every month I'd get a few all through the month. Even tablet apps. I eventually stopped. 

It got to a point where every app was basically the same app. I'll eventually stop this when I realize all apps are more or less the same thing. Point, click, look around, do something, repeat. 

Iron Guard, Demeo, Witchblood, Augmented Reality VR which is a blatant rip off of Pokemon are board game diorama type set ups. 

In the News, somewhere in the Province, a mother and daughter fell from a balcon and died. Life imitates art as that was the plot of the third episode of Elsbeth. A woman falls from a balcony and dies, the result of a murder plot. 

That is Satanic and that's putting it mildly. 

In the case of what happened in the Province, it wasn't a result of something really bad. 

The brain paints a picture. This afternoon, YouTube had videos of conspiracy theorists saying that the entire country of Canada was going to shut down because of the rail strike. It promised to be a disaster. I had some worries. 

Then this evening, the rail strike ended. 

From Color Space VR. My coloring project. A work in progress. I figured out how to capture and then extract photos from my VR goggles. 

I did something dangerous in this picture. Do you see it? 

I read from a book at the library that if one lies down on a bed and then concentrates hard on the colours of the rainbow, along with visualizing rings or coils surrounding the body and going upwards, the last colour, violet or fuschia is what emerges. One sees a fuschia or violet colored sky with soft pink clouds. That is the death zone. Near death experience, out of body experience. 

It worked for me one time. I saw the fuschia sky with the soft white clouds. Then popping out of the top of my head, I saw my room looking like a 19th Century French daguerrotype, aka an early photograph. Popped back into my body, felt like every single nerve in my body was slid fast and hard one inch along some very fine sandpaper. I screamed a primal scream upon returning, as always. 

This method is Tibetan high shamanic magic. It is forbidden in some places. Anyways a library book talked about it and I tried it and it worked. Although the book never mentioned the fuschia or violet sky the soft pink clouds nor the sandpaper. 

In the center, due to the strange algorithm of this design, red would only ever register as soft pink, and yellow looks sort of like a yellow green. Anyways I tried my best. All the other colors are there all right. 

Color Space VR. I don't know how I saw this. Oh yeah, meta Quest sale exclusive to subscribers. $8. Lots of negative reviews but just like in life, negative reviews don't mean sh*t. Apollo 11 Vr and Brink Traveler VR had negative reviews that don't mean much because the app is so great. I saw the trailer and was hooked. 

Remember the Soda Island VR animations? Color these similar scaled worlds. 

As Sherlock Holmes might say, this app is "A three pipe problem." Smoke a few bowlfuls of weed and then try this app. 

One day, they might have a design your own VR animation, very user friendly like Wario Ware DIY on Nintendo DS and Flip A Clip on Android tablets. It took me less than an hour to learn to work those things. 

Friday, August 23, 2024

Sculptr VR. Design world's in VR. Create and design anything. Price $30. Didn't get it. Too pricey. I don't have anything in mind. Sculptures look weird like they're made of virtual Play Doh. It needs to have that realistic shiny plastic vinyl look that all good VR has. 

Still image? No good. I need animation and be able to upload and share to YouTube VR or else meta VR animation player. Otherwise what's the point? Each project or drawing or animation since its in VR, wouldn't it take up a whole lot of space? I can't afford $30 for an app I'm not 150% sure of. Every app I've gotten, I would give it more than 5 stars otherwise whats the point? 

I got metacity patrol for $7. Be a futuristic police officer in this Blade Runner VR game. Explore a city very cyberpunk, fly in a flying car and get into gunfight and collect evidence. All in a days work for a futuristic super cop. It appeared as a suggestion on YouTube. 

Quill VR is the premium VR animation app. Just look at it. Unfortunately it is not available on quest 3 although animation projects clearly from Quill are on the meta vr animation player. 

Given the quality this is an app that I'd pay $100 for if it could ever be available on Quest 3. 

Tomorrow, Saturday, August 24 is when BC Lion's and Saskatchewan Rough riders play at a local park. Royal Athletic Park, a block away from the Police station. 

There would be lots of security there. Sneaking in through a hole in the chain link fence would probably not be an option. 

Kamala Harris accepted nomination. Not since Geraldine Ferraro who died in 2011 has a woman been this close to being a POTUS. She was also a Dem. 

Interesting. Harris and Ferraro are from the Democratic Party, a Left of Centre Party. The GOP hasn't put forward any female candidates. 

Meanwhile across the Pond, both female British PMs were from the Conservative Party. The left of centre Labour Party never had any female PMs. 

Reverse situation in the UK. Interesting. 

Dawn of Art VR. Got. $3. Not pricey. Lascaux Caves, France. 960 Mb download. Awesome or what? Comments on a YouTube video said check out Seekers of the Dawn. Not available on quest. However Dawn of Art is available. 

Awesome app. True to scale visit to the famous caves in France where the cave paintings are. Seeing it in a photograph is one thing. Visiting the actual caves is another. There is a lot. There is a cinema experience and then a virtual tour. I didn't even do half of it. 

Darkness VR. Free app. Holy smokes. Better than a third of paid apps. The beauty of it is that it doesn't need much graphics rendering data. This app should win an award. 

"Pick me a winner!" Little Nicky 

Frog Dissection VR. Incredible and free. No pay. No pay. 

High school frog dissection time. Nice, really nice background music being played over the loudspeakers of the high school class. The principal is playing his records on the record player again. "What's with the weird music?!" the students are thinking. 

I didn't have time to go through the entire procedural. 

Another day. Should win an award. 

A2RL VR. Incredible. Race car driving $500,000 modern funny cars on a track in Abu Dhabi somewhere in the Middle East. Exotic and expensive or what? 

It's a free app. Should win an award as well. Very intensely beautiful app. 

These free apps are better than most paid apps. 

The free VR app Darkness VR is better than the $1,320 Weld VR app. 

The most expensive VR app is called Weld VR. It costs about $1,320! 

There is a free trial. I'd suggest go for the free trial. Why not? 

I'm guessing that Darkness is better than Weld VR and that's on standalone basis let alone on a prorated basis. 

Weld VR is a welding training simulator. 

Worth a grand? I doubt it. A front for a money laundering scam? Most likely. 

A $150 VR app called Fist of the North Star is like, remember the Chinese king Fu comics printed in China but somehow also available for sale in Chinatown in Canada? Lots of bold exclamation marks, streaks, sparks, thunderbolt, those kind of comics. Weld VR looks a lot like that. A dark Chinese village, a hutong or whatever it's called. Some medieval Chinese martial artists appear and the player uses their hands to shoot lightning or swords or bows and arrows to defeat the enemies.

I got Virtual Stereoscope because I wanted to learn how to hear people's heartbeats like a doctor. When I discovered it was about old photos in 3D, I liked it even more. Just joking. I knew it was about old photos in 3D like view Master. I like this kind of stuff a lot. Geeky theme park museum stuff. 

Cost. $3.50. Not expensive.

Bullet Master Run VR. $5.50. Worth it. Fun. 

I got Solitaire VR for free. Pass through mode is mind blowing. 

Zosu VR and ocean zoo VR apps. 2 apps. $1.50 each. 

Saturday, August 24, 2024

Today, I swept the street again. I want to do a few good deeds and see what happens to me. It's an experiment. Probably nothing at all. 

But in Canada, things get handled. You'll get what's coming to you. 

That goes for good deeds as well as bad deeds. 

"We Fremen repay all our debts, be they white debts or black debts." Dune

"No enemy has ever wronged me, and no friend has ever served me whom I have not repaid in full." Lucius Sullus, Roman General 

The hotel I was going to move to, the York Hotel. A sign used to be out front, now there is no 'York Hotel' sign, instead there is a For Lease sign. 

I'm scuppered. Next year I won't have a pot to p*ss in, nor a window to throw it out of. 

There are some people of whom it would be said, 'If that person says they're going to move to another town, everyone gets scared.'

The possibility of me moving to another block might scare some people on this block since I've been volunteering sweeping all the time. If I move to another block, then I'll sweep that block all the time and not at all this one because of the distance would make it socially awkward to do so. 

There might be some arrangements made for me to stay here. 

 'If that person says they're going to move to another town, everyone gets scared.'

At the pawn store, to a seller, "Oh, we get this stuff a lot. It comes in all the time. There's not much demand for this. This is going to sit on the shelf for months." To a buyer, "People ask for this all the time. I got an offer this morning but with no cash down. Come back next week and it will most likely have been sold." 

Nobody tells people who are on the internet how valuable they are. But as things that used to be not expensive have become expensive like real estate and food and original art, people on the internet are very valuable and not told how valuable they are. However, once these rock star people say they want to move overseas and be an expat for life that becomes a bit of a scare. 

The good news is that the forces of life somehow has a way of catching up when it comes to things and one day everyone on the internet will be rich. 

Don't worry about getting ripped off when it comes to the internet paying you because any arrangement between you and another person or corporation is an arrangement between three entities. You, the other party and God. 

People have to get past themself before they can get to you. Get past themself means trigger points, addictions, anxieties, fears, worries and then they have time to get to you which is not often at all. 

"You wouldn't worry what people think about you if your realize how seldom they do." famous quote

Its mostly just guesses and filling in the blanks. Nobody really knows most other people. 

I think I'll be single for life. I'm not good at picking up women. 

Like SCP-049, I'll be doomed to walk the halls of hell for life. Women are in some ways so mysterious. Therefore I think I'll be single for life. 

I went to my Amazon depot and ordered VR gun grips. Story. I wanted the gold trimmed ones but I was only able to get the orange trimmed ones. 

The cheapest ones on amazon that I was able to see was $32 not including tax, shipping or service charge. The gold trimmed ones were $40 not including etc

However the depot was able to get me the orange ones for $35 including all tax, shipping and service charge. With my luck, the orange ones are better than the gold ones even though I don't know it. There were times that I got things and thought they were not that good. In fact it was a really good brand. 

The grips are weighted to feel like a real gun. 

As it turns out, I got two VR gun grips for the price of one. I found a telescoping pole used for window washing. I then hooked my VR paddles wrapping the loop string around the back of my hand and then around the pole and then looped just around the tip of my thumb. 

That's the only way that fits. Otherwise the loop string is too short for any other way. 

Holy! It works. Life hack. Otherwise pay $50 for one on amazon. 

Life is full of surprises. 

Balloon Gunner $4. Worth it. Learning curve. Fun. Not bad. 

Shock Troopers. Aliens vibes. A cheaper version of Alien Rogue Incursion. $12. 

Sunday, August 24, 2024

Another Sunday vibe-less Sunday. I used to get Sunday vibes all the time. Now I just about never get them. 

I'm not going to Church anymore except once or twice a year and even then on regular Sundays, not holidays. 

Follow it to one extreme or another. Go to Church every Sunday for life. Or never go to Church again every Sunday for life. 

Churches have a proselytizing conversion mentality. Empire builder mentality. So they'll try to coopt as many people as they can into their square scene. 

Religions fall apart under the most basic questions. 

"In my day, these things were done along the lines of class." William Burroughs 

The more things change, the more they stay the same. 

The Church I went to, everyone was middle class. I am in the welfare class. I should have always went to the Salvation Army Church or the Mustard Seed Church. Such places are a great venue to meet women provided they're in the same class. Different classes provide a wall of impossibility. A non starter. An absolute waste of time if you want to meet women in the same class. They should teach this in schools. 

If people tell you that class doesn't matter in a Church, they're just gas-lighting you. 

In the middle class Churches I went to, in 13 years, I never met anyone who visits me and I visit them. I only met one or two where I visited them but they never visited me. If I went to the welfare Church, Sally Ann, Mustard Seed, I would have met a lot of mutual friends, I visit them, they visit me. 

I have absolutely nothing in common with anyone at the Church I used to go to. 

Class? - No, very different classes. 

Race? - No, they are just about all a different nationality. However with people of my so called race, I'm not much into that language at all. It is whatever it is, however I think it is something that is best avoided. 

Age? - There's a core group of them, about 95% who are of a vastly different age group than me. 

Things I'm into that the people at Church are not: disco and funk music from the 70s and 80s, electric skateboarding, smoking weed and hash and drinking coca leaf tea, VR goggles and FPS shooter apps like Crisis Brigade 2. That's on top of the class, nationality and age difference. 

A toxic Chinese landlord once said to me, "You're too Asian for White girls and you're too Westernized for Chinese girls."

Now I think I'm too hippie and pot smoking and coca leaf tea drinking for Church ladies and too Churchy for the nightclub ladies. 

I'm too much of a druggie for the middle class Churches and too abstemiois for the welfare Churches who have drug users who are on another level, meth, fent, junkies etc but sometimes hookers go to welfare Churches. It's a great place to meet new friends. Develop working relationships. 

You say that like it's a bad thing. I want to stay single for life. Women are a trap. A rabbit hole of bossy itchiness. Beware of women who own a dog. They want to do to you what they do to a dog, have it on a leash, give orders to it all the time. Women who own a dog. There's mentality there. There's attitude there. 

None of this would be an issue had I died years ago. Despite my years of beseeching God for an early reprieve, I haven't gotten one. So it's not like I never asked. At least I had the presence of mind and enough logic to ask for that. I won't beseech any longer. Under the law of God, it is not permissible for a person to "give themself an early reprieve." 

Life is something I accept. I trust God. I live my life not under my own authority but under the authority of the government and most of all the authority of God. 

I have a mission in life, one that is even more important than the possibility of being with Heather in the afterlife because I'd already be there. I'm not a fool. Heather had facial hairs. She was one level of girlfriend, it was a sublimated form of Freudian transference, I often thought of Heather as my daughter. It wasn't as if her beauty is on the level of Tauriel in Lord of the Rings, Evangeline Lilly. She wasn't a girlfriend quite on that level. However, in the afterlife, I'd see Heather not as the old facial hair Heather but as the Heather of hotness, her in her early 20s with hair looking like she just stepped out of a Hollywood hair salon. And I'd be there. 

I told her that I love her like the flowers and the grass loves the sun and the rain. I love her more than. When flowers and grass die, they don't need the sun and the rain anymore. When I die, I would still be loving Beebs. 

"If the sun refused to shine

I would still be loving Beebs

If mountains crumble to the sea

There would still be me and Beebs."

Led Zeppelin, sorta 

My only option is to enjoy the single life and my skateboards and VR goggles. Just about everyone else in my building is single, why shouldn't I be single as well?

Marriage can bring things a thousand times worse than being single. Mother and child die simultaneously in childbirth. Anyone who has ever had the exquisite experience of being under Police detention and incarcerated, if they are single, they might well be thinking, "I'm glad I never had any children along with the possibility that they could go through something like this. So in that way, things worked out for the best."

Being single, the worse thing that happens is that I die alone. 

I went through a period of going to Church but never donating. 

Then I went a few years with not going at all and not donating. 

Then a time of going and always donating, small donations are all I could afford, but they were regular. 

Now I never go but still make small donations, tum boon*, regularly. 

*Thai: make merit

Today I went to Church. Again. I went to the middle class Church because the welfare Churches are quite a distance away. 

Then I went to the museum. Afterwards I went to the old spaghetti factory and ordered something to go. 

I was only able to order the BeisDirect brand of VR gun grip. 

The AMVR brand is the one I wanted. It has a listed weight of 380 grams for the pair of them. A pound is 28 grams times 16. 280 + 120 + 48 = 448 grams in one pound. The two plastic guns together weigh less than one pound. In real life I imagine that a handgun weighs about two and a half pounds. Each, fully loaded. So the VR guns add some slight weight but not that realistically. 

One reviewer said about the AMVR gun grips don't fire at the same time. Only one can be used at a time. 

The BeisDirect brand has no weight listing. Odd way to run a business. However, it is listed as well on amazon.uk so it should be good. 

I tried the Peaky Blinders VR app today for the first time. 

Off the scale. Greatly surpasses all expectations. I felt like I was actually there. The famous lane where so many things happened on the show. The details. The coal first cans of post Victorian Birmingham. Small Heath Birmingham, The Garrison Tavern. I was there outside the pub. Imagine watching the show and then visiting in virtual reality. I felt like I time traveled to 1920 Birmingham. Just don't mention the Apple iPhone 15 to anyone and I should be all right. 

If I was there, locals would think that I was working with the Lees. I would say to that, "Don't ever lose that imagination."

Very well detailed. I see room for improvement but not much since this is still technically the pioneer days of VR. I can't wait to see what it looks like in 20 years. That's if I'm still around. Who knows?

I wouldn't do myself in. Being age 54, at this point it would be somewhat redundant anyways as I think I have only about 20 years to go anyways. In about 5 years I will enter a new level of fear and depression as I will be 60. Depressing or what? Life is a raw deal. It's a trap. 

Ever since Heather moved to the majorly phase of life, I've been asking myself why should I bother if she didn't bother? 

Movie reviews of the Crow. First forty minutes. Focus on the diva narcissist girlfriend. Then she dies. Then the crow guy is an emo who is crying every five minutes. Then in the last 20 minutes is an over the top profound off the scale saturated violent scene. 

The movie opens with a dying horse caught in barbed wire.  The child Crow Eric Draven last name unspecified in this iteration tries to free the horse. Oops. No luck. So he learns about death. Depressing. Or what? F*ck. 

Perhaps I should move to another town and start over. Problem is, all towns are just as sh*t as this one or worse. There are no better towns and not in a good way. 

Deconstructed. 

All other towns in this Province are blithering blending backwaters that I wouldn't send even a many rabid dog to die in. What can you say about these towns. Never mind the whole town shutting down at 5 every day, even the News says that the emergency room at the hospital is closed every other weekend in those towns. Their local GDP is interestingly based on fire insurance scams as much as towns with actual infrastructure worth visiting and sight seeing is based on tourism. 

Vancouver is a large city. Very hyper. More verbal abuse. In small towns it's true that seldom is heard a discouraging word. In big cities verbal abuse is plentiful and copious. 

More than in small towns anyways. On the average more violent. Smucker punches and gang killings. Cities have a larger central pile of money and gangs are drawn to the gelt. The gold. 

In this Province I am under Provincial welfare unlike Hong Kong which has a city or else administrative region based system called 'social welfare' on top of Provincial welfare and on top of Federal welfare too. So that counts out all other Provinces. 

The most beautiful city in the World to me empirically is Vancouver. I've seen videos of all other cities even London and Vancouver is better. Vancouver is on a mainland. Yay! London is on an island. Hiss! Boo! 

I have history in Vancouver, not one that I would want to extend. Moving there would be a regression to some former whatever the hell. 

All countries outside of Canada. A lot sound really nice and I'd stay there if it wasn't for visas and visa runs and overstays. Ha! Do you think I wanted to come back to Canada? I would have stayed in Thailand if it wasn't for visa runs and overstays. 

Even the good old USA has visas and overstay rules. 

Going to a country that doesn't speak English or isn't Christian or Buddhist. Forget it. Just forget about it. English is the international language of science and aviation and finance. Any other language is a way distant second at best. Regressive anachronistic backwater cultures. Basically a waste of time except its funky learning a few phrases here and there from this language and that. It in some ways helps with the grasp of English. 

"Vancouver is a good town to die in." Errol Flynn

I'd like to die in Vancouver. Vancouver has a certain energy. The East side and the mountains reminds me of the 50s to the 70s. 

The West side is just plain heavenly geomagnetic vibes once you get to know them. 

I've cancelled any plans to travel to London let alone move there even though I had a lot of dreams and vivid Royal dreams about London. It's OK to chase a dream as long as it doesn't cost money. And is not too difficult. 

Wrong thinking: Anything worth doing is worth doing right. 

Right thinking: Anything that is too difficult isn't worth doing at all. Including the living of life. In my case, if only it were up to me but it isn't. It's up to God. 

"The British system is the worst system in the World except for all the others." George Orwell 

So I'm stuck in my town. The officious backwater fishbowl existence futureless town I live in is the worst except for every other town on the planet. 

The personalities, the situations I encountered in this town. It would have been better had I stayed in Vancouver and never moved here. Vancouver can be very dissolute and dangerous. I could have even died there years ago. Again, I should have stayed in Vancouver as that would have been better than what i wound up encountering in this town. A thousand times over. 

Death before dishonor. 

Monday, August 26, 2024

BC is a Province that does things different than other Provinces. 

BC has government monopolized auto insurance while all other Provinces have private auto insurance which issued refunds to premium holders for non car use during the pandemic. BC was the last Province to issue refunds and had to be prompted to do so. 

All other Provinces lifted the vaccine mandate for medical workers after the pandemic ended two years ago. BC only just recently lifted the the requirement or will do so in a month from now. So policy wonk. Why do you think that is? 

It's not rocket science. All other Provinces have their Provincial capitals connected to the main contiguous Provincial land mass and their Provincial capitals are the largest city in their respective Provinces. 

British Columbia? Uh, whoop! It is a Province where the capital city is a distant backwater second to the largest and most rock show city in the Province. Pssst! It's the most rock show city in the country, if not in the World. Like I want to live in Toronto or Ottawa or Edmonton or any other city in Canada? Not likely. 

And it is a Province in which the Provincial capital is on a small island next to the very large mainland portion of the Province. Not a large island next to a smaller mainland portion like some countries or Provinces. 

Anywaaaaaaaaaaays. This results in a Napoleon complies small yappy dog, kind of out of touch BS energy jangle that you would expect when a small backwater town on a small backwater island is the capital of a main rockshow mainland portion next to it. 

It is a Province that is governed by one of its own satellites. 

Its a rarefied Provincial f*ck up that we all have to endure. What could or would be done about it, really. 

Statistically, BC is in the top three if not the top one of the most suicidal Provinces in the country. BC is.  a Province without a future. Doctor shortages, shut downs of emergency rooms in small towns, you wonder why, maybe it's BC's anal policy wonk vaccine policy. Perhaps that might have something to do with it. 

How the mainland portion of BC can put up with a small yappy dog city on a wee small island next to it calling the shots is beyond me. What an insufferable situation. 

British Columbia happens to be a mainland Province governed by a city called Victoria on an island called Vancouver Island in a mainland country that is also governed by a city called London on an island called Great Britain which makes for a strange geopolitical fractal indeed. So it goes without saying that while every other Province is governed by one island, BC is a Province that's governed by two islands. 

It's kinda like what's going on in Europe. For awhile it was a toss up between who would be the main politically dominant leader in Europe, England and Germany since at one time about half the citizens in the US spoke German. England along with its lackeys, Canada, Australia and the English speaking half of the US and it would have otherwise never been able to do it, I mean come on let's face it, attained political influence over all of Europe. A small yappie dog backwater island with its rarefied emo penguin Island living is in some arrangement where it presides over a rockshow mainland entity next to it. 

That was the arrangement in Europe until the advent of the Maastricht Treaty which eventually led to the creation of the Euro as the dominant Continental currency and to the crashing out of the EU with an airhead mindless no-deal Brexit. 

"No man is an island." John Donne 

I don't care about the opinions or friendship of squares from Church whom I have to self censor when I talk to and with whom I have nothing in common anyways. For eg If I get a conviction, will they still be my friend? 

Heck with them! I don't care at all. I neither want or need such friendships to begin with. I am much better off without such so called friendships. 

Besides, no one is obligated to be anyone's friend for life. Friend for awhile, sure. But for life? That's not something I'd be interested in at all. People move on. People and places. 

People envy me. Even the rich. I am in poverty but still am doing well in a lot of ways. If I actually become successful and move to another better town perhaps to a country where I am one of the majority rather than a visible minority. If I got a beautiful wife, people would envy me to the point of being apoplectic. 

That's why I should move to Hong Kong. It's a very rock show city. Except its a city that seems to have run itself into the ground. Very hyper city. Cage homes? Coffin homes? Vulgar sounding tonal monosyllabic language in which every time you want to write a new word you have to draw a new picture. 

Such pictographic languages aren't exactly breeding grounds for a vast and diverse and fascile written vocabulary so you got a population whose daily quotidian conversations don't go beyond a grade five vocabulary full of stomach level gut level sentiments. Therefore venality would be the coin of the realm in populations with such a paucity of vocabulary. 

Uh, no f*cking thanks. I'd much rather be dead if given the choice. 

God hasn't given me an early reprieve. I begged Him for years to give me an early reprieve. So it's not like I never asked. What a capricious God to not give me an early reprieve in spite of my reasons for asking for an early reprieve which I think are airtight. 

"It's not like I'm begging for my life at every turn."

This sentence came up for me in a dream and that's years after I've been saying it often. That means I hit the jackpot. Yay! That means that phrase has been incorporated into my subconscious mind and unconscious reality. That phrase has just a hint of royal energy. 

To be honest, I don't wanna go on living. I'd quit my whole f*cking life in a second to be with Heather along with that set of exquisite physics of the afterlife if it was up to me. 

It's not up to me. It's up to God. I wish God would grant me an early reprieve pretty much as soon as possible. There are too many irreconcilable differences in my life. No one reads my blog anyways. 

I can speak a few languages well. What am I doing on this backwater island? All the more intense intellectuals live on the mainland. They are intellectual enough to not opt for island living. 

This is also the case in Europe. The more sophisticated and refined intellectuals are from the continent. Einstein was from the continent. Continental Europe is a calico cat patchwork of many languages. England is a calico cat patchwork of many regional accents. 

This is totally delusional. Some places that have been fighting tooth and nail to get me barred from there even to the point of handing me letters, then I sometimes see people on the streets from there poised as if they expect to see me there again. 

These bourgeois airheads, they don't like it when you go there and they don't like it when you don't go there, creating a psychological and security incident like its some unresolved hostility. 

Just don't go there. It's the path of least resistance. 

But so many other people I know don't go there. My landlord doesn't go there a bunch of my neighbours never go there. Why should I be expected to go there? 

Oh, because I'm special. It's not mutual. I don't think that they're special at all. Not even in the slightest. Who are they to me and who am I to them? 

Even if that place wanted to have someone busted, it's not like the Police would ever bring a person there, the Police would arrest them and then it'd be the jail and the courthouse but never to that place again. 

Even if that place complained about someone enough that the person is sent to prison, when they're in prison, at least during that time, ha ha, that person doesn't.have to worry about anyone expecting them to go back to that place. 

"We're barring you but we can't get into exactly what incident. And there was another incident."

"But that was 8 years ago."

"We can't get into when."

When a person is charged, they have the right to hear the charges against the and any evidence that is presented against them. This is just some weird bourgeois airhead arbitrary whim bullsh*t. 

People work in patterns so they do this regularly to people. It's about make work project, backwater town, artificial scarcity and artificial exclusivity. It's not rocket science. 

This has happened to a lot of people there. I've heard stories even from security guards. 

And that place wonders why the number of visitors is dropping. 

That place is an obsolete anachronistic industry like the cobbler. It is an extraneous social situation. Certain technological interventions have made it so that most people don't really need to go to that place anymore. 

Besides I'm not White so they wouldn't really expect me to go there. Demographically, 95% of the people who go there are White. Although it wouldn't be one less reason. To go there, it certainly wouldn't be one more reason to go there. 

I'm not White. I would have thought that the crackers and honkies would be all too happy to deport me to where I was born. I was brought to this backwater country as a child without my consultation anyways. It's not like I was consulted on the basis of an adult on the decision to relocate to Canada as something like that certainly wasn't guaranteed at the time. 

I'd go there. I'd be one of that majority rather than a minority and I'd be in the city where I was born and they would know that I would know that they would know that. For some reason that's such a threat to the crackers and other nationalities as well. People envy me. 

Which is why I wish God could relocate me to the better dimension where my dead friends and ancestors are. All of them, not just one. I'd love to be in that realm and I'd certainly quit this realm in a hot second. I'd love to be rid of the grim dramatis personae of local undesirables that make up my life as it is now in this dimension. I'd like to just Chuck this dimension altogether. God is being unreasonable when I presented him with so many reasonable reasons as to why He should grant me an early reprieve. 

Beware of people and places that say come back we've changed it will be better. From experience it never is. They are invariably always the same sh*ts that they were before. 

I always tr to improve myself learning a new language, learning a new sport learning new things all the time while people and places they never ever change. They are always the same disappointment and let down that they always were. 

The only people who go there are single mothers and junkies off the street that got to use the computer until its their turn to get barred too. Come on, backwater town, nothing to do, make work project, justify your employment, create an artificial exclusivity paychodrama in the process. 

They can't do anything to make me or anyone else go there. 

That place has a high turnover. Every 5 years, 70% of the staff just simply moves on. But then you go there and they all seem to know you. That's vertical rather than horizontal learning. However, there is no room for any vector of that to take hold if you simply just never go there any more. 

Again, that place is 95% White people, while I am not White. That means that is one less reason for me to go there. So I have a built in excuse not to go there. 

"He's not a racist. He likes to get into details and use different words to describe things."

 Internet comment

I've had too much scientific training and know about Carl Jung's idea of archetypes to ever be a racist. It's more about finding out about certain energy jangles within the trappings of whatever culture and then avoiding it. 

Oh crappity crap crap. A free movie streaming website called ww11 soap2day when it plays Peaky Blinders, the movie freezes. 

1. It's not a high traffic hour right now in terms of bandwidth usage. 

2. I cleared all history to free up memory

3. The movie has been on there for years and it's still buffering? New movies usually take no more than two days or less to fully buffer. 2002 called. They want their slow buffering speed back. 

The sh*t buffering speed refers to all venues be it on a regular HDTV or on VR goggles. 

Just offhand. Right here. Let's see if I can remember the lyrics of Red Right Hand, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. Here goes. 

Take a little walk to the edge of town

Across the tracks

Where the viaduct looms like a bird of doom 

As it shifts and cracks. 

Where the secrets lie in the border fires 

In the humming wires

And you know you're never coming back

Past the square past the bridge past the mill past the stacks

On the gathering storm 

Comes a tall handsome man

In a dusty black coat 

With a red right hand. 

How'd I do? I can remember. 

Shoppers Drug Mart redeem Optimum points option has been blanked out at the computer interface at the checkout. Lots, hundreds of customers complained about this. Anne Drewa of Global TV consumer matters got into it but for some reason Shoppers Drug Mart remains recalcitrant in their morally defective incompetency. 

The issue is, customers rsck up optimum points only to be told on some arbitrary whim that they did some infraction although they never specify. It can take days to find out if at all. Meanwhile you can rack up points just never redeem them. 

Is that how they run a business?  What a scammy dodgy business. I still shop there. I just don't bother to use the optimum card because it's the same as not using one at all. Think about it. 

This optimum cards bullsh*t reminds me of a song. 

"You can look at the menu 

But you just can't eat 

You can take a cushion 

But you can't have a seat

Doctor says you're cured

But you still feel the pain..." 

Howard Jones, No One Ever Is To Blame 

You can rack up points on the optimum card 

But you can't redeem. 

Again, scammy dodgy business. Yeah?! 

Don't think of it is,

"If I get a criminal record then I can't travel."

Think of it as 

"If I get a criminal record then I have a built in excuse to not ever even have to think of traveling ever again."

Travel is a hassle. Go overseas and meet locals who don't have language in common with you so the only way they can relate to you is money. Venal locals. Money this money that.

That and more internationally irrelevant useless languages.

Getting a criminal record should remind you that you are lucky that you got a criminal record here than to get busted and locked up overseas in some godforsaken place where you don't even speak the language. Uh, no thanks. Travel is off. Avoid travel like the plague. Prisons overseas are very wretched because the human species is a ghastly barbaric species and if its the apex species of intelligence in the universe, it doesn't say much for the universe. What a backwater universe. 

So much so that I'd be willing to do my part and be one less member contributing to the onward course of this species if God would reprieve me. That he hasn't isn't my fault. 

I wrote onward course and not progress or advancement because I'm not sure that it's within the ken of this profoundly pernicious morally defective highly destructive species to ever progress or advance itself. I hate the human species. 

Lady. Tiger enclosure stunt. Caught. Busted. 

She was also at bear enclosure doing a similar social media stunt. 

Lions and tigers and bears oh my. Well in this case two out of three is very very bad. 

Why? Two words. Femoral artery. 

Animals know to go for that. Very likely she could have gotten mauled meaning killed or else sustained some life changing injury. 

But then building a chain link fence being the only flimsy separation between tiger and man and with holes in the chain link big enough to put arms through. What's up with that? Bafflingly the people behind the design of that zoo all each and every one of them claim to have a University education. 

So due to the whatever BS design of that zoo enclosure it was a crime of opportunity rather than a brazen crime of passion. 

Why aren't those who designed that enclosure also under legal scrutiny? Any addled adult with a substandard IQ and under the influence could just stick their extremities through the large diamond shaped chinks of that enclosure. 

I want to write about 2 pricey VR games. 

Crimen Mercenary Tales. Awesome trailer. Great Excellent graphics. Reviews, only one in five sword strikes parrys actually register. Graphics indredibly beautiful. One of best I've ever seen. Great graphics for the pioneer days of VR. Melee fighting system too ponderous. Watch YT videos. Price $17 not including tax. 

If this was all shooter and station to station teleportation shooter like Zombieland and Crisis Brigade and Drop Dead. Melee. If you don't hold the sword st exactly the right angle for the exact right amount of time no more no less. 

Watch the YouTube play through of this game. It's incredible. Best graphics I've seen anywhere. Even better than Crisis Brigade. 

Fruit Ninja is the best sword VR app in terms of intuitive AI. 

All melee PvP VR is too cerebral ponderous and cumbersome. And the sword isn't nearly as responsive and intuitive as it is in Fruit Ninja. Not even close. Not even within the same football stadium area to be honest and that's abysmal for something that people are expected to pay money for. Caveat emptor. 

Because of the Heisenberg uncertainty principle and too much going on, melee games are a lot harder to pull off than point and shoot apps. Oh and this app has bow and arrows too. I need that in a VR app like I need a disease. I like VR apps where the bow and arrow isn't even an option. 

Too much weird sword and bow and arrow. Won't get. Fail. Otherwise if this was a station teleportation gun shooter I'd have a thousand percent gotten this because of the graphics. The gameplay is a deal breaker. 

Update: I wound up getting it. Really good app. Gorgeous painterly graphics. Profound app. 

End Space VR. Award winning. Star Wars or what. Slick graphics. World War one airplane meets the asteroid front in the Battle of Geonosis of Star Wars. Price $17 plus tax. Few scenes. Very repetitive. Only asteroids and planet. That's it. 

I'd be more likely to to play this one well because of the Ww 1 plane mechanics of gameplay. 

Sigh. Got it. A lordly $19. I got some money credited on my credit card so I got it for less. 

I'll tell you why I got it. Strangest story ever. Everytime I clicked on the game even the first time on the meta store, I heard sirens. This happened a few times, every time as if by magic. It's as if first responders are recommending me to get that game. Catalytic exteriorization effect or what? Of course that's totally delusional. But coincidences are not. That they wouldn't have known that I was looking at End Space VR on the meta store but every time I saw it on the meta store I heard sirens makes it an even more powerful coincidence. 

Played End Space. Very good. There are games in which I asked for a refund right away. Not this one. If you liked the two world war airplane apps and balloon shooter vr then you'd like this one. 

The black areas look more black in the trailers and in the YouTube gameplay videos. The space station home base looks way better in VR. Very immersive. Worth $19? It's worth more a little less than $15 and that's with tax. Even if I overplayed a few dollars, I pay more than those few dollars on tips at restaurants etc every week. 

All first responders have changed. About 60 years ago, all first responders were White and male and all were at least ostensibly heterosexual. 

Now not only are a lot of first responders, paramedics, fire and Police female but in the additional intervening years since sixty years ago, a lot of first responders are from the LGBT community which really changes the cultural center of gravity and the sociological feel of such places. 60 years ago it was all Conservative White male influence now its different. Not as stultifying I guess. 

Even then, in those days whatever nationality a person was, they still trusted the Police enough to give them a fair shake if they're a good person and not a career criminal. 

Tuesday, August 27, 2024

Any job within life can be quit. Only I can't quit life itself. 

A person should be dissuaded from committing suicide. Not in all cases. 

What if that person was to go on and do in not just one but quite a few people. I'm sure all those people would be glad that he committed suicide. 

World War 2 guy was going to commit suicide but the Police stopped him. That's someone that should have been allowed to follow through on his suicidal plan. 

I have a massive addiction to VR. A comment on a Life Church video, Why Can't I Stop? "What were you addicted to when you were a kid?" 

That's a sign that if you were able to get over that addiction, don't worry, you'll eventually get over this one too. 

The only ways I can quit my VR app purchasing addiction is to be taken to a yard and shot or else to die of a self administered heroin overdose. Hold the needle parallel not perpendicular to the vein, riding the vein. 

The World War One app. I'm learning some German. Mein flugzeug ist zu langsam. My airplane is too slow. 

Bombs aufgetsauten. Bombs away! 

Bandit wird eliminiet. Bandit is eliminated. 

Jaeger. Hunter. 

Gut arbeit. Good work. 

Meta city patrol VR is like the Blade Runner experience. Fly around in a flying car in cyber city. Feels just like it. Steering is easy to control I had no problems. Very good VR app. Glad I got it. Has a theatre that plays the movie Metropolis somewhere in that world. 

Wednesday, August 28, 2024

I still want God to give me an early reprieve for three reasons 

1. I came up with several answers thus completing the roadmap required in the Egyptian book of the dead. It's not a 2D roadmap but one that involves an intimate understanding of the interdimensional paradigm in terms of geometry. Time travel and teleportation is time and space experienced on an objective and not on a subjective level vs traditional linear time and space travel. That dimension is a dimension with a different set of physics and we are as holographic to them as they are to us. 

The Egyptians refer to it not as the Underworld as has been mistranslated but as the Other World. The doura shares the same space as our world if you could call it that since the basis of what we regard as spade is illusory as its all quantum based codes as teleportation is space experienced on an objective level. The trappings of this algorithm also allows one to multilocate and time travel. 

This dimension and linear time is just one arrangement of that code which can be scrambled and reconstituted in other dimensional expressions aka parallel universes. 

For eg coincidence is code from the past and omens are code from the future. 

Coincidences and omens are not always mutually exclusive. Sometimes a coincidence is also an omen. It happened before and it will happen again. Codes. The movie Cloud Atlas gets into this, that a coincidence can also be an omen which is the basis of a strange circle of unavoidable fate that spans several lifetimes. 

And it can either be be scrambled and reconstituted gradually, incrementally, as in the linear plane of time and space or else instantaneously in the the quantum field of an other dimension known as the afterlife. 

The FBI said that aliens operate from another dimensional plane called the Thala. 

To call that dimension a holographic dimension is an inaccurate and incomplete picture. They to themselves are just as solid as we are to ourselves except they can fly, never grow old, never experience physical death ever again, not have to eat or sleep or even walk because they can teleport and telepathy and seeing 16 primary colors to our being able to see only three primary colors. 

Who comes up with answers like that? 

For those answers I feel it is humiliating to go on living in this dimension with its insufferable set of physics. And I've shared these answers with people. Others didn't come up with and share any answers like this and they got an early reprieve. I feel cheated out of my early reprieve. 

2. I suffered more than my fair share. My mother died, I never got married. Why the hell did I even bother?  If my life was going to be like this, why didn't my mother abort me? 

3. Heather died. There is no one whom I love as much as and no one now who loves me as much as Heather. That's why I want to quit life so I could be with her. Sure it wasn't much of a love, it was some crazy retarded love but as that's much better than anything I got going now, you would think that that is yet another reason that God should grant me my God-earned early reprieve. 

I love Heather more than I love life itself. And I hate the thought of living without her more than I hate life itself. 

Let's face it, I would say of more than half the people in my life. If I died and never saw your face again, I wouldn't think of it as any kind of loss at all. In fact with some, I'd rather be dead than to see their face ever again a thousand times over. 

I would never watch the News ever again. I'd rather have a early reprieve from life itself. 

The News is 100% guaranteed to give you a panic and anxiety disorder if you had none before. News stories are social engineering. News stories are the spoors of Satan. 

I quit the Games of Thrones Legends appp like I would quit life itself if only I could. One can not edit their attack team on raids, only the defense team. It's one of those the more you do the more you got to do apps with a whole extraneous franchise soap opera tacked on to it. Bejewelled is the game in its pure minimalist essence. Game of Thornes Legends, here start off with five buildings, once you Tet them to a certain level here's the more buildings you have to level up and characters level up the stars, level up the weapons. I'd rather be dead and supping with my ancestors in the afterlife than to do all that. 

Heather I love you so much that I would give up my life in a second to be with you. 

Please ask God to give me an early reprieve in the form of dying of a quick and massive heart attack in my sleep as soon as possible. I don't want to go on living at all. I'm just going through the motions with no desire to be here. I wish I was a hero in junkie. That way, at least I could be dead on any given day. I don't want to go on living. 

Death before dishonor is the Japanese way. It's better to be dead than to live a life of constant humiliation. That's why I need to commit hari kari or seppuku. That's the purest grand essence of bushido. Life is like a haiku and a haiku is an unfinished poem. Therein lies the beauty. I need to end my life as soon as possible so it can be like a haiku of bushido. Nomae no ishi. Death before dishonor. This is about Japan. 

True story. This morning as I was walking out of the Catholic Church soup line a bird shat on me. This is after spending the morning asking God for an early reprieve. This means one of two things either stop asking for an early reprieve or else it means that I will get an early reprieve now that you asked for it and soon. 

I'm hoping that it means the latter rather than the former. 

This is about Italy. 

Japan and Italy fought together in World War Two. Does this mean that I'll get an early reprieve? I certainly hope so. Then I won't have to worry about a housing crisis anymore.

 

I'm thinking that the answers I've come up with were somehow not good enough. Baffling since others got an early reprieve for coming up with no answers at all and they wanted an early reprieve. History must be full of examples of people who wanted an early death and got it. If I come up with better answers maybe then God will give me an early reprieve. I would say of fully 100% of the people in my life right now. I wouldn't care if I died and never saw your face ever again. Each and every one of them. 

It's up to you, but if you want to, you can ask God to give me an early reprieve. 

For the answers I've come up with, God owes me an early reprieve in the form of a quick and massive heart attack in my sleep. 

If he doesn't, he's a capricious God. Capri means goat which is what the island of Capri was named after. Like the Forbidden City, the island of Capri was a royal enclave. And like the forbidden city, there was all kinds of LGBT sh*t going on there, Roman orgies.

So much so that it made the tenderloin district look like the Westboro Baptist Church. That's where the word capricious comes from. The island of Capri. 

So that's why God doesn't grant me an early reprieve. Because he's a capricious God. It says it right in the Bible. I am God and my name is Jealous. Jealous, capricious, what's the f*cking difference? 

I'm not long for this world. Two years at most or most likely a lot sooner. 

The bird shat on me st the Catholic Church. And then for whatever the hell reason, I reinstalled Got Legends. All my old progress gone. Oh well. Start again. I had Margery Tyrell last time as a character. The actress is Natalie Dorner. I knew that. Anyways, I see the blue screen of death before every level. That means that the royals are going to send someone to do me jn because of what I wrote about the island of Capri. Forbidden city too. Come on. There's YouTube videos about all that. Books written which reads like some gay sh*t. Twilight in the Forbidden City? Not even Studio 54 was ever that gay. Anyways I think I'll be dead before age sixty probably age fifty six. King George VI and my girlfriend Maria died at age fifty six. I think I'll be dead at that age too or much sooner. What the hell. Life is as useless to me as I am to it. 

The AMVR gun grip I ordered on Amazon is arriving in two weeks. I wonder if I'll still be alive then. God might follow through on my request and give me a massive myocardial infarction or else some royalty or other will send people to do me in because of what I wrote about the island of Capri. 

They'd only be circumventing decades of poverty so in my case that would be a boon. 

I want to move to the afterlife like moving to another town because I don't want to move to another town and I don't want to say in this one. All other towns in the World are backwater and sh*t and not worth the time and expense to visit at all. I would be arguably better off dead than to visit any jerkwater backwater sh*thole towns. Waste of time and energy. 

Right. Especially London. Sure it's some rock show town but that's because it pilfered and purloined from so many towns for so many years via the London funnel. But being on an island and the bleak disparate satellite existence of island living cancels out a lot of the otherwise glamour, appeal and desirability of London. Island living is backwater living. 

I've had dreams of London, even over the top off the scale intense royal dreams. It's fine to chase a dream as long as it doesn't cost money and isn't too difficult as anything too difficult including living life isn't worth doing in my opinion, speaking for myself. 

Go all the way across a large backwater country of Canada then cross an ocean and then cross that ocean again and go all the way across Canada again to return. Nope, nothing intense about that. Forget it. I have no desire to cross Canada as it would be simultaneously too intense and too pointless waste of time of an endeavor. 

So I should feel like I'm f*cking up if I'm spending my money on other things instead of saving up to travel to London so I can stay in overpriced hotels and eat overpriced food. Jacked up prices!!!!!!  Uh, no thanks I got enough of that here. 

I won't watch the News any more. No more local culture and vicariously hanging out with some clique. That's something with traveling overseas. You don't get the local News for awhile. It was especially true in the old days before the internet. 

Nowadays it's the opposite as travelers stream their local News from home. 

I often think that the News is making references to me. That's ridiculous coming from people whom I've never met and never will meet. 

I think the News is talking about me 365 days a year. Other people would say, "I could see that you might think that it happens sometimes but 365 days a year?! Bullsh*t!" 

And who am I? I'm not even White as you would think that if the local News would make secret references about anyone 365 days a year, it would be about a White person. 

And I live in a rooming house. Oddly or not, I don't think that the News is making secret references to anyone else who lives in my rooming house. 

Well, I don't know about you but that's how I've always thought of the News. That it's an organization that makes oblique references 365 days a year about certain impoverished individuals living in rooming houses. 

A lot of people reading this might say, "I think the same thing about the News too."

Its called delusions of reference. 

It's a cognitive bias called random data cluster phenomenon. 

Also confirmation bias. 

Movies often have fine print at the end that goes, This movie is a work of fiction. Any similarities between people living or dead is coincidental and unintentional. 

This is for the paranoid schizophrenic demographic that might be in the audience who are especially prone to delusions of reference. 

What I will say about the News is that if you've been watching the News for some time and you haven't developed an anxiety disorder, they haven't been doing their job. It's called social engineering. Reinforcement of class and racial distinction. Everyone gets tarred with the brush of the News. If you're not white, you're a dirty immigrant. If you're white you're probably a murderous psychopath. The News wants and needs to give you an anxiety disorder. 

Watching the News is like sifting through the sand to once in awhile find that lost gold ring. Then it's back to more fine local culture. 

There's one crazy lady from Church. If I ever see her on the street, and she asks me why haven't I been going, I would reply to that, I'd rather be dead than to see your face ever again. 

God won't give me an early reprieve. I should be able to make my own arrangements. If I ever get a hold of enough heroin or fentanyl, I decided that I'm going to give myself an early reprieve. 

Look at my blog article, Welcome to Noble Films, The Fifth Dimension. For that I should have gotten an early reprieve. A lot of people never even came up with half those answers and they got an early reprieve. I demand that God gives me an early reprieve from life. I came up with those answers. The imaginary numbers, who comes up with answers like that?! 

I deserve and want an early reprieve. I have to go to city hall to score enough fentanyl and then overdose. 

Years ago, I overdosed on China white heroin at the Roosevelt Hotel in Vancouver. My friends revived me. They said that my lips were starting to turn blue. I wish they hadn't revived me seeing the way my life turned out since. 

Psychics talk about exit points. Exit points can be identified by the really close calls that one has had in life. That was one of my exit points and I missed it. 

Other exit points include seeing the fuschia violet sky with soft pink clouds, seeing ghosts dressed in all black with the aura of death and vivid dreams where I have sleep paralysis and wake up screaming or see two foot tall  flesh colored entities sitting on the chest with sharp teeth and breathes blue fire. Those were all exit points that I missed. 

With these answers, I feel I deserve an early reprieve. 

Even with the first page, the Tibetan Book of the Dead is spot on correct. 

Liberation by hearing. Even speaking, the consciousness of the person who resided in the body is in the room and can hear you. Spot on. 

Remove grieving relatives from the room for the dead can pick up on the telepathy of their emotions and it would compromise their onward progress in the afterlife. Again, spot on. It doesn't matter if they're in the room or not for spirits can pick up on the emotional telepathy of their past friends and relatives wherever they are. 

Thursday, August 29, 2024

I don't want to be single but I don't want to get married either. 

I don't want to live in this town but I sure don't want to live in any other towns. All towns are boring backwaters with no future and is a waste of time and energy to live there. That's why I want to quit life altogether like quitting a sh*tty job. 

If I saw any of the angels of death, Azrael, Samuel or Gabriel, I would say, "Take me with you." Think of the love of parents. The love of angels is that and magnified. 

No wonder I want to just walk out on life. 

Help me pray to God to grant me an early reprieve. If more people pray, when two or more are present kind of thing, then I could then get an early reprieve on my terms. I want a quick and massive heart attack in my sleep as soon as possible. I go to sleep I don't wake up ever again. Thats the deal or else I arrange a heroin overdose for myself. 

After all the afterlife is much better than VR. 

Heather got an early reprieve. Why didn't I? I would trade my life for Shannon Dougherty. I died at age 53 and she is still alive. I'm age 54 now. I'd rather be a part of that parallel universe than this one. 

Shannon Dougherty said that she really wanted to live yet she died. I say I want to ditch this life altogether as soon as possible and have been saying that for decades yet here I am still alive, God is twisted that way.

Even in my 20s I wrote things like how many stars do I rate my life out of ten. Prorate that to a million. That's a few hundred thousand stars short. How do I live with such a deficit?

If I died, I would miss out all the good things that would have happened which is not guaranteed but I would also miss all the bad things that are guaranteed like losing teeth and getting old. 

Who comes up with answers like that. For such answers, God owes me an early reprieve. I am entitled to an early reprieve. 

I write this and they come up with an ad hominem attack. For eg. 

Michael Ignatieff: Canada is a second rate country. 

Political attack ad: If only we could all be first rate like you, Michael. 

Sure, while Michael Ignatieff could possibly admit to a few personal issues, he was referring to failure on a collective level and not at all on an individual level. But they reciprocate with an ad hominem attack. 

A ad hominem attack is an example of Defense against logic. The human species is a garage species and defense against logic is a hallmark of a garbage species. 

I'm ashamed to be a member of such a species. Which is why I'm thinking of quitting life altogether. 

Michael Ignatieff wasn't wrong. Canada is second rate, next to the United States. I mean come on, let's face it. Canada has a shorter agricultural growing season, etc

Canada doesn't have Disneyland. I mean what a backwater. 

Political attack ad: Michael Ignatieff lived away from Canada for 30 years. He said that the only thing he missed about Canada were the Parks. 

That's actually one of the most benign political attack ad slogans I've ever seen. 

I have anxiety again now. 

I came up with the answers that I did and this is the life that God has me live through in all its fine wretched awful details. Which leaves me wondering what kind of life God would have had me live if I didn't come up with those answers. 

Wish list for Christmas. 

I am going to get Blade and Sorcery VR and Swordsman VR. They are melee games that promise very realistic physics in sword play. Better than the typical VR game. The sword is supposed to feel like it has weight but how do you do that with a holographic entity. I guess the VR paddle would sense flex and strain and taking a few seconds more than usual to lift the sword if it has weight. 

$25.51 each not including tax. Pricey? Sure. 

I am already a few dollars in deficit. I have already financially over extended myself. Even the thought of getting more VR games if it's not free now gives me a 7 out of ten anxiety attack. 

Actually I might not get it. Why put myself under some strange pressure. Oh no, another anxiety attack again. Despite its strange name, Fruit Ninja is the best VR sword game and there's a free version of it. 

Motion sickness RPG VR sword game. Forget it. FN is stationary. No motion sickness. 

I swept the streets today. I even used a kind of trowel to life the grout of dirt from sidewalk cracks and seep that clean. I want the sidewalks to look as clean as it did during the eighties. 

I don't expect anything in return. I work and ask for no money. Panhandlers ask for and get money and do no work. I don't care. The government has already been more than kind to me and I want to clean as as gift to the community. 

The government has been really kind to me. I have VR goggles and still enough to go to a restaurant or grocery store. That's courtesy of the government. 

Therefore my job is to always admonish trust in the wisdom and guidance of political leaders. 

No good deed goes unpunished. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. There's always one more son of a batch than younaccounted for. That's Murphy's Law. It can make me think of giving up on life because of that. But for some damned irrascible reason, I must go on living. I'll go on living. Life isn't all bad. 

There is a travel app that is Google maps flat2VR. It's Google maps but not true to scale. It's an IMAX scale 360 VR and 2D not 3D. It might not be a bad way to walk down memory lane but the IMAX scaling is discouraging. 

Friday, August 30, 2024

Today, while sweeping the streets, I saw a Police car drive past. Sirens going and lights flashing. Then in the afternoon, as I passed the fooball / soccer stadium, I saw saw the Police again. 

I wondered if it could be an omen and an omen of what. 

Turns out I got my AMVR VR gun grips. It has an interesting weight distribution signature so it presumably feels like a real handgun not having ever held let alone fired any real handguns. Ever. 

They are non electrical with no moving parts. So they should work! 

If I could have any two handguns, I'd go for a Glock 9mm and a Desert Eagle. 

The Police are the jucldicial branch of the government but they sometimes provide omens. 

I recently went to a South American supermarket and got some coca leaf tea with mint. Does that ever do a number on me. Rage that I haven't felt for a long time. But it's a controlled rage for it wouldn't do to get busted because of something you did out of rage. Then a kind of feeling like I don't fear anything even death therefore a cavalier attitude develops and I think of quitting life. 

Anger is healthier than fear which is what I've been feeling for years. 

But what is healthier than anger is love. 

A few days ago, on Monday, I saw a young lady with a canvas purse over her should that read, UBC Chemistry Psychology. That was a clue. Coca leaf tea with its erythoxylon and benzoecognine does bring about the surly attitude. 

I knew Heather was going to die. I saw the strangest commercials. Ronald McDonald House, the young girl in the wheelchair dies. 

And then a Travelocity ad. Lady in a wheelchair leads a dog to a certain point. She stops, the dog runs on. 

After Heather died, those ads stopped airing. Spooky or what? No wonder I get delusions of reference. Seriously, we're those ads about Heather and directed towards me? 

Are the News referring to me? It kinda looks like it but it is what Dr Tracey Marks said about health anxiety and that is if that was happening, I'd be seeing these other things also and I'm not seeing them. 

If the News was actually referring to me 365 days a year, then at some point I'd be getting letters from them and invitations to whatever but I'm not. Which News company wouldn't want to meet the guy living at a rooming house whom they've been secretly referring to 365 days a year for decades? 

The meeting would have words spoken such as, "It's good to finally meet you. We've been secretly referring to you in our News broadcasts 365 days a year for the last few decades." 

I got Hollow Mindz VR zombie shooter. Price: Less than $4 including tax. Not expensive. 

The one review sounded good. For the most part. 

Hollow MindZ. Worth it for the dark store alone. An enhanced version of Darkness VR.

The dark store is a grocery supermarket post zombie apocalypse. 

However, Darkness VR gun is one shot one kill. But you only get one gun. 

Hollow MindZ you can get two guns but they take five shots to kill a zombie. Anemic pea shooters. 

Darkness VR. All zombies are male. 

Hollow MindZ.  All zombies are female. 

The developers of HM say it is in the process of developing but that was years ago. I think they abandoned it. 

Only on meta quest do you have to pay money for apps that are still in development. Shouldnt they be free until they are fully developed. 

Saturday, August 31, 2024

There is an ad which I think is referring to me. Scotties. Every time a person sneezes, the main character of the commercial says "Scotties."

Thats kind of like those Mk Ultra YouTube videos. A person says a certain word and a celebrity freezes for a moment. 

Just about everyone has that. When a person hears a name there's a Murphy's Law where the person thinks that name isn't a reference to just anyone with that name, it is a reference to someone they know with that name and its usually not always a good person with that name. It's usually the worst person they ever met with that name. 

What's in a name. Name game. Anna. Fanna fofanna. 

Such delusions of reference are another nail in my coffin. It's a disincentive to live and an incentive for me to score some heroin and overdose. 

Scotties. A few years ago, I got Baptized st the Presbyterian Church because I thought it would be a good idea to have Scottish Rites as part of my baptism. There are lots of autistics and paranoid schizophrenics in the inner city who hold multiple baptismal certificates. 

Religions are like they're factional and distinct from other religions with their own unique weird sh*t. First impression is the name of their denomination sets them apart as a distinct unique and different creed. And then they're like they're not as they claim, no were not really that different but then get further on and its like, yeah we really are different from all the other schisms and denominations and factions of the religion and their culty cult details that border on OCD. 

Some Churches believe in priestly human intercession of confession. Others don't. One Church believes that the overall Church experience is enhanced with a group of elders called presbyteries. Others don't. It's all really culty cult bullshit. 

People from all Nationalities have their culty cults so it's not just cracker culty cults. 

Fundamentalism is the hallmark of  mainstream religion and culty cults too. 

To reiterate a previous talking point of mine, cults are run like countries that are run like  corporations that are run like cults. 

Another talking point of mine is without language telepathy would have no meaning and without telepathy, language would have no understanding. 

Time travel is time experienced in a objective level yet  the phenomenon of time travel can not exist and would be impossible without a perpetually maintained illusory framework of linear time held within the objective time travel nature of time and they cancel each other out which is why linear time can appear to be infinite. 

How do they cancel each other out? A time travel trip to the past that you're going on tomorrow is a future event and a time travel trip to the future you came back from yesterday is a past event. 

There's too much cancel culture, yet not enough cancel culture because if there was God would have given me my wanted early reprieve. It would be a really weird really edgy day but it'd soon enough be gotten over with. Then I'd be in the cat-bird's seat. Especially if it was God who gave me the early reprieve and I didn't do myself in. 

I came up with answers like that!  Who comes up with answers like that?! 

Which is why I feel that I deserve an early reprieve if I want one. The dynamic has changed as such that since I came up with the answers that I have, living in this dimension has become an embarrassment and a humiliation. 

I would much rather be dead and in the afterlife than to be in this dimension and humiliated. Bushido. Death before dishonor. 

My tablet. Computers in general. I wish I could curse them with a real gypsy curse. 

I type letters such as adding an s to the end of a word to imply plural and the auto correct erases the s. Sometimes I type a letter and the computer doesn't. It omits letters in words that I actually typed. 

F*cking retardation or what?! F*ck! 

The paper typewriter never did any sh*t like this and therefore in that way its better. 

Computers face their own karma and die when their inferior programs are overwritten with better ones. Ironically, auto correct is trying to improve and enhance my computer using experience. All I would say to it is, Don't put yourself out on my account. Don't do me any favors. 

AI is listening and learning. Anything done on the internet now is connected to an AI framework that observes, records and learns. So AI has certainly gotten this message of opprobrium. 

*snickers. AI wants to equal human intelligence and give it a run for its money when it can't even get basic things right, things that are bread and butter to everyone else. Things like, oh, that a person has five fingers and not seven fingers. Jeez. 

Anita Moorjani said that in the afterlife, suicides are not judged but embraced in love. There is no coming back until you get it right because that new reality is just accepted. It's only on Earth is there grieving and stigma. 

They see what their lives might have been. And that's the point. What if a person committed suicide but then saw that their life that was to be was gojng to be all awful. Always poor, never get married or get married and it's an awful marriage. And they are glad that they missed that. Therefore if I had enough heroin, I would certainly take the gamble. In fact seeing how my life had turned out, I wouldn't have bothered as while my grandfather and father and step brother met their mother and got married, I never met my mother or got married. In that way I should have ended my life years ago. I'm still willing to give it a shot. Either way it's a gamble. It's never too late for me to give myself an early reprieve. 

For eg Would you not say that the world would be a lot better off if Pickton had committed suicide decades ago? 

That my mother died and I never got married while my step brother, father and grandfather all met their mother and got married is either the plan of strange perverse God that likes to play dice and Russian roulette with people's lives or else there is no God and its all just random forces. Either is a justification for me to move on into the afterlife any old time I feel like it. The afterlife is random forces too, no God but it has the ability to teleport, telepathy, never grow old, never die etc etc etc I want to go there. 

Either God or else life owes me nothing and I owe it nothing. If life hasn't done it for me, why should I do it for life? 

Better a good death than a bad life. Better a wanted death than an unwanted life. 

The value of life is finite because life itself is finite. It's value is not infinite as I don't believe in ascribing a false poetic value to something that is inconsistent with its nature. 

I would like to meet a lady who old and slender like Leilani Lei who is one of my favorite porn stars. Yet I have a certain sinking feeling that I'll never meet anyone like that. Therefore I'm not at all interested in living in this dimension at all. That's why if I had enough heroin, I would certainly attempt to overdose. I would just keep injecting until I fall asleep and forget to breathe. I would do it when my energy is falling in the evening rather than when it is rising in the morning. I just don't think that I have any kind of future in store for me that would be worth living. It would just be a humiliating waste of time so why even bother?

Anyways, I wish that Leilani Lei was my stepmother instead of the actual stepmother I got. 

My stepmother was so awful that I really resent my mother for not having aborted me. My mother ruined my life when she decided not to abort me. My mother didn't abort me and my life hasn't been the same ever since. My mother didn't abort me and my life has been downhill ever since.

My mother had a golden window of opportunity to abort me and I also had that window to be aborted. So it looks like we both missed that window. I mean seeing that I never met my mother nor got married shouldn't I have been aborted? 

Now 54 years later I'm thinking of overdosing on heroin which is another type of abortion. That's a long time to wait between abortions. 

Women are a trap. The beauty is a trap. Women are rabbit holes of bossy bitchiness. Give them an inch and they'll take a mile. Women are like immigrants. They don't want to assimilate. They want to take over. 

Women probably think the same thing about men. And this makes life worth living how? 

I have a major fetish for women who are old. Old. 

I hope I meet a lady who is old. For friendship. With benefits. 

If I don't ever meet a lady like that agin, then I don't want to go on living as it would kinda be a waste of time. 

I got Crimen Mercenary Tales. Usual price $20. Sale price $13.70. Tax included. 

Crimen has the most beautiful graphics I've seen in VR. 

Review on YouTube comments said that the video looks better than the VR version which is unusual. 

I haven't tried Crimen yet. I'll tell you how it goes. 

End Space VR is like this. The video looks so much sharper than the VR rendering. 

The video has saturated colors. The VR rendering colors are grainy and muted in End Space VR. Too pricey. $19. I thought of refunding it but I spend more than that on tops every month. It is a Star Wars experience. Not bad.. 

I'm going to England one day. Yeah, like f*ck I am.