News Button
Gilles was at the television, watching, all paranoid. The News was on and he thought that the News Anchor a pretty lady knew that he was watching them.
He imagined that at the News station, there was a small green light that went on whenever he was watching that News program, a strange kind of Neilsen's ratings. He was telling this to a friend who said that surely, if it were so, and if it were of the smallest number of people whom the news would be interested in, there must be about a hundred lights and the news technicians, the ones who write the words on the teleprompter would know what words would get to what person.
Suppose light number fifty of a hundred little green lights went on. Number fifty once had a very verbally abusive teacher in the tenth grade that he did not like called Elmer. The person who wrote the words on the teleprompter would be sure to say some sentence that would include the word Elmer whenever light number fifty went on.
Gilles said, "No no no no, there is not a hundred lights, there is only one light and that light tells them when I am watching."
Gilles' friend thought of something that Stephen King said, "Somewhere along the line, the guy just blew his fucking wheels."
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Shortlisted Signage of Businesses
At the Department of Vital Statistics downtown, the people who worked at the Office there had a laugh every day. Immigrants who were linguistically challenged when it came to the English language nonetheless sent in their spirited attempts at names of businesses. These names would eventually be shortlisted, prohibited.
This prohibition would appropriately be followed with a session with a business counsellor who would tell them why their idea of business name was prohibited and to suggest a better name.
On Monday Morning alone, these are just some of the ideas for names of businesses proposed:
- Bob Cat Video, more cat than bob, we specialize in weird porn
- Pussy Hair Salon
- T & A Books
- Poisson Beverages *Poisson Boisson
- Master Bait and Tackle
- Leary Adult Magazines
