The Special Olympics are for People with physical disabilities. Then there was an outcry amongst people with mental disabilities, and even those who were criminally insane lobbied to gain what they felt was their Constitutional Right to compete in sports.
A 'Special Mental Winter Games' was created to spotlight the incipient talents of those who were mentally disabled.
Some of the athletes came from British Columbia's Essondale Mental Institute for the Criminally Insane.
One athlete named David Rothbury, was there because he opened an ice cream shop.
Police Chris Hines: "Show me your menu. I hope I don't see anything that's going to piss me off!"
MENU
Cunt - chicken soup stock, Thai fish sauce, and strawberry flavour ice cream
Asshole - a hollow wafer cone with peanut butter flavoured ice cream
Cock - For The Ladies
Sperm
Felch - oral retrieval of semen from the anus, vanilla and peanut butter fudge
Now years later, the ice cream store owner is participating in the Mental Games.
Another athlete was a doctor who had mixed up the medical records of two patients, one patient who was supposed to have kidney operation and the other who was supposed to get an operation on his lower jaw. So that as a result the patient who was supposed to have a kidney operation marvelled as he saw no surgical scar but was puzzled at the sutures about his lower jaw, all this while his abdomen was purple and he was actually now, in fact, dying. And the other patient who was supposed to have a jaw operation now still had an aching jaw and also now a strange new major surgical scar about the abdominal area.
There were other athletes.
One of the athletes was a billionaire, a sea captain who rented a couple of BC Ferries at night, he held a bizarre version of an Easter Egg hunt except it was not Easter and the hunt was not for coloured eggs but a $100,000 diamond ring, had knocked out the lights and fitted them with actual corpses and a stuntman who was encouraged to beat anyone up he could find while he walked throughout the ferryboat disguised as a zombie. And recently in the news, there was a ferry accident when a state of the art, modern ferryboat capsized and sank. The news reported that all on board had perished.
And another participant was a structural engineer who decided to raise the bar once and for all and build the ultimate roller coaster. This roller coaster was to have a 100 storey drop.He predicted that 50% of the riders would and should die of shock and sheer abject terror in order for it to be a top class World class roller coaster. See, he reasoned, if 0% of the people died, it would be no good, but also, if 100% of the riders died, it would be no good as well! The first hill was a hundred storeys.
The entire edifice, looked at from a distance had a Tim Burton, offwordly quality to it like something out of a dream.
The roller coaster had been largely dismantled leaving behind a few roller coaster cars, and it was converted into makeshift bleachers, for the site of the Special Mental Winter Games was very close to this dismantled railed structure.
Another athlete was a customs officer at an isolated border post. Cabin fever inevitably set in for him, and so he expertly stencilled an official looking sign stating in effect that all travellers had to have proof gender". Travellers were asked to pull down their pants in order to "provide proof of gender". Travellers were already pulling down their pants for customs officers for other reasons anyway. What tripped him up was that he refused to believe that one of his female travellers was really a woman when he demanded her to pull down her drawers. It turns out that she was the wife of a politician!
ch 3
As the ferryboat sank, a teenager stood on the prow and yelled, "I'm the King of the World!" In spite of it all, a few passengers laughed. The sea captain with his money had rented an underwater sub. The sea captain knew the passenger manifest. He knew that there was one missing passenger. During a weekend pass, he arranged to bring the passenger to the Special Winter Games Village, temporarily, until it could be moved to his next 'Easter Egg hunt' soiree. He placed it in one of the old roller coaster cars at the rollercoaster/bleachers near the village.
The Roller Coaster Engineer saw the body and thought that they would blame him for it so he moved the body to an out of the way place under the bleachers where it was found. But he was blamed for it anyways. At least he was one of the suspects.
The Constable Chris Hines did indeed decide to have a peek at what was in a bag that was left near the Roller Coaster. What was there was incriminating and conclusive evidence as to the sea captian's salvaging of a body that was supposed to be missing including plans, photos, and gloves and pictures of the remote submarine.
Detective Chris Hines was at the funeral of the man found under the bleachers. The Constable walked up to the sea captain and said, "We know it is you. You might as well give up."
The engineer tried unsuccessfully to kill himself that night. But when he awoke in the hospital after having his stomach pumped and treated with an antidote to the pills he had ingested, Constable Chris Hines was there at the side of his bed. The engineer was placed under arrest.
As it turns out, fears of mental patients murdering people were unfounded and it was decided that permission for mental patients to take parts in sports was granted.
Soundtrack:
ZZ Top - Under Pressure
Jan Hammer - Sonny Crocket's Theme
Fleetwood Mac - Rhiannon
________________________________________________
border="0" alt="contador de visitas">contador de visitas
