Friday, September 1, 2023

September, 2023

Friday, September 1, 2023

Today, on the American Dad Apocalypse Soon app, I defeated the boss on the North Pole World. There is another world coming up but when is it going to arrive?

A security guard removed a dead seagull on the roof outside my window.

There is no old without young, no young without old. No rich without poor and no poor without rich. Some things can't exist at all except as a value offset by another value.

The thing is to view the subjective mind objectively rather than to view the objective mind subjectively.

Top advice. Things I wish I knew when I was 20. 

1. Have a good telepathic history or thought history as you go through life. Some forces in the Universe are telepathic. 

2. Neutralize all problems in the mind. And see if problems could also be funny. Except in times of exhaustion, burnout, breakdown, the ability to neutralize worrisome thoughts is halted. It takes a few months for that ability to come back. 
Some problems can't be neutralized such as growing old. Growing old is awful but there's no way to avoid it. 

3. Einstein said that the passage of time is an illusion. Everything is happening at the same time. 
The meaning is that time travel is time experienced in an objective level. The way time is perceived is time experienced on a subjective level. Time is an algorithm, a modality, a dynamic. 

Everything is happening all at the same moment but perceived otherwise, however there is an undercurrent or force to which all the billions of years of the Universes and the Earth's history registers as one moment. That is one of the forces that is keeping things together and one of the forces that God operates. More psycho babble. Word salad. Don't ever lose that imagination. 

4. There is travel and there is regression. There are towns with good infrastructure and there are backwater towns with barely any infrastructure. 
Usually, as Swing Out Sister said, it's better to travel. 
Is it better to travel and live in another town but that town is a backwater or is it better to regress but live in a town with good infrastructure?
Backwater towns are relative. Dawson Creek is a backwater next to Victoria. Victoria is a backwater next to Vancouver. Vancouver is a backwater next to Toronto. Toronto is a backwater next to New York. New York is a backwater next to London UK. 
London UK is the number one city in the World. London is a backwater to no other city. 

To regress back to a town with good memories is one thing. To regress back to a town with bad memories is another. And to regress back to a town with selective memories good or bad is yet another thing. 

I still fear travel. Travel anxiety. But to travel is good. There is a new saying, "not unlawful but awful" which is about various peccadilloes. 
However to travel is not unlawful and unlawful. In other words, travel is good. I need courage and money to travel. 

I fear the future. 

Saturday, September 2, 2023

I stayed home all day apart from going to Shoppers and getting a Google card so I could get: 
Santa Uniform and Santa rifle: $23
Yellow bird as pet: $10
These features are or else were available on the American Dad Apocalypse Soon app. 

Jimmy Buffett died. The song Wasting Away can only be fully understood as an expat hearing it while sitting on a barstool in a tropical bar overseas.. 

Staying home all day. I've become really reclusive. 

As one gets older, they can look forward to seeing their body shut down one organ at a time. 
As one grows old they can also look forward to the health system shutting down one hospital at a time. 
1 in 5 people in BC don't have a family doctor. 
In a hospital in Northern BC, the emergency room is shut down all weekend. 
In Victoria BC, the capital city of the Province, the Royal Jubilee Hospital operating room is shut down for one month due to shortage of staff with hundreds of cancelled surgeries. And you wonder why I fear the future. 
A lot of the shortage has to do with lack of affordable housing. Rising house prices from speculation means steady property values and economic stimulation and investment incentives but only to a point. There comes a point where that is counterefficient thst essential workers can't afford a place to live. 
There is an incongruency between two systems. One is the housing pricing structure and the other is the medical workers union wage structure. In England, there is something called London weighting which is similar in concept to the Living Wage. 
There could be rent controls or else a government housing subsidy program exclusively designated for medical workers where part of their rent is paid for by the government. This would be an incentive to medical workers from elsewhere looking to work in BC. Something like this already exists. It's called co-op housing
Life gets worse yet I have to go on. 

In towns that are prone to forest fires, a medieval solution might help. Thst is to build a moat around the city. A few cities today still have a most. One of them is Chiang Mai, Thailand. The moat should have flowing water and not stagnant water. I guess it could have stagnant water. A moat with flowing water would be connected to a river at two ends, one end for in-flow, one end for out-flow. 

On television the other day, a Nanaimo RCMP Officer said of someone being, "deep in the throes of addiction." He could have been referring to me. I am back to being addicted to cannabis and tobacco. Chronic hardcore, light up once very 20 minutes level of addiction. 
Howevrr, the RCMP Officer was referring to someone with a more severe addiction, that is addiction to drugs that involve needle usage. 

Thursday, September 14, 2023

These last few days, I mostly spent at home. Stoned on weed. A few times I've furtively ventured out, I mainly went shopping. I went to Craigdarroch Castle a few times. 
I haven't seen Heather for two and a half weeks. Her scooter is being fixed and so she can't come to visit me on the scooter. Often when I went to visit her, she wasn't home and even on a few occasions, I made an appointment with her and she didn't show up. I once asked her why and she said she was busy. That can mean that she was getting fucked. 
I would fob her off on another guy if that other guy makes her happier than I make her. If that guy can provide for her things that were lacking in the relationship me and Heather have. 
So I decided to give up on visiting. The afternoon is a bad time. She has afternoon naps regularly. 
Before, there was no end in sight to the work. I was visiting her and constantly cleaning up for her. Now, there is no beginning in sight to the work. And that's good. I don't want to spend the next ten or twenty years being her servant with no end in sight. 
I often delusionally think that if I didn't visit her and clean up for her every five days, that she would die. But a person who would die if you don't visit them for five days would probably be dead in nine months even if you did visit them all the time. 

At Church, an old guy who goes there asked me about my headphones. He then said he had a go pro and didn't know how to work it. He then asked what I did for a living. I told him I am unemployed but I did animated cartoons on YouTube until I had a nervous breakdown two years ago and since feel nervous about doing cartoons. 
He said he might need someone who can draw cartoons. I told HK that my cartoons aren't that good. He said "I'll be the judge of that." 
I wish that guy would have left me alone and gotten off my case. I don't ask him to do things for me. I don't ask that of anyone. 
His name is John or else Don and he said he is from Vancouver. He is old, over 70 years old. I once said that he is lucky to have seen Vancouver during the 50s and 60s. 
He seems like a calm guy. Over the years, I've had so many worries and pronlems about people at Church and strangely, almost supernaturally, none were any problems I ever had to worry about later. These problems always, as a rule, resolved themselves. Church is a place where God and the Holy Spirit resides. I don't know anything about a go pro. He would know more about go pros than I would. 
I can't do cartoons. Art is a product of inspiration. I am not in an inspired place in my life. I am at a place where I'm wondering if I'll have to be a handicapped lady's servant for life. I am at a place where I'm worried about that guy at Church asking me about my headphones, and go pros and doing animated cartoons. 
I don't want to do cartoons and lose entire files of elaborately drawn pictures to make room for new projects all the time. 
Mark Twain said, " As an old man I've known a great many troubles, most of them have never happened." The Church is like that. 
I'll probably wind up not having to have to worry about that odl guy. 

But Vancouver was  awful in some ways then. There were turn of the century houses falling apart all over the city referred to as urban blight. Urban blight has disappeared as higher house prices keeps the riff raff from owning houses. Vancouver then had no internet and movies of the 50s and 60s and television shows were awful then although they probably seemed cutting edge when they were new. 

Plus there is no way to save my animation cells. Each frame is a cell. Each cell is drawn and applied to the final cartoon project. Some of these cells or even sequences of them can be copied and pasted in the procedure of making a cartoon. 
On my tablet, these cells can't be individually transferred to a PC and saved. I lost so many pictures and projects. I finally decided to give up because I have no more space on my tablet for future projects. I am a bit of a hoarder. I don't like to throw away past projects although I already threw away quite a few 
I need to find an animated app other than flip a clip where I can transfer my project files to PC. But with new animation apps or programs, there is always a steep learning curve as each are every different. I give up on animation. I've lived out and drawn all the animation ideas I've ever previously dreamed of doing. Adventure cartoon, history csrtoons, outer space science fiction cartoon, martial arts cartoon, safari cartoon, trip to Europe cartoon, I've done all that. I don't really have any new ideas or visions. If I was Ina more inspired place, I might do csrtoons again. 
There is no public demand for my csrtoons anyways. 

At the drug saturated tent city, someone got shot this morning. It's probably a drug turf war. In Russia during the 90s, there was a code of gang violence and killings called razborki meaning settling of accounts which defined the underpinnings of the criminal under world's modus operandi. No one knows what happened but the best thing is to not get involved with drugs. 
Given that Canada has stricter gun laws and given that a person who lives in a tent couldn't afford a gun or else why would they live in a tent, whoever had the gun was a gangster. Sherlock Holmes might deduce that a person living in a tent was selling drugs against the proviso of local gangsters who held the area as their drug turf and that local gangster shot and killed the drug user living in the tent or else the drug user had a lot of drug debts and was unable or else unwilling to pay. 
There are a million stories in the naked city. 

Subjectively, old age is horrible but objectively, old age is very gradual. Objectively, it is moving from one moment to the next, each moment not being very much different than the last. Or moving from year to year, decade to decade with each not being very much different than the last. Even if there is a sudden illness, society and its atmospherics and access to the internet is the same. 
Subjectively, the imagination kicks in and one imagines all kinds of horrible things. Old age isn't a series of violent explosions but a gentle whimper as one retires or else gives in to a mental breakdown that they never thought they'd ever have but did have at one point in their life and retires. 
"Every man's got a breaking point. You and I have one. Walt Kurtz reached his and he has gone insane." GD Spradlin, Apocalypse Now 
If one thinks they are operating objectively, that is subjective. If one knows that they are operating subjectively, that is objective. In other words, if the senses can sometimes deceive, why wouldn't they always deceive? 

Ukraine is the second most populated country in the USFR next to Russia itself. USFR United Soviet Federated Republics. 
So the Russia Ukraine conflict is neither a civil war nor is it a traditional war between two nations. It is a war between two federated de jure and not de facto Nation-states. 
Or it was the second most populated. That depends on how many refugees fled. 
Let's just call it an internecine war. 

Today I went for coffee with a friend at Church. She is a nice lady. She has a dog. 

I fear the future. Heather is the source of all my fears and anxieties. Either I abandon her or else be her servant for life because she is handicapped and unable to completely clean up her own apartment. I hate people who put me into lose lose situations. I hope to see a way that I can be free from working for her for life. I don't have to work for her. I'm not legally required to. 
Heather has lots of cigarette butts which I collect and smoke. Free tobacco. Either its go back and sometimes work for Heather for the free tobacco or else never work for her but  pay money for cigarettes which is pricey. And that is another lose lose situation. I am terrified of the future now at this particular specific juncture in my life. 
My addiction to tobacco is awful. 

My friend from Church told me today that an East Indian philosopher who got a PhD said, "Taking care of yourself is the most unselfish thing you can do." Basically, if you don't care take of yourself, you won't be able to take care of others. 

First it was burnout and nervous breakdown then it got downgraded to fear then downgraded to anxiety. Now it's just confusion and being overwhelmed. Confusion about my place in life and about what will happen in the future. I fear the future. The future is a concept. One only ever lives in the present. The future is a point far away that one is never quite at. They are only ever in the present. 
I feel fear about Heather and the future. 

After walking with my friend from Church, I went to the Legislative Buildings because David Suzuki was speaking there. I saw him from a distance. He was wearing sunglasses. 

Then I went home. I fear the future. It terrifies me, actually. 

Saturday, September 16, 2023

Woke up with fear. Fear all morning. I haven't been eating enough over the last couple of days. Food is a tedious detail. Either cook my own tasteless bland meal or else spend money to go to a restaurant, keep doing that and then wind up broke and starve to death. 
Sometimes I don't feel like eating but one has to remember to eat regularly. 

I went to the mall and Edo restaurant and got a meal to go. There was a very pretty lady who smiled at me. I smiled and said have a nice day, or something like that. This is a friendly town. Lots of people I've never seen before and will never see again smile at me and I guess others too. 

Returned home with more fear. Life is boring. Stay home all day and play on the tablet, boring. Go on a walk. Boring. Visit Heather. Boring. Church is a social event and all social events takes effort to attend. 

I don't feel great but feelings often lie. The true thing is the word of God. 
Genesis 28:5 God will watch over you every day for life. 
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, said God. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 
Pastor Joyce Meyer said, "Don't live according to your feelings. Live according to the word of God." 

Very few times do I ever feel bliss. It's usually a combination of looking at a picture of a building or a section of town from a favorite city and listening to music. 
I used to feel Sunday vibes that we're so strong that after awhile, it was a bit cloying and I wanted it to end and they would often end at 7pm but sometimes it would go on til midnight. Sunday vibes. It's been years since I felt Sunday vibes like that. I hope I can feel that level of Sunday vibes again in my life. Sunday vibes is difficult to describe but it is centered around Church. This can be Buddhist Church or Christian Church. Sunday vibes remind me of 1974, the era when Steely Dan's album Katy Lied was released. 
Well there was a formula. If I go to Church every week, I won't feel the Sunday vibes. It's best to go once every two or three weeks. Some Sundays not going to Church was  essential to cultivating good Sunday vibes. I've been going every week these last two years because I have OCD and am prone to forming habits. But only good habits. Habits that give me anxiety are habits I won't form. 

Thank God for the gift of life. Thank God for helping me with my life. 

Thank you God for guiding my steps. Thank you God for showing me a way where I don't see a way. 

Finally, existence is scary. To go on living is scary. And death is even more scary so I'm resigned to live life which is a process that terrifies me. Life is scary and death is scary. Existence is scary. Existentialism is supposed to address this issue. I don't know if it does. 
I have to go on living. To honor life is to honor God. And to honor God is to honor life. 

"You don't go from being alive to being dead. You go from being alive to being even more alive."
Angel films, upcoming documentary, After Death

Darth Vader: "Choose. Live or die."
Ashoka: "I choose to live."
Anakin: "There is hope for you." 
Ashoka, season 1, episode 5

Monday, September 18, 2023

It was a good day. I went to the dentist because I have a tooth that's very sensitive to temperatures. I have to get it extracted next month. 
I saw my dental assistant on the street. She gave me a hug. 
Then I went to the James Bay Inn. I had lunch there but my tooth was very sensitive to the root beer with ice. At the James Bay Inn I had a very friendly talk with the waitresses who work there and I got a hug from them too! 
Life is good. I like life. Thank God for the gift of life. I'm glad I stayed alive and didn't do anything crazy years ago. These last few days have been very smooth. I wonder Joe I'm going to get on jntil next month with a sensitive tooth. 
The tooth usually doesn't hurt. Only extreme temperatures hurt the tooth. 

I saw a sign hanging from a tree. It was a poem written by someone named Virginia Satie. It said that hugs are healthy and good for the body and a few hugs a day are recommended. 
I feel very honored and blessed to be getting hugs from a lot of ladies over the years. These hugs each strengthen me and remind me that it is good to be alive and if I am able to see them and give them a hug once in awhile, indeed my life is going somewhere and not nowhere. 

Despite what Virginia Satie wrote, perhaps too many hugs are lecherous. Hugs can cause anxiety if one is hung up on them. A man should be a gentleman and behave with honor. That is the essence of perfection. A man should be reserved around ladies and not be a pervert or lecherous. Or at least try his best to. 
Perversion and lechery prevents a person from being 100% perfect. To have some perverse thoughts about women and sex is 100% normal but not 100% perfect. To be perfect is to be like Jesus. He's the only person who never sinned otherwise his crucifixion wouldn't have meant anything. 
I wish I was someone who never sinned. I could sure write my own ticket. But since Christ was crucified, as Joyce Meyer says, "God takes away our sins and remembers them no more and removes our sin from us as far as the East is from the West."
I guess that would be for sins that aren't too serious. For the more serious ones like say someone did a lot of people in. Then God would say to them, "We got to talk." Or else he would send them to hell. Hell is real. Howard Storm talked about it. He also talked about the importance of not taking the Lord's name in vain. 

I sometimes think that I need to see a certain form as proof that there is a God. What about the fact that I can see any forms at all? This thing called consciousness and being in a realm of a million and one things is a phenomenon enough to prove God's existence.
Man is a sentient being that makes things. So man imagines that there is likewise a sentient bejng that made all things such as stars and planets and stardust and these things through random incidental forces eventually made humans which makes things. Then the question would be who or what made God? I guess God is final irreducible variable in the cosmic equation of all existence. So nothing made God. God made hkmself like an egg which gives birth to itself. It's a vicious cycle. It's a Mobius strip. 

Finally after all these years I am really glad to live in this town. I see a lot of friendly ladies who are willing to give me a hug. Some old ladies but some young ladies too! I think the ladies have noticed that I've been doing yoga. Two or three months ago, I had a pot belly. Then after a few months of doing yoga my body looks and feels more sturdy. I have a bit of an athletic look. I want to see how my body looks and feels after doing yoga every day or just about every day for a year. These last few days, I've been doing yoga twice a day. The body is physical. Sex is physical. When I improve my body, women respond to me in a physical level. 
I doubt I'd stop after a year. I hope to be doing yoga every day for the rest of my life. 

The love I feel from a few of the women in this town has really overwhelmed me and in a very good way. I hope to be the best person I can be. 

To survive, I have to hydrate. Since I have a sensitive tooth, for the next 3 weeks and 3 days or thereabouts, I'll have to pour liquids into a cup and then wait until the liquid entropies to room temperature and this of course includes hot and cold liquids. 

The News said that the Canadian Government said the the East Indian government sent some people to do in a Sikh separatist leader who was also moonlighting as a Sikh temple leader. 
The Indian authorities must have seen him as the Sikh version of David Koresh. 
That's just awful. This a a cruel mean world where all kinds of people get done in in Canada. 
Is this going to be an ongoing thing? Is the East Indian government going to send more people to do in more of their own people across Canada or in the US or in the UK or Germany etc where there are Sikh temples? 
This makes China imprisoning two Canadian citizens, the two Michaels, seem mild in comparison. 
This Hardeep Singh Nijjar was a major separatist leader. So major that if Khalistan was ever established, he would be the first Western puppet Prime Minister or President or whatever gubernatorial title he assigns himself. He would be like the Sun Yat Sen of Khalistan. 
Sun Yat Sen raised money overseas while he was overseas and eventually became the first President of the Republic of China. It goes without saying that Sun Yat Sen was a Western puppet. 
Palki Sharma said that Hardeep Singh Nijjar had been organizing referendums about separation, kind of like Scotland's endless independence referendums. 
Since Singh Nijjar was so singular in his level on his separatist group hierarchy, he was targeted. 
While he was living in India before he moved to Canada, Hardeep Singh Nijjar was the leader of a Khalistan separatist terrorist group called the Khalistan Tiger Force which is probably the State of Punjab's answer to the Tamil Tigers. 
Right now it is the State of Punjab. Only if it ever separates from India would it become Khalistan like Pakistan after it separated from India. Unlike Khalistan, Pakistan's separation from India was a result of exogenous forces namely the British occupation namely Cyril Radcliffe. Khalistan attempting to separate is from Indogenous, I mean endogenous forces. 
Separatism is a dangerous game. A&E had a documentary about someone who was a separatist for Alaska being an independent country until he was found shot in his cabin. 
Revolutionism and separatism is something to avoid and to not touch with a ten foot pole. Hasn't your life got enough problems without getting involved in such frivolous nonsense that is also highly illegal and dangerous? Enjoy the government you got. All problems wither under the glare of good government. If you really don't like your government, the best thing to do is to vote with your feet and to silently leave the country. 
How would Canada respond? Trade sanctions and increased tariffs on Indian goods? India would be expected to reciprocate with increased tariffs. 
Why Western puppet and not Russian puppet? Sikhs do not have a political presence in Russia as they do in the West. 
In Canada, there are 18 Sikh MPs in the Canadian Parliament while there are 13 Sikh MPs in the Lok Sabha or Indian Parliament. And there are 5 Sikhs MPs in the UK Parliament. 
I doubt there are any Sikhs in the Russian Parliament. 
Singh Nijjar was based in the West who offered him asylum probably in exchange for him agreeing to being a Western puppet. 
Taiwan, Khalistan, Quebec, and Scotland are all places that want to separate and be an independent country. And each of them have been trying for decades to do it. 
The 1982 movie Secret Nation talks about Newfoundland wanting to separate in 1949 but agreed to join the union of Confederated Canada. But British agents were there and scuppered the deal somehow. 
The Canadian History term Confederation intended to mean a bunch of Canadian nation States or Provincial States to come together as one united country when confederation means a separation of states like what happened with Russia in 1991. Federation means a bunch of Province States uniting to form one solidified sountry. 
Anyways, the best thing anyone can do is just forget about separatism and separatists. Don't even think about them and certainly don't get involved with any nonsense like that.
The Priest who got killed at the Sikh Temple reminds me of the Priest who got killed during the Peasants Revolt in England in the 1300s.  
There is a parallel to the Sikh Temple Priest Hardeep Singh Nijjar and Pastor Arthur Pawlowski. Both suffered government retribution for anti government activities. 
If the Indian government is sending people overseas to whack one of their own people, that proves that the government is the biggest mafia of them all. 
If the East Indian government sent their agents to whack a white Canadian who never had anything to do with India is one thing. They sent agents to whack one of their own whose involvement and history with India was extensive and profound. That explains it but it doesn't excuse it. That's like China's Operation Foxhunt on steroids!
Sending agents to do an extra judicial killing. That's out of order! Singh Nijjar didn't even get due process before getting the death penalty. No wonder Trudeau is pissed. Trudeau didn't think that was too cool. 
Probably for months before, the Indian government had members of their secret police attending the lectures of that Priest to see if there is any anarchist anti-government speeches as could be expected with any priest of any religion at any Church. They probably didn't like what they heard. 
Before he got killed, the RCMP gave Hardeep Singh Nijjar an Osman warning meaning that they have intelligence that someone is planning to kill him and that he should relocate. As a seasoned separatist leader, he probably received these warnings before and chose to ignore it. 
Trudeau talked about the Singh Nijjar case with the Indian President Narendra Modi during his trip to India. The Indian PM probably said, "You got your problems with Quebec so shut the fuck up." 
Someone should do a Hardeep Singh Nijjar Braveheart parody. "They may take our land but they'll never take away our freedom!" 
This case is like a real East Indian finger trap. Well, like they say, curry no favors and favor no curries. 
Although separatists get all the Press, most Punjabis and or Sikhs are not separatists and are loyal to their National government. Just as most people in Quebec and law abiding citizens and loyal to the government of Canada. Separatists are a conspicuous minority. 
Why would Trudeau be picking a fight with India? If I was PM, I'd choose to look the other way publicly, but privately have a closed door meeting or even phone call with India saying, "We understand that you were really upset with this guy. If there was an equivalent guy in our country, we'd want to do him in too. You're not going to be doing this too often if ever in the future, are you? If you are, next time let us know about it. Perhaps we can help you." The News said Trudeau wants the Sikh vote for the next election. Perhaps Jagmeet Singh goaded him into it. 
Would there be a war beteeen India and Canada? Is this a casus belli or else cause for war? If India was going to war with Canada over this, at this point India would already be having a civil war between the Sikhs and the Hindus. Would the Hindu majority Indian government be willing to fight a two front war? India has a billion people and Canada has 35 million people. If India invaded Canada, well, like the old guy in the stagecoach said in the movie Shaka Zulu, "We are all going to die!!" A billion people is so many people that you would think that they were sprouting from the walls and springing from the ground. 
Between already fighting a proxy war with Russia ie Canada sending surface to air anti aircraft missile technology to Ukraine and possibly fighting India after a global pandemic is like out of the frying pan into the fire. In other words, we're f*cked. 
Don't ever lose that imagination. The mind will paint pictures. 
Well, my advice is to go to Baba Lassi which has the best lassi in Varanasi. 
I hesitated to write that the killing of their leader set their movement back 20 years. A counterargument is that it accelerated their movement 20 years. 
Whoever the next leader is, the Indian government will want to kill him too like the Chinese government killed the Panchen Lama. 
I wonder if the son will follow in his father's footsteps. 
Ukraine is the breadbasket of Europe. The State of Punjabi is the breadbasket of India. Let's just called The State of Punjabi the Ukraine of India. 
What an East Indian rabbit-hole! 
That Trudeau is going to get us all killed! He really put his hand in a rats nest this time. His approach to this situation. A little more tact and diplomacy and bedside manner would be good. How would another Prime Minister have handled this? How can a person with one personaloty make the decision for a country with so many different personality vectors of opinion?
If India and Canada have a war, worst case scenario, India sends ballistic nukes which they have and which Canada does not. But India would nuke Surrey though. Whereas in a nuclear war with any other country, Surrey would not be as nearly a high priority a target. 
Again, the mind paints pictures. 

The word India is from the British derivation of the word that the Persian named India, Hindustan. The name the Indians themselves know the country as is Bharat. 

What India and the United States have in common is that a few of their leaders got shot. 
India: Indira Ghandi and Rajiv Ghandi and on Wikipedia list of assassinated Indian politicians, a lot of them got done in, MPs, Party leaders etc. It's a real megalothalon of death death death. 
United States: Garfield, Lincoln, McKinley, JFK. 
What Canada and Chjna have in common is that none of their leaders ever got done in. Think of every President of China. Did any of them ever get done in? Wrong! 

Trudeau upsetting India bears the dynamic of the leader of a country where none of their leaders ever got done in upsetting a country where some of their leaders and a whole lot of politicians got done in such as in the UK where Brexit politician Jo Cox get done in. 
PM Trudeau, you do you! Whatever you do is something that you think is right. 

A new Punjabi movie called Safarzade: The Princess and the Iron Horses is a movie I want to see. It is about a group of bikers who rescued a Princess from the evil clutches of her stepfather. It is filmed in the interior of BC. A Sikh doctor who had no actinv experience is the lead character. A sequel is planned. I might see this movie one day. 

Why is there a Prince of Wales but not Prince of Cardiff? 
Why is there a Duke of Edinburgh but not Duke of Scotland? 
A Prince ranks higher and thus presides over a country rather than a city like a Duke of Edinburgh or Duke of Cambridge or Duke of Sussex and Duke of Wessex etc. 

Tuesday, September 19, 2023

First woke up in panic. Then I thanked God for the gift of life and then remembered the little things I look forward to, a few puffs of tobacco, a YouTube video of music. 

The News said that John Mc Enroe is meeting up with Bjorn Borg again in a publicly televised event in Vancouver. Would there be a round of singles tennis? 
Bjorn Borg is legendary. 
John MacEnroe threw tantrums  on the tennis court. Do you remember those rock stars who used to smash their guitars into the floor? John MacEnroe was like that with the tennis racket. 
Tennis is a sport. Those who aren't good at tennis don't get depressed that they don't play tennis more often. 
Sex is a sport. Those who aren't good at sex do get depressed that they don't get sex more often. 
Sex is work and requires performance. Even women have to display a certain minimal level of performance and focus. 

I still fear the future as I watch my teeth go from my mouth one teeth at a time. Just about every year or every two years now I'm getting yet another tooth extracted. I fear dentures. I have bone loss in the mandibles or else jaw bones. Can someone like that still get dentures? Teeth are a defective and anachronistic algorithm. Humans still have the same teeth that they did during the ice age or even before. I greatly fear the future now. At age 53, it's all downhill from here and not in a good way. To make it from day to day takes effort. There's the hundred and one chores and things to do. It's a struggle and after that exertion, is there a reward at the end of it? At the end of it one goes from being old to being very old and death is after that which is the scariest thing of all. So after all that, not only do you get no reward, you get punished. 
Existence is a trap. Die young, you lose. Go through old age, you lose. Die, you lose. Existence is a no win situation and a trap. 

A vision of the future me:
The good news: I got a red 1988 BMW 325i, 4 door and refurbished. 
The bad news: I'm living in my red 1988 BMW 325i. 
Well, let's hope not! 

There is a wishing tree st Colwood village in Victoria BC. Wishes are written on small cards and are tied to the tree. Sometimes a reply will be later on tied on to the wish. 
I would wish for to be free from fear of the future. I would wish to be happy and blissful. 
Other than that I still wish for a 1988 model BMW but it has to be in good condition. What's the use of wishing for a 35 year old car? That's not a wish. That's a hang-up. 

The mind paints a picture of the future and not just one picture. It paints millions of pictures. What will happen next week, next month, a year from now, 5, 10, 20 years from now. All those pictures are wrong. 
Those pictures are subjective but are mistaken for objective. 
Without enough information how can one know what ten years later will present? 

Today I only went to Shoppers Drug Mart. I got condensed milk, cream soda, General Tao's chicken and sugar. The sugar and the milk is for tea and coffee which I'm drinking again. For some reason caffeine no longer gives me the anxiety it once did. For weeks at coffee hour after Church I turned down coffee saying that caffeine gives me anxiety. I think some people prayed for me and now I no longer feel anxiety when drinking caffeine. 

Wednesday, September 20, 2023

Today I mailed a $20 donation to the RCMP Police department for the Police charity called Tour de Rock. Then I went to Rogers cable to pay my monthly internet bill. 
Rogers bought out Shaw cable in a non hostile takeover corporate merger. 
I didn't go to Walmart. I haven't seen Heather in over three weeks. When I go there, she usually isn't home. Her scooter is still being repaired. Once it's repaired, then she can and probably will visit me. Unless she dies. Her health is so compromised I always think that she'll die soon. But this is the same person, me, who thought that 2 years ago, I'd be dead in less than two years. 
I had exhaustion and burnout so bad that I felt rocks rolling around in my head and a steam iron hot burning feeling jn my stomach. I never felt so much pain before or since. I thought and still think it might be with me forever. 
But people went through more painful things like possibly multiple gun shots that caused injury to their viscera. That is way more painful than exhaustion or burnout. Yet a lot of them revered and haven't felt any pain in years if not decades.

My worry. As more of my teeth get extracted I worry that I won't be able to afford dentures then I'll be toothless and die of starvation. Or I'll get dentures but screw up in the usage of the dentures and as more of my teeth get extracted it will cost more mkney and hassles to add extra teeth to the dentures. I fear I won't be able to get though all that. 
My teeth are an ancient anachronistic defective vestigial algorithm. Teeth have remain unchanged in humans since even before the ice age. 
My teeth are ghastly and wretched. I have dental illness. I am dentally ill. And probably mentally too. I wouldn't put that past the realm of possibility. 
I'm doomed. My partial dentures were estimated to cost $984. Maybe I can go to Kool Aid which offers free dentistry even dentures for homeless people or people living below the poverty line like yours truly. Or I could go to the University to the student dental clinic. It costs less but compared to my dentist they don't have that much experience. 

I hope to one day lose my fear of the future. I fear what will happen when I'm 60 and then 70. Would I even live to 70? And for what? Will I ever get married or be single for life? 

Whether I'm rich or poor, married or single, successful or unsuccessful, I will always remember to thank God for the gift of life which is somewhat better than a really rich person who it wouldn't occur to them to ever thank God for the blessings jn their life and for the gift of life. 
This is better than even the poor person who doesn't smoke anything while the millionaire is addicted to tobacco and weed too. Or the poor person who practices meditation often while the millionaire never ever meditates ever. 

I fear that my future is a road once followed down far enough will lead to me acquiescing and working for Heather and being her servant for the next ten or twenty years. I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Or if I don't work for her, I feel guilty that I abandoned her. I hate people and situations that paint me into a no win situation corner. My life is a problem now. 
Anxiety comes from specific situations in life. They don't appear for no reason. No win situations always equal anxiety. 

4 wildland firefighters died in a car crash after hours of fighting forest fires. They survived hours of firefighting intense forest fires only to die in a car crash. How senseless. 
This reminds me of General George Patton. He survived World War 2 only to die in a car crash after being repatriated. 

Today the Police had their hands full as they busted a few protesters at the SOGI protest rally as the Legislature. 
I think that SOGI shouldn't be taught at elementary and middle school. Only in senior high school should they be taught about such a topic and even then the teaching would be brief with the words, "Most people are heterosexual. However some are not. Some people even want to be a different gender. Different strokes for different folks. You have to decide what is right for you. If you want to learn more, do it on your own time and learn from the internet, that's if you want to as many of you would prefer to avoid the topic altogether." 
Traditionally, most people learn about alternative lifestyles while they are in college or University. University is all electives so if your electives don't overlap with a class where they would teach SOGI, I guess you wouldn't learn about it. 
Lots of people drop out of university. Well, I the wide world outside of any kind of school you can still learn about whatever you want to learn from the internet. 

Thursday, September 21, 2023 

Last day of summer. 

Leonardo di Caprio is going to be in a movie called Killers of the Flower Moon. It is based on a true story. 
In the 1920s, the Osage people were per capita the richest people on Earth. Their territory occupied oil wells. They rode limousines, wore fur coats, drank champagne and sent their children to study in Europe. Then one day they died one after another under mysterious circumstances. The then newly formed FBI sent agents including a Native undercover agent to investigate. 
That's ghastly and sinister. 
The FBI was formed in the mid 1930s under FDRs New Deal, make work project, alphabet soup government agencies. 
LdC sure likes to do historical period piece movies like the Aviator, the Revenant, The Great Gatsby, Romeo and Juliet and now Killers of the Flower Moon. 
I thought of reading the book but it would be depressing reading. I don't like to read books about people getting killed. 
In the hills of Osage county Oklahoma, small flowers such as Johny jump-ups and spring beauties and little bluettes grow. Then larger flowers like black eyed Susans and spiderworts grow above the little flowers stealing their light. Deprived of light, the necks of the small flowers break castings petals all over the meadows which are then reclaimed by the Earth and buried under neath. This happens in May when wolves howl under a very large moon. The Osage Indians refer to May as the time of the flower killing moon. 

My life is edgy. One problem after another. Next week I get yet another tooth extracted. 

I am under the impression that the cops want to bust me. I'm not like a gangster who can stand up to the Police. I basically fold under Police pressure. I'd be like putty in their hands. 
Well if the cops wanted to bust me, I wouldn't be too difficult to find. 
William Burroughs wrote in Interzone something along the lines of, "If the authorities wanted to locate anyone in town, they could be found in less than ten minutes. So if someone approaches you with a story that they are on the run from the law, it is a prelude to a touch." Misquoting but the meaning is there. 
Someone told me that the cops have been wanting to bust me for two months. Baffling. Even if someone was busted and sent to the dock, it's not like they have to sit there and take it. The Province will usually provide some kind of lawyer. Still the thought of being busted is terrifying. 
Some rock stars like Justin Bieber got busted lots of times yet their careers are still there. 

So it's been an edgy week. 

India revokes travel visas for Canadians. Canada would be expected to reciprocate. In a country already with a staff shortage, there goes the new talent for doctors, security guards, fast food workers, and politicians with genuine political talent. 
The India says they won't be sending any Indian workers to Canada during this administration. Therefore Trudeau is forced to resign. This is one imaginary scenario. Revoking visas is not good. The situation is ramping up. 

Fear all day. I am so desensitized to fear that fear just simply numbs me. I thought of what the person said. I wonder if I'm going to get busted. Then I get another tooth extraction. Why must life always be trouble to me. I don't sense that I'm trying to give life trouble as much as life seems to try to give me trouble. In any town one travels to, they can run into trouble. Every big city and small town in the World has trouble. 

Now I'm worried. Again. What were the chances of that? Will India nuke Surrey BC? Will the cops bust me? 
There's more of a chance of the cops busting me than of India nuking Surrey. There's more of a chance of India nuking Surrey than of the cops busting me. Either statement sounds equally true and either statement is supposed to sound good, but do they? 

You wonder why I fear the future. 

Today, I went for coffee with a friend at Church. Strictly and purely platonic. She is a very kind lady and a good spirit. I really like her. 
I feel some anxiety now. Slight panic. 

I got my cell phone reactivated. I only use the phone for outgoing calls. I turn off the phone as soon as I don't use it. Other people I know do that with their phone too. 
I tried calling my Church friend today but the phone automatically dialed Heather so I spoke with her briefly. I miss her and I love her. 

Today President Vlodomir Zelenskyy visited Ottawa in Canada and addressed the Parliament of Canada. I don't really care about that. 
Honestly, I kind of think Zelenskyy is a troublemaker. He urges countries to donate munitions and military technology therefore coalescing countries together Ina proxy war with Russia which is a dangerous move. 
What if Russia all of a sudden says, "Never mind all this sneaky proxy war nonsense. We're going to take all of NATO on directly."
Thst it's Zelenskyy of Ukraine is incidental. Any head of state who goes around to other countries trying to scriunge whatever munitions they can is an egregious troublemaker. If an arms dealer does that, he is a bad person. If a head of state does Thst, he is a hero. 
Ukrainian is very similar to Polish. Lots of overlapling words like dobre, tak, smaczne, etc etc 
In 1795 Poland was invaded by Russia and partitioned into three parts, Austria, Prussia and Russia. 
Anyways, Canada should say to Ukraine, "We weren't involved when the fight between you and Russia started. Either hold your own and agree to fight Russia under your own strength or else just surrender immediately and see what terms you can negotiate. Make some kind of deal. Don't try to rope all of us into your hornet's nest. Aren't you already half Russian anyways?" 

Today in Coquitlam in Pinetree Way and Glen Drive which is a place I never visited before ever, there was a shootout involving a resident who lives in a nice condo. A shootout ensued and Constable Rick O'Brien of the RCMP got shot and died on scene. That must have been horrible. Anaphylactic shock, HPA axis tweaked on maximum overdrive, massive panic attack and then the cold embrace of death. 
RIP and condolences. 
O'Brien. George Orwell 1984. Room 101. 
A Police Officer tweeted about the incident tweeting, "The Police protect the public. Where is our protection?" 
How could the general public protect the Police in this case. There was a Police cordon with yellow Police tap around the building. If any member of the public tries to cross the Police line saying," I want to see if I could help Police Officers in the building. I even brought a gun with me. Glock 9mm. I am licensed to carry."
What do you think the Police on scene would say? "Go ahead. It's good to know that while we're trying to protect the public, the public is also protecting us."
The attendant RCMP Officer on scene would say. "This is a Police incident. Members of the public are not permitted to cross. Move along. Go away!" 
Not only is it a sad day for the Police. It's a sad day for all of us. 

A rhetorical question as Where is our protection? Is as rhetorical as Why did PM Justin Trudeau turn down a Presidential suite opting to stay at where he chose tok stay and why did PM Justin Trudeau turn down the use of a National executive airplane opting to travel with his own plane and be stranded in India for two days?*
Trudeau or any other head of state would not stay in any rooms or any travel on any planes that his own security forces haven't swept and this procedure can take a week. 
*source: Khalistan Row: Trudeau Avoids Questions, India Halts Visas for Canadians, Vantage with Palki Sharma. from uploader Firstpost. YouTube

Saturday, September 23, 2023

Emily Carr, born in December and died in March. 
Same as Jesus, more or less. 

Today I went to the walk in clinic. I had a small pimple on my genital area which has since grown into a large wart. I glanced it with a safety pin and squeezed. There was quite a bit of clear pus liquid with lots and lots of small timy clumps of white cheese. I since applied acne cream and also antibacterial cream. 
These things are usually nothing to worry about and go away on their own in a few weeks. 
Then I walked to Craigdarroch Castle. I went to a Chinese restaurant for lunch. 

Today Heather visited me. She came here on her wheelchair. She took the bus. She visited for 20 minutes and then I pushed her back to her apartment. I haven't seen her in 4 weeks. I do love her. 

I went to the walk in clinic today. I had a pimple on my genitals which I popped but had since grown into a large pus filled wart. It's so big that it's like a third testicle! 
Later in the evening, I clipped a small slit opening with my hangnail clippers. Then I squeezed. Hard. For 15 minutes. Thick dark colored blood and lots of pus which was clear liquid with lots and lots of tiny chunks of white cheese. That's what drained out. After squeezing, I applied benzoil peroxide shampoo to the area. I cleaned it in the shower then I applied fucidin Leo Leo antibacterial cream. 

Sunday, September 24, 2023

Went to the Presbyterian Church again. I met the old guy, Don, in the hallway. My mistake I asked about what work he wanted me to do or help with. I should have said nothing. He already said last week, "If you don't want to do it then I won't mention it." Yet from curiosity I asked what the job was when I should have just said nothing. That's my damned personality. Now I'm worried that I got myself co-opted into some weird work. 

I'm not aware that I am wanting to give life itself trouble but life seems to like to give me trouble. 
Worried about that guy at Church asking me to do some kind of work. 
Worried about my tooth extraction tomorrow. 
Worried about Heather. 
Worried that the cops want to bust me. 

I do have my issues and problems which I project onto the canvas of life and jn return life seems to give me these troubles. 

Life without teeth. I think I might be edentulous one day. In a million years all people will be edentulous. Teeth are vestigial, defective and not really necessary. A person can live on soft and liquid foods. A person with no teeth might need to invest in a blender. Steaks in a blender. Whether the food is chewed or run through a blender, either way it ends up as a mush in the stomach anyways. 

Monday, September 25, 2023

A tea shop in Maple Ridge got vandalized twice. The first time some one broke a window and sprayed bear spray. The second time, a smoke bomb was thrown in the store, again, after breaking a window. No items were stolen. No other stores were targeted. 
Like with the 7-11 tire slashing, this is a crime of passion rather than of opportunity. 
Sherlock Holmes would think this. 
I'm guessing that due to the present cultural climate and recent events, the vandals were anti-SOGI and the tea shop owner is pro-SOGI. It could be that they met at a pro/anti SOGI protest and argued but that doesn't explain how the vandals knew she owned a tea shop. Probably during an online chat or even YouTube comments argument, she had an argument against an anti-SOGI person and the person checked her tag and found out she owns the tea shop. That tag might have even had a link to her tea shop's Facebook  account. 

I got my tooth extracted. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. It was a bit edgy yet I was calm and not scared. One less thing to worry about. 
What I feared was the needles. I thought that I would be harpooned. I didn't feel anything or felt very little. Dentistry has improved since the 50s. It isn't that painful anymore. 

I fear life and I fear the future. I hope that God can teach me not to fear the future nor to fear life nor to fear what happens after life. Those are the great cardinal fears of all humans. 

The growth on my genitals has shrank greatly. There is still a small ball of hard flesh but that the residual formation of the large zit. It takes a few days to shrink completely. 

Today a delegation from British Columbia went to visit Ottawa including the Premier and a few Cabinet Ministers. Ostensibly it was a routine trade delegation to discuss various policies and implementations. The presence of the few politicians was a red herring that diffuses the importance and seriousness of the mission. What it was really about is that the Premier wants to ask the Prime Minister "What the heck exactly is going on? Your statements about India and Surrey BC directly affect the people in my Province. They're worried." 

Tuesday, September 26, 2023

Today, Vantage with Palki Sharma said that Apple says that by 2027, 50% of Apple phones will be made in India. She also said some Chinese people didn't like that and wrote messages like. 
"If you open the iPhone, you can smell the curry. It's natural over there and hygienic." Or words to that effect. 
That's xenophobia and prejudice. 
I myself being Chinese, would love it if I ever got an iPhone made in India. It would be a high quality cell phone. I would love the cell phone from India as Will Ferrell as Chazz in Blades of Glory loved his hair brush from Italy. 
"I love this brush far more than I could ever love any human baby." Blades of Glory 
I trust East Indians as I would trust people of any Nationality. 
There's always exceptions but the vast majority of East Indians are more together than I am. They don't live in fear or fear the future as I do. They don't talk about being afraid of being old like I do. They don't have anxiety like I do. They don't fear life like I do. 

I spent the day in a haze of fear and worry. Sometimes the slightest thought regarding any most trivial decisions gives me a minor panic attack. I believe that I'm psychologically doomed. 

Someone on YouTube said, "If you think you don't have what it takes to handle the future, remember that in five years from now, you won't be the same person. You will be a different person."
Yeah, but what if that person is the person who gets dementia in five years? 

In what wound up as a Parliamentary train wreck, a World War 2 guy fighting for the wrong side gave a speech in Parliament. This resulted in a public relations catastrophe and when the fallout was over, speaker of the house, Anthony Rota, no relation to ex-Canucks player Darcy Rota, was forced to resign which he did, a casualty of indiscretion. 
Now the government of Poland wants to extradite this guy named Huncka. 
This guy is probably shitting. Would Poland execute him? The News said the unit he was in took place in a massacre on a Polish village in World War 2. For that, he could get executed in Poland but at age 98, that's just cutting out the middleman. 
The name Huncka reminds me of the name Hulka from Stripes. 
"I'm Sergeant Hulka your drill instructor but you can think of me as Uncle Sam."
Bill Murray: "Uncle Hulka?" Stripes
Well, again, Vantage with Palki Sharma said that the Indian government tried a few times to have Hardeep Singh Nijjar extradited from Canada but he never was. 
Even though Nijjar was the head of a separatist terrorist group called the Khalistani Tiger Force, hoarded machine guns, arranged to have people done in in India, organized independence referendums, it's strange that he wasn't extradited. 

The News said that some Sikhs at the Gurdwara where Nijjar was killed have the video of his assassination but for some reason haven't released it. 
Maybe because it's what's referred to in the industry as a snuff video? The News might show it but it would be heavily blurred so it'd be like you saw the video but then again you didn't. 
I doubt you could see it on YouTube either. YouTube will take down any snuff videos. 

Wednesday, September 27, 2023

Spent the day worrying about the years ahead. I hope that God can teach me not to fear the future. 

Otherwise I went with Heather for her appointment with the hair salon. I often worry about Heather's health. I feel very protective towards her. She is sweet and I love her so much. 

Every day I wake up with a slight panic attack. What do I do today? Stay home all day. Boring. Go out for a walk also boring. Day in day out. 
I think my future is going to be lousy which is why I fear it.

Tuesday, August 22, 2023

August 2023

 Tuesday, August 1, 2023

Coincidence. I saw Heather at the lobby of my hotel. I had gone out and returned. Had I not returned at that time and returned even five minutes later, I would have missed her. 

Today I went to see Dinosaurs of Antarctica at the IMAX theatre. During the Permian era, dinosaurs called the Cryolophosaurus were the primary meat eaters. Tyrannosaurus would come later during the Jurassic and Triassic era.
Cryolophosauruses look like they are permanently wearing a tiara made of bone on top of their head. 
Small mammalian animals called Lystrosaurus were common during the end of the Permian era and after. During the end of the Permian era as glacial caps melted, this created more carbon dioxide and the World temperature rose so much that oceans were the temperature of very warm baths. Much of the land on earth resembled deserts. This caused the great dying which was an extinction event that was even more major than when the asteroid hit the earth killing all dinosaurs. The Great Dying as the movie described was "the mother of all extinction events".
For a brief period after the end of the Permian period and at the beginning of the Triassic Period, Lyatrosaurus were the dominant species on earth because their big feet allowed them to dig small tunnels and caves in the ground to escape any extreme temperatures.
Permian - - - > the great dying - - - > Triassic - - - > Jurassic - - - > Cretaceous - - - - > Chicxulub asteroid kills all dinosaurs - - - > Paleocene - - - > Holocene - - - > present era
Extinction events is called The Great Filter. There would be Moe intelligent technological species in the Universe but many of them have gone through and not survived extinction events which hit all planets from time to time. 

Ever since the time of the dinosaurs, life has always had a lot of violence and trouble. There is an undercurrent of violence and trouble especially on some days at fast food restaurants in the inner city.  This undercurrent of violence and trouble on this planet will go on for millions of years. The cobblestone gasoline alley feeling of trouble that a person gets when they're coming down off cocaine can be felt without doing any cocaine at all. 
Like the famous song said, "This is a life of confusion, wrapped up in trouble, laced in confusion, what are we doing here?" 
Think twice before deciding to reincarnated on this Earth. The terms of life are ghastly. One day you will have to grow old and/or die. Growing old is a decline. Growing old is like being young in reverse just as Autumn and Winter are each other in reverse and Spring and Summer is each other in reverse. 

Today I went to Noodle Box and got something to go.

Then I stayed home all day.

Wednesday, August 2, 2023

I met up with Heather. We went around downtown. 

Other than that, I am still working on my Smurf Magical Meadow village. I got new land expansions. It's best to patiently wait for the items needed for land expansions. That way one can gather and accumulate coins from farming and from goldfish bowls. If one pays for the acorns otherwise needed for land expansion, one would suddenly have the land expansion but without the coins needed to get items for the land expansion. 

Much as I love Heather, I don't know if I could be her servant cleaning up her apartment for the next ten years. I don't want to be anyone's servant for the next ten years. 
Heather is a bit of a dullard but so am I or why would I hang around with her? 
In the movie The Banshees of Inisherin, Colm Doherty didn't want to be friends with Padraic Suilleabhain, or else Patrick Sullivan anymore. Colm said he only had so many years left to live and he didn't want his last years to be taken up with hanging around with a dullard like Padraig. 
Colm was a bit of a dullard too evident in his chopping off his fingers or else why would he hang around with Padraic?
I don't want my 50s to be defined by being a servant to a dullard, covering up for laziness, clumsiness and retardation. I hope the friendship between me and Heather ends one day but on the most amicable terms. Be careful what you wish for. 
There is a sweetness to Heather. I do love her very much and I am emotionally linked to her. I want her to be comfortable which is why I work for her. 

That's life. You don't want to be friends with someone who has more problems than you because they'll pull you down to their level. But people who are more fortunate don't want to be friends with you because they think and rightly so that you'll pull them down. It's really difficult to find a friend who is exactly on your level. A friendship where esch other lifts each other up and each walks away feeling happier instead of walking away feeling drained and intellectually and emotionally ripped off. 

PM Justin Trudeau is separating from his wife Sophie Gregoire. This is certainly a shock. I thought they'd be together forever. They seemed to be the model of marital stability. 
PM Justin Trudeau's parents separated. But that was because Margaret Trudeau was a party animal. She partied with the Rolling Stones and others. She was on a different level than Sophie Gregoire. 
No one separates unless they got someone better to go to. Few people separate and are left high and dry. I'm guessing that the PM and his wife each are having affairs. Therefore the separation was mutual. 
PM Justin Trudeau legalized cannabis. That makes up for everything. A lot of people didn't agree with Trudeau freezing the bank accounts of those in the Truckers Convoy and calling the Truckers terrorists. But that's the way it goes in just about all countries. No country tolerates dissidents. Trudeau was doing what was politically natural. 
Hopefully when the Conservatives come to power that they don't repeal cannabis legalization. The cannabis industry brings in a lot of tax revenue. 
But even during Conservative PM Stephen Harper's time, cannabis was more or less ipso facto decriminalized and the Police have more serious issues when it comes to drugs to deal with like hard drugs being the white powder drugs like cocaine, heroine, meth and fentanyl. 
Whatever the story behind this is, it must be a doozy. For a woman to divorce her husband who is a head of State during his term of Office. Head of State is a rock star job. The best hotels, private planes or else flying in first class always etc. That's if she initiated it. 
If he initiated it, it would also be highly unusual as he would be taking a hit on his political reputation. At one time, in the 50s, it would have been really scandalous for anyone to divorce let alone a politician. In this day and age with the suburbanization of neck tats and body tattoos, divorce hardly seems shocking at all. Politicians used to represent stability. Now politicans represent normality of a life of perfect imperfections that all of us go through. 
Will PM Justin Trudeau remarry and when? 

Eckhart Tolle said that a person divides themself when they say, "I love myself." or else, "I don't like myself." Who is the one that likes and who is the one that is liked?

I watched the Whitney Houston based movie I Wanna Dance With Somebody. It was a good movie. It talked about Whitney Houston's life from when she started singing when she was very young to adulthood and then finally she died in a bathtub at a hotel. Her song You Give Good Love is on another level. It's like the song is from another planet and a more heavenly planet. Her first two albums are the best albums. But the first one is the most best and intense. It is Whitney Houston at her youngest in the business and the album cover looks heavenly. That album has great songs. 

Thursday, August 3, 2023

I went to a supermarket today. Then I got a haircut today. Other than that I stayed home. I spend a lot of time at home. 

Growing old and eventually one day dying could be like going to the dentist to get a tooth extracted. It is a somewhat uncomfortable situation but it winds up being not nearly as bad as you thought it would be. 

Friday, August 4, 2023

A good person to ask about God and any questions would be a DTh or a Doctor of Theology which is the highest degree that one could get at a Christian University. A doctor of theology would have unshakeable faith and would know without a doubt that God exists and has some empirical scientific evidence and also logical evidence regarding God's existence. 
I have doubts. I think that life is a product of random forces with the same chaotic elements of danger and trouble that has been on earth since the days of dinosaurs and probably even before that. 
A question in philosophy is "If the senses can be deceived sometimes, why wouldn't they be deceived all the time?" 

The Hollywood SAG or screen actors guild strike is about AI. Studios are thinking of using a person's likeness and image which the studio will own forever and use AI to cast them on as extras. Also AI could be used to write film scripts like Chat GPT is used to write exams at University. 
Comic con won't have superhero actors because the strike stipulates that an actor can't promote their movie work at events because that counts as work and crosses the pocket line. 
I learned all this from Grace Randolph. 
Directing movies is difficult. Stanley Kubrick said, "Directing a movie is like trying to write War and Peace while riding on a bumper car at an amusement park." Could AI direct movies? 
Today is the first day that Studio representatives will meet with leaders of the the SAG.

If AI could write a good book or a good movie that you could wind up liking despite yourself, despite of wanting to not like it, an argument could be made for AI. Writing is an art so it is subjective so that a human or AI could write a book, none better than the other. 

Today, I went to the James Bay Inn and then I walked to the beach and Beacon Hill Park. One of the beaches near Beacon Hill Park has unofficially become a nude beach, like a miniature Wreck Beach. 
When I went there, I saw two naked people there, but they were men. Offsetting. Gross. There were a couple of ladies there but they were wearing bikinis. 

Saturday, August 5, 2023

This morning, on Smurfs Magical Meadow, one of my golden knights just disappeared about 5 minutes after I got it. I already got one golden knight at the Blacksmith's Hut. Then this morning, I got another. I placed them together. Then the app just snapped off, disappeared from the screen. I started it up again and when I did, I noticed that one of the golden knights was gone. This is a caveat emptor. 
I am still willing to try for another golden knight. This app has things that make me want to keep playing it. I am going to get a $20 Google card. Then I can get about 360 magic acorns. 
25 acorns - snow fort
30 acorns - another golden knight 
218 acorns - a land expansion. 
Why do I bother? 
Catastrophic! After paying $12 for 250 magic acorns, and getting the snow fort 25 magic acorns, and two gold and two granite for the golden knight 30 acorns, and upgrading Hefty Smurf's hut to 2 stars, I lost my account. Everytime I signed in, there would be a different Smurf Magical Meadow villages, none of them mine. I logged out, shut down and tried again, each time never getting my village to pop up. The account is corrupted. 
The whole app is corrupted. I'll try again in a few hours. 
Smurf Magical Meadow is gone. Destroyed. Totally 100% unable to log into my old village. This app is dead. I can't log into my Smurfs Magical Meadow village for love or money.
For awhile, my naturally paranoid mind thought that the mafia commandeered my Smurfs Magical Meadow village. Yeah, sure. I don't know about you but everytime I think of the mafia, I'm thinking of the type of people who play Smurfs Magical Meadow. 

Growing old is like getting a tooth extracted at the dentist. I worry and worry beforehand. And on the day, it is a slightly edgy and uncomfortable experience but overall, not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. 

I think I'll be addicted to smoking tobacco and weed for life. Every day. I wonder how I'm going to handle the rest of my life. I don't know if I have what it takes to handle old age and then what happens after that? Nobody knows, really. 

In Vancouver, an 18 year old man was shot and killed by the Police at 5:30 this morning. 
The Police Officer who shot the 18 year old would be grilled by the supervisor. "Tell us exactly what happened. Police departments everywhere are having a strain on their public image after George Floyd." 
The News didn't say his Nationality but if he was White, there probably won't be a riot, but if he was Black, I'm worried that there could be a riot. However, White people in Vancouver will riot when Vancouver doesn't win the Stanley Cup after making it to the 7th game of the Stanley Cup Finals and into overtime too. There probably won't be a Rodney King style riot with stores looted in Vancouver. There aren't that many Black people in Vancouver. 
The 18 year old might have been a tweaker living in a tent at Clinton Park where the shooting happened. He might have been agitated and to avoid a repeat of the incident where Chinese Canadian female RCMP Officer Shaelyn Yang was stabbed and killed by a Korean teeaker living in a tent at a park. 
"We don't want a repeat of the Trenton incident." AI, 2003
The Korean tweaker Jongwon Ham was a film director who had directed a few films in Korea about 20 years ago. 
18 is too young to be a living in a tent at a park and smoking meth. Or is it? I don't know what the World is like these days. 
I hope that the community recovers from this. 

Sunday, August 6, 2023

I wake up in fear yet God always presents me with yet another beautiful day. 
I went to the Presbyterian Church this morning. It is a great place. I love the people at the Church. 
I've been drinking coffee and tea at Church again these last few weeks because for some reason caffeine no longer gives me anxiety. My anxiety has gone only to be downgraded and replaced with a low key fear all the time. But before it was high key fear all the time. 
A really good future for someone who is older like me is to be either a Mayor or if not that, a Minister at Church. I doubt I could be a Minister. I could picture the first words of my very first sermon:

"Hello. I'm Pastor Dean Noble. I want to start with a poem that won me the $100,000 prize for the worst poem ever written in Canadian history. I've since spent that money on cocaine and hookers so I would ask if you could give generously during offering. Anyways, here is the poem. 
"Suicide, baby. That's the way to do it
Get some heroin and get down to it."
Let me assure you that this is the first time and the last time I will ever go off topic as your Minister. 
Now. Turning to Proverbs 18:2."

"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding
But only in expressing his opinion."
Proverbs 18:2

That opening salvo would be enough to get me defrocked. 

Monday, August 7, 2023

Another boring repetitive day in a small fishbowl existence town. All towns eventually become a fishbowl. Existence. With small towns you reach that point in 6 months. With larger cities you reach that point in 2 years. 
I went to Craigdarroch Castle today. Certain music goes well with certain buildings kind of like wine pairings. The Doobie Brothers music goes well with Craigdarroch Castle. 
Didier Lockwood goes well with the Victoria Art Gallery. BB&Q Band's On The Beat goes well with Beckley Manor and Steely Dan the Lost Gaucho including songs like Talking Bout My Home, The Second Arrangement, Kind Spirit, Kulee Baba, and The Bear goes good with the Connections thrift store in Sidney BC. 
The Brother's Johnson - I'll Be Good To You goes good with Columbia Avenue at Sapperton in New Westminster. 
What songs go good with UBC?
All Ray Parker Jr hit songs, Marz - Move It, World Entity - Found That Love, BB&Q Band - On The Beat and Starlette, Fatback - Backstrokin', World's Famous Supreme Team - Hey DJ all go good with UBC. 
Any songs at all made during the 1970s goes good with Dawson Creek, BC. 
Look at the image of the building while listening to the song and there will often be blissful moments. 
Different songs will pair well with different buildings for different people. Building to song pairings are an individual phenomenon. It helps to know the buildings, to have actually visited the building and know it well. 

I went to the grocery store to get some ground beef and also bok choy. It's important to eat some vegetables and not only meat with rice. Vegetables are good for the health of the body. 

Tuesday, August 8, 2023

I went to Fisherman's Wharf. Then I went to a fish store. I visited Dino Lab which is near Fisherman's Wharf. It costs $40 for a one and a half hour tour. Pricey. Dino Lab shows dinosaur fossils. 

Wednesday, August 9, 2023

I went to look for Heather at an appointed time and place. She wasn't there. I was worried. 
I walked to a neighborhood near Christ Church Cathedral. 
Then I saw Heather waiting for me at my apartment building, in the hall. We went to Dollar Store and then to Chinatown the to a pizza restaurant. Both times at the Dollar Store and the Pizza Shop, Heather couldn't figure out how to use her bank card at the cashier. I had to step in and pay not once but twice. I should have known at the pizza shop that it would happen again. She gets in a jam and I have to bail her out. This happens often. The thing with her bank card with the cashier was another blast of retardation which is classic with her. 
I don't know how much longer I could be her friend. Quite honestly, I'd be happier if she wasn't jn my life. Then I have cleaning her apartment twice a week for life to look forward to. Or not. I hope the friendship between us ends one day. She is the source of my anxiety disorder. She doesn't drive her scooter that well and so is constantly running into things like store shelves. Something like that can certainly give anyone an anxiety disorder. 

Thursday, August 10, 2023 

Heather visited me. She stayed at my apartment for awhile. Her place was getting fumigated. 
She visited walking with a walker. She returned some money that I loaned to her. 
Another bad surprise. I was going to go to the Church for an event. But because Heather stayed longer than expected, I missed the Church event. 
On the way back to her apartment, I felt I had to walk with her. She sat down on her walker, facing backwards and asked me to push her. I pushed her but at one point I didn't know there would be a bump at the curb. After crossing the street and about to go up on the curb, there is a lop and the walker fell backwards along that lip and Heather fell down backwards and hit her head on the pavement. I was so scsred that she cracked her head on the pavement. But she didn't. She was fine. But she was heavy to lift up. She weighs about 400 pounds. Some people showed up and checked to see if she was OK and lifted her up. They were helpful people. 
I pushed her back to her apartment but at crosswalks, she got up and walked with her walker. 

Very day, it's some strange blasted retarded surprise. 
On one day, with the cash machine not working. But she did return the money and doing it using a walker which must have been difficult. 
Then the next day her falling backwards. But I did learn something about pushing someone kn a walker. This is a rookies mistake. And then I had the chance to see how  kind and helpful people are in this town when it comes down to the crunch. 

Friday, August 11, 2023

I walked to a neighborhood near the Church. There is an old house connected to a car garage. There must be some history in that house. Although the house is much older, it reminds me of memories of the 60s and 70s. 
There was also an apartment building called Buckingham Major which reminds me of Buckingham Palace. 
Lack of money and travel anxiety stops me from going to London to see Buckingham Palace in real life. 

I'm still smoking weed every day and multiple times a day. 

I also hope that the friendship between Heather and me ends. She gives me an anxiety disorder. She leaves me no good options. Either work for her being a caregiver and servant cleaning her dirty apartment or else just abandon her feeling guilt. But I've worked for her for long enough. I've done that longer than most people would. 

Saturday, August 12, 2023

Woke up feeling fear. I am still chained to Heather. The retarded surprises don't come that often with Heather but when they do, is it ever a doozy. I want to quit the friendship. I think that if I abandon her that she will be unable to clean up after herself and then die. She's not my responsibility. Nurses visit her 7 days a week. If her health gets worse, she'd be brought to a hospital. 
Heather gets a lot of health care. I wonder who she really is. She might be from an importsnt family. 

Anyways, I'm thinking of more or less ending the friendship or at least ending the work. I'd really feel better not having to work for her anymore. 
Thorsten Veblen, Theory of the Leisure Class said that the leisure class is defined by two things, 
1. Conspicuous consumption 
2. Absence of menial labour
Menial labour really does destroy the mental health. 

I have an appointment with her. I am planning to just skip that appointment and go somewhere else to avoid her. I feel scsred that if I avoid an appointment with her that she will die. That's delusional. I doubt she will die. She'll be OK. 
I hope that the friendship between me and her ends but in the most amicable way. 

Sunday, August 13, 2023

Went to the Presbyterian Church. After Church, I drank some coffee. 
Then I walked around. The harbour, the museum, past St Anne's Academy, then through a quite street of downtown to my apartment. 

Monday, August 14, 2023

This morning I got a $15 Google card. I got The Legend of the Golden Turd from the American Dad Apocalypse Soon app. This is usually a $129.99 value sold for $12.99. This deal offers 22,000 Golden Turds. Golden Turds are the premium form of currency in this world building app. Golden Turds can be likened to the golden hemorrhoids of the town of Ashdod mentioned in the Bible. 
A similar deal offers 14,000 Golden Turds for $119.99. 
With the Golden Turds I leveled up 3 Rogers to 5 stars at 2000 Golden Turds each. 
Then I got an extra builder for 2000 Golden Turds. Then I leveled up some characters and got the items needed for a room upgrade for another 1,000 GT's. 

In the afternoon I went to the dentist and got my teeth cleaned. There's no feeling in the world quite like having sickle scalers go up and down through your teeth. 

I then walked around. 

A few days ago, I found a Tommy Hilfiger bathrobe. It smelt wretched when I found it, like moldy sweat. I washed it in the washing machine and it's a nice robe. I think I found it last Friday. 

Tuesday, August 15, 2023

Stayed home all day. 

Wednesday, August 16, 2023

Heather visited me. 

Thursday, August 17, 2023

Stayed home all day. 

Friday, August 18, 2023

Walked around. 

Saturday, August 19, 2023

Went to get some groceries. 

Sunday, August 20, 2023

Went to the Presbyterian Church. The organist at Church played the hymn Londonderry Air from Henry Coleman. This hymn and others is where the tune for "Oh Danny boy, the pipes the pipes are calling." comes from. 

This week has been just awful for the people of LA Haina, Hawaii. A volcano erupted and on a small island with a population of 10,000, 1,500 are confirmed dead and another 1,500 are missing. 1,400 people died on the Titanic. With 1,500 dead on the small island of LA Haina, it makes this the worst maritime disaster since the Titanic! Well, no actually sometimes 3,000 die on ferries in Southeast Asia but those incidents are under reported. 

Also in BC, wildfires have 30,000 already evacuated are another 30,000 under imminent evacuation orders. The Province is in a State of Emergency although this is active in some parts of the Province and not in others. State of Emergency means
- travel restrictions 
- government controls highways 
- government controls supply lines 
- government controls price fixing
- government workers can commandeer any private vehicles at any time. Although this is not likely to happen. 
Much of BC looks like Silent Hill aka Centralia, Pennsylvania. Silent Hill world, baby! Why go to Silent Hill when Silent Hill can come to you. 

Yellowknife used to be known for sweeping Arctic vistas under tundra skies. Now Yellowknife too is under wildfire evacuation. 
The World is clearly getting worse. At this rate, in 200 years or less, there will be a massive extinction that hasn't been seen since the end of the Permian era. 

Permian - - - > the great dying - - - >  Triassic - - - > Jurassic - - - > Cretaceous - - - - > Chicxulub asteroid kills all dinosaurs - - - > Paleocene - - - > Holocene - - - > present era 

Seeing how the Earth is going to hell in a handbasket climatewise, I'm glad that I never had any children. The more fossil fuels and chemicals from factory smokestacks makes more carbon dioxide in the air. The increase of carbon dioxide is what ended the ice age but what also contributed to the great dying at the end of the Permian era when ocean waters were as hot as a warm bath and all land on Earth was a desert like Tatooine. 
Now a process that is destructive enough in its natural state is being accelerated with synthetic man made means. 

This is why I fear the future. The climate will be just awful and Earth will be wrecked. Give me the 1700s when the climate was otherwise great and all you had to worry about was being hit with musket shot during another battle on a field, no internet and no television or radio, and dying from things like a tooth abscess or most any injury since antibiotics wouldn't be invented until 1927. 
Not all centuries are equal. The 1800s had the Mount Krakatoa eruption and no eruptions in any century since have been that major. 

Monday, August 21, 2023

Stayed home for much of the day. I went out to get some sugar for coffee. I saw a friend who is a cashier at some store or other. I was able to talk with her for a few minutes. She is such a delightful sprite that the talking with her really made me happy. 

I don't go out much. I smoke weed all day now. From morning to night. Weed develops amotivational syndrome. One doesn't want to go out unless there is a good reason and there is an expectation to go there. 

A movie on a Christian channel is about a young girl who says that she saw God walking in the river, walking on the water. This God that she saw was probably anthroponorphic and a out 7 to 8 feet tall. That something the created the Universe is 8 feet tall and looks human and has the Earth has a predominant if not central part of his ongoing concerns and energy is incredible given the scale. 
The Universe could be the petri dish experiment that is the high school project of a Kardashev 7 alien. But that alien has only reached a certain standard or grade and not perfection in his experiment hence an imperfect Universe. And that aliens Universe could likewise be a high school pteri dish experiment of a Kardashev 8 alien and so on and so for quite a few levels and that each of these advanced high Kardashev levels aliens believes in God. That is how powerful God really is. 
With forest fires literally burning people out of house and home, I wonder how much God really is taking care of us. If God is outr insurance policy, how extensive is the coverage? 

Tuesday, August 22, 2023 

I was thinking of watching the movie Barbie. Grace Randolph said that actor Sima Liu said that the script of Barbie was the best script that he's ever read. Grace Randolph agrees after seeing the movie. 
PM Justin Trudeau went to see the movie Barbie with his son and the PM says that he's on Team Barbie. The PM tweeted that on Twitter. 
Video games used to be made after shows. Today shows are made after video games such as Uncharted, The Last of Us and Twisted Metal. 
And Star Wars is an example of action figures made after a movie. Barbie is an example of a movie made after an action figure. Trollz as well. 
Star Wars action figures. I don't know about you but every time I see a movie, I want to get a small plastic figurine of a character in that movie. 
When a person is 8 years old, they might have seen 20 movies that they really remember so getting actions figures of one of twenty movies that you've seen might be a good idea. But when one has seen hundreds if not thousands of movies, it becomes a case of, there are hundreds of movies I've seen and didn't get any action figures of it. What's one more? 
I feel the amotivational syndrome from smoking weed so I don't know if I'll go to the theatre and see Barbie. 

After seeing the success of Barbie, Star Wars decides to release some action figures unseen before in any movie. These action figures each have a very memorable design. Then two years later, a Star Wars movie will be released that portrays the action figures first nought two years ago thus becoming the first movie franchise to make action figures out of a movie and to make a movie out of action figures. Arguably, Star Wars already did that as they usually release the action figures a few months in advance of the next Star Wars movie. 

Meta blocks Canadian News. News is vital for safety. There are categories of News. Forest fire evacuation information is News. Kim Kardashian getting her newest sports car is not News. 
President Benjamin Harrison enacted the Sherman anti trust act to break up the hold of railway robber baron monopolies. The Sherman anti trust act has been replaced with more comprehensive Acts. Is there anti trust when it comes to the giants of Silicon Valley? Who knows. 
Would Meta block News from other countries? News from Canada isn't OK but News from Pakistan is. It probably has something to do with if American based social media companies display Canadian News, it has to pay a fee to the Canadian government. In an effort to waive the fees completely, there is a moratorium on Canadian News. So it would seem that this is a pecuniary or money based decision rather than a cultural or social policy. 
It's a cash grab on the part of the Canadian government. If it was protectionism and monopolization, it would be that non Canadian websites like Meta publishing Canadian News would be illegal. Period. But since its a cash grab its the non Canadian websites publishing of Canadian News is permitted pending financial payments. 
If a person wants Canadian News all they have to do is to go on a Canadian News website. 

I saw the movie Barbie. I was expecting Bertrand Russell earth shaking philosophical revelations about life. I didn't get that. It's a pretty basic story about Barbie who ventures from Barbie Land to the real world and learns some things about how to cope with life in general. Barbie seeks to make Barbie Land equally a matriarch as well as a patriarchy. The movie was all right. Barbie earned over a billion dollars at the box office. The movie has a very wide target audience that includes families and women and girls. 

Wednesday, August 23, 2023

Woke up with some fear. I fear a strenuous and tedious future. It's the repetition. Every week seems to be the same. I fear that my life is messed up and I am unsuccessful. And I will never be successful. Successful is successful in the 80s yuppie concept of the word. Successful means living in a nice place, house or condo, have a nice wife and have a nice car like a Mercedes or a BMW. I was never successful in life. 

Do I believe in an ordered and loving universe or else a random and indifferent universe? Appearances tend to make me believe in a random and indifferent universe. 
Random is a concept which is only apparent next to order. Without order to offset it, there would be no randomness. Belief in the random implies belief in order. 
The Universe of God has great intelligence and intricacy. There is the golden mean and there is also the Fibonacci sequence from the smallest atoms to the largest galaxies. 

I honor life and will go on living however despairing life gets. To honor life is to honor God. My life is in God's hands. He has a will and a plan for my life. I am not perfect. 

I went to the cable company and then to Walmart. 
I went to Chinatown to get some curried beef with rice. 
Then I went home. Heather visited. 

When I was in Chinatown, I saw an old 80s BMW at a used BMW dealership. It was a nice burgundy 2 door BMW 325i. It didn't have a license plate on it so it was probably for sale. I looked inside. The interior was atrocious. Scratch marks everywhere. 
The seats looked like they had huge chunks that a very large dog or dinosaur had bitten out. The steering wheel only had a unicolor, black, embossed plastic BMW insignia on it, not the multi color blue and white propeller insignia. The dash board looked unspectacular and underwhelming. An 80s BMW looked cutting edge in its day but compared to modern interiors of cars, 80s BMW interiors look primitive and antiquated.
It would cost thousands to have it restored to looking like new. It was what it was. 
If that was the interior, the motor must need an overhaul. Usually motors have more wear and tear from moving parts than a car interior. 
I don't care about getting an 80s BMW anymore. Maybe I never did. Cars are expensive to maintain. And you have to worry about the bad drivers of the road. Most things, ideally you use them severs hours a day, almost 24, like a television or a computer tablet. The things you don't use, at least they are in the same house if not same room as you. A car is only used less than 2 hours a day on average depending on whether you live in a big city or a small town. The rest of the time, the car is on the streets or in a parkade, unseen. One worries about whether someone would break in to it or steal it. I don't know if cars can still be hot wired like in the old days. Maybe they have a new design. I wonder how many reports the Police department gets of stolen cars. 

The News said that the two leaders of the Wagner PMC were killed in a plane crash. There was a second plane that flew away so they may or may not be killed. 
Yevgeny Prighozin and Dimitry Utkin are reportedly killed in a plane shot down by Russian military forces in a swift decisive Machiavellian strike from Putin himself. 
The United States General might say, "What are the Russians doing killing a leaders of a Russian based PMC?! That's our job!" 
Were they killed by friendly fire or else friendly friendly fire or unfriendly friendly fire? 
So the Chef is dead. He is the most famous chef who died in an explosion since the chef in the movie The Menu, Chef Slovik. 
The Wagner Group  attempted a coup against the Russian military and government in July in the most famous and intense Russian coup event since the storming of the Winter Palace in 1917. 
Tom Cruise did a movie called Valkyrie about a high ranking Germany military officer who rebelled against the leadership and government and attempted a coup during the Second World War. This coup leader was caught and then executed. It seems like we got a little bit of that going on here. 
Are Prighozin and Utkin really dead? If they are, that is major. Really major. I guess there's no more Wagner Group. Since the Wagner Group attempted a coup, the Russian government would hate them and anyone associated with them as much as the British government hated Guy Fawkes and anyone he was associated with. 
This curious infighting has resulted in a bizarre development in the soap opera court intrigues of the Russian-Ukraine conflict. The Wagner Group was supposed to help Russia against Ukraine. Instead this happens. 
The Wagner Group operated within a strange Venn diagram of typical cross military alliances. They were essentially multitasking, fighting Ukraine while simultaneously expediting a coup against Russia. Would that be the same as fighting a two front war? The logistics of that must have been a nightmare. 
Final score:
Russians - 1
Ukrainians - 1
Wagner Group - 0
The Wagner Group was anti Semitic. Was Mossad involved? 
Now that the leader of the Wagner Group is dead, there is now a power vacuum.  
Russia has one less resource of military support available to them in their fight against Ukraine. 
Putin must have been really pissed at the leaders of the Wagner group. Usually he just has his enemies poisoned with neurotoxin. 
The Russians have the black box of that plane. Ukrainians shot down a plane in 2014 and kept the black box refusing to surrender it to international investigators until the UN sent in a team of peacekeepers. It was then that the Ukrainians gave up the black box. 
A movie or TV series eponomously titled PRIGHOZIN should be made with Stellan Skarsgard as Prighozin. 

India landed a craft on the moon. 
I doubt anyone could have gone to the moon. Around the Earth surrounds a sheath sort of like the pericardium is a sheath that surrounds the heart. This sheath that surrounds the Earth is called the Van Allen belt with supercharged radioactive particles so supercharged that the Van Allen belt has a temperature of ten million degrees Celsius. Even a two inch barrier of lead surrounding a spacecraft would weigh thousands of pounds let alone the amount of lead needed to insulate humans aboard a space capsule. 
Probably inanimate objects could go through the Van Allen belt but at 10 million degrees Celsius, wouldn't they all melt? 
Asteroids and meteorites went through the Van Allen belt and landed on Earth. King Tutankhamen was buried with a knife which blade was made of meteorite stone. Meteorite is very heavy. I saw a meteorite at the Vancouver Space Centre st the Museum of Vancouver. It's very heavy and dense. A meteorite stone knife if sharpened, could easily slice through armour and bone. 
A meteorite is older than the Earth itself. A meteor was already solid rock at a time before the Earth solidified. 

Thursday, August 24, 2023

I went to the James Bay Inn and had a mimosa and apple pie. It came to $24 with tips. Mimosa is champagne or else sparkling wine with orange juice. American Dad Apocalypse Soon has the Morning Mimosa tournament. From that tournament I already won 3 nautiluses, a future teller and a Pandora's box. 
I then went to the beach and then to Thrifty Foods. I got a kale and orange juice drink for $6. Kale is a really good source of antioxidants. Antioxidants fight free radicals in the lungs that come from car exhaust fumes and also from smoking. 

Trump got arrested, and processed with inmate number PO1135809. Is that for real? I never thought a US President would be in jail to the point of getting an inmate number. This was a fate that Nixon had otherwise evaded. 
Well, all is not lost for Trump. Brazilian President Lula had formerly spent a few months in prison for a Trumped up financial corruption charge. It would not however be to say that Trump is in prison to whatever extent for a Lulaed up election irregularities charge. 
The United States isn't like Russia. Trump attempted a coup against Joe Biden. However Trump did not share Prighozin's fate. 
Imagine: In order to raise money for his upcoming Presidential bid as well as his legal fees, Donald Trump decides to release a 3 hour podcast that includes him singing and playing 2 songs on the acoustic guitar. Thinking of Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison, he decides to name the podcast Donnie Trump at Fulton County Prison which would be released on CD only in a time when podcasts are usually released on digital streaming only. However less than an hour after the release of the CD, several uploaders already uploaded a few copies of the podcast in YouTube and on other websites. 
Trump got released on bond. So much for the podcast CD. 

The News has a story about a fake Uber driver who tried to abduct a woman on Store St in this town. The News said that the suspect is somewhere between age 20 and 40. That's quite the range. 20 and 40?! Well that certainly narrows it down. 
Between 20 and 40. What next? The suspect was somewhere between the age of 10 and 70. He could have been 10. He could have been 70.

Friday, August 25, 2023

Woke up in fear. I fear the future. I fear life. I also fear death. 
I think I'll have some fear every single day for the rest of my lore which gives me more fear. I think I'm doomed. 

I spite of this, I thank God for being with me even amidst my fears. I don't see God or understand Him. My faith or what little of it I can bring up, faith the size of a mustard seed is what helps me to remember that God is with me. 

The foundation leads to a structure. 
The foundation is a normal city guy, be a person who is religious and has faith. 
The structure is the superhero and adventurer. In life one goes through phases of being either the foundation or the structure. A well developed foundation leads to a good structure. But during the structure phase, one gets burned out and loses touch with some foundational basics. That is when one has to reconnect with the foundation and work on what parts of the foundation one has lost touch with. Then one is, in time, the structure again because that is what one yearns to be. One can go from foundation to structure back to foundation etc etc a few times during their life. 
I am at the foundation again being the normal city guy, and one who yearns for religious guidance. One day, I will be the structure again which is Jedi Knight, Indiana Jones adventurer, Tron future warrior. This is the ideal anyways. Whether or not this is ever the reality....
I might be stuck at the foundational phase for life. 
Joseph Campbell talked about that. The struggle, the arc, the archetype of the hero. George Lucas used this model in the movie Star Wars. Joseph Campbell also said this is a cycle and a person can go through this cycle more than once in life. This happens all the time, a reticent conformist person comes into their own and becomes brilliant at their talents and dreams, artistry, performance, travel and then gets a nervous breakdown or is overwhelmed and then rdverts back to being the ordinary person and then finds their way back to being a hero again. 

Saturday, August 26, 2023

Me and Heather went to the hair salon. Then we went to Tim Hortons. 

I saw the movie the Wrath of Becky. Good movie. Lots of over the top violence and gore. 

Sunday, August 27, 2023

Went to a Chinese Presbyterian Church. Then I went to Chinatown and got a chicken fried rice. I went home the rest of the day.

For a few Sundays in a row, at 4pm, I watch Christ Church Cathedral Evensong Service on their YouTube channel. The music is very beautiful. 

Monday, August 28, 2023

Went to Shoppers to get a Google card. Then I decided to go rogue and get a coffee and a muffin. I got the hamster & turtle and then I got the dog completing the pet collection. I already previously got the white rat, the cat and the Royal flush toilet as the housepets. 
Then I got the premium membership for TJ or TearJerker's casino and spins with the golden premium dice. Etc etc Extra prizes including chests with uniforms and weapons but I never got any weapons or uniforms in any of the chests Iopened so it was a bit of a waste of money. 

Heaven could never be heaven if a person brings their negative attitude or involuntary fear and panic and anxiety with them in the afterlife. I still feel some fear every day. I fear the future. 

I stayed home all day. Again. Smoking weed makes a person stay home. I'm back on the 24 hour a day permastone again. In other words, I've reverted to previous programming. 
There was a thunder and lightning and hail storm today. That's not good going for a walk weather anyways. 

On Sunday, some people were expecting to attend a Taylor Swift themed brunch and/or an ABBA drag queen themed brunch. It looks like someone pulled a swift one on them. 
A Taylor Swift thmed brunch was in Vancouver on Saturday and that happened successfully. 
Taylor is an anagram of Royal-T in other words, royalty. 
Taylor Swift is a great singer. 
ABBA was a great band, one of the best in music history. I once woke to the song Chiquitita playing in my mind and the emotions that were with it made me softly weep tears of joy as I woke up. 

A lot of concepts wouldn't exist at all except as a relative value to offset another relative value. There would be no poor without rich, there would be no young without old, there wouldn't exist a large without a small and vice versa etc etc. 

Tuesday, August 29, 2023

I didn't go out much today if at all. Actually, I went to the beach. I don't know. This is two days later. I already forgot what I did on this day. 

Wednesday, August 30, 2023

Went to visit Heather. She wasn't there. I walked to Craigdarroch Castle. I went to Pic A Flick video and got a movie called The Iron Lady. It's a movie about British PM Margaret Thatcher. 

Thursday, August 31, 2023 

Today, I went absolutely crazy and altogether got a $30 Google card and then making a second trip to Shoppers Drug Mart, I got another $15 Google card. 
On American Dad Apocalypse Soon, I got the eagle which I named Sam and I got a Christmas Reindeer which I named Dancer. These were $14.55 each. Then on the second Google card, I got the black cat which I named Herbessa reminding me of my old Guinea pig who's been dead for 23 years now. Mr Bojangles had a dog that died years ago, but he mourns him still. I'm kind of like that with Herbessa. 
These pets are obtained at the ephemeral CIA Yard Sale. This event lasts for only 7 days so I had only a 7 day window to get the eagle, the reindeer and the black cat or else Sam, Dancer and Herbessa. 
Sam the Eagle was a Muppets character and he once said, "I refuse to dignify that question with an answer." 

Today, I also got some Life brand extra strength bismuth salicyclate aka pepto bismol. 
These days, drinking tea and coffee, the tannins are giving me some very fierce acid reflux. Bad but not quite off the charts but still pretty bad. 
Bismuth is an element on the periodic table. And I'm ingesting it. Bismuth is  83 on the periodic table. Lead is 82. 

At Shoppers, I saw a friend of mine who is Catholic. She bought a lottery ticket. Even though she is a Christian, she is into gambling or the lottery which is bad. A perfect Christian has no vices at all. I didn't know she was into gambling, playing the lottery. It shocked me. I thought she was a perfect Christian. The lottery is known as the idiot tax. The odds are one in literally millions in winning. 

American Dad Apocalypse Soon seems like a high quality American app. It doesn't fall apart and lose a lot of your data like Smurfs Village and Smurfs Magical Meadow. On Smurfs Village I lost all my peripheral world such as the grove, the mountaintop, Planet Swoof, the island etc. On Magical Meadow, my entire world has been completely lost. Do that to me once and I never play the app ever again. 
On ADAS, the pets aren't an ephemeral purchase like an afternoon at the zoo or a restaurant meal. This app will be around for years to come although how many, who knows? The pets are a permanent addition to my Rogers House. It's a gift that keeps on giving and the pets pay for themselves after two months. They pay for themselves because their sheer presence grants a resource collecting bonus. Two months of bonus resources and the value thereof would be equal to the initial monetary value of the pets. 
Americans have a different vibe. They have a muscular tension. Americans are very admirable and notable people. I wonder if I could be an American. I have a lot of talents and I value knowledge which is what a lot of Americans are also known for. 
I'd like to visit the United States but I have a checkered past, a hard scrabble youth, so I don't know if I would be admitted into the US. Visiting Vancouver is expensive enough let alone visiting anywhere else. I don't know if I'll ever see the inside of an airplane ever again. 

This is the brain that I have to work with for the rest of my life?! 

Today, a dead seagull is outside my window. 

It is one of the three babies that were born on the roof two buildings away from mine. Seagulls start flying at the 45 day mark but weeks after they start flying, baby seagulls will still stay with their parents nest. 
This baby seagull probably fell off the roof or was anemic from starvation or thirst. Who knows. 

On Friday, September 1 at 5:45 pm, a security guard removed the dead seagull from the roof.