Ray Bradbury's The Illustrated Man
http://www.vimeo.com/3179070
http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=-2392927052094678391
opening
part one
part two
warning: Some gory scenes. Viewer discretion is advised.
conclusion
closing credits
Obviously one has to write the screenplay before drawing the cartoons in this movie. So one knows what tattoos to include.
The premise of the book is a collection of 18 stories of the tattoos that the illustrated man posessed. However, the original story from which all the other stories are derived is so chilling and masterful that to include any of the other stories would detract. I was thinking of including the Veldt which is a story of a nursery painted with images that come to life, kind of like Night At The Museum, and these images respond telepathically to the children's thoughts which is in this case of a jungle. They think of a lion that comes to life and leaps from the wall and eats the father of the family.
And then that story about nuclear war on Earth and colonization on Mars but I already did a cartoon like that. Therefore I am going to read from the book, and do a cartoon of just the original story of The Illustrated Man. I don't know....
Soundtrack:
Denise McCann - Tattoo Man
Dee Lite - Groove Is In The Heart
Musical segment. A director's vision.
Soundtrack: Kool and the Gang - Get Down On It
Interpretation: The images on the Illustrated Man were visions of the future. One vision held the spectre of nuclear war. Another image was based on the story The Veldt. I once had a dream where I saw translucent* orange curtains made of holographic material ie a curtain that is a hologram, in the back of a CBC trailer as it drove away up a hill plus computers now have a program which follows the movements of the eye to move a cursor, or to secretly graph interest points, plus they have a computer, hooked up to the brain of an amputated monkey, connected to a robot arm surgically attached to the monkey, and the monkey "thinks" the arm into grasping an apple and putting it to his mouth and eating it plus 105 inch television screens or else entire living room walls which become a television screen that uses thought patterns to turn the channels, turn up the volume, etc.
*Opaque, translucent, transparent. Can you dig it?
____________________________________________________________________________
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
The Dawson Creek Musical Walkthrough 2
The Dawson Creek Musical Walkthrough 2
This movie was filmed because it reminds me of a dream I had when I was living in Vancouver of me astral projecting to where I clearly recognized as Dawson Creek. There were no cars on the street, just like in the dream. The wide street, the stores, I recognize all of that.
_______________________
Film School 101: The Wilhelm Scream
There is a scream called The Wilhelm Scream, that is essential knowledge for all film schoolers. First recorded for the 1951 movie Distant Drums, this scream was used in all the STAR WARS movies and this scream was used in The Titanic, Batman Returns, Lethal Weapon 4, Lord of the Rings, Spaceballs.*
*Best of the Best; Uncle John's Bathroom Reader; The Wilhelm Scream, page 191
http://thewilhelmscream.blogspot.com
__________________________________________________________________
This movie was filmed because it reminds me of a dream I had when I was living in Vancouver of me astral projecting to where I clearly recognized as Dawson Creek. There were no cars on the street, just like in the dream. The wide street, the stores, I recognize all of that.
_______________________
Film School 101: The Wilhelm Scream
There is a scream called The Wilhelm Scream, that is essential knowledge for all film schoolers. First recorded for the 1951 movie Distant Drums, this scream was used in all the STAR WARS movies and this scream was used in The Titanic, Batman Returns, Lethal Weapon 4, Lord of the Rings, Spaceballs.*
*Best of the Best; Uncle John's Bathroom Reader; The Wilhelm Scream, page 191
http://thewilhelmscream.blogspot.com
__________________________________________________________________
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
The Night Before Christmas
The Night Before Christmas
opening
Main Narrated Cartoon
end credits
Complete Musical Narrated Cartoon Production:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2645997142632439215&hl=en
Vimeo Version:
http://vimeo.com/3045163
The Night Before Christmas
C Clement Moore
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."
Soundtrack:
We Three Kings of Orient Are Jazz
Happy Anniversary - Little River Band
_______________________________________________________________________
opening
Main Narrated Cartoon
end credits
Complete Musical Narrated Cartoon Production:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2645997142632439215&hl=en
Vimeo Version:
http://vimeo.com/3045163
The Night Before Christmas
C Clement Moore
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."
Soundtrack:
We Three Kings of Orient Are Jazz
Happy Anniversary - Little River Band
_______________________________________________________________________
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
After Many A Summer Dies The Swan
After Many A Summer Dies The Swan
The original edition
The Director's cut part one
The Director's cut part two
After Many A Summer Dies The Swan
In England, under the banner of the Union Jack, a double decker bus passes a statue of the English Lion in downtown London.
Narrator: Jeremy Propter, an English teacher gets a letter. Mr. Jeremy Propter Your expertise is needed at the estate of millionaire Jo Stoyte. Some 17th Century papers have been found. Specifically, the Hauberk papers. The papers are the journals of the previous owner of this estate which have since been moved to an estate in Europe. I was lucky enough to purchase these papers at an auction after the estate went bankrupt.
Music score: England to the United States.
At the estate, he meets a doctor Mr. Obispo.
Obispo, like Jeremy, is a hired hand. He is hired to research scientific methods of life extension, perhaps even extending life to immortality.
Obidos, I mean Obispo is presumably in the midst of a vivisection of a field mouse that he found on the estate.
Jeremy Stoyte: Hello. Doctor. Do you know where I might find Mr. Stoyte? I have just arrived from London.
Dr. Obispo: He should be here any moment. Ah, speaking of which....
Jo Stoyte walks into the room with his mistress Virginia.
Jo Stoyte: Doctor how is it going with that research? Hey, you must be Propter. How was your trip from London? I am willing to pay you more than you were paid while you were a teacher at the University you were teaching at in London.
Virginia: I need my allowance. I have to go shopping again this afternoon.
Jo Stoyte: What?! I thought you were shopping this morning.
Virginia, reflectively: I was.
Pause.
Jo Stoyte: And where were you this morning?
Dr. Obispo reflectively: I was at the hospital, doing some research.
Pause:
Jo Stoyte; a knowing look?: I thought as much. What did the results of your research find?
Dr. Obispo: My colleagues have been talking about a revolutionary new method which will not be available to the public for another twenty five years. I will tell you about this when I learn more about it.
3 weeks later.
July 1756: "I have several large carp in my pond. I have a favourite one which I have placed a ring through. I would like to see how long they live."
August 1785: The carp which I thought had long died still has that ring and is still alive in the pond. When I placed that ring through its tail, I was ten years old. I am now 39 years old. I decide to try some of this food which I have been feeding the carp all along, which is pureed fish intestines which I get at the fish market. I use a mortar and pestle to triturate the fish guts which I feed the carp.
December 1810: Under the wintry glare of the December sky, my wife and I leave the house for the last time and head over to a cave located on the estate.
Narrator: When the millionaire is told of the cave on the estate that holds the key to what he is looking for, he orders a search of the caves immediately. The caves are located at the edge of the estate and half of it is submerged and the team has to go there in a rowboat. In the cave, they walk through until they see light from a television strobing through a distant doorway. In a room is a man wearing cotton flannel pants and a white shirt. The woman is wearing a grey dress. They were both barefoot. These people had a strange look about them, because these people were about 300 years old!
Later, at the edge of the swimming pool.
Dr. Obispo: My colleagues have arrived at the new method of life extension. It is called cryogenics. A person is frozen with liquid nitrogen.
Jo Stoyte: Maybe I should not. After what I saw back in the caves. It ought to have taught me a lesson. Nah! .....OK! Sure, I'll do it. Even though this may wind up costing me a couple of hundred thousand dollars. Nothing can go wrong.
Stonemasons, heard in the distance, working on the statues around the swimming pool: Tap it a few times with the chisel.
----------------------------------
2070 AD
A Cryogenics lab. A body is taken out of a deep freeze unit.
Scientist 1: Tap it a few times with the chisel, that will help break off the ice.
Scientist 2, to himself: Careful, you don't want anything to go wrong... whoops.
The head falls on the floor.
Note: Remember how the movie Hannibal had a surprise ending that the book did not have? This is my "Hannibal ending" to this movie.
_________________________________________________________________
A Discussion About After Many A Summer Dies The Swan
"Next week, most of you will be going on to Vietnam. Some of you will not be coming back. But remember this. You may die, but the marine corps lives forever and that means, you live forever!" Full Metal Jacket
Aldous Huxley wrote this story about William Randolph Hearst the famous newspaper tycoon, published in 1939. This book inspired Orson Welles to make Citizen Kane which was released in 1941.
However, this book could be about any rich person.
Jeremy Propter, an English teacher is hired to interpret some 17th Century books found in an old basement called The Hauberk Papers. Travelling from England to the United States, to the New England foothills area where there is a Jeffersonian estate.
At the estate, he meets a doctor Mr. Obispo. Now this is a remarkable coincidence: I wrote a book review about AMASDTS on Amazon dot com, the only one place I wrote book reviews in 2001. A Dean Noble book review. I used my name on that book review rather than an alias, like YouTube in which my alias is drdrtfehytf and canadagoals. Amazon dot com uses the word obidos in its URL which I knew before reading that, Obidos is a city in Portugal pronounced in Portuguese Oobidooschz. The Portuguese have that constant sibilant slur that sounds like 'sh'. Obispo and Obidos, are anagrams of one another except for the upside down p which is d, and vice versa.
Obispo, like Jeremy, is a hired hand. He is hired to research scientific methods of life extension, perhaps even extending life to immortality.
Obidos, I mean Obispo is presumably in the midst of a vivisection of a field mouse that he found on the estate. He has been having an affair with the mistress of the millionaire named Virginia.
Stoyte constantly inquires about the state of the research for life preservation. Obispo says that he is working on it day and night.
Jeremy Propter says that he is reading the book and has discovered an interesting entry:
July 1756: "I have several large carp in my pond. I have a favourite one which I have placed a ring through. I would like to see how long they live."
August 1785: The carp which I thought had long died still has that ring and is still alive in the pond. When I placed that ring through its tail, I was ten years old. I am now 39 years old. I decide to try some of this food which I have been feeding the carp all along, which is pureed fish intestines which I get at the fish market. I use a mortar and pestle to triturate the fish guts which I feed the carp.
December 1810: Under the wintry glare of the December sky, my wife and I leave the house for the last time and head over to a cave located on the estate.
When the millionaire is told of the cave on the estate that holds the key to what he is looking for, he orders a search of the caves immediately.
The cave are located at the edge of the estate and half of it is submerged and the team has to go there in a rowboat.
In the cave, they walk through until they see light from a television strobing through a distant doorway. In a room is a man wearing cotton flannel pants and a white shirt. The woman is wearing a grey dress. They were both barefoot. These people had a strange look about them, because these people were about 300 years old!
The man stood up and urinated. The woman threw back her head and laughed.
_________________________________________________________________________
The original edition
The Director's cut part one
The Director's cut part two
After Many A Summer Dies The Swan
In England, under the banner of the Union Jack, a double decker bus passes a statue of the English Lion in downtown London.
Narrator: Jeremy Propter, an English teacher gets a letter. Mr. Jeremy Propter Your expertise is needed at the estate of millionaire Jo Stoyte. Some 17th Century papers have been found. Specifically, the Hauberk papers. The papers are the journals of the previous owner of this estate which have since been moved to an estate in Europe. I was lucky enough to purchase these papers at an auction after the estate went bankrupt.
Music score: England to the United States.
At the estate, he meets a doctor Mr. Obispo.
Obispo, like Jeremy, is a hired hand. He is hired to research scientific methods of life extension, perhaps even extending life to immortality.
Obidos, I mean Obispo is presumably in the midst of a vivisection of a field mouse that he found on the estate.
Jeremy Stoyte: Hello. Doctor. Do you know where I might find Mr. Stoyte? I have just arrived from London.
Dr. Obispo: He should be here any moment. Ah, speaking of which....
Jo Stoyte walks into the room with his mistress Virginia.
Jo Stoyte: Doctor how is it going with that research? Hey, you must be Propter. How was your trip from London? I am willing to pay you more than you were paid while you were a teacher at the University you were teaching at in London.
Virginia: I need my allowance. I have to go shopping again this afternoon.
Jo Stoyte: What?! I thought you were shopping this morning.
Virginia, reflectively: I was.
Pause.
Jo Stoyte: And where were you this morning?
Dr. Obispo reflectively: I was at the hospital, doing some research.
Pause:
Jo Stoyte; a knowing look?: I thought as much. What did the results of your research find?
Dr. Obispo: My colleagues have been talking about a revolutionary new method which will not be available to the public for another twenty five years. I will tell you about this when I learn more about it.
3 weeks later.
July 1756: "I have several large carp in my pond. I have a favourite one which I have placed a ring through. I would like to see how long they live."
August 1785: The carp which I thought had long died still has that ring and is still alive in the pond. When I placed that ring through its tail, I was ten years old. I am now 39 years old. I decide to try some of this food which I have been feeding the carp all along, which is pureed fish intestines which I get at the fish market. I use a mortar and pestle to triturate the fish guts which I feed the carp.
December 1810: Under the wintry glare of the December sky, my wife and I leave the house for the last time and head over to a cave located on the estate.
Narrator: When the millionaire is told of the cave on the estate that holds the key to what he is looking for, he orders a search of the caves immediately. The caves are located at the edge of the estate and half of it is submerged and the team has to go there in a rowboat. In the cave, they walk through until they see light from a television strobing through a distant doorway. In a room is a man wearing cotton flannel pants and a white shirt. The woman is wearing a grey dress. They were both barefoot. These people had a strange look about them, because these people were about 300 years old!
Later, at the edge of the swimming pool.
Dr. Obispo: My colleagues have arrived at the new method of life extension. It is called cryogenics. A person is frozen with liquid nitrogen.
Jo Stoyte: Maybe I should not. After what I saw back in the caves. It ought to have taught me a lesson. Nah! .....OK! Sure, I'll do it. Even though this may wind up costing me a couple of hundred thousand dollars. Nothing can go wrong.
Stonemasons, heard in the distance, working on the statues around the swimming pool: Tap it a few times with the chisel.
----------------------------------
2070 AD
A Cryogenics lab. A body is taken out of a deep freeze unit.
Scientist 1: Tap it a few times with the chisel, that will help break off the ice.
Scientist 2, to himself: Careful, you don't want anything to go wrong... whoops.
The head falls on the floor.
Note: Remember how the movie Hannibal had a surprise ending that the book did not have? This is my "Hannibal ending" to this movie.
_________________________________________________________________
A Discussion About After Many A Summer Dies The Swan
"Next week, most of you will be going on to Vietnam. Some of you will not be coming back. But remember this. You may die, but the marine corps lives forever and that means, you live forever!" Full Metal Jacket
Aldous Huxley wrote this story about William Randolph Hearst the famous newspaper tycoon, published in 1939. This book inspired Orson Welles to make Citizen Kane which was released in 1941.
However, this book could be about any rich person.
Jeremy Propter, an English teacher is hired to interpret some 17th Century books found in an old basement called The Hauberk Papers. Travelling from England to the United States, to the New England foothills area where there is a Jeffersonian estate.
At the estate, he meets a doctor Mr. Obispo. Now this is a remarkable coincidence: I wrote a book review about AMASDTS on Amazon dot com, the only one place I wrote book reviews in 2001. A Dean Noble book review. I used my name on that book review rather than an alias, like YouTube in which my alias is drdrtfehytf and canadagoals. Amazon dot com uses the word obidos in its URL which I knew before reading that, Obidos is a city in Portugal pronounced in Portuguese Oobidooschz. The Portuguese have that constant sibilant slur that sounds like 'sh'. Obispo and Obidos, are anagrams of one another except for the upside down p which is d, and vice versa.
Obispo, like Jeremy, is a hired hand. He is hired to research scientific methods of life extension, perhaps even extending life to immortality.
Obidos, I mean Obispo is presumably in the midst of a vivisection of a field mouse that he found on the estate. He has been having an affair with the mistress of the millionaire named Virginia.
Stoyte constantly inquires about the state of the research for life preservation. Obispo says that he is working on it day and night.
Jeremy Propter says that he is reading the book and has discovered an interesting entry:
July 1756: "I have several large carp in my pond. I have a favourite one which I have placed a ring through. I would like to see how long they live."
August 1785: The carp which I thought had long died still has that ring and is still alive in the pond. When I placed that ring through its tail, I was ten years old. I am now 39 years old. I decide to try some of this food which I have been feeding the carp all along, which is pureed fish intestines which I get at the fish market. I use a mortar and pestle to triturate the fish guts which I feed the carp.
December 1810: Under the wintry glare of the December sky, my wife and I leave the house for the last time and head over to a cave located on the estate.
When the millionaire is told of the cave on the estate that holds the key to what he is looking for, he orders a search of the caves immediately.
The cave are located at the edge of the estate and half of it is submerged and the team has to go there in a rowboat.
In the cave, they walk through until they see light from a television strobing through a distant doorway. In a room is a man wearing cotton flannel pants and a white shirt. The woman is wearing a grey dress. They were both barefoot. These people had a strange look about them, because these people were about 300 years old!
The man stood up and urinated. The woman threw back her head and laughed.
_________________________________________________________________________
Friday, December 5, 2008
Dean Noble's Rumplestiltskin
Dean Noble's Rumplestiltskin
Once upon a time,
There was a man who was a wagoneer. He drove a wagon around to different places, met people, found whatever work he could and when he felt like it, he moved to another town. This man had a lovely daughter who was just about 18 years old. Thus, she was becoming old enough to leave her father. His father thought of a way to win his daughter's place in Society.
He decided to be no less audacious than to seek an audience with the King. He extracted a promise that his daughter could no less, spinnaker a spool of course yarn into gold thread. The King then said that she had better do this, or the man would be imprisoned and all his possessions impounded. And if she could not do this, then she would be banished from the Kingdom henceforth for getting so intensely involved with a Royal House. However, if she were to win, she would gain a Royal Title in the Household, for the King never heard of such a thing and surely anyone with such a gift ought to be granted Peerage.
For a second, the man thought that the King might kill him or his daughter when it turns out that she can not do this, but the he anticipated this, and triaged the situation, thinking that there were a lot worse scoundrels in the Kingdom and if the King were inclined to kill anyone who upset him, the streets would be littered with corpses.
Left in a room with a cow, some straw, some yarn, the daughter was left to her devices. She did not even bother to try. Instead, she cried and wondered aloud at what would happen to her.
However, at the time, there was an ET spaceship visiting the Earth. Medieval tapestries of the period show a strange light in the sky like a meteor. One of the ET who liked to collect people. The ET appeared and said "I will help you, but you have to promise me your unborn child, in the future." The woman agreed and thought that there may, in all likelihood turn out that she might never have a child.
The King was amazed when he saw the gold thread, and there was a lot of it, woven into gold bars. The gold thread was even condensed into gold bars.
The daughter was, a year later married to a Royal Prince. Much to her dismay, she was pregnant because she remembered the promise she made to that miserable little ET. She loathed the future prospects in all its grotesque possibilities. However, she did tell a few people about what went on, and because she was part of a Royal Palace, the Secret Police of the time, the Palace Guards who were Secret Police, regular Police, Royal Guard and gatherers of secrets at the time reported that a couple of days ago, there was indeed a grotesque green dwarf dancing around a fire singing,
They'll never expect, they'll never suspect
They'll never guess my bloody name because it's fucking Rumplestiltskin
"Rumplestiltskin." the daughter said.
"What?????!!!!!!!!" the hideous dwarf said, and with that, he vanished moving backwards through the window.
___________________________________________________________________
Once upon a time,
There was a man who was a wagoneer. He drove a wagon around to different places, met people, found whatever work he could and when he felt like it, he moved to another town. This man had a lovely daughter who was just about 18 years old. Thus, she was becoming old enough to leave her father. His father thought of a way to win his daughter's place in Society.
He decided to be no less audacious than to seek an audience with the King. He extracted a promise that his daughter could no less, spinnaker a spool of course yarn into gold thread. The King then said that she had better do this, or the man would be imprisoned and all his possessions impounded. And if she could not do this, then she would be banished from the Kingdom henceforth for getting so intensely involved with a Royal House. However, if she were to win, she would gain a Royal Title in the Household, for the King never heard of such a thing and surely anyone with such a gift ought to be granted Peerage.
For a second, the man thought that the King might kill him or his daughter when it turns out that she can not do this, but the he anticipated this, and triaged the situation, thinking that there were a lot worse scoundrels in the Kingdom and if the King were inclined to kill anyone who upset him, the streets would be littered with corpses.
Left in a room with a cow, some straw, some yarn, the daughter was left to her devices. She did not even bother to try. Instead, she cried and wondered aloud at what would happen to her.
However, at the time, there was an ET spaceship visiting the Earth. Medieval tapestries of the period show a strange light in the sky like a meteor. One of the ET who liked to collect people. The ET appeared and said "I will help you, but you have to promise me your unborn child, in the future." The woman agreed and thought that there may, in all likelihood turn out that she might never have a child.
The King was amazed when he saw the gold thread, and there was a lot of it, woven into gold bars. The gold thread was even condensed into gold bars.
The daughter was, a year later married to a Royal Prince. Much to her dismay, she was pregnant because she remembered the promise she made to that miserable little ET. She loathed the future prospects in all its grotesque possibilities. However, she did tell a few people about what went on, and because she was part of a Royal Palace, the Secret Police of the time, the Palace Guards who were Secret Police, regular Police, Royal Guard and gatherers of secrets at the time reported that a couple of days ago, there was indeed a grotesque green dwarf dancing around a fire singing,
They'll never expect, they'll never suspect
They'll never guess my bloody name because it's fucking Rumplestiltskin
"Rumplestiltskin." the daughter said.
"What?????!!!!!!!!" the hideous dwarf said, and with that, he vanished moving backwards through the window.
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