My drawing of a nautilus.
I got a nautilus hand-puppet today on September 25, 2019, Wednesday. It had been there for days. For a few days before getting it, I walked past the window every day and it was always there, as much ever.I was worried someone else might scoop it. I saw a video about the Hong Kong protests on the Sunday before. A strangely shaped black garbage can with an angled top was tipped and thrown. It was a sign that I would get the nautilus, as if the video clip was saying, "Don't worry, the nautilus hand puppet is yours!"
I can't recommend highly enough the new TV series Warrior, which was based on the writings of Bruce Lee that he would have generated to KungFu the TV series except David Carradine got the part. Never mind every minute, every second of this show sizzles. Watching this show with the extravagant and spectacular production values and visceral graphic stagings, afterwards, I feel like I just smoked some crack or am coming down off mushrooms. The clothing of the TV series really resonates with a spectral vibe as those were the clothes they wore then as on could see if they ever have a historical dream so vivid, so lucid, it appears as a Snapseed filter color photograph.
Life in America was difficult for the Chinese. If I was there and had to live such a life, I wouldn't want to bother. If I was in that world, I'd contact the Triads and try to get enough opium or heroin so I could overdose. Even back in the 1800s, life owes me nothing and I owe life nothing. That kind of life was simply not worth living.
Shannon Lee criticized Quentin Tarantino for his portrayal of Bruce Lee. She might as well criticize every Bruce Lee imitator including Bruce Le and Bruce Li. They sure hammed it up with their portrayals of Bruce Lee. You can't take Quentin Tarantino seriously. This is the same guy who made movies about people getting stabbed in the heart with a needle full of naloxone. He's made movies about junkies. He made a movie about a guy who ran quickly and then leaped off a building and jumped into the air to knee a transexual who was hanging off of a helicopter holding onto a wire. That's the fastest I heard of any man running towards a tranny outside of the tenderloin district. We know that Quentin Tarantino knows that we know that he knows that he's joking the whole time. I doubt that Brad Pitt really believes he could beat up Bruce Lee. And then in Chinese movies, how are White people portrayed. Usually as stupid people. "Hey you!! What are you doing!! That's my truck!!! Come back here!!!" That's stereotyping.
Years ago, someone on YouTube comments wrote, "I did a web search for you. You're a non-person. You don't exist. That commenter wasn't, but that commenter could have been referring to me. Could it be that the person legally changed their name so there's no record of a birth under that name?
Often, when I wake up in the morning and, what time is it, look at the alarm clock. At least twice this week, the time was 4:47. For me, that's a Royal number. The number 47 appears often. April 7, 2015 is when King George the 6th, King Edward the 8th, and the 1930s Royal family standing at a distance dressed all in white visited me in a dream. What does that mean when it happens so often? It's a haunting of the best kind. The other day, I walked out, two buses passed in front of me, one bus had 47 on it, another, going the other way had the number 46 on it. It was part of 4 numbers, something 47 something. I don't remember the other numbers. Again, what does it mean?
My original Chinese name is Wing, that's in Cantonese. In Mandarin, Wing is Yong. Yong is the name of a Chinese Emperor, Yong Le, the last Emperor of the Southern Ming Dynasty. He was killed at the end of his reign. A Police Woman said that a male Police Officer at the station said, "Take a look at my genital birthmark. Isn't it cute?" I have a birthmark on my genital. Birthmarks indicate an injury from a past life. In Chinese culture a genial birthmark is conspicuous and a mark there can only mean that the person was a eunuch in a past life. Those people are usually connected to a Royal Court. Genital mutilation aside, like Lord Varys and even to some extent Theon Greyjoy or Reek of the Iron Islands, sigil a kraken, the Iron Islands is probably the Hebrides in Scotland, and he is the guy from John Wick part 1, they were valued for their skills in mathematics, politics, cooking meals, and some were even Royal advisors. my Royal birthmark. PS, Don't ever lose that imagination.
Alfie Allen, I thought was all right in the movie John Wick, however in The Game of Thrones, what a tour de force performance. He is a genius actor. A great actor. When he was acting in the movie John Wick, his best days were yet to come.
Andrea Perron told a story about how when her family first moved into the house, there were lots of flies even in Winter. As soon as her mother cottoned on and said, This place is haunted, the flies disappeared. But that's when the major heavy duty ghosts made their presence known! Out of the frying pan, into the fire. Sometimes life is waiting for you to get things. Make the connection. Like the hippies said, it is all connected. Life is like a twilight zone. There can be twists in science in general and in your own life. Once you get the connection, either things will stop or start happening. Once I made the connection with my birthmark and that dream where QE2 wearing a dark blue dress was sitting on chairs against a wall with two ladies, and she wanted to examine my genital perhaps looking for the Royal birthmark. I am not making this up. This was during the dream sleeping overnight on the floor, I turned on a white radio, she didn't mind. Anyways, after I made this connection, people started treating me differently especially at Chinese restaurants.
Quantum computers are very different. They use super-position and entanglement. In a nutshell: super-position. Normal computers use either 0 or 1, a binary system. Quantum computers can use 0, 1, or the densities of any of the spaces in between and multiple ones simultaneously. It is likened to multi-location where a person's image appears on many televisions simultaneously. Quantum entanglement is how two atoms or electrons can be connected to one another and behave in the same way. If one dances one way, the other dances in exactly the same way. Even two electrons on either sides of the Universe! A rat in Asia does something and then at the same time, a rat in Norway is doing the exact same thing. The ability to connect and act at such distances is what Einstein called "spooky" action. To these two entangled electrons, the space between them is irrelevant and therefore space is an illusion. Well, quantum computers can do that. The quantum computer is new and does just a few things. However when the laser was new, the inventor didn't see the application of using them for laser surgery, laser light shows, DVD players. Likewise the inventors of the quantum computer have yet to imagine and see their full potential.
Entanglement is a type of super-position. Entanglement is measured with spin, if they spin top to bottom together sympatico in tandem, that's top spin, then there's they spin inversely or bottom spin, and the sideways spin is the most elusive of all.
I imagine that a quantum computer could predict the outcomes of chaotic systems like what pool hall will go next into the corner pocket. Potted. A quantum computer could help in predicting sports game outcomes and even winning lottery numbers.
Quantum computers are made in Burnaby, BC. A lot of people say that QCs are a gimmick. Either that or else they are still in a larval, incipient, prototype stage and that's what a lot of people first said about televisions and even the internet. It's a flash in the pan. It'll never last. I don't see what they could do that a normal computer couldn't but they are as different from a normal computer as a rotary engine is from a normal engine and as a glass teat television is from a flat screen TV or a vacuum tube radio is from a transistor radio. I'd like to get a small vacuum tube radio. I had one in Dawson Creek. I like the delay, then the pitched hum as the radio powers on. There's nothing like it. I think there's an app that can make all things on the tablet sound like vacuum tubes, start a YouTube video or a video game and there is that delay the vacuum tube sound, the squelch, then the app sounds as normal. But one might get bored of that soon.
Engineers at Purdue University, it wouldn't be Purdue Oxycontin Sackler Pharmaceuticals Purdue wouldn't, and Tohoku University have developed p-bits or probability bits of poor man's q-bits. Bits can do either 1 or 0. Quantum bits can do simultaneously or any point in between. Quantum bits can do super-position but you need to cool the computer to zero degrees Kelvin. P-bits can do super-position and can be used on normal computers. Quantum computer coding uses words like pyquil, dice, roll etc.
Google recently used their 53 q-bit quantum computer called Sycamore, scaled back from a 72 q-bit computer called Bristlecone. It solved a problem that would take a state of the art traditional computer about 50 trillion hours to solve in 30 seconds. Google wrote a paper to NASA about it which has since been taken down. It will be back up again as soon as this phase of quantum computer development seems retro and semi-obsolete. But it wouldn't be as amazing then.
The problems involve optimisation. For eg. And someone on YouTube said this: Going on vacation, 20 cities staying at 20 hotels and cost of airfare, with the choice of all travel agents online in over 1,000 cities, find the cheapest airfare and hotel.
I heard the next STAR WARS is going to be about time travel. That's like vomitting in the mouth and then reswallowing it. Time fucking travel?! STAR WARS jumped the shark. The franchise is truly dead. "Then my father is truly dead." Luke Skywalker. I wrote something about time travel. Those fuckin crackers are copying off me. Goddamn STAR WARS. Or as the Thai language would say, ayear STAR WARS! Ayear means goddamn. If that's the case, I'd just as soon die of a heroin overdose than to see that filthy wretched disgusting movie. The Last Jedi was so bad that I would lose nothing if I threw that blu ray in the garbage. I never watch that movie. Ever. It is an anathema to me. That movie belongs in the garbage incinerator. If it's about time travel, I won't see the movie at the theatre at all. Then I will never purchase the Blu Ray. I'd rather spend the money I would otherwise spend on that on a $20 ball of crack cocaine. STAR WARS is even worse garbage than crack cocaine. Now I hate STAR WARS so fucking much! The movies that they used to show at the now shut down, Haida, Jade, and Fox theatres in Vancouver. Like Deadpool said, Foxx and Friends. Foxhall. Fucks all. Ron Foxhall and the AIDS victim. That's how much I don't want to see the next STAR WARS movie.
The Star Wars franchise is now trying it's hand at time travel?! Oh my fucking God! That's the living end! "Not unless you can speed up the crops or teleport me off this rock." He said nothing about time travel!
I don't know that it's anything that I'd want to see. Would I be legally required to see that? Disney doesn't care if I see the next STAR WARS movie. Even if I died, they wouldn't care. Who am I to them? Who are they to me? I've had it with star wars.
I watched Avengers Endgame, the first half of it. Then the openload putlocker or whatever video froze. From what I saw they talked about time machines and a lot of it sounded scientifically cogent. They talked about time machines and did it well. One day, I'll see a good copy that doesn't freeze in the middle. The movie was better than I expected it would be. But then, I didn't expect much.
"What did you do?" Thor: "I went for the head." I would have then said, "Like Chinese people at a fish dinner?"
Smurfs Magical Meadow. Sunday, July 28, 2019. I got some land expansions developed behind the haunted house.
I thought of travelling to Vancouver tomorrow. I even told a panhandler and two other people that. I'm cancelling the trip. Going to Vancouver for just one day is like going to Disneyland but you just get 1 hour there. Vancouver is a vast wonderland that is shimmering with sheer intense profound geomagnetic beauty. One day is just a tease. It'd be rushed. Hectic. Sweating. To do it justice, I got to be there for a month. I'm saving up for rent and damage deposit at the cheapest rooming house. George Orwell Down and Out in Paris and London style. One month in Vancouver. Do it right or not at all. That way, I hold on to this place and vacation in Vancouver for one month. However tomorrow is a special travel day. Sherlock Holmes often went on holiday in the English countryside. On the West Coast are two towns Sooke and Port Renfrew. I didn't know there were small towns on the West Coast of the island. That seems exotic to me. They are probably very great towns and the Sunday vibe in small towns is just as intense as in the big cities if not more. Here's the formula: On Sunday mornings and/or afternoon, watch a Churchy television programme like Religulous or The Vicar of Dibley. Even stare at a picture of a nice stain glass window for a few minutes. Look at where the light reflects off of objects, little white glistening patches of reflected light. Then in the evening turn on Stingray the 70s or else a 70s music playlist on YouTube. The vibes will take you out of this World. 80s music is alright the rest of the week, but on Sunday nights, it has to be 70s music. There's something pithy, spiritual, about 70s music. There's no science to explain Sunday vibes. The ion effect? Every 7 days since time immemorial stretching back to primordial days or whenever, Sunday vibes had to be there.
Any soft music will do it. Blues will do it. Bluegrass music will do it. Jazz will do it very well. One day, maybe someone can explain the enchantment. It's as intense as a drug high and is a non pharmaceutical psychedelic experience. Coffee helps spur on the Sunday vibes.
Even though I like the Sunday Church vibes, I don't go. I can get enough of the vibes looking at stained glass window images on Google or watching a video like Religulous. Nothing good has ever happened or could happen at Church. Finding a girlfriend or whatever corresponds to a fetish like a fetish for older women. Or else finding a job. Nothing like that ever happens.
I've gotten the Sunday vibes even going to a Buddhist temple. It doesn't have to be a Christian one. Sunday vibes, once you know them are wonderful.
I'm not going to Sooke or Port Renfrew tomorrow. For security purposes, I won't disclose where I'm going. I doubt that'd help, really.
I don't want to use the dark web. Ever. The word dark makes me not want to use it, although for others, it'd have the opposite kick. I got two stories I learned from YouTube that'll make your hair stand on end. Warning: shocking stories!
Someone was fooling around on the desk web. Chatroom. He wrote that he was stepping out for something to eat. Returns. Announces return on chatroom. Someone on the chatroom then posted a picture of him at the restaurant sitting down at the exact place he was sitting!
Another time, a person buys a mystery box of funky sounding objects including a mini coat, jewellery etc for $250 off the dark web. The second he clicked, the seller disappeared. No refund. Days later, he gets the box. Inside were indeed the items. Then his mom walks in and said that's her jewellery and mink coat. They checked and indeed it was!
US President Donald Trump enacted Legislation permitting Americans to come here to Canada and buy cheaper drugs. It's like Canada is this huge gypsy caravan in the forest that in the medieval days, respectable people from town would go to score cheap drugs like hashish, opium, weed, gyspy home made liquor, ginseng and maybe a prostitute. And that was just for the men. Women were not limited to such drugs and additionally wow visited gypsies for drugs to encourage fertility, while others looked for drugs that would discourage fertility. Americans ran their drug supply to the ground and now are after Canada's drugs and keep it for themselves. Just like they kept the Stanley Cup for themselves. Canada should enact counter Legislation. More American imperialism. Most drugs are weird pharmaceutical bullshit that leave people all pilled up and tranqued out. Street drugs are drugs of choice and only the best drugs have such a high demand to push them into the street drug bootleg category and street drugs are generally panacaeas which demand is at such a profound level that drug companies can't keep up. Even open 24 hours these drugs would always be sold out such as marijuana, cocaine, heroin, even meth in teeny tiny doses might be medicinal. It was once prescribed for weight loss and depression as desoxin. That doesn't make me want to try it. We all have our drugs of choice and drugs of non choice. Besides, those drugs are illegal. Alas, that doesn't stop millions from doing it. Self medicating with street drugs must be done with great discretion if at all. Marijuana helps with most medical problems. But if the supply of insulin is so bad that the paucity of is making a person nearly die, then why not cut out the middle man, get some heroin and overdose. Die in a base of painless bliss. If I were diabetic, type 2, I'd do it. They use insulin from pigs and cows for humans. They used to use chickens too. People are already getting a lot of chemicals from cows, tryptophan, protein, amino acids, iron, Vitamin B5, taurine, what's one more? I'm not diabetic. Any problems I have, I move to another place. Only in the most dire terminal medical disease case would I resort to heroin overdose. Otherwise, it's travel on. Or wait and build a life where you don't feel the need to escape. Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. Of any kind. Refer to a professional physician for medical advice. This is street medical advice.
WHO gives a fuck about this. No, literally the World Health Organization might be interested in this but what could they do? Toothless. Useless. Not all things are as they appear so this situation might not be as bad as appears. Nothing is as good or bad as it first appears, or something like that.
Victoria BC is shutting down all Cannabis Dispensaries except for Government licensed ones. What can you say? Backwater politics. Local yokels. Policy wonks. Marijuana is legalized in Canada albeit in a very circumscribed and regimented form. This is just a temporary hiccup. A lot of products have had similar troubled histories such as guns, abortion clinics, pubs staying open til 4 am, pipelines. Things met with their usual invariable inevitable bullshit like protests and government regulations.
I'd go to Vancouver to score. They shut down Dana Larsen's downtown Eastside pot shop, but the one downtown on Robson Street is still open. Marc Emery's store is shut down. Ted Smith's store is imminently shut down but they're fighting it. They have John Conroy, Lawyer, Queen's Council on their side. Also the lawyer Kirk Tousaw who is a major lawyer.
"Corruption?! Corruption is government interference in market efficiencies in the form of regulations. Milton Friedman said that and he won the goddamned Nobel Prize!" Tim Blake Nelson, Syriana
In its mystical form, governments are a nameless faceless bureaucratic machine made to facilitate the flow of goods and services, which isn't he ideal. In its demystified form, governments are a handful of people, human families whose interests are to create and to reinforce a very discernible class divide, caste system and to make sure people can never be independent from government, which is the reality. And then they make laws that make certain things illegal for anyone but them to do. Things like money laundering, fire insurance scams, insider trading. Otherwise extremely easy ways to get rich, except it's illegal, but THEY do it all the fucking time, governments, politicians, insider trading, insurance scam, money laundering. When they do it, it's OK. When we do it, it's not OK. It's nature is hypocritical.
When we do it, it's money laundering. When they do it, it's enhancing the federal treasury.
When we do it, it's insider trading. When they do it, it's a policy of prudent strategic investing to further the infrastructure which they have a special notwithstanding clause which enables them to do it, buried in thousands of pages of legal text.
When we do it, it's a fire insurance scam. When they do it, it's putting into motion a discretionary retroactive fiduciary policy of specific actuarial subsidization of public government assets.
"They got laws that keep honest men like us down." Quote from a cowboy western movie
The pot shops closing down is still with forces that are basically vestigial carryovers from the 19th Century, things like Corporations, anti-trust laws, monopolies. Weird anachronistic bullshit. You got a local government culture that's basically uptight.
They're basically running a crooked table.
The local government is composed largely of politicians who never owned a business and went into business for themselves. Those who can't do, teach. Those who can't run a business go into politics. It's easy for people who never went into business to make all these regulations for business people which essentially is a way of ripping off and leeching off the business man. Adam Smith, Wealth of Nations, laissez faire economy. That's the ideal and not the reality. The world is going to hell in a handbasket. We're all fucked.
And the British Columbia government has a well-known fetish for monopolies. The auto insurance is a monopoly. It's not like that in some other places. The liquor industry in BC is a monopoly. They want to do the same thing with pot as they did with alcohol. Regulation. Price fixing. Artificial scarcity.
Thailand has a tobacco monopoly.
Worst of all, this is a classic government corporate hostile takeover. Force out all the small timers and put in all their own people now that they've seen how well it works. Like they do with Mexican drug lords who spent years setting up stations, operations, client list, then the government takes them down and replaces it with 'their people' in the satellite stations that the drug lords spent setting up. Sleazy. OPEC probably did the same thing. John D Rockefeller was an independent businessman before OPEC came into the picture and before governments were too interested in petroleum in the days when gasoline still hadn't overtaken whale oil and coal as main sources of fuel. Then one thing led to another and decades later, governments, OPEC they own the infrastructure that he set up. More or less.
Like a cuckoo bird that takes over a nest that another bird built.
WalMart forcing out the home grown mom and pop corner stores. Government pot corporations forcing out the local home grown hippie cannabis stores of whom their activism made it possible to now sell that product. Evil and in the case of pot, hypocritical.
The only thing is to quit smoking pot. Then you don't have to worry about any of this at all, on any level.
That and having the most venal avaricious President in American history who takes greed to a whole new level whose government policies are basically one glorified yuppie scam after another.
Too much bullshit in life. I thought of just quitting life altogether. But would that be an option? All this is only a variable in the equation because I'm alive. If I was in the afterlife, all this bullshit would be irrelevant.
The pot industry in BC is doomed. If they shut down all the cannabis stores, I'll have to quit smoking pot completely. I did that when I was in Thailand.
It would be great if we lived in a land where the government was more evolved. "Where the castles are made of gingerbread and moats are filled with blackberry wine." Tyrion, Game of Thrones
In the pot shops that are open, the weed is sold in closed plastic packages. Now you don't even see the strain first which is a hallmark of pot culture. That often happens when corporations take over. You get a dumbed down, compromised, regulated experience of what is was before. However beer and tobacco is sold in closed packaging. Except for beer in bottles, you don't see the beer first.
They'll still hire locals as employees, but the management is all people from out of town. Corporations are under the impression that supplanted management would be more accountable to shareholders than the original local management. What have they been smoking?
Essentially, there are some types of businesses that do well in any economy. That would be commodities tobacco, alcohol, food, gasoline. Marijuana is one of those kinds of businesses. The government is the cabal of chronies and their relatives and in-laws wants that and they'll commandeer your business. They got the cops on their side. That's what's going on with the cannabis industry in BC.
Regulate the shit out of everything with these weird anal regulations in order to create a tamed economy.
Some things they over-regulate like cannabis dispensaries. Other things they under-regulate.
Regulation is a subjective phenomenon. For eg guns. Some say it's over regulated, someday it's under regulated.
Ticket scalping is under-regulated where ironically, the mark up is higher than it is with cannabis sales. With things in the consumer market, there is a value to consumer goods. In this case, what is the value? What are you paying for? That some asshole got the ticket for $45 and is now reselling it to you for $250? So what you're paying for is someone else's sleazy hyperactivity. What you're paying for is the sophistication of someone's computer program, bought I mean bot that enabled it to butt in line in front of a bunch of other computer programs that wanted to do the same thing.
$250 for a $45 ticket for a sports team that never wins. Which leaves me wondering, what the mark-up would be to see a championship team.
Not to be Captain Obvious, it's a game of musical chairs in which the least powerful person is the one left standing without a chair to sit on. It's a kind of symbiotic relationship which embodies aspects of mutualism as between the e-scalpers and the stadiums as well as aspects of parasitism being between the e-scalpers and the ticket consumers. With this ticket bot scam, sports arenas turn a blind eye as that means seats are sold which gives them higher leverage for ad revenue. The scammers get the tickets, if they sell them, great, if not it's an ostensible source of income to advance a money laundering scam. It's the street level middle class ticket consumers that lose out. Pay artificially inflated prices for a ticket to get in. That's if the ticket gets you in as there have been News reports about fake tickets being sold. Sports teams don't derive their revenue from ticket sales, they derive it from advertising revenue. So what do they care? Ticket sales pay for stadium upkeep and maintenance, overhead, rents, etc. Sports used to be a middle class form of entertainment. Not with the bots. Even if a ticket is sold for a seat, if no one shows up, some stadiums let you in ten minutes late into a game, or do they? So in that way, they sell a ticket twice. Half the hockey games are on television anyways. Perhaps the best way to watch hockey is on television with a folding table and a Swanson's hungry man dinner on it with a bottle of beer.
It's kind of like a plane flight cancellation. They don't care. They'll resell your seat and not give you a refund. That's classic with airlines.
It's an ill wind that blows no one any good. Corporations, business all have had hiccup phases but in the long run, things turn out well. Corporations, governments, overall have done more good for people than evil. It's just that evil is more flashy, more conspicuous and gets higher ratings on the news.
It's up to you, but I would suggest watching the documentary called The Corporation.
As it seems, Ted Smith's dispensary is going to stay open indefinitely. I don't have to go cold turkey. In fact, I went and scored some kush and also some hashish.
PS. No one reads my blog anyways! My view count is low.
I wouldn't blame anyone for not reading my blog. What credentials?
US President Donald Trump gave the best speech ever on August 5, 2019 after the shootings in El Paso at WalMart and at Dayton, Ohio, and he's given a few. He said that there is no room for hate and that the United States is a loving place. The shooter had a gun that held 250 rounds. That's worse than a Tommy gun! People in the States have the 2nd amendment but there must be limits in terms of ballistics payload. If I were in charge I'd say, you can carry a gun that holds fires no more than 6 bullets. 250 is excessive. What, was he planning to singlehandedly take on the Viet Cong? Hunting for deer, home defense. No one needs a gun with more than 6 bullets except the Police and the Army! What are people thinking? Is the bottom line, is $$$$ that important?!
They put a ban on V8 and forced induction engines. Why not on multiple round ballistics?
The 2nd Amendment was enacted in 1791, in an age when the most powerful weapon a person had was a musket, or else a cutlass sword or a pitchfork. When they drafted that, they certainly didn't have armalites and uzis in mind.
A French inventor, Franky Zapata and not the mothers of invention successfully flew a hoverboard across the English Channel. Exciting of what? That's like Charles Lindbergh and Amelia Earhart showing the world that places were feasible for long distance commercial travel. Now that I saw that I want one. Something like that would be useful for the Police. That man, Zapata did something very spectacular.
Beverly Hills 90210 returns tonight on August 7th, 2019. I'm visualizing a sweeping drive in a convertible on Rodeo Drive. Then a shot of the Armani store that sells the cologne, Giorgio Beverly Hills which I have a bottle of. I know what that store looks like after doing a Good search. It's at a very swanky mini mall.
YouTube is using a bot to try to sabotage my mind. Truth is stranger than fiction so I'll tell the story. On my YouTube sidebar, there is only one uploader. Joe Scott. Usually there are videos from a few people. This has been going on all night. Why Joe Scott? Sure, he does videos about Mandela Effect, Singularity, astronomy anomaly, but there is just that one uploader. It's a bot. Are others experiencing this? It makes me think that I wish I died years ago. If I died years ago, I wouldn't be alive to experience this today. It make me think of Shiva. I might be dead soon the way I'm going. I don't seem to be too interested in living.
After searching for Joe Scott on Reddit to see if other people were going through the same thing, I found out that Nicolai Kardashev of the Kardashev Scale died on Saturday August 3, 2019.
"The problem with White Supremacy is that it's a static image. Any static image even if it's a good one is one that probably won't work." William Burroughs
There is no ideal situation. No situation is static. Even the most ideal situation where one is in the perfect marriage, with the perfect children. That is a static image subject to eventually change. People grow old and die. The children will eventually grow old and die. No static situation. If even the best situations are subject to fall apart, then the shit ones certainly are. br />
Jeffrey Epstein's life was fucked. So he did the right thing. Life owed him nothing. He owed life nothing. Final result: Jeffrey Epstein 1, Life 0. Life dealt him a bad hand, so he dealt life a bad hand. I admire him for that.
Jeffrey Epstein was the most high profile financier to appear on the News since HuaWei's Meng Wangzhou.
Actually, I wrote as much as a comment on a YouTube video on the topic. Normally I would advise against suicide if you are otherwise healthy. Traveling would be a good answer. But Epstein was going to supermax as a sex offender and a diddler on an industrial level. They cut your balls off, as Ewen MacGregor said in Trainspotting. He killed himself to avoid torture and mutilation and I admire him for that. Such a situation is not a normal situation. Life painted him into a corner so he painted life into a corner. I would have done that in such a situation. If he indeed was a diddler, a man in his 50s going after 14 year old girls, that's not good. In normal porn, you see older men but getting it on but with women over 19 or 20. It's not rocket science. $500 an hour call girl. Escort agency. Massage parlour. Money. Money. Money.
Life has a certain finite value. The teenager who died of an MDMA overdose while it was being filmed. He's better off dead than to be alive with that group of people. The value of life is finite because the nature of life is finite. If the chemicals in the body all added up have a certain value, about $19. Then life experiences can have a dollar value attached to it. A millionaire's life is worth $1,000,000 but any problems that millionaire has would detract from it. But the life experiences of those impoverished or living a really bad bullshit contemptible suffering life is hardly worth any money at all. It is better to be dead than to live a lot of lives out there. I mean, if I had to live those lives, I'd opt for death every time. Life is only worth so much and no more.
Now that I'm almost 50 I don't know what I'd be living for. In Shakespeare's time, most people died at my age or earlier, most of them from untreated dental abscesses. I got to live another 20 years or more. What the hell for? To get married and start a family?! Forget that! Most people at my age are winding down from that. If they had a child at 25, then that child would have long since left the nest. It is legal to leave your parents or guardians home at age 18. Why would I at my age want to start something that most others have long since finished? Even if I had the money, I don't have the proclivity, inclination or tendency at all to want to raise children. It's not something I'd want to do at all. Even if I had a billion dollars, starting a family and raising children wouldn't be anything that I'd want to do. It was never any kind of priority for me. So why am I still living? What the hell am I sticking around for? Even getting laid. The novelty has long since worn off. It's the same geometric game every time. Here's the peg, there's the hole. Put the peg in the hole. Mindless. I don't have the will to live at all and don't see any purpose for my going on. Life is only with so much. There isn't anything I'm living for. I'm just going through the motions. I am not all that glad to be alive and would prefer to be in the afterlife full time. Life just isn't working out for me. Most people in my life I would not miss if I never saw them again. The vast majority of people I met don't mean anything to me. If they died I wouldn't go to their memorial service nor shed many tears if I heard of their death. Just as they wouldn't care if I died.
Oh well, that's life. People die. Even if you wanted to prevent it, you couldn't. If you meet someone you don't like, remember life is temporary and one day, that person is going to die even if it's decades later. Won't that be a fine day?
I really don't have anything to live for. If my life ended now, I wouldn't mind. What do I have to live for that I got to go on living for another what, 20, or 30 years? What the goddamned hell do I have to live for? I wish that my life ended. Why the hell do I have to stick around for another 30 years possibly? For what?! I hope that Azrael the angel of death snuffs me out. I give up on life altogether in its entirety. Would death be an option for me? Just give up on life altogether. There's nothing that I have to live for. Other people may have children if not grandchildren to live for at my age. I don't have anything like that so what the hell do I have to stay around for? If there is a God, maybe he can end my life. I met other people whose lives were going nowhere but they had the consolation of an early death. Why am I still alive? I wish I died like my dead friends whose lives were going nowhere. I don't want to live. I don't want life. If my life ends soon that would be a good thing. My life is going nowhere. I have nothing worth living for.
I don't worry about my future. That's because I have no future. Why worry about something I dont have?
