October 2021

 

October 1.

I'm not moving to Vancouver. The downtown Eastside is a very tough neighborhood. I can't visit pandemicky Vancouver. It's Vancouver at half speed if that. 

Focus on the advantages of living in the town you're in and not at all on the disadvantages.

I struggle with depression and obsessive compulsive disorder. However, as Douglas Bloch's friend Richard* said, "This is not the rest of your life. There are other chapters. There are those who are alive and not yet born who need you to hold on and keep on going. Hold on however tough it is. This too shall pass. I promise that you will get better."

*Depression Recovery, Richards story.

I also struggle with vivid weird night time dreams. Judging the quality of my dreams, which are crazy, awful and even egregious I think that I won't go to heaven or hell, that instead I might wind up as an earthbound ghost. My hesitancy patterns in waking life also presents itself in dreams. However, I never heard of anyone having heavenly dreams every single night. Perhaps not even Jesus for he had to struggle with and overcome dark forces as part of his mission on Earth. Most people, from what I've read and heard on YouTube videos have guides to escort them to a better place in the afterlife even if they are hesitant of going into the light due to nervousness or fear.

Often crisis can be part of a chain of events that leads to opportunity. Had I not had burnout and forced myself to go on walks to deal with it, I would not have discovered the James Bay Inn restaurant. Which led me to do the Emily Carr cartoon which only has two or three more scenes before it wraps up. 

Doing the Emily Carr cartoon could lead me to be rich one day especially if her spirit helps me. Thinking like that is crazy. 

However to be rich is in some ways more difficult than being poor. It's more overwhelming and there's more things to think about. 

Being depressed when poor is more tangible than being really rich and being depressed. If the money doesn't help with the depression then what would? Rich or poor, it's either way you lose or else either way you win.

Although Vancouver is an immensely beautiful jewel of a civilized metropolis of a town, the dynamic for me is that I've lived there before and therefore it would be a regression to a former scene. A few months after returning to Vancouver the travelling stops and the regression starts. Living away from Vancouver, the regression stops and the travelling starts and hasn't stopped ever since. 

Although this town is an officious backwater fishbowl existence, it's a goldilocks zone town. Not too big and sprawling and not a really small town  backwater dead hole either. It's somewhere in the middle. And it's my home. 

Some people have the inability to be happy anywhere. 

That being said, if I live in a nice neighborhood in Vancouver, that would be all right.  Try to develop the ability to be happy anywhere. 

Smaller towns have a slower pace of life.

If I'm alive that means God has a purpose for me. The rest of my life could one day be the best years I've ever had. I might be wiser, more confident and even richer than ever. However, that's the ideal and may or may not be the reality. Anything can happen. Fatal accident, some weird disease. But so far so good. 

The pandemic passport is unlikely to end on January 31 in the middle of winter in the middle of flu season. Most likely it will be extended three or four months. 

Before, they said that children were least likely to be affected by the coronavirus. Now they are making all children even from kindergarten to grade 12 to wear masks. But it's a new strain and not the old strain. It could be a cash grab on the part of mask companies. 

Who knows about the future? The pandemic will go on longer than we think and also end suddenly and sooner than we think just like World War 2 and the Vietnam War. It ends suddenly. I'm sure that at the beginning of 1945 people were wondering if World War 2 would go on forever. Then it all of a sudden ended. 

I really don't know if I have a future. But lots of good things happened in my life I never thought would happen. I was able to move to this town and live here for years. I learned things on my scooter and also parkour that I didn't know at all ten years ago. I was able to animate cartoons on a tablet using a pen rather than just using a mouse. Etc etc 

The future is full of good surprises. 

Speaking of which, not only has a pill been developed for Covid, a vaccination patch has been developed for those who fear needles. In their words, "It is a pain free anxiety free alternative to the use of a needle for vaccination."

On Saturday, October 2, I was eating on the patio of Cactus Club. I had a Tina stack. Good! While I was there a mini protest of antivaxxers walked past and was yelling. At first I thought that the forces of life disapponted me again. But then I thought that I was lucky to see a part of history. One day museums will have an exhibit which includes a large picture of antivaxxers walking and yelling. 'During the 2020s, when there was a coronavirus pandemic, antivaxxers walked down the street and protested. That was back during the good old days.' 

Sunday, October 3, 2021

YouTube comment: Prescreened questions is not free press. 

YouTube comment: Front line heroes have turned into get the jab or you lose your job.

If the pandemic is about population control, why can't people just go to the hospital and be voluntarily euthanized? Why wouldn't such a program be set up? Why isn't that option available?  I'm sure that at least 1.5% to 2.5% or the population want to give up on life. Life is pointless and going nowhere. All the magic has gone out of life. Or else they are going through burnout of one kind or another. I often want to just give up on life and would consider going to the hospital to be euthanized if that is an option. 

The News said the Moderns vaccine has higher rates of heart inflammation. 1.6 million Moderna doses to be recalled in Japan because of foreign substances. 

At first I thought the News meant that the pandemic won't be over until the end of next year. Then when I watched again, they actually said economists say full economic recovery won't happen until the end of next year. There is a distinction. Economists are often wrong. 

I'm sure that in the beginning of 1945, some News outlets said that the war could go on another few years. Then after V-E day when it was announced that there was still a war in the Pacific with Japan, that it could go on for at least a couple of years of more. Wrong. It ended less than three months later. The future always has an unexpected good surprise. Einstein asked, Is it a friendly Universe or a hostile Universe? 

Judging from the scary quality of my dreams, it is a hostile Universe. I don't know if I believe in heaven. I think the afterlife is a perpetual continuation of dreams. But the dream spirit is linked to the identity of the living spirit, once one dies, that tether is broken and one reverts to being the basic soul or the soul behind the soul and is identity and ego free. Who knows where that goes? Dreams are closely linked with ones Earthly identity. One always sees the specific people that they know in this life, no one before this life and no one after life is seen in dreams. Not that one knows of anyways. 

Some people say they have seen their future children in dreams. I'm not sure how that works. I neither believe it nor disbelieve it. 

I saw today on Sunday October 3rd, a Jean Claude Van Couver video that talked about the old Woodward's having a spiral staircase that went nowhere. 

On Friday, October 1, I had a dream where I was in India. A lady took me up a wooden spiral to where I thought would lead to my accomodation room for the night. The stairs led to a dead end. Nowhere. In that dream I saw my old friend Harold W. I wonder if he's still alive? In that dream I met a 20 year old brown hair girl with a perfect face except for the pimples she had on her face. She was wearing a blue coat. At the very end of the dream, me and her kissed. 

Al my dreams are scary and weird. Last night I dreamed a nasty junkie was following me around. Then walking down the street, a rock was lifted and there were not one but two oversized coral or else milk snakes. As in red black yellow kill a fellow. Red yellow black venom lack. I didn't get a good look. At one point one of the snakes bit a grey fluffy cat in the face but let go. Snakes represent royalty. At the very end of the dream, the junkie gave me a big bowl of glass noodles with some other food in it. 

I've been seeing a lot of YouTube video recommendations about getting rich and being rich. They were Alive videos. Today on Sunday, my friend Dave from Vancouver told me about someone winning $7 million in the lottery. 

He also told me that Vancouver is full of this es especially the downtown Eastside which is the only neighborhood I could afford to live in. I had worries about people kicking in doors and stealing any electronic tech and whatever else. I don't know about moving to Vancouver now. I don't want to go travel and visit there until the pandemic is over. A pandemicky and wearing masks all the time is a worse Vancouver. It would only be a hurry through. The best way to visit Vancouver is a three or four day stay. Visiting such a large city like Vancouver for one day is like getting only one hour to visit Disneyland or the Smithsonian or British Museum. You need a few hours. I won't even visit Vancouver until the pandemic and masking is over and when the Jericho hostel is open again. 

A US security expert said, the dragon is slain but there are still the dangerous snakes in the garden. One day when the pandemic is over there will always be the small and mid sized problems. Getting older, the low grade depression and anxiety that mostly never seems to go away. Once in awhile you get the bliss. But if the bliss lasts too long, you get tired of that too for some odd reason. 

I spoke to a preacher. He said that the heaven people go to after they die is a very different place than people usually go to in their dreams. A lot of dreams is subconscious fears, worries, expectations etc. 

I don't know if I could handle being rich. I'd be older than I am now and getting old is depressing. I'd eventually get bored. I'm sure that rich people can often get bored and depressed like everyone else. I would try to live near Vanier Park or Point Grey. I would only rent an apartment even if I were rich. I would never purchase real estate. If you rent, if you're bored, you could move. 

Through what vector would I get rich? Maybe I might get an inheritance. Doubtful. Maybe I could be approached and be given money for publishing  my writings or rights to my cartoons. Other than that, it's impossible for me to get rich. Robert Kiyosaki said in Rich Dad Poor Dad that the poor say, "I'll never get rich." While the rich say, "What could I do or what could happen so I could be rich?" The poor say, "I can't afford it." The rich say, "What can I do to afford this?" I met a few millionaires in my life. 

Alux recommends reading Rich Dad Poor Dad from Robert Kiyosaki, Money Master the Game from Tony Robbins and The Millionaire Next Door which said that a lot of millionaires live inconspicuous and thrifty lives. And that a lot of milionaires live in middle class rather than upper class neighborhoods.

"Old age is not for sissies." Douglas Bloch

Gymnopedie, Erik Satie. Iconic music.

I've been wanting to know the name of this song for years. I often skip Church. I went there today for some reason and they played this song and the title was on the programme. If I missed going today, I would probably never have gotten it or at least not for years and years. 

Life is full of pleasant surprises

I have a good memory. That shouldn't scare me. It's not geeky to have a profound memory. Lots of older people remember things from decades ago. Lots of people in their eighties have memories that go back to childhood. That's normal.  I remember Vancouver bus routes if I am ever in Vancouver again. 4 UBC, 7 Dunbar,. 20 Granville/ 20 Victoria, 10 Arbutus, 14 Hastings, etc.  

Tuesday, October 5 

I went to Schwartz Bay on the bus today. It's the first time I did so since I moved here and I've lived here for over ten years. Before I went on the charter bus. SB isn't that much farther away from Sidney BC, just ten minutes after leaving Sidney BC, I was at the Ferry Terminal. The ferry named Coastal Celebration was going to Vancouver at noon. I wasn't going to be on it. I went back on the bus and went to Sidney. At Sidney, I first went to the Sidney museum for the first time. The Sidney museum had some displays of old Sidney including a store and a kitchen. I looked at some things twice but was careful not to take too long of a look at anything because that equals nervousness if not a crazy patch. No crazy patches! At the Sidney museum I saw an old Canadian $2 bill that had a picture of King George VI on it. $2 went a lot further back then. For $2 back then you could get a meal, a cup of coffee and a pack of smokes all for $2.  The Sidney museum had an awesome LEGO display. 

Good visit. Then I went to The Fish Store on the pier and got a locally made can of Royal Red Wild Salmon for $7.50 and a tub of oysters also for $7.50. I walked along Beacon Avenue. 

I wanted to go to Royal Aroma East Indian restaurant but it was closed. I went to the Tandoori bistro instead and treated myself to the buffet. When I left, I said Thank you to the waitress and she was also the cashier. My social skills are awful. I should have said, "Thank you. The food was really good. Thanks for bringing the bread to my table." The food was good. 

East Indians really know how to make curry. I have tried for years and to this day, I couldn't make it as good as the East Indian restaurant. You need exact amount of cumin, tumeric and coriander, if not exact amounts then that's a fuck up. You also need clarified butter or ghee. You also need to cook with yoghurt. I tried and the curry I made always tasted sour, bland, and off. Good curry has a sweet taste, is rich and flavorful. I'll leave it to the experts. Maybe one day I'll know how to do it. 

I need to go on trips to boost my serotonin. With luck I can get the Sunday vibes on days other than Sunday. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't work, it's a waste of time. It worked today.

I'm worried that one day I'll go to Vancouver and then not get the serotonin rush and then it will have been a waste of time. In the past I've had the most incredible serotonin rushes after going to Vanier Park. So much so that it infused my entire being and lasted well into the evening. I went "Oh!" the entire evening which was an outpouring of how much sheer heavenly bliss I was feeling. Often it is said that depression happens because at one time a person experienced real beautiful and heavenly feelings. It's relativity, one can't know bliss unless they've known the pain of depression and vice versa or else depression makes the bliss more valuable. 

It's impossible to feel bliss every day. The default stage of low key depression is one itable most days. Accept it. But I'm working on feeling the serotoninal bliss more and more often. I'd like to be laughing and giggling more often. For now I'll settle for the silent unexpressed bliss of mild Sunday vibes. And to see if I could get the Sunday vibes on days other than Sunday. I still fear my night time dreams. Oh no, it's that time again, night time and the dreams will soon return. Although it's only recently that I've started to fear my night time dreams. I've had more or less the same intensity of dreams for decades and it didn't bother me before. I thought they were funky and interesting, actually. Hopefully I can get back to not fearing my dreams again. 

Crazy patch, that expression comes from the Jason Straitham movie called Redemption.

When I had my burnout back in July, I thought I'd never feel bliss or Sunday vibes ever again. Was I ever wrong! I have and quite a few times since. At the time burnout feels like it's going to be forever but give it time. It's pretty much inevitable that one will heal from it. Just give it time. 

Douglas Bloch techniques: 

1) Set an intention to heal: What would it look like if I were fully recovered from this depression: I will be happy everyday with the inevitable depression moments few and far in between which can be overlooked. I would enjoy smoking pot even. I would enjoy my apps and go scooter riding more often. The ultimate: I would be ready without hesitation to travel to Vancouver anytime even to England anytime without any fear. 

I would no longer fear my dreams at night.

2) At least two things I am grateful for: I am grateful for my good health. Any day not in the ICU is a good day. I am grateful for the few friends that I have. Grateful I have a roof over my head. Grateful for my big screen TV. And grateful for Google and YouTube. Grateful to be in a clean town with lots to do and a town with a slow pace of life compared to the really big cities.

3) If I killed myself ten years ago what would I have missed out on that I'm glad to have now: My friends. I learned some parkour and some skills on my scooter. I have gotten tablets with bigger screens than Sony PSP and Nintendo DS. My tablets which enabled me to hand draw my cartoons rather than to use a mouse to draw.. I got a digital Sony Walkman. My Royal dreams and the chance to see some actual Royal figures in real life. I got my big screen 4K HDTV. All this I would not have gotten had I killed myself ten years ago. I was able to discover and to travel to Sidney. I don't know what inspired !e to do it the first time though. I heard there was a town called Sidney and I thought I'd check it out I guess. I'm glad I did. It is a jewel of a town. Clean and with an even slower pace of life than this town I am in now.  I am glad I discovered the James Bay Inn which is an elegant old Fawlty Towers style of hotel with an opulent luxurious restaurant which I visit often to give myself a taste of the rich life. 

Friday, October 8

Just a worry. The body naturally produces antibodies. The vaccine floods the body with an excess of new antibodies. The body gets a message, "There's more than enough antibodies. No need to produce any more for the time being." Enough vaccinations and this could impede the body's natural inclination to produce antibodies making people prone to diseases, the flu etc etc. Is this true or not? If it's really depopulation they're after why not set up euthanization clinics at the hospital. A lot of people feel that their lives are bereft of hope. Why bother living? I often feel that way about my life. What future do I have? 

"It will get worse before it gets worse." Lily Tomlin

Sunday, October 10

I went to an Anglican Church today. I was there ten years ago but for some reason didn't go back for awhile aside from a few times. I usually go to and still will go to a Presbyterian Church. All good people. 

The Church inspired me. The architecture made me feel even more at home in this city than I usually do. Going to the Church made me feel less like that I have to move back to Vancouver. This city is my home. 

I have to be a better Christian. That means an absence of fear, always reversing the name of the Lord and to never take the Lord's name in vain. Ever. Instead of for God's sake, its better to say for goodness sake. Etc. 

Being a good Christian means helping your neighbor. There is a handicapped lady I have been helping for over a year now. I thought I did it out of weakness. But now, being a better Christian, I see that I did it from strength. I will never be the perfect Christian. Romans says "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God." So much for perfection. Hopefully the influence of the Church and it's beautiful architecture can help my dreams be less nightmarish or else help me to become less scared of my dreams. God reveals himself in dreams and often dreams are a kind of advice in disguise. 

One can play one off against another. After having weird scary dreams, any movies would seem less scary. Or else the scary movies can make dreams seems less scary. 

I saw the movie The Card Counter starring Oscar Isaacson aka Poe in Star Wars. "Casinos don't care if you count cards. They don't care if you count cards and win. They do care if you count cards and win big." In the movie he won $750 and walked out of the casino. It wasn't even $1,000 that he won. That's the way to do it I guess. His game of choice was blackjack. 

In the movie he had a weird scary dream about his former Army days. 

There's another peripheral plot aside from his being a card counter but you'll have to watch the movie. It was an entertaining movie and I didn't fall asleep in the middle of it. It was a bit scary but it's a toss up between which is scarier. My night time dreams or that movie.  It was a good movie. 

Emily Carr house. My drawing.

In the book Emily Carr's Woo that Constance Horne wrote, it was written that Woo ate green paint and got sick. 

In the book Heart of a Peacock that Emily Carr wrote, in the section of the book entitled Woo's Life, she wrote that Woo ate yellow paint and got sick.

She even nearly cancelled an art talk she was scheduled to make to tend to Woo. 

Setting an intention to heal. Life can be stressful. 

I will know that I am fully well again when I can joke and laugh often every day. I will know that I am well again when I can have to courage to travel to Vancouver with my scooter and to travel to England. I'll be well again when I can feel that I am not old and over the hill at age 51 but still relatively young with at least 18 and a half years to go, five or take a few years. I don't know if I'll make it to 80. I don't know if I'll make it to 60 but I'll see. 

I have dreamed of being a well paid writer. My writings have gotten me nowhere and have been a useless venture. No one is obligated to explain themself - for life! Quitting is sometimes the best thing to do. Quit for the sake of a simpler life. 

Feeling so stressed, I am not sure when I will be fully well again. I will know when I feel confident enough to travel and to be laughing and making jokes every day. 

The future can be full of good surprises. What surprises? I don't know, otherwise it wouldn't be a surprise. 

I do believe in God and I believe that God will help me if I prove to be a good person and the best person I can be. 

That's it for my writing. It's been what it is. 

The drawing of the Emily Carr house pictured above will be featured in the last cartoon I ever make. It hasn't worked out so the best thing to do is to quit. What's the use of having a talent if it doesn't make you money? 

I have dreams of moving to Vancouver and living in a nice neighbourhood although I am always moving my goalposts. At one point I wanted to move to another country. At one point I wanted to live near the beach in this town if I get rich. No, the cartoons aren't working out. They don't have much dialogue and I don't want to ask people to like share and subscribe as that has never been my style. If it works out keep doing it. If something doesn't work out, the best thing to do is to quit. Something not working out is a sign that it's better to quit. 

Being on the internet gives me a bit of anxiety and also stage fright. It's a crazy thing to do anyways. Too crazy. Better to just quit. 

I'll probably keep on writing in this journal from time to time. 

One day I will find THE Answer, the golden answer to: How do I get over the fear of getting old? The answer I'm looking for will come from an unexpected source at an unexpected time. It will be the answer I'll carry with me for the rest of my life. 

Also the answer to: How do I conquer depression and anxiety and fear for the rest of my life? Those are the two questions I need an answer to. I like to research. Therefore I will ask not one but a lot of people the question. 

I preach asked two Priests the question: Do we as Christians really go to heaven when we die? Judging from my dreams I think we just go to that crazy place we go to in our dreams. 

Incidentally, since my friends who died visited me in my dreams, that confirms that they do indeed on one level or another go to the crazy dream place. 

One Priest said, We do go to heaven. Dreams are just the subconscious. 

Another Priest said, God reveals Himself to us in our dreams. 

 One to think of it, I remember dealing with depression all of my life, in this town and that town. I don't know if I will ever get over it. My only margin of hope is that with age comes wisdom and that I can one day be happier than I've ever been. Not to be happy again but perhaps to be truly happy for the first time. Hopefully age comes with the presence of mind to be truly happy. 

I spoke with someone asking, You're 61. I'm 51 and scared of getting old. Is it scary to be 60? 

He said, Oh! Everything hurts. Everything that has ever hurt hurts like it did the first time it hurt. 

Not reassuring. Obviously I'm looking for other answers. 

I know that 60 is the age to really be scared of getting old and scared of death too. Momento mori. However, I like to study in advance for exams. I hope to conquer this fear and to get it out of my system early at 51 so I'll be better prepared for it if not get it completely over with when or if I turn 60. 

With every decade after 50, there's a 75% chance that you'll make it to next year but only a 50% chance that you'll make it to the end of the decade.

At 60, it's any decade now.

At 70, it's any year now.

At 80, it's any month now.

At 90, it's any week now. 

At 100, it's any day now. 

Getting old is fun but some people seems to have mastered it. The News has a few inspiring stories: An East Indian man hikes up a local mountain every week at age 87. A 95 year old man rides a skateboard along with a stick he uses to propel and balance with. A 79 year old Black man who is an artist found love on silver singles dot com. 

The internet has endless lists of people who accomplished this and that, swimming long distances, running marathons and mountain climbing etc when they were old. Anyone can look up these lists. 

"When you're young, it seems like life goes on forever. But you get to my parents age and it's Christ, only seventeen summers to go." Matt Dillon

At age 51 and a half, as I am, it's only 18 and a half years to age 70. Time is closing in. I have to find a way to get over precipitating fears of getting old. 

The fear of getting old is one fear that the end of the pandemic can not take away. In fact, it will be worse because I'd only be older then.

There's only one thing worse than getting old and that's dying young. 

One day when I find THE Answers to 

1) how to get over the fear of getting old

2) how to conquer anxiety and depression and fear once and for all

3) how to completely get over any fear of dreams which in their nature and weird, crazy and baffling

I'll share it with anyone who reads this blog which I think is just about no one. 

I want to research and to master these topics. These are the most important topics to research, more important than researching how to start and to successfully run an ant farm with prenolepis imparis or honey pot ants.

One day, unexpectedly, I will find the answers. This is the most important quest of my life.

Alux dot com says in their video, '15 Lies You've Been Told' that there is no heaven or hell or even afterlife. When a person dies, their body rots and their brain shuts off. The body then gets recycled back to the Earth. Heaven or hell is created in life through the choices people make. 

I guess I'm fucked. Thanks to my uncertainly and ever prepossessing depression and anxiety and fear, my life is a perpetual hell. Hell on Earth. I have felt heavenly in rare instances when I was in certain places and not other places in Vancouver. For eg UBC and Vanier Park and Oppenheimer Park I believe has heavenly vibes but that wears off in a few days. Then you're trapped in a sprawling city. Every escape and diversion eventually becomes a trap. However in the suburbs for eg on Fraser and 49th, I feel nothing. Indifferent and numb. No heavenly vibes, just neutral vibes. 

According to Alux dot com, religions have been bullshitting people about heaven and hell and the afterlife for centuries to co-opt converts to their cause for the purposes of perpetuating sycophancy and also donations and also government subsidies. 

I don't care. Church weaves a spell. From the stained glass windows to the music which uses a different set of notes than rock music, the religion scale and the love scales of music respectively, Church enhances Sunday vibes and for a few hours once a week on some and not all weeks, I actually feel blissful which is a lot better than ongoing depression. I've experienced this bliss going to Christian Churches and as well to Buddhist temples.

That's if you believe Alux dot com. Just about every Priest and people who have had near death experiences would take offense to what Alux believes. There is no empirical proof on the basis of this dimension about the afterlife. However the afterlife is comprised of a different dimension so how can evidence be extracted. 

Richard Dawkins and the late Christopher Hitchens believe or believed as the case may be in no afterlife either. Alux dot com. Maybe Atheist dot com. Etymologically, Alux means no light. That should be a clue. They should just stick to their Think and Grow Rich type videos and not talk about the afterlife. They don't know. I doubt that religions would be bullshitting people for centuries. Most Priests have seen and experienced things that most people haven't. Things that point to the existence of a divine force of God.

As well, Alux is about rich people and the rich life. A lot of very rich people even Royalty goes to Church. Are they wrong? 

I myself don't know for sure. I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. From the weird wacky dreams I've had, I think that the afterlife is one perpetual eternal weird wacky crazy dream. No heaven or hell but rather a forever limbo or purgatory of weird wacky crazy dreams and with no reprieve and with no escaping to this waking world. On the plus side, in that world, if you find a rare edition comic book or a rare Star Wars action figure, it's yours forever. 

Who really knows? What choice do we have but to go on living and to die one day and find out? It would be wonderful and something to look forward to, to one day finally find out once and for all. 

"You shouldn't worry about things you can't control." Enjoy Yourself, The Jackson Five

On my Huawei Mediapad T5 AGS5 L03 tablet, every game I recently installed in the last two days specifically Paper Train Rush and Talking Tom Gold Run has the Google Play 'Hello there!' pop up prompt appears on the top of the screen every 15 seconds again and again and again and again and again and again and again etc. This never happened before on this tablet and never happens on any of my other tablets including other Huawei tablets. What's wrong with it? Is it spazzing out or what?! I want to send a report. Only in the last couple of days, today on Tuesday October 12, 2021 and yesterday too on Monday October 11, 2021. SNAFU? Deus ex machina or ghost in the machine? Or glitch? What? 

I am truly truly sorry that I wrote such claptrap on twitter and on this blog as, "I am better off dead. I should get some heroin and overdose. Better no life than a bad life. Life owes you nothing and you owe life nothing. If life has given up on you then give up on life. Draw a big black circle around the circle of life and blot out everything within it." I was undergoing clinical depression. What else is new? 

I hope that no one killed themself after reading what I wrote. I also wrote other intellectual things to go with that. I was going through a Nietzschean dark night of the soul and wanted to let others know that if they were also going through that, that they were not alone. 

A thousand people might have read that and out of that, maybe one or two people would have done themself in. But that's because they were more or less already there. Something else would have soon easily pushed them over the edge. Again, I am very sorry that I wrote that. But that was really my erroneous line of thought then that I was applying to myself. Wrong. Bad. 

I'm going to spend the rest of my life saying that you have to live at all costs. However difficult it gets, change is the only constant and that you have to hang on and live just as I'm doing. I've gone through the profound depression of caregiver burnout although I think that has more to do with days of drinking energy drinks all night and not sleeping until 5:30 in the morning than actual caregiver burnout. That's not cool. 

Also during the early summer of 2021 I was feeling the temperature was rising sharply and I was attributing that to other things. Sharp temperature rises or falling can contribute to sudden depression or burnout. Watch out for that. 

The normal way is to sleep around midnight and earlier and sleep until 7 in the morning. Earlier if you have to wake up early to go to work. Get a normal nights full of sleep or burnout will happen eventually. It was sheer debilitating exhaustion. 

I was only a caretaker for about an hour a day. That won't give you burnout. Burnout happens if you work more than eight hours a day. However, I was working every day, 7 days a week for 9 months falsely emotionally blackmailing myself that if I didn't work, the handicapped lady I worked for would die. Wrong! 

The burnout came from multiple sources. The perfect storm.

Stay alive. Eventually you'll get on to a whole new groove that will invigorate your zest and will to live. Remember, however hard it gets, stay alive for yourself and for others.

The future is full of good surprises that are definitely worth staying alive for.

Maybe or maybe not in the short term, but in the long term definitely.  

People who are lifelong low grade depressed have a lot of traits that more happy go lucky people don't have. They have a contemplative and industrial nature that steadily gets things done. 

Quiet pandemic nights getting you down? Or scared?

In the YouTube video Age of Loneliness from Only Human, a lady lives in the country. She absolutely just loves the quiet. The thing to do is to really enjoy the quiet as if you're living in the country. 

I'd like to make money through my cartoons and writing but through what vector? I haven't been able to enable YouTube monetization. I don't know how. I think you have to agree to let ads go on your videos and you have to have a minimum number of subscribers which I don't have. 

My cartoons and writing is like busking. Buskers get a lot of people walking past and seeing them. Few talk to them. Even fewer give them money. 

Justin Bieber and Michael Buble were once buskers. 

I think the way I can get money is if someone, an angel investor discovers me and offers to buy the rights to broadcast my cartoons and or writings on their channel. Or else some other way unforseen. There's always hope. You never know what the future can bring. The future will find a way. Otherwise I think that I might just quit my cartoons. Writing is a lot easier to do. Cartoons are too labour intensive and require some plot line that writing doesn't always.

Thursday October 14

I am always cracking my right hand thumb at the knuckle point. For the last few days it would sometimes twitch slightly. Is it Parkinson's? I hope not. It happens nowhere else in my body. And it only shows up sometimes and not all the time. 

Friday, October 15

Frank Herbert was 65 when he wrote Dune. At age 51, I'm not that old. I'm still relatively young. 

Sometimes I see an interesting bit of garbage on the street. I pick it up and collect it. Usually I throw it away a few days later. What. Am I supposed to keep it for life?!

The YouTube channel Only Human has videos about people who have taken hoarding to a whole other level. One video is titled, "A Woman Can Not Sit Next To Her Husband Due To Hoarding". I thought that was funny. 

Saturday, October 16

Month half over. If the vaccine passport is on from Sept 13 to Jan 31, that's about 4 and a half months. At the end of October, it's one third over. At the end of November, it's one half over. Not even half way through yet. But the days go fast! If at age 5, one year is a fifth of their life so far and if at age 50, one year is a fiftieth of their life so far, the next two thirds will go as fast as the first third. 

Days go fast! Especially since every night is the scary time. A time when I go to sleep and have another weird dream. So weird I wake up wondering if I'm crazy. Then I get fearful and depressed and wonder if I'm better off dead. I won't commit suicide. I leave my death in God's hands or else in the hands of fate. This is better than I've ever been because before I was always thinking of suicide via heroin overdose is the way to quit life altogether. 

The forces of life are hell. I often see people coincidentally, people I don't really like to see. Life seems to throw them at me all the time. I walk out and it's, "Oh no! Not that person again!" Damn the forces of life! 

Inflation gets me depressed. The price of food, even finding a place to live is getting more and more expensive. That's a disincentive to living. 

Getting over a newly acquired fear of dreams is like getting over any phobia. I used to be afraid of dogs and raw carrots. Now I think most of not all dogs are cute and I love raw carrot juice. Eating raw carrots is very good for the vision. 

I sometimes see this East Indian or else Black man. I'm not sure. Anyways I've often seen him in a temper tantrum on the streets. Just yelling at someone. He would point to them and just yell obscenities at them. I once saw him on a Saturday on the way back from KFC. He was just there on the street. And I saw him today, not yelling, crossing the street. I wonder if he's an undercover cop or agent from India who's stalking me. The internet does talk about foreign agents. An East Indian Policy Officer followed me on twitter, that is, when I was on twitter years ago. It's been years. If they are planning to arrest me, they're sure taking their old sweet time about it. 

Life is so difficult, in many ways, it would be easier if I was dead. But I have to live. A few events over the last decade made me glad that I didn't do myself in in 2012. I would have missed out on seeing Royalty, having Royal dreams, getting a tablet, and getting a 4k HDTV. 

Maybe there will be a few events over the next decade that will make me glad that I didn't kill myself this year. That's life. Don't kill yourself. You never know what good surprises the next few years will bring. 

Another thing is, that East Indian or Black man that yells obscenities all the time, he never seems to get arrested or sent to the mental ward. If I did that all the time, the cops would surely bust me and send me to the mental ward. Why not that guy? He doesn't seem to ever get busted, as far as I know. I once saw him yelling just outside of Denny's. Just pointing a finger and then yelling and swearing. I walked past him but he didn't even look at me. He was looking somewhere else and just yelling yelling yelling. Cursing a blue streak. He might be Black because he looks like a young Michael Jackson from his Off The Wall album or before. And before he got all that plastic surgery. He has a chubby face and big nose and looks like a young Michael Jackson. And yelling too. 

I doubt that the actual Michael Jackson was ever that vitriolic. One time, Michael Jackson said of someone, "He has so much but he still hasn't learned how to be happy." 

If you're depressed and then really happy, you get diagnosed with bipolar disorder. If you are always depressed, you get diagnosed with chronic depression. The best way is to be slightly above depressed at all times. Be at all times just slightly happier than feeling depressed. 

If I wake up from a weird dream I have to remember to be happy that I'm alive. Last night, I dreamed of Emily Carr's monkey. That the monkey didn't sit at a regular table but sat at a smaller toy tea set table. This dream was very disturbing to me and I woke up at 3 am scared that I'm losing my mind. If the cops knew how crazy my dreams are, they'd bust me. 

Every time I think of writing about my dreams, I think, if I write about this dream, they'll send me to jail! So I don't write about it. Not the full details. I often leave bits out when I write about my dreams. Too crazy. I don't want to be busted and sent to jail! Or else killed. Maybe street people would kill me for having such a crazy dream symptomatic that I myself am crazy. My aim in life is to be normal, to be sailing on an even keel. And to not do anything that would get me busted and then imprisoned. I think that just about everyone on the planet thinks that. Anyone who isn't crazy! 

Dreams don't kill a person unless they have SUNDS and that is an extenuating condition or else a comorbidity situation. SUNDS is super rare. 

SUNDS is a cardiac arrest and reportedly, a lot of the people who have it are middle aged Asian men like yours truly. Therefore, theoretically, I could get SUNDS any day now. SUNDS means sudden unexplained nocturnal death syndrome. 

The tendency to want to write about dreams makes me have a tendency to remember them more. And I don't want to remember them! When I smoked pot, the dreams didn't seem so long and I didn't remember as much as I do now. I'm thinking of smoking pot again but that would result in a $200 hole in the pocket every month. Forget it. I'm wired to eating at restaurants these days. Less restaurants, more free meals at the Community Centre and more food bought at grocery stores frees up the money for smoking pot. But if I haven't smoked for awhile and I have that first toke, the paranoia is right through the roof! Every micro detail in my life is scary let alone the major details like that the global pandemic rages on. And I think that people are planning to kill me. If they are, hurry up and get it over with. But if they kill me, aren't they under the law like everybody is? If they kill me, they might face justice. That is might. If a high ranking agent foreign or domestic kills me, they might not face justice at all. 

Smoking pot cuts down on the dream life but smoking pot leads to some insomnia which is why. Although it might not seem like it, a full night of sleep with long and multiple vivid dreams is much healthier than insomnia with few to no dreams. 

I am planning to see the movie Dune next week. They don't make movies like they used to. There is a shift in production values and movies are more meaner and edgier than they used to be. I think that seeing Dune will worsen my general overall depression and fear of life. If I'm going to go through life so depressed and scared, I wonder why God doesn't just finish me off? Why doesn't God just kill me? I'm baffled that I'm still alive. What for? What's ahead? I'm thinking poverty, loneliness, depression, old age and then one day, an utterly wretched death. God please reveal to me the reason that I'm still alive. That's all I ask. Well not all. I also asked to be released from boredom depression and fear. I asked to be relieved of my newly acquired dear of night time dreams and also fear of getting older and old age. God, please help me. And hopefully you can help everyone else who has these fears. 

I really would rather not write about my dreams anymore. They're getting too crazy, even for me. 

Sunday, October 17

Google Play Services keeps sending me a notification: Your data isn't backed up. Add a back up account now. 

I don't plan on ever doing that. It asks for 15 GB of data storage space. I don't have 15 GB to spare on my tablet. 

Also it asks for a cell phone number. I don't have a cell phone. 

Happiness is self suggestive. So is depression. The more I tell myself that I have depression, the more depressed I am. So I tell myself that I am happy. Or else happy enough. Not a giddy kind of happiness but a quiet kind of happiness. Life is good. I am a good person. I believe in God.

Any old thing you say to yourself even if it sounds unbelievable at first, will take on a life of its own soon enough and you will believe it. Tell yourself that you're chronically depressed, suffer from extreme anxiety and burnout, that you're scared and doomed and you'll believe it.

Tell yourself that you're happy happy happy all the time and you'll believe it soon enough.

"Act as if you were already happy and that will tend to make you happy."  Dale Carnegie

I don't know if I'll do a cartoon ever again. It just isn't working out for me. Hardly any view count. A few good comments once in awhile, few and far in between. Usually spam comments or else bad comments. And no money. Not even one cent. Not worth it. Having a talent that makes no money isn't good. Time to quit. The signs are there. I don't know about writing anymore either. Until the pandemic ends and if I feel much happier, I might do it then. Otherwise it's not worth it.  

Bad News: About 17 Christian missionaries are being held for ransom in Haiti by a gang*. 

Hopefully the Christian missionaries are all freed. It's about money.

"I want money, Jack. I wish I had some loftier purpose, but I'm afraid in the end it's just the money, Jack." Dennis Hopper, Speed

*Source: CBC, The National, Sunday October 17, 2021

The Apostle Paul was detained not for money but for his Christian beliefs. 

Money is the root of all evil it seems. 

Whether or not the gangs get the money, they got their own problems. They got themselves. Game of Thrones Merwyn Trant said that assholes will eventually get what's coming to them. 

In life we all knowingly or unknowingly conduct self experiments. Try the experiment of being a good person and see what happens in the long run. Or try the experiment of being a bad person and see what happens in the long run - that is not an experiment that I want to try. 

The Christian missionaries should be returned alive. If not then the situation would take on a new dynamic. 

As if that country doesn't already have a problem with attracting the tourists and tourist driven revenue. 

Gang leader threatens to kill missionaries unless a ransom of $1 million per missionary is paid. If he kills them he gets no money and will be looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life. $1million American for 16 of the hostages and $1 million Canadian for one of them. How could they expect American money for a Canadian?! 

The World seems to be getting worse. What hope is there for the future? Bereft of hope. Inflation. Global warming. In spite of that, it's important to have courage and to have faith. It is difficult times that help a person to find a strength that they never thought that they had. Adversity builds character.

YouTube comment: Bad times create strong people which create good times. Good times create weak people which create bad times. It's a cycle. 

It seems now that every Christian Church on the planet is aware of and praying for the Christian missionaries held for ransom in Haiti. 

The vaccine passport won't end on January 31. It will be extended to cover a third booster shot. Third booster shots are already happening in the Northwest Territories. 

A two year pandemic plan for a disease which has a less than one percent mortality rate and a two week incubation period. 

It's tempting to say that in extraordinary times like during a global pandemic, that the government really shows how competent or else how incompetent it is. Rather than admit failure or mistake or that they're in over their head, the method is to double down and to crack on. 

Again, if you say a politician is corrupt, they're so morally perverse that they actually like that. Instead politicians can be thought of as sleazy, venal, opportunist, ignorant, undisciplined, delinquent, incompetent, underqualified or overqualified.

Sure it's not about happiness it's about power but what is power coming from people who don't really have power over themselves?

"Never speak truth to power. Power has no use for truth." Vikings TV series

And truth has no use for power. 

Politicians have a hundred times the money as most people, they're rich, but they aren't a hundred times happier. The rich are just as bitter and envious and resentful and jealous and angry and scared as everybody else is. 

The structure of politics is somewhat anachronistic and goes back to the days of tribes and tribalism. They could improve on the system but they lack the political will to do it. 

"Never ascribe to malice that which can be explained by incompetence." Hanlon's Razor

"Loyalty to country always. Loyalty to government when it deserves it." Mark Twain

The task is to respect the government in whatever current incarnation or iteration. 

What alternative is there? Lawlessness and anarchy?! Forget that!! The best way to proceed is to respect, revere, and be thankful to the government in spite of shortcomings. It is more of an accomplishment to respect government in uncertain times than in good times.

All problems wither under the glare of good government. 

Anita Baker, Rapture. I bought that CD in 1987. It was an album in which every single song is good. I rediscovered it this year. Recommended although there's no accounting for taste. My taste in music I think is good. 

My taste in porn is trash, garbage which makes me think that I have no future when it comes to romance. However no future is better than a bad future. Thinking one has a bad future requires certainty and no one has certainty when it comes to the future. About the future? I don't know and I don't care. It will be whatever it is. The future is left in God's hands or else the hands of fate. 

Romance is a slippery slope that can lead to being on the hook for child support. Bringing a child into this world is like bringing someone to hell without their permission. 

The Royal BC Museum has a display which says that in 2080, the average temperature will be 5 to 8 degrees Celsius higher than it is now. Not a World that one would want to bring children into if they thought it through. 

My family. A dog shit shitshow set up. I've never seen my birth certificate. Therefore am I supposed to think that they're really my family? Maybe they are, maybe they're not. Am I supposed to act like I've seen my birth certificate. Am I supposed to think as if I've seen my birth certificate? 

I was withheld from knowing my mother's side of the family. All those huge family gatherings was only ever people from my ostensible father's side of the family. What an odd set up. Knowing me I don't know that if I ever met relatives from my mother's side of the family that I'd like them any more either. Why way you slice it, it's a regression. 

Bring forth another generation of what? 

Also, I don't believe in the human species. Too many humans are undisciplined delinquents. I see it every day. I generate a certain kind of energy and get another and much worse kind of energy in return. That's because that's the only kind of energy they're capable of giving in return. That sums up much of my experiences with the human species. I'm glad that I never had children, come to think of it. At age 51, is it something that I really have to think about anymore? That ship has sailed. 

I'm glad that I never brought a member of the pernicious undisciplined delinquent human species into this World.

"How much sharper than a serpent's tooth is an ungrateful child." King Lear

Parental burnout.

I don't care if people download and rip off my cartoons and don't pay me. Like millions of others I download songs into mp3s for free all the time. In the old days I would press record on a cassette player whenever a good song was on the radio. The songs are on at least as much a genius and professional level as my cartoons are. Just the same, I don't like the way the human species has treated me on YouTube when it comes to my cartoons. Low view count, few good comments and just as much shit comments or spam and on one video I have at least 200,000 dislikes. Again, the human species. Therefore it's not worth my fucking while. If you were treated in your YouTube career like I was treated, you'd quit too. I might get suggestions to return but suggestions without money is garbage. Suggestions without money to back it up is worthless bullshit coming from a useless garbage source. 

Don't listen to my opinions. I am human and I make mistakes. Try to find a better opinion for yourself and I will also try to develop my opinions to be better opinions over time. Zen teaches to let go of what's not important.  

YouTube has a movie called The Space Between Us. It's about a child born on Mars. Going to Mars, the stress involved would be like going through a hundred global pandemics simultaneously. 

For a child to be born on Mars. The first wave going to Mars would need some doctors and some Police Officers. 

A Police Officer would arrest someone on Mars and tell them that they're going to prison. The person would reply, "Are you kidding? Mars is already a prison." 

Money would be useless on Mars. Someone on Mars could order something on Amazon and it would arrive in about 5 years. 

Mars is impossible. The different gravity on Mars would 100% lead to medical fuck ups for all involved. The only planets that could be colonized is one that has a gravity 100% of that of Earth. Otherwise, forget it! 

Tuesday, October 19, 2021

"The new Swiffer mop absorbs water deep inside."

Your mother's vagina absorbs my sperm deep inside.

Only Canada would have two pronunciations for Trudeau.

The old Pierre Trudeau, that Trudeau was pronounced as rhyming with Rousseau.

Justin Trudeau, that Trudeau is pronounced as rhyming with judo. 

What a linguistic perversion. 

The News does that and that underscores Canada as a dumbed down backwater. 

Canada is the same country that had two football teams called The Roughriders. Ottawa Roughriders and Saskatchewan Roughriders. They couldn't come up with another name for a football team?

Rousseau Trudeau or judo Trudeau, make up your mind. 

Did Bush George Bush or Bush George W have two different pronunciations? 

Rousseau Trudeau is more closer to the original French pronunciation. 

Judo Trudeau is an anglified perverse iteration of pronunciation. 

Maybe it's the British pronunciation. Or maybe it's just the addled television News which underscores the addled backwater nature of this country. Case in point, no Stanley Cup won in Canada since 1993. 

British pronunciation of certain words is often different from N American pronunciation of words like advertisement and even Canada, Canadar. 

The keyboard layout changed. It used to look different. I liked the old style better but am getting used to this new style. 

I visited my girlfriend last night. She has Christmas lights. Lambada Koama was on the television. Uplifting song! Christmas miracle. 

Thursday October 21

I saw No Time To Die in the theater. 

Spoiler: James Bond dies at the end of the movie. I wept one tear running down when the movie was over. I couldn't help it. 

After the credits rolled, the words 'James Bond will return'. 

Who will be the next Bond?

I was wrong. The new James Bond movie has nothing to do with quantum computers. It has to do with a deadly designer virus called Heracles aka Hercules that targets certain DNA and has nanorobots released in the blood. Which is what anti vaxxers say the Covid vaccine is. 

The House of Gucci looks like a very good very flashy movie. Lady Gaga plays Patrizia Reggiani and Adam Driver plays Maurizio Gucci. 

In real life, Patrizia Reggiani hired a hitman to murder Maurizio Gucci in 1995. She is legally no longer allowed to use the name Gucci. I wonder why? 

In the 80s, I had a knock off Gucci wristwatch with the green and red Gucci colors. I couldn't have imagined then that such a tragedy would occur to the Gucci family. I would never have wanted anything like that to happen. Shocking! 

If I see a knockoff Gucci wristwatch again, I might get it. Well, even a knockoff Gucci watch is pricey. Online it's over $100. I can't afford that. 

I am planning to see Dune tomorrow at a regular theater. I could see it at Imax at Silvercity theater. I hope that Dune will show at the Royal BC Museum Imax. 

Dune is really only Dune part 1. But after seeing Lord of the Rings trilogy and the Hobbit trilogy and Star Wars trilogy, I'm used to that. 

Dune is a lot like Islam. Paul Atreides makes a hejira from the planet Caladan to the planet Arrakis. 

I'd like to make a voyage from my city to Vancouver. 

"And you wanted to dance so I asked you to dance but fear is in your soul." Duran Duran, Save A Prayer

I'd visit Vancouver but fear is in my soul. May God and angelic guides help me to overcome fear in my old age. Old age is the final but often the best act in one's life. Most American Presidents were old when they were a POTUS. 

I was thinking of visiting Vancouver sometime next week. Canceled. 

Vancouver is very dangerous. Vancouver Police said on the News that random attacks on strangers is increasing. Then the weather forecast calls for rain. I was advised not to go there if it rains. Better to go on a sunny day. 

Besides a Covid Vancouver is a less good Vancouver. There is an average of over 500 new Covid cases a day in BC. 

Vancouver, I love you and I will always love you but I will wait until next year to go to Vancouver. Next Spring when the weather is better and maybe I'll stay at Jericho hostel. I never slept 4 in a room in a hostel before. I'm worried that someone will steal my tablet. Can I charge the tablet in the hostel room? Some hotels in the rough downtown Eastside have private rooms at a very reasonable price. Most of the poor in the downtown Eastside are like Joe in the movie Polar Express. They are poor, used to rough sleeping but have angelic hearts. Besides I'm poor too, being on welfare. A lot of the drug dealers there carry over $1,000 walking around money, they are much richer than me. They wouldn't look twice at a tablet that I paid $100 for. My tablet is an older model. A few years old. 

God bless the poor of Vancouver. I hope that they all find a brighter future. Just as I hope that I can have a brighter future however that looks like. 

A lot of the poor in the downtown Eastside of Vancouver ride on electric wheelchair scooters and those cost over $1,000 and no one attacks them. I wish them all the best. May they find the heaven on Earth that they are looking for. 

My visit to Vancouver would ideally be visit Granville Street, eat at Pacific Centre Mall food court. Then visit Vanier Park including Museum of Vancouver, and the Maritime Museum. Then visit UBC and the Museum of Anthropology and visit Trail 3 and see the old World War 2 gun towers. Good and heavenly vibes. Then visit Oppenheimer Park because there is a Christmas all year round vibe there. Or maybe it's just me. I'm sure some people go to Oppenheimer Park or even Trail 3 and feel nothing. 

Ideally means probably. There might be variations including Robson Street, Stanley Park, and Granville Island. 

Vancouver involves lots of walking and that would be hell for my plantar fasciitis. I'll need new PF insoles for my shoes before going to Vancouver. Wearing two socks per foot rather than just one sock per foot helps. 

I hope that my cartoon about Emily Carr's monkey inspires the CBC to make a movie about Emily Carr's monkey. Or even Hollywood but I doubt it. This would be below Hollywood's radar.

The movie would perhaps start with a few people on a boat chatting about current events or joking about each other's wives as the boat approaches a jungle island off of Borneo. Then scenes of the jungle featuring some monkeys in jungle trees. 

A few monkeys are caught including the baby monkey that would be Emily Carr's Woo. 

At a pet shop in Victoria BC a lady at an old fashioned pet store with old fashioned pet cages talks on an old fashioned phone saying, "Instead of money, would you be willing to trade one of your griffin dog pups? A dog pup would move faster than a monkey in this town." The scene would focus on the old fashioned design of pet cages. 

Then who walks in but Emily Carr. 

Emily Carr takes the monkey home and says to the monkey, "I will name you Woo for the sound you make. Woo! Woo!" 

Emily Carr introduces the monkey to her many pets and then to her four sisters. 

Scenes of the monkey fighting with some of Emily Carr's pets including dogs, cats and a parrot. 

Scenes of Emily Carr smoking hand rolled cigarettes and taking the monkey and other pets to the beach, the woods and taking the monkey along in 'the elephant' which she used to paint in. 

Scene of Emily Carr painting at home and the monkey sneaking away with a tube of paint, unseen by Emily Carr. 

As the monkey lies sick, Emily Carr talking on the phone with a veterinarian and then with an art manager saying that she might have to cancel an art speech to tend to the monkey. 

The monkey recovers and again on the phone, Emily says that she can go to give the art speech after all. 

Scene of a sick Emily Carr giving the monkey to a zookeeper. The zookeeper says to the monkey, "Here's an extra blanket in case you get cold on the ferry." Scene of the monkey wrapping the blanket around itself on the ferry. 

Vancouver. Scene of the monkey cages at the old monkey cage in Stanley Park. Scene of the zookeeper removing the monkeys collar and chain saying, "You don't want this on or the other monkeys will choke you." Scene of an old matriarch monkey grooming Woo. Scenes of Emily Carr's friends visiting the zoo and pointing to Woo. 

Final scene. One her later. Woo is found dead in the cage. Zookeeper says,  "The monkey died young for its age. It died of a broken heart for Emily Carr."

I don't know if there is a market for this kind of movie. It would be too slow paced for adults, no gunfight or car chases for adult men and no intriguing passionate romance for the ladies. And children might not know about Emily Carr or else be too young to appreciate her paintings. But there might be enough interest with art geeks of all ages and with University art students to make this movie saleable. I hope that a full length feature film  movie is made about Emily Carr's monkey one day. Or at least make a 40 minute IMAX movie about it. 

A comedy version could include: 

Emily Carr offers to trade the monkey at the pet store for a pound of marijuana. The pet store owner says 'What do you think I've been feeding it?"

Emily Carr is painting a picture of a nude model. In real life, she refused to paint pictures of any male nudes. She only was only willing to paint female nudes. One day, as she's painting and concentrating on the female genitalia portion and putting touches to it, she fails to see the monkey grabbing a tube and drinking it. She later notices the monkey lying prostrate and says, "Silly monkey! You drank my tube of vaginal lube!" 

It's mainly a Leftist World. 

The top two countries in terms of land size and population are Leftist. Russia and China. They are Communist and that means Leftist. 

4 out of 5 of the five eyes being UK, US, Canada, Australia and New Zealand are Left wing. 

US - Joe Biden, Democrat, Left Party 

Canada - Justin Trudeau, Liberals, Leftist

Australia - Scott Morrison, Labour, Left

New Zealand - Jacintha Ardern - Left

The only holdouts are the UK where the PM Boris Johnson and the Mayor of London Sadiq Khan are Right Wing Conservative Party. London and the UK are on the average less strict with Covid regultions than other countries. 

Covid whether or not it is a Leftist plot plays very well into the Leftist playbook of objectives being the flattening of the Middle Class and generally overall stifling Capitalism where people get paid fairly if at all for their work. And the stifling of religion where Church membership of all faiths is greatly reduced. With Covid only a select few businesses do well. Most don't. That's a lot like Communism. 

Covid is also about artificial scarcity and price fixing. Artificial scarcity because things are there. People are just restricted in their movement to produce and to deliver those goods. 

Real estate prices are rising. Meaning only a select few own lots of real estate. Communism again. 

The Internet is Leftist. Anita Baker asked people not to stream her songs. She says that most musical artists are ripped off. For every 500,000 streams musicians are paid a third of a cent. Communism where people work and are paid a pittance rather than Capitalism which incentivizes and pays people fairly for their work. I've been on the Internet for years and never got paid for my work. This makes life a lot less worth living. 

Cancel culture is the stifling of free speech. Communism again. 

Me Too movement stifling of the sex instinct. Communist. 

World Economic Forum. You will own nothing and be happy. Communism. 

If the World was all right wing rather than left wing, there would be militarism, military occupation and that's coming soon. I see omens of it. The construction company that does work outside on the roof outside my window leaves their stuff there and it never goes away like a military occupation.  They've been there since August 2021 and it's now the end of October. DMZ, demilitarized zone. 

Monday, November 8, 2021: The construction equipment is gone. This day was the day it went away. 

At Shoppers Drug Mart the East Indian security guard loss prevention officer always follows me around like he thinks I'm going to steal something. I have to stop going to Shoppers. He follows me around because I'm Chinese or else Chinese enough. The Chinese are a proud people. The Chinese have integrity and are an unassuming people respectful of other cultures. They keep to themselves. China is a high tech civization. 

The East Indians have run their country to the ground. And they want to take over. They push their shit. Push their language, push their religion. Push push push. 

Actually that security guard is a good guy, friendly, more together in a lot of ways than I am, and he's just doing his job. I doubt that he suffers from fear and depression like I do. 

The local Cineplex Odeon movie theater regularly has Punjabi movies. It used to be all English movies. 

Even if it had Chinese movies that would not be less insufferable. Again it'd be a form of push push push and I generally don't use that language. I personally  generally don't have much of a use for it. 

When I search for things on Google, often the thing I search for is suffixes with  ....in Hindi. That's completely unsolicited. Why would I want to know about things in Hindi? What's up with that? Do other people get that too? It's probably a system wide thing. Again, push push push. 

When Queen Elizabeth dies and the Kings take over, there would be less Leftist shit. More reinstatement of religion particularly Christianity. More freedom of speech and the sex instinct would be comparatively more encouraged. But that would be replaced with more wars, more militarism, more conscription as Kings are notorious for that. 

Out of the frying pan into the fire. Pandemic followed with a brief period of good times then something worse. World War or else an imminent threat of an asteroid crashing into the Earth which may not actually happen. But the hype of something on that scale and fears of it will lead to mass relocation and overall instability. Daisy Ridley Asteroid Hunters and Leonardo diCaprio Don't Look Up. Apophis 2036. 

I really don't know if I'll still be around in 2036. Neither answer would surprise me. 

I'm glad I never had any children. Having a child is like bringing a person to hell without their permission all for the sake of the ego of advancing the family line as well as the human species. I don't have that problem or inclination as my family line is dog shit and the human species is just plain old shit. 

Scientists say that the World is only just barely habitable. I think that life is only just barely worth living especially the way it is now. I doubt that I will be alive for too many more years. When I'm gone it's over for me. I have no children to worry about or to live for. In that way, I'll die with a clean conscience. 

It might be better if the hospital had a program where people like me who are weary and discontented with life could go and get themselves euthanized for free or even a modest nominal fee. I don't know if I would go and get euthanized or not. I can't say yes. I can't say no. Life and the forces of life often has a way of kicking one in the teeth. Give out a certain kind of energy and get a worse kind of energy in return. 

A prayer to God: "God, if you have no use for me to go on living, please kill me in my sleep while I am having a dream. Life is too scary. I'm not sure that I want to go on living."

Disclaimer: This is just a crazy connect the invisible dots between non connected things conspiracy theory and I advise people not to listen to it but instead come up with a better theory. Perhaps one day I myself will come up with a better theory. Unless you go through the process, how else would you reach a conclusion? 

As for East Indians, they are often more spiritual than me. They don't overthink things and YouTube channels like LOA and Words of Wisdom have very inspiring videos. They have words like don't overthink things, bad times end and good times will come back as nothing is permanent, your struggles will lead to good things, have faith etc. I myself don't know if I'm really all that spiritual. Life itself often makes me think of giving up on life. But I will live on as that is to set a good example. I wouldn't want to see anyone in my life give up on life through suicide so why should I do it? I leave my life in God's hands or else the hands of fate. A person who lives on is a good person. A person who commits suicide is a bad person. Even if one is a good person throughout their life, once they commit suicide, that would turn them into a bad person. 

Be good. 

Life isn't that bad. I always wake up  feeling scared, cranky, pessimistic and wretched. A few minutes, hours later I feel much better. 

Communism isn't that bad. Most people in China seem very happy. In Russia too.The pandemic gives people some time to slow down and relax while the World resets for the age of quantum computers. 

Last night I had a dream. Yay! I don't remember it at all! Dreams come in cycles. For a few weeks vivid memorable dreams. Then for a few weeks non memorable dreams seeming like no dreams at all. 

When it was illegal, I smoked pot all the time.  Now that it's legal, I don't smoke it. Remember if you get ultra paranoid when smoking pot, put on your doctor's hat. It's a fucking drug that's in your system. Quickly drink some chamomile tea or skullcap tea with sugar. 

I might move to Vancouver in a couple of years. Unless something major happens. I could get a job at the James Bay Inn. One night after working there for a couple of years, I'd be working late into the night and the manager would say, "You are working late why not stay in one of the rooms tonight for free?" That would be a dream come true. 

I hate to say it, I don't want to attract a gold digger but if I met a lady 20 years younger than me, I'm 51, she could take out a massive life insurance policy on me. That would support her in her later years and she could live very comfortably. There is a beautiful and sexy lady I know of that age who is really sweet on me. She works at the dental office. Yeah. Dream on! 

Any of those major good things would cause me to stay in this town and to cancel any moves to anywhere, even England. 

Does Squid Game really kill people? What would the Police say about that? "Ho hum, people are getting killed on Squid Game. Why should we bother with that? We got more important things to think about!" 

Holy shit! Alec Baldwin accidentally fatally shoots woman with a prop gun on a movie set! This reminds me of Brandon Lee in the movie The Crow. 

Friday, October 22, 2021

I saw Dune in the movie theater. I've waited weeks for this and it surpassed expectations. Excellent movie. I will get the Blu ray of this when it's released. Great visuals. No words can adequately describe how great it is. 

I need to see this in IMAX.

Part two will be released in 2023. It will be filmed in 2022. 

Sunday, October 24

Instead of trying to be a person of success or wealth, try to be a person of integrity and goodness and courage. A lot of rich people don't have that. 

If one has money, the impulse to spend it could be like a homework assignment that has to be done. Or it sits there unspent. Like Brad Pitt said in Fight Club, "What you own eventually winds up owning you."

Life can be scary. Hang in there. 

Stay alive: Livin' to be driven, Alive to drive. 

Actually any given day isn't much scarier than any day a week ago, a month ago, a few months ago etc. Hang in there and try to be a good person. A good person will likely have a good future just as a bad person will likely have a bad future. 

God doesn't just love you like a parent. God loves you more than a parent. 

I will try my best to be a good person, a person of courage and a person of integrity. 

Most nights I have a real doozy of a dream. I wake up in fear that I might be going crazy. But dreams are normal and any dream will most likely be completely forgotten in four months. That will be replaced with a new dream but that dream too will soon be forgotten. 

"Dreams are messages from the deep." Dune 2021

Even at age 50 or 60 a good future is possible. The future is unknown but is known to bring new and interesting things to learn. One is never too old to learn new and interesting things.

The pandemic could get worse. Delta plus. At this rate, I don't know if I'll make it to 60. Most days I feel either scared or depressed. At this rate I don't know how long I'll be around for. I might be dead in a year, but probably not. 

Even when the pandemic is over, I still have my fears of growing old and fears of my dreams. That won't ever go away. I wonder how long I'll be around for. 

Delta plus is more contagious. 6% of cases in the UK are Delta plus.

Monday October 25

Please don't shut down The Fish Store on Sidney BC pier. I got a can of locally in Sidney made can of Royal Red Salmon for $7.50 a can. It was good. The salmon was coated with an opulent layer of rich viscous brown liquid that looked like syrup or molasses. It had a smokey gourmet flavor which I ate with rice. Delicious. I look forward to going there and getting other flavors. There is Coho, Sockeye, Steelhead, Wild Rose salmon etc etc

I also got a tub of fat oysters at The Fish Store on Sidney BC pier which I prepared using my what I call my Michelin one star recipe. See previous blog posting. 

The News said that the town is mulling over whether to shut it down along with the pier or not. 

Wednesday, October 27

I saw Dune at the IMAX theatre yesterday. Also it was announced yesterday that a Dune part two is greenlit and in the works. Release date is in October 2023. 

The Imax Theater I went to was located at a neighborhood that was somewhat far from here I live. When the movie was over, it was dark. Luckily I had the Gino Vannelli songs The River Must Flow, The Evil Eye, Feel Like Flying, Love and Emotion on my iPod Walkman. Listening to those songs over and over again and seeing the lights of the houses of that faraway neighborhood at night had given me good vibes. 

Growing old is one of the four seasons of life being childhood, young adulthood, middle age and old age. Every season is beautiful in a different way be they Earth climate seasons or seasons in a life. 

In some ways one can feel better while old than they ever did when they were young. 

I saw a quite, "Isn't it wonderful to know that some of the best days of your life have not yet happened."

Gino Vannelli is a great musician. More like genius Vannelli. If you're driving past a small town diner on a highway at night and looking at the lights within the diner, Gino Vannelli is the music you want to have. 

I like a lot of his songs, but like with any musician, not all the songs. I like some songs better than others. 

Some other really favorite Gino Vannelli songs include Jack Miraculous, Poor Happy Jimmy, Love Me Now, Fly Into This Night, Appaloosa, It Hurts To Be In Love, Valley of Valhalla and I Just Wanna Stop. 

Frank Stallone is another genius musician. Any songs he did in the movie Staying Alive are genius. Also the songs Music Is Magic, Love Is Like A Light and Darlin are awesome. Sheer genius. Some musicians are just on another level. 

Frank Stallone is the brother of Sylvester Stallone. 

Sylvester Stallone directed Staying Alive. 

A good song in the mind sure helps against depression.

I often think of moving to Vancouver but that won't be for at least a few years. No need to think of it today. No need to make the simple to be complex. I also would like to stay here. I have mixed feelings. I'm divided as to whether to stay here or to move to Vancouver again. Vancouver has more to do, more to see. Downtown Vancouver has the most wonderful vibes but that's just nostalgia from the past from having gotten to know it. 

Strange dreams are normal. Surreal dreams are normal. I never heard of a dream that is unsurreal. Having strange dreams are a normal even nostalgic part of life. 

Dreams are very non repetitive, for me they are. Someone who travels to a different town every day would live a life which has the same pacing of having dreams.

It's normal to be overwhelmed at times. I often question my own sanity. As we all do. 

Everyone in this Province will need a third Covid booster shot between January and May of next year. It looks like the pandemic has been extended.

Or maybe not. Two doses is considered fully immunized. For now.  

Maybe it's the endemic stage. A booster shot once or twice a year for life. 

The News hinted that the mask requirement could be lifted relatively soon. It's going from the pandemic to the endemic stage. 

Old age could be a great time. Save the best for last. The best is yet to come. It's worth the wait. 

Old age is often a time when people get inheritances or get elected to politics. 

I don't know if I want to get an inheritance. Making a mistake that involves a little bit of money is one thing. Making a mistake that involves a lot of money is another. Getting a large inheritance can be scary and overwhelming. I doubt that I'd ever get an inheritance and that's fine with me. 

The best advice is that which you come up with for yourself. 

My right hand thumb is no longer twitchy anymore.

Sometimes a pharmacist is better than a doctor. In August, the doctor just told me to use Vaseline for the scarring and hard snot in my left nostril. Three days ago on October 25, a pharmacist at London Drugs recommended using Secaris and also Rhinaris and that really made a difference. Secaris is the #1 selling product in Canada for nose problems. 

Waking up in the morning is the most difficult time. First of all I'm feeling in fear from my latest crazy as usual dream. Then it's another day of the merry go round. Fishbowl existence town, every day the same thing over and over again just like yesterday. 

Like Bill Maher said, War is long periods of boredom punctuated with moments of sheer terror. 

That sounds like my life every day. 

But the day soon works itself out. I go on a walk in this paradise of a jewel of a town. Clean streets, beautiful scenery. Island vibes, Knowledge Network vibes. I play apps on tablet usually Castle Solitaire, Solitaire and Subway Runner. I'm playing those 3 games 95% of the time I use the tablet. Sometimes I play other apps like Star Wars pinball and Mad Bullets and Clockwork Brain. Then I remind myself that it's good to be alive. Living is a chance to listen to my favorite songs on the iPod which is something you don't get to do while dreaming or when dead. 

This town has great restaurants and a great place with free meals which are in fact gourmet meals. 

Watching YouTube videos is a great thing to experience which life and living has to offer. 

On Sunday I go to Church. I go for the Sunday vibes which if it happens is magic. It's a type of bliss and ecstatic feelings. The stained glass windows and the music weave a spell. The spell is further enhanced with the after Church coffee klatch but now, thanks to Covid there is no coffee klatch. Like marbles rubbing together, mixing with the other people who are faithful and love Church enhances and amplifies those feelings within me.

Church can be a psychoactive experience in this way. I go to Church the same reasons that hippies do drugs, which is to feel good. I don't do drugs namely marijuana anymore. Too much paranoia and I am already a somewhat fearful person as it is. I used to be able to be able to smoke it. For some reason, not anymore. Explore sobriety. A sober life is a good life that can bring lots of bliss and happiness. 

Some Sundays I get the Sunday vibes. But on some Sundays I don't or else not as much as I do on other Sundays. Strangely, I often get Sunday vibes after watching Bill Maher's Religulous on DVD on Sunday morning. It's an atheist video but has enough Church elements to bring about the magical Sunday vibes. Ridley Scott's Kingdom of Heaven on DVD or blu ray watched on Sunday morning brings the Sunday vibes too. Sunday vibes or Church recharges the spirit. 

Travis Bickle: "My life has taking another turn again. The days move along with regularity, one day indistinguishable from the next, a long continuous chain, Then suddenly, there is a change." Taxi Driver

Life is like that. You go from one routine, one groove, one rut that you think will last forever but if travel has taught me one thing, it's that things can change very quickly. Change is the only constant. 

Like Groundhog Day, the same thing day after day for a long time then one day it all changes. Then another groove, another rut that seems to run on forever but then that changes too.  Change is inevitable. Enjoy the moments you have with your friends now. Life is like a fast flowing river that does not repeat itself. One day it will all change. 

Thursday, October 28

Bad News:

Premier of BC John Horgan has a lump or a growth in his throat. 

He is going in for surgery to have it examined with a biopsy and then removed. All prayers go to the Premier. I hope that he pulls through and that the issue is not serious. 

"God, I hope that the Premier pulls through and is healed and has no problems otherwise that are serious. Amen."

I am sure that all people in BC are praying for his swift recovery.

I don't think that the Premier has cancer. Cancer has a certain look and he doesn't have that look. Cancer has weight loss, hair falling out and lots of bleeding and lots of pain. 

Cancer can be beaten. Lance Armstrong beat cancer and so did Tom Green and a few people I met beat it. 

There are different types of cancer and some are more aggressive and respond less to treatment. 

Again, the medical industry can do things now that they couldn't do five years ago. 

Update: The Premier does indeed have cancer aka a malignant neoplasm. Hopefully quantum computers are involved with cancer treatment. How would a quantum computer be programmed to diagnose and treat cancer? 

If Terry Fox had the cancer today that he had then, chances are he'd be alive and have both of his legs. Cancer research works.*

*Source: The Book of Lists, The Canadian Edition, David Wallechinsky and Amy Wallace, 2004 

10 Things Douglas Coupland Figured About Terry Fox While Doing A Book About Him

A latrogenic illness is one caused by a physician's diagnosis or treatment. 

There are scares and there are scares as one goes through life. I thought that I had scares. My scares are:

1) Getting older and the descent into old age and death. 

2) Weird disturbing unsettling night times dreams every single night. 

3) Ongoing voluntary requirements to help and to work work work for my friend as she is temporarily disabled and in a wheelchair. 

4) The ongoing global pandemic. God knows when it is going to end or if I'll get covid. 

These fears stop me from smoking pot. I don't need the added paranoia of cannabis along with these fears. 

However, these fears pale in comparison to the fears of our Premier of BC. I hope that he pulls through. We'll find out sometime from between tomorrow night and Monday what the prognosis is. 

I bought three books about dreams at a bookstore. One of them is Dream Interpretation In Chinese Culture by Fang Jing Pei. I bought it because Chinese people often appear in my dreams. 

The book mentioned that there are many types of dreams. Among them, two of them are dreams that happen when one is stressed and dreams that happen when one has an illness or a disease. 

These types of dreams are usually nightmares. 

In another book, dream researcher Johnathan Winston talks about phyletic dreams which are layers within a dream that solves problems and deals with stored information deciding what information to retain and what information to dump. 

The Vedas or else East Indians classified dreams as either lucky dreams or unlucky dreams. 

Friday, October 29

The handicapped lady, my sweetness has been issued a warning. If she's caught smoking in her room, she's evicted immediately. The landlord doesn't care if she sleeps on the streets. Oh I love my sweetness. My precious girl. Oh Beebs, oh Beebs, oh Beebs, oh Beebs, oh Beebs, oh Beebs, oh Beebs. I love my sweetness. I love her like the flowers and the grass loves the sun and the rain. I'm so worried about her. She smokes two cartons a week so getting her to stop smoking is a tall order. She is to stop smoking in her room. She could use her walker to smoke outside. But will she? I'm so worried that she'll be kicked out and have to live on the streets. She'd never survive on the streets. Oh I love my sweetness. My Beebs. My precious girl. Oh Baby girl! I'm so worried about my sweetness. If she's kicked out, hopefully the ACT Assertive Community Treatment team will find assisted living for her. The ACT team visits her a few times a week. Oh my baby girl. I'm so worried about my baby girl. I love my baby girl. I love my sweetness. 

The hammer has been dropped. I did fear that imwould have to be working for her for life or for the indefinite future. Working working working working working working will gut my future. But I would sooner work for her than to see her on the streets. I was hoping that my working for her would have made it possible for her to recover sooner. 

If I'm ever kicked out of here, I'll move back to Vancouver if I can't find another place to live here. Do I bring my lightsabers with me? I just about never use them. 

Don't worry. Things have a strange way of falling into place. God will take care of us. But will He? There's a handicapped man on the street with one leg missing. Did God take care of him? What about all those in the hospital? Did God take care of them? God might or might not take care of you or me. That's my opinion. 

I spend too much time thinking of my enemies of the past who are living in other towns. How they did this to me or did that to me or how they said this to me or said that to me. 

But then I realized that I would most likely never see them again or else I wouldn't ever see them again as they were then. 

"If you live long enough, you will live to see the bodies of your enemies floating down the river." 

That's an old saying. If someone was a jerk to you, chances are, they were a jerk to a whole lot of other people. If you think some way about a person, chances are, a whole lot of other people also think the same way about that person. 

Not everyone is created equal. On the bad side, some people killed one or more people. The vast majority of people never killed anyone. On the good side, some people won over 10 million dollars in the lottery or some people saved one or more lives. The vast majority of people never won the lottery over 10 million dollars or saved anyone's life. 

Most people are in the middle. Never killed anyone but never won the lottery over 10 million dollars or saved any lives either. 

It is important to have a clean conscience just before death and also going through life as well. 

Someone who did something nasty to you wouldn't have a clean conscience. To you, that person did something bad to you. To God, that person did something bad to someone. Chances are, someone else might do the same thing to them. 

Let sleeping dogs lie. Never look up someone who you don't like from either the present or especially from the past on the internet. You are bound to be disappointed. Let any memories of them just fade away with the passage of time. 

Try to forgive them. "Forgive our sins as we forgive those who've sinned against us." Forgiveness means seeing that they were however younger and less experienced when they sinned against us. That not only them but I myself am human and make mistakes. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." 

It takes courage to face life. Our duty is to press on and to try not to be afraid. Tomorrow could bring something good. Be grateful. "He who is not grateful for what he has will probably also not be grateful for what he could have."

The covid mask mandate requiring the mask be worn in all indoor settings that was set to expire on October 31 will be extended indefinitely. What were the chances of that? Myopic addled fumblers. They can't even come to a consensus on a date. They're not sure whether that date will be extended or not either. They can't even properly make it up as they go along. 

Even if everyone in a room is double vaccinated and presented their vaccine cards they still must wear masks? That doesn't make sense. It goes against any medical verisimilitude.

For a culture that's as Islamophobic as it is, it sure likes to to steal a page from the Islamic playbook. Just as Dune appropriates Islamic culture but doesn't have any Islamic actors in it. What do you expect? What would  you think the people who financed and produced Dune's stance on Palestine is? 

Some people have worn masks over their face for decades. 

Surgeons regularly wear masks as part of their job.

Like Orwell said about the British, "They throw up a few beauties but the majority of them are an ugly ugly race." 

The human species is a wretched species. I'm glad that I didn't bring any into this world. 

"I would rather regret not having kids than have kids and regret that." Allison Janney

Seeing the leering frowning faces of a lot of people, seeing their yellow crooked teeth or seeing the facial hair hair on some women is something we could do without. Also there is no seeing nose hairs, ugly noses and snot noses either. The mask mandate is a reprieve from that. See the faces with or without a mask, it's a win win situation. Without the mask is normality and conventionality. With the mask is concealing the full rictus of barely disguised contempt and obstreporous venality on a lot of faces. Bullshit smiles. 

"Smiling faces sometimes tell lies." The Undisputed Truth

A lot more and more people wear headphones because most conversations in public aren't worth hearing. Memes and tropes that are so  central in one culture and so irrelevant in another culture. So you don't see their ears either. Ears, mouth, what's the difference? Just like ass, face, what's the difference? 

Mask mandate in BC. Who cares? It's not a backwater of a Province enough. It needs to be even more of a backwater. If you lived in New York or London or even watched a walking tour video of those cities on YouTube and then visited any town in BC, you would think that you took a step backwards. What a chickenshit backwater Province. Another backwater that thinks it's the center of the Universe. All backwaters in all Provinces and in all countries are like that. They all tout and shill themselves as the center of the fucking Universe. 

London is the only real town in England. All other towns are backwaters. I wouldn't want to visit them. 

Only 3 or 4 towns in Canada aren't backwaters. All the rest of them are unenviable backwaters. 

BC is a Province with a 50 year old hockey franchise that never won the Stanley Cup while there are teams 20 years old that won the Stanley Cup. Backwater or what? 

Mask mandate extended and indefinitely? Who fucking cares? Yet another loopy incompetent government policy. What were the chances of that? Islamic people as part of their culture and Asians trying to deal with the smog and air pollution of the cities they live in have been wearing masks for decades. 

Indefinitely might only mean two or three months. It doesn't necessarily mean forever. 

Doctors are like economists, put them all in a room and they'll never agree. Doctors are like judges. It depends on which one you get. Maybe we got the wrong doctor. Again, what are the chances of that? Sanctimonious policy wonk doctor. Quack doctor. 

We've been wearing masks formal long that it would feel weird not wearing masks. 

"It's been in my life for so long that I don't know anything else." Sigourney Weaver, Alien Ressurection

Even long after the mask mandate is over, 5% of the population will still be wearing masks. Knowing the government the government will issue a non mask wearing mandate for them.

No one reads this blog anyway. 

Don't listen to my opinion. Find a better opinion for yourselves.

I saw part of Nine Days. Boring. As boring as it was hyped. I turned it off at some point. I'll see it again with subtitles on blu ray or DVD. Otherwise a mumbling rambling movie. It's a movie that makes you think. They say that about a lot of movies. Isn't every movie supposed to make you think? 

An explanation to why you generate a certain kind of energy and the damned forces of life in return gives you people who generate another and worse kind of energy or else the mishandling of the global pandemic is explained with Ciprillo's Five Universal Laws of Human Stupidity:

1. People always underestimate the amount of stupid people in society and even or especially in their social circle. 

"There's always one more son of a bitch than you accounted for." Murphy's Law

2. Stupidity is there regardless of a person's other characteristics. 

3. Stupid people cause damage to others and themselves. 

4. Non stupid people underestimate that dealing with stupid people always turns out to be a costly mistake.. 

5. Stupid people are the most dangerous people. 

The corollary graph of this is:

1. Benefits others, benefits themselves: Intellectual people

2. Benefits others, losses to themselves: Helpless people

3. Losses to others, benefits themselves: The criminal bandit

4. Losses to others, losses to themselves: Stupid people

The top half represents those who are going to go to heaven.

The bottom half represents those who are going to go to hell.

Otherwise smart and rational civilized individuals as well as societies often sink due to the presence and number of stupid people. 

The global pandemic and how it is being handled, global warming and climate change resulting from the world being run to the ground or neighborhoods that never get better but worse with undisciplined delinquents living on the streets sleeping rough due to escalating real estate prices, lack of rental controls and government inability to adequately provide housing for all its citizens, and the News with its half-baked scary sensationalist ratings-grabbing misinformation and disinformation are examples of collectives over wrought with stupid people. 

Caregiver burnout or parental burnout resulting from looking after a retarded person is an example of individuals buckling under the strain of stupid people. 

*Source: Quartz magazine online. 

The above article is a hook for the mind and it sure got me when I first read it. Stupid is about the mind. Kindness and love is about the heart. 

Being a loving and kind person is more important in the sight of God than it is to be a smart intellectual person who is otherwise devoid of love. 

Perhaps there is no such thing as a completely stupid person. A person thought of as stupid can once in awhile surprise you with a statement or a piece of advice that is a stroke of brilliance. Have faith.