Thursday, June 1, 2023
I went to visit Heather. We went to the Community Centre for lunch. Then we went to Dollarama and then to Chinatown.
Lower back pain still there but its getting better. Not worse.
While visiting Heather, I heard a song on the radio. It is Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know.
The pandemic is over and just about every day, I see quite a few ladies in town whom are very friendly to me. I am always glad to see them. When the pandemic ended in the 1920s for a few years it was a festive party time.
I know quite a few ladies in town. Sweet ladies. The ladies are a reason I find the strength and the will to keep on going. But I'm old. I'm in my 50s. That's old. When I was in my 20s, I thought people over 50 were old. I think 60 is when one is officially old and 70 is just old old.
I do love sweet Heather.
"The vaccine was not brought in for COVID. COVID was brought in for the vaccine. Once you realize that, everything else makes sense."
Dr Reiner Fuellmich
"I am concerned for the security of our great nation not so much because of threats from without but because of the insidious forces working from within."
General Douglas MacArthur
Friday, June 2, 2023
Went to Shoppers and got mouthwash. That's it. I stayed home all day otherwise. I still have minor residual pain in my hip.
My life seems to be going nowhere.
My television screen went black today. A brief half second display of the logo and then black screen. It works now. But I don't know what happened.
My brain is fucked. I wish I had a perfect brain but I think too many weird intrusive and unwanted thoughts. That's it for today.
Saturday, June 3, 2023
Woke up with a bit of fear. The persistent slight hip pain is still there. But it isn't as bad as it was a few days ago. I fear a dismal future not worth experiencing so why even bother? I miss Vancouver. I wonder what I'm doing here.
Vancouver has places that bring back bad memories and moving back to Vancouver would be in many ways a regression to some previous awfulness. If on vacation in Vancouver and I pass these places I can overlook them knowing I'm on vacation. But to live there and to hunker down and to pass these places over and over again. But these bad memories happened decades ago. At some point I have to just let myself off the hook, let go and just move on.
Vancouver has 4th Avenue, Jericho Beach, UBC. That's the real deal. Victoria has Holland Point Park and Dallas Road Beach and Ogden Point and that's real too.
I worry about the future. The future scares me.
Sunday, June 4, 2023
Went to Presbyterian Church. Worked the sound system. Saw good friends. At noon I saw Wings Over Water at the Imax theatre. I then went to Thrifty Foods and got some sole fish. I also got Thai jasmine rice which is the best rice in the world. The rice has a unique perfume smell.
I then walked to the beach at Dallas Road. I saw Beckley Manor. When I walk past this building and listen to the song On The Beat from the BB&Q Band, I get a very nostalgic early 80s UBC feeling. This building has brick porches and the brick porches makes me think of the building at the University of Oregon in Eugene Oregon that was featured in the opening scene of the movie Animal House. My ultimate dream is to live at Beckley Manor one day. Or I could just walk past it and soak in the nostalgic vibes of my imaginary psychometric making me think of University in the early 80s. University of the early 80s was very different. There was no internet. Instead there were old computers that used punch cards.
In the afternoon I saw my new friend Deedee at the bus stop. She is an old lady who is very friendly to me and she has a great body. I like older women. I have a few older lady friends in this town. They make life worth living. I wake up every morning with a bit of fear yet any given day turns out to be better than I thought it would be. I get lots and lots of hugs and sometimes kisses too from my lady friends in town. Then my fears evaporate.
Every year certainly every 10 years I meet new people I haven't met before. This includes ladies I could hopefully have a fling with.
Last night I saw something disturbing. I saw Game of Thrones episode 8 where Alicent Hightower takes off her shoes and stockings and displays them to Larys who then pleasures himself looking at them.
I read an article on the Internet about that. Larys has a club foot so a lady with perfect feet turns him on. The actor who portrays Larys is Matthew Needham. He says that Larys does this so he has something to hold over Alicent Hightower. He is that devious.
I can't wait for Season 2 of Games of Thrones House of the Dragon. The internet said that there is 4 seasons planned with 8 episodes per season.
My television is dying. I plug it in. The opening display logo appears for just half a second and then the screen is blank. I tried plugging it into a different outlet on the power bar. That works. I might either need to get a new power bar or else get a new TV altogether. These televisions usually last for just under 5 years.
I'm probably going to get a new TV at either London Drugs or at Walmart tomorrow. I'll need a 55" 4K TV.
Never have I been so confused. What should I do? Should I:
a) Get a 40" 1080p TV from a friend for $100.
b) Get a 55" 4K TV RCA, the exact same model as I have now for $499 from a store. $499 + 12% tax plus environmental fee.
In either case, I will give the TV I have now to Heather. It could work better for her. If not, she will still have her old TV.
This all sounds bats*it crazy and I want to be 100% normal and not crazy at all. I planned to keep this television for about ten years but I've had it for 4 years already. Eventually I would have had to get a new TV. I fear spending money on a TV because if I do, I'll be broke. I've gotten used to a certain standard and that is my 55"RCA 4K TV.
RCA made the original televisions. RCA was in competition with Philo Farnsworth. Farnsworth was a 14 year old farm oy who came up with the idea for a television and he was able to make a working television using cathode ray tubes. CRTs were invented in 1869 by German scientist Johann Hittorf who had been experimenting with Crookes tubes.
David Sarnoff tried to get Philo Farnsworth to sell him the patent for the television but Farnsworth wanted to manufacture his own televisions. After years of RCA under David Sarnoff trying to make a television using Russian scientist Vladimir Zworykin, RCA gave up and in 1941 was going to give Farnsworth lots of money for the patent plus a share of royalties but then America entered World War 2 and all television manufacturing facilities was kiboshed and requisitioned for war manufacturing. In 1945, when the war was over, Farnsworth patents expired and was available to public domain. Farnsworth lost out.
I will wait about a week to see if my television still works. Sometimes with electronics, if you wait it out, the situation resolves itself. One time my Blu ray players didn't work right, about a third of YouTube videos didn't load at all. I left it unplugged for about a week and when I plugged it back in, 100% of the videos were working.
$100 for a 40"1080p TV - pros - the price is right.
Cons - used and a lower standard in terms of size and resolution.
$500 plus tax plus enviro fee for an RCA 4K TV - pros - new, on par standard.
Cons - Expensive price.
I wanted a different and better model for the same price, $399 which I bought my 55" RCA for at Shoppers. Shoppers was selling a 55" 4K Haier TV which is the television of the NBA for the same price but I had already bought my RCA. I thought over time that the price of electronics technology falls as models can be produced for cheaper and cheaper as time goes on.
I am so confused. I don't know what to do.
My ideal was that in ten years, or in 5 years, I could get a better model for the same price or cheaper. 55" is the only TV size I want. No bigger and no smaller.
I can get the $100 -TV now and get a 55" 4K TV later at around Christmas or better yet after Christmas when prices fall when I save up more money. TV's are expensive at Christmas time as they are often gifts given to people. Maybe Black Friday is a good time to get a television. Prices are cheaper the week after Black Friday and after Christmas and New Years too.
Monday, June 5, 2023
Woke up slightly scared. Imagination running overtime. The mind likes to tell scary stories about the future to prepare and protect itself. Usually these scary stories don't come true. If there is something scary it usually passes quickly. It's the reeling afterwards that is often more scarier than the event itself.
During the pandemic, I got a panic attack and was scared just before the announcement of the vaccine passport. I was scared the process would be too complicated and that I wouldn't be able to get a vaccine passport. And then I was scared because Russell brand said the vaccine passport would be extended another 6 months.
As it turned out, it wasn't difficult at all to get the passport. And instead of extending it, the passport time was shortened by 3 months. It was supposed to end on July 1, 2022 Canada Day. It ended in March 2023.
I was scared that if I didn't get the passport, I wouldn't be able to see movies and go to restaurants. I saw movies more often during the pandemic to get over the fear that I wouldn't be able to see movies. Now that the pandemic is pretty much over, I don't see movies as often.
Blogger used to display my thumbnail pictures on blog posting headings. I posted pictures just to see the thumbnails. It was one of the best things about blogger. Now only some of the pictures are displayed. And blogger itself freezes my view count at 2. It has been doing this for a long time so I don't know the true number of my readers. I installed another view counter as an app and it displays a lot larger number of viewers but I rarely ever look at it.
Now that thumbnails aren't even showing on headings on my edit page when it used to, I'm giving up. I'm signing off now indefinitely. I don't know when or if I'll be back again.
If blogger isn't working for me, why should I be working for blogger?
Otherwise, what was I going to do? Be publishing every day on blogger for life? Blogger has allowed a window on a certain time in my life. I don't know if I'd be publishing lifelong anyways.
Most if not all other people I know, people at Church, people working at the restaurants I go to etc are not blogging their life or uploading anything on the internet. Certainly none of them got rich and famous doing it otherwise they wouldn't be working at a restaurant or they'd be talking about their wealth from blogging. It's not just for the money. Most bloggers aren't even famous.
I had a life before blogging and perhaps it would be good to return to that life now. Most people who rely on the Internet to get rich and or famous fail to do it and they are not much more rich or famous than they were before the internet. For those people, using the Internet for that is counterproductive and counterefficient.
Quit the Internet, for bigger and better things? No, for smaller and better things.
I had 3 major problems with my electronics this month.
1) One of my tablets used to give a pop up warning when the battery level was at 20% and it would automatically shut off at 5% or less. Now it shuts off automatically when the battery is at 60%.
2) My television shows a black screen although sound is available. After unplugging it and plugging it back in a few times it works. Time to think about getting a new TV.
3) Blogger won't show all thumbnails on the headings in my edit posts page of blogger. Glitchy as anything. When something no longer works for me, why should I work for it?
Wrong thinking - Anything worth doing is worth doing right.
Right thinking - Anything that is too difficult isn't worth doing at all.
This includes blogger when it won't even show thumbnails on my edit posts headings.
The internet is a very complex machine with many parts. The more the parts in any machine, the more the chances that something will go wrong. The Luddites believed as much.
The pictures I posted still show up in my posts.
Often when machines glitch it's either a death omen or is a reflection of something very wrong with someone you know in your life.
In my case, a lady I've seen at Church often was not at Church yesterday. It turns out that she has blood cancer.
When I heard this, I suggested that the best thing that anyone with cancer could do is to just give up. People at Church said, "Oh, no. It's very treatable nowadays and lots of people survive with treatment." I heard of people surviving in the 90s.
There's a chance that the brain could not be overwhelmed in the afterlife faced with an eternity of existence. Dunbar number. A person can only remember about 150 of any given thing including days in their life. When a person is 20, they remember 150 memorable days in their life. It doesn't change much when a person is 50. They still remember only about 150 days that stand out. Although it would be a different set of days. It would be the same for a 70 or 80 year old. There's only so much that a one gallon brain can retain. A brain takes up one gallon as it would take about ten brains to fill up a ten gallon fish tank.
Life has problems but these problems eventually get resolved in time only to leave an entirely new set of problems which will also get solved in time and so on ad infinitum.
My blogger edit page not showing about half the thumbnails when just a couple of days ago it was working perfectly then all of a sudden this major glitch spooked me. I'm really going to curtail my blog journal from now on. Until this problem gets resolved. I will adjust to this. Sudden problems are like getting a slight cut or a first degree burn. The problem presents itself suddenly and it makes a few days to be cured of it. Sudden computer based anomalies like the permanent addition of an icon or a permanent removal of one takes a few days for the mind to wrap around. It becomes the new normal. And is not a problem unless the forgetting of the old normal is a real problem. It was when the pandemic went into the second year with restrictions and at that point I had forgotten the old normal and panicked. Now things are back to normal and in time one will mostly forget what it was like to live during a global pandemic when masks were a requirement, going out and walking around looked like walking around in a ghost town, every day one walked out, they could be taking their life into their own hands as they could get coronavirus and die and when you needed a vaccine passport to get into places.
One day in the future, the Vancouver museum will have an exhibit about the coronavirus of 2020 to 2022. There will be pictures of people wearing masks and there will be pictures of the anti vax marches and protestors.
Even in my dream blog, a lot of thumbnails are also gone from the heading on the edit posts page. I could understand copyrighted pictures but a lot of copyrighted pictures do appear in the headings but on my dream blog, any thumbnail was illustrations that I did. I own the copyright although I don't know to what degree Google also owns the copyright. That's also the problem. The more I do and upload to Google, the more of my stuff they own the copyright to. Google is a crooked table slanted against me. I wonder why I bother with living. It's a grim set up. It's an awful scene. Wretched predicament.
The thumbnails gone from the headings is a cosmetic problem. All pictures I uploaded still appear in the posts themselves. It would be better if they never set up a template which involves the first picture uploaded to tbe posting to be included as a thumbnail heading. It was there and now it's gone which makes me feel weirded out.
"A taste of honey is worse than none at all." Smokey Robinson, I Second That Emotion
If I had a fish tank, I would have semi expensive goldfish like moors and orandas and lionheads. I would also have feeder goldfish. Having a small algae eater or loach is not a good idea as goldfish will eat any fish it's own size or smaller. It's best to have a larger algae eater.
A gold fish tank needs Ph test kit, water conditioner including chlorine remover, gravel, filter, fishnet and decorations like plastic plants and statues and sculptures and small aquarium castle. There is no need for a thermometer or a heater for a goldfish tank. A ten gallon tank can have a maximum of 5 fish no bigger than 2 inches long.
Tuesday, June 6, 2023
I went to see the new ANGKOR exhibit at the Royal BC Museum. Another mind blowing exhibit. Very well done. I think the statues are plaster casts. The real statues are priceless and often countries don't allow their archeological artifacts to be taken out of the country. The craftsmanship of these statues is impeccable. Similar to Egyptian statues, the Khmer statues have perfect symmetry in an age before modern technology. How was that achieved?
Woke up in fear and spent the first few hours in fear today.
Riding the bus is free tomorrow. Clean Air Day. Ride from Victoria BC to Sidney BC and back. One hour each way. Free. What an unbeatable deal in transportation.
Wednesday, June 7, 2023
Still at it. I went to Walmart and got some Vitamin D3K2. Andrew Huber an said it helps the hormones. But I asked the pharmacist there. He said it doesn't help hormones at all, just bones and teeth.
Andrew Huberman and Dr Eric Berg on YouTube said that Vitamin D3k2 is good for testosterone. Months ago, I saw a YouTube video that said depression and burnout are often caused by low testosterone and to get a blood test and ask about presence of testosterone.
I don't know if I want to take Vitamin D3K2 for life. I'll try one bottle out. Walmart sells Equate brand D3K2 for $5.99 a bottle. The other brands are $13.99 a bottle.
I went to the Museum again since I got an annual pass. Lots of high school students there probably from Vancouver on their annual trip to Victoria. I went to Victoria in grade 11 on a field trip never imagining that I'd live in Victoria one day.
At the museum I went to the Angkor exhibit, then went to see the Angkor IMAX film again. And then went to the Angkor exhibit again.
Afterwards I went to the supermarket to get some ground beef and bok choy. I also got a Cobb's salad.
I thought of going to Sidney BC today. The trip I imagined was to go to Riva's Italian restaurant. A swanky pricey restaurant. Beef ragu pasta $32 and Cobb's salad $25 = $57 plus 12% plus 15% tips would have been a $70 meal. Then go and see Spiderman Into the Spider-verse at the theatre, $11. It would have been a $100 day. Very pricey. So I cancelled the entire trip.
I could see Into the Spider-verse for free on my tablet.
My television flickers slightly except on power saving mode with a dimmer picture.
BC Ferries permanently closed Pacific Buffet. It said it ran at a $1,000,000 deficit every year. The buffet costs about $25. But it's an all you can eat and a lot of people probably just loaded up. No wonder it ran at a deficit.
I wrote an email to BC Ferries on their contact form and said perhaps that area of the ship could open as a mini food court with different well known franchises such as Taco Bell, Foo Food, Noodle Box and Manchu Wok. The food services could be contracted out. And it wouldn't be a buffet, it would be a per item charge. Since that area has limited seating, it would be first come first serve or else have a 30 minute seating limit like McDonald's does.
BC Ferries already has White Spot on the BC Ferries vessels where one can get a Triple-O burger. The Triple-O burger secret sauce is mayonnaise, red relish and a hint of mustard.
McDonald's Big Mac Sauce is mayonnaise, green relish, ketchup and a hint of mustard. Tartar sauce for fish is mayonnaise and green relish. And shrimp cocktail sauce is ketchup and white horseradish.
Tzatziki sauce is half plain yogurt, half sour cream with some parsley.
I went to Pacific Buffet on BC Ferries just once in 2011. The trip seems to go a lot faster with a meal in front of you at all times with a drink too and drinks were also part of the all you can eat. They were non alcoholic drinks but that was fine with me because I'm a teetotaler. Drinking alcohol makes me feel a little bit scared and brings a slight modicum of anxiety.
In fact life itself brings fear and anxiety with or without alcohol or drugs although drugs mainly cannabis and alcohol seem to exacerbate that.
The song Child Together from Jincheng Zhang featured on Leon Shows Me and the Crabs Who's Boss is a good song. The instrumental version is good. The singing version features a language I don't understand.
Thursday, June 8, 2023
I went to a Japanese restaurant and had chicken katsu bento box lunch.
Yesterday I watched videos from Abroad In Japan and the videos talked about different street food in Japan including karaage and katsu.
Then I visited Heather. We went to Tim Hortons and then to Chinatown. At Chinatown on the City Hall grounds there is a sitting area.
I went home and felt anxiety. I also didn't feel right.
But I ate some congee and felt better. I also drank some valerian root tea which took care of my anxiety. I think I might have to be drinking valerian root tea for life.
Friday, June 9, 2023
Time for a new TV. My old TV worked but in addition has a slight hissing sound. It still works good though. The hissing sound can be taken care of by hitting the TV on the back The Fonz style. Fonzie style.
I carried my old TV all the way to Heather's. On the way, I saw two ladies whom I know. I saw a lady who works at a restaurant I go to and I also saw a lady from Church.
Heather likes her new TV. It's a lot bigger than her old 32" TV. It looks cinematic at her place.
I went to the pawn store and got a 49" LG TV. LG is a South Korean brand. The only thing is, it needs an adapter so my headphone jack connected to my Bose speakers can work on it. The new LG TV I got is 1 year old. It has nice sizzling colors that pop. It's somewhat smaller than my old RCA TV. But who cares? It's good enough. It has a new remote control set up which I'll have to get used to. All TV's are like that. Every time you get a new TV, you'll have to get used to the new set up.
My new TV looks as nice as a Samsung Q80. My new TV is the modern standards with sizzling colors that pop. My new TV is LG 49NANO85UNA and it is of the NANO series. New at the store it would cost $799 plus tax plus enviro fee. I got a deal at the pawn store and I got it for $400 including taxes. Someone probably sold it to the pawn store for $100 or $200 because they needed money. Pawn stores are a buyers market and not a sellers market.
If you want to buy something at a pawn store, you'll get a good deal. If you want to sell something to the pawn store, you won't get a good price although sometimes you will. The old hand held Nintendo Game&Watch is valuable and if you sell one to the pawn store you will get a better price than expected.
Pawn Stars paid someone $15,000 for an Imperial Russian brooch pin. And Hardcore Pawn paid someone $50,000 for a rare Burmese ruby. They were honest. They could have just paid $2,000 but they didn't.
Saturday, June 10, 2023
I went to visit Heather today. We went for lunch at the Community Centre and then we went to a supermarket.
Woke up in fear yet again. What else is new? Just about every night for the last two weeks, I've smoked weed. I only smoke a tiny pinch and it is exhaled quickly. Weed could be medicinal and I am not too old to smoke weed for being old is a time for taking medications of one kind or another.
The 4th dimension looks exactly like the 3rd dimension. This is because the 4th dimension needs the 3rd dimension to exist as a foundation or framework and could not exist without it just as the 3rd dimension needs the 2nd dimension and likewise could not exist without it.
The only difference is a 4th dimensional set of physics which includes teleportation. In the 3rd dimension it takes time to cover a distance of space. In the 4th dimension, since one teleports, the time to travel a space is cancelled out.
Other 4th dimensional physics includes teleportation, not growing old, never sleeping, never eating and never dying.
The movie Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse said, "The other dimension comes to you." That's what happens when a person dies, they don't go to another dimension, the other dimension comes to them. That's what happens when a person falls asleep and dreams too.
There are products which utilize 4th dimensional parameters such as a long distance telephone call. A phone calls a place that is 6 hours behind in time zone. That message gets there instantly and the reply gets to the point of origin of that phone call instantly. Of course in this dimension there is some imperceivable delay like one twentieth of a second or something like that. In the true fourth dimension of the afterlife, there is not even one Planck second of delay. There are 10⁴³ Planck seconds in one normal second.
A Planck second is still time. Why not one-tenth or one-one hundredth of a Planck second? It's all arbitrary. It wouldn't even be a Planck second, because even a perceived amount of time such as half an hour, an hour, a week, etc to travel from point A to point B would still register as a Planck second in the fourth dimension. In this dimension, we are in time. In the fourth dimension we are out of time. The fourth dimension isn't time because linear time is an aspect of the third dimension. The fourth dimension transcends linear time. The fourth dimension uses linear time and doesn't use linear time interchangeably.
The fear I feel every day is so chronic and so constant that it makes me wish that I wasn't alive. One thing that used to help my fear is that time passes quickly. On any given day, 9 am soon becomes noon, noon soon becomes 3 pm, 3 pm soon becomes 5pm, 5pm soon become 7pm, 7pm soon turns to 10 pm, all before you know it. Every day passes quickly like that. It was comforting to me before because when I was younger, I couldn't wait to get older. Now that I'm in my 50s, I don't want to get older. Being old is scary and I think it's best to skip old age altogether. Although I do have a major fetish for women who are old and I guess if I'm old and their age, that would increase my chances of scoring with a lady who is old. But if I'm old and chronically unlucky and never score, I'd want to just skip old age altogether if it's all the same to God. I met lots of old people who are chronically unlucky. I never heard of them being involved with anyone.
It's Murphy's Law. If I die young then I look into an alternate future where I didn't die and see that I would have certainly 100% scored and I could telepathically read and see that some women were attracted to me and I'll wish that I lived. But if I live to be old, then I wind up being chronically unlucky and then I'll wish that I died.
Life is overwhelming and scary. All I need to do is to become friends with a prostitute who is old and would do it for money.
Every morning I wake up and feel fear fear fear.
Sunday, June 11, 2023
Went to the Presbyterian Church. Good friends.
I went to the museum and then to Shoppers Drug Mart to get a bottle of Quorum eau de toilette which is for men. I remember Quorum from the 80s. This is the first bottle of Quorum cologne I ever owned. It was on sale.
Stayed home all afternoon.
Dan Seto on YouTube has great videos. He talked about Kent's Kitchen and the Ovaltine Cafe closing and then reopening.
Today I learned there is a Michelin Star Chinese restaurant in Vancouver called Quanjude. I looked at the menu. Pricey or what. Peking duck is $128. Peking duck with caviar is $258. Mapo tofu with lobster and sea cucumber is $108. All not including taxes and tip. The $258 Peking duck with taxes and tip would be over $300. Only the ultra rich can afford to eat here. I might go if I'm ever in Vancouver but I can only afford the cheapest item on the menu. Or I might not ever go. Spending expensive money on restaurant food triggers my food anxiety. Expect a one hour wait for the Peking Duck at Quanjude.
The pictures not showing up on my Blogger edits page has plunged me into mild depression and despair. Why did it happen? Algorithms or an extraneous update? If it ain't broke don't fix it. Too many cooks spoil the broth. In that way, life has gotten worse. The thumbnails in the heading of my blogger edits page might come back one day or it might never come back. Some computer things are forever. The best way is to never have gotten involved in the first place. One less thing to worry about. Ockhams razor. The minimalist life is the best life.
Today, I had an afternoon nap while the movie Babylon was playing. When I woke up, I looked at the TV screen and Tobey McGuire was on the screen as the 1920s gangster James McKay. With his makeup and dark red half circles under his eyes, he looked terrifying. Tobey McGuire was also Nick Carraway in another movie set in the 1920s, The Great Gatsby.
Tobey McGuire had a long career. He was in Fear in Loathing in Las Vegas and also Spiderman.
My LG Nano TV is better than traditional LED HDTVs but Nano is not as good as OLED TVs. Although OLED has a higher chance of screen burn than LED TVs.
Digital to analog converter.
LG NANO TVs needs a digital to analog audio converter to connect to a headphone jack that connects to external speakers. The D to A comes with an optical cable connecting to a box that has a 3.5 mm headphone slot. The box ismpowered by a USB cable to a USB plug in adapter. Some D to A converters come with a volume dial.
Monday, June 12, 2023
I went to the James Bay Inn restaurant today and had a large Caesar salad. Vegetable greens is good for the body. Two lovely waitresses were there. These waitresses are esteemed angels.
I then went to the beach and to Ogden Point. There was a huge cruise ship near Ogden Point. The cruise ship is named Crown Princess.
I then returned home. I woke up briefly in fear. I've been smoking weed regularly again. Just once a day during the late night. I thought I was too old to smoke weed but then old is a time to take medication of one firm or another. Weed is medicinal. It balances the body. Just don't smoke too much.
Me admitting all these years that I smoke weed and have used other drugs in my life disqualifies me from entry into the United States even though I've had several dreams of US Presidents, a lot of these dreams I illustrated. When I illustrated the dream I had of Richard Nixon, I made sure to illustrate that I saw a curly haired young Richard Nixon. His hair was curly when he was young and that curly hair was something I noticed in the dream. Lots of Canadian rock stars travel to the States all the time and rock stars are known for doing or else having done drugs. I don't know if I'll ever be able to travel to the US. The pastor of my Church who is from the US said that he feels anxiety whenever he is about to travel to the States because the States is a gun culture and is on average more violent than Canada. But the vast majority of people travel to the States and nothing violent happened to them. The vast majority.
Sunday vibes are really wonderful in small towns. I sense that US small towns have very wonderful Sunday vibes. Small towns in Canada too.
A couple times this year including today at the supermarket, I said "Assalam aleikum." to female cashiers who were wearing the Muslim headwrap. Even though I'm a Christian, I like languages. A few times I have said, "Sat Shri akal." to some East Indians. More often than not in this town, one would encounter East Indians who are Sikh rather than Hindoo. With a Hindoo, one would say, "Namaskar." In Punjabi and in Hindi, the word for thank you is, "Dhaniwad."
I think, do you speak Punjabi in Punjabi is, "Tu kissum Punjabi bole day hoe?" That's about the extent of my East Indian.
"Ee ah bot sundar hay." means it is beautiful in Punjabi.
Pierogi of Scammer Payback and Scammer Revolts knows Hindi well. But he speaks in an English accent but he is still understood. He hasn't got to the level where he can ape the accent like Rich Little.
With tonal languages like Thai and Cantonese, one really needs to get the tone of the word exactly right or be misunderstood.
A Christian can know many languages or else bits and pieces of languages. I can speak English, Cantonese and Thai to a good level. Then I've been learning Polish. I can speak a few phrases of French, German and Spanish but with an English accent. One really has to work on the accent Rich Little style. Other than that I know tiny bits of Mandarin, Japanese, Hindi and Punjabi. Other than that, I don't know any other languages.
A fake polyglot knows a lot of languages but only to a small and basic level. A real polyglot is conversational if not fluent.
Xiamanyc on YouTube speaks many languages well, even languages I never even heard of. He could work at the United Nations as a translator.
Muslims are very spiritual and I've never heard of a true spiritual believer of Islam go through fear or anxiety or depression. I go through all of those things so I don't know how strong my faith is. I fear that religion is just made up and there is in fact no God looking after us and even good people when they die go to some messed up random place in the afterlife. I fear death because there's no telling where I'll end up. Heaven, maybe. More likely purgatory or limbo which resembles the dream world which resembles this world but with a different set of physics which does not preclude edgy social situations and encounters with snarky people.
Religion hopefully is true. If it's not, then we're all doomed.
I'm still hung up about my thumbnails no longer showing up on the blogger home page where I edit my postings.
Wednesday, June 14, 2023
Went to Sidney BC. I saw Spiderman Across the Spiderverse. It's part 1 and to be continued. Who cares? I was barely able to follow the story. It's very splashy with a lot of video game style splashy artsy graphics. It's basically the same story as Spiderman Into the Spiderverse. Miles Morales has friends from another dimension visit him such as Gwen Stacey or else Spidergirl. Miles himself gets co-opted into the other dimension where he has to fight various interdimensional antagonists. Basically the plot of every Marvel comics story. The next movie will be called Beyond the Spiderverse which is a redundancy. They are already in another dimension, how much more beyond can they go? Or maybe it's two parallel dimensions over such as the next door neighbour to the next door neighbour.
Dreams are supposed to happen in a timeline that's parallel to waking life. So does last nights dream depict what happened the day before or the day after the dream? Answer: Both or neither. When you're dealing with a timeless time modality, such seemingly parallel modular time structures are irrelevant and non sympatico. I'm just guessing. It's rhetorical or subjective just like the perception of linear time is subjective or else non distinguishable from an interdimensional temporal word salad.
Thursday, June 15, 2023
Today, I went to the Beacon Hill Park petting zoo.
Then I went to the beach at the foot of Beacon Hill Park.
The beach at Dallas Road in Victoria is better than Wreck Beach in Vancouver. They have similar set ups. On the road above the beach in Vancouver on Marine Drive near the dorms, you can't see the beach or the sea because of too much forest. In Victoria, you can see the sea from the road above the beach at Dallas Road. In Vancouver, the sea at Wreck Beach leads to the nearby mountains of North Vancouver which is full of buildings and so you feel hemmed in by a sprawling city. In Victoria, the sea leads to the faraway Coast mountains of Washington State where there are no buildings and the mountains are wild and pristine. It's a more pure and transcendental scene.
I went to the Beacon Hill Drive in to get the full Beacon Hill Park experience. I was originally only going to order onion rings. But the prices there are surprisingly inexpensive. So I ordered a deluxe cheeseburger too. The onion rings were $5.50 and the cheeseburger was $6.90 plus a 15% tip.
On the way back at Beacon Hill Park, I saw my old friend Tracy. I saw her at the duck pond where me and Heather used to go to all the time.
Then I went to the museum to see the exhibits again.
It was a glorious day and it was a gift from God.
I still smoked some weed late in the evening. It's been nearly every day for the last two weeks.
Friday, June 16, 2023
Today I went to Chinatown and had house special fried noodles at Ocean Garden restaurant. It is a great restaurant and it smells good in that restaurant. It smells like jasmine flowers.
One of my Huawei tablets just didn't work. It would automatically turn on and off every 30 seconds at 72% battery power. So I decided to retire that one and I got a new Samsung Galaxy A7 10.1" tablet at the pawn store. I got a deal on the tablet. Sometimes, the pawn stores will give you a deal if they know you well enough.
My new Samsung tablet is newer than my old Huawei T3 10 tablet. I could have gotten another Huawei T3 10 but I decided to get a newer tablet. If I got another Huawei T3 10, I would then have 3 of them. Two is enough. One of them has a cracked screen but it still works.
This has been a glorious half week. Sidney BC on Wednesday, Beacon Hill Park beach on Thursday and a new tablet on Friday.
Today I got my digital to analog audio converter. It works! Optical cable to box with headphone port. Then a USB power source connected to the box. It didn't work at first. I had to go into the television's sound settings and set it to Optical +TV speakers setting.
Maybe I shouldn't have gotten the Galaxy A7. I have an 8" Samsung tablet which I never use. It's in good condition but it's old. My Galaxy A7 is a 2021 model. My 8" Samsung tablet has a crack in the frame. I used my Samsung 8" tablet with me when I went to Vancouver to take pictures and videos of my trip. Good times.
I wonder if I'll ever have a chance to live in Vancouver in a neighborhood other than the Downtown Eastside and not in a rooming house. I'd rather live in a normal small apartment. I might be stuck in Victoria for life. Still, I'd rather live in Victoria than in Europe. If I was in Europe, I'd miss Victoria like I miss Vancouver now and I'd miss Vancouver even more. Vancouver is heavenly. The music conservatory near Aberthau Park is heavenly.
My Samsung tablet will make me happy for years to come. I wonder if I'll make it to 60. When I was 20, I wondered if I'd make it to 30. When I was 30, I didn't know if I'd make it to 40 etc.
My Samsung 8" tablet has an 11 digit serial number. The 4th and 5th numbers is G5. G means made in 2015. 5 means made in the month of May.
My A7 has R9 which means made in 2021 in September.
The other year that R in a Samsung tablet serial number stands for is 2001. There's no way my tablet was made back in 2001.
Saturday, June 17, 2023
Visited Heather. We went to the Community Centre for lunch. We then went to City Hall. Then we went for pizza.
Sunday, June 18, 2023
I went to the Chinese Presbyterian Church. I tried to visit Heather. She wast home. I then went home for the rest of the day.
Monday, July 19, 2023
I went to the Museum and saw the Sue the Tyrannosaurus Rex exhibit. The T-Rex is bigger than I thought. There are 3D printers. It wasn't the original Sue the T-Rex fossil.
Sue is named after archeologist or else paleontologist Sue Hendrickson who discovered the fossil on August 12, 1990. On August 11, 1990, little did she know that the next day she would discover a T-Rex skeleton. You never know what life will bring.
The original fossil of Sue the T-Rex is at the Museum of Natural History and Sciences in Chicago.
The exhibit has a good short film about Tyrannosaurus Rex. Each of the 3 scenes in the movie drags on or else dragons for a bit and then there is a T-Rex based surprise.
It also has smell exhibits. One is a set of 3, a flower, a ginger root and a coniferous tree. They smell good and perfumey. The other smell exhibit was of Sue's breath and that smelled bad. Stephen King once wrote in a novel, "He woke up and his breath smelled like a dragon's potty." or words to that effect. The breath smell exhibit smelled like a cross between manure and rotting meat. Lovely. Well, dinosaurs aren't known for brushing their teeth or using mouthwash.
Warning. Bad smell. Smell at your discretion.
Tyrannosaurus has puny arms that look vestigial and punyalthough a Tyrannosaurus would probably win in an arm wresting contest against a man. What exactly did the T-Rex use the arms for?
When I see cars and uses on the streets, I notice that this is a world full of dinosaur scaled things moving around. The T-Rex's skull was as big as a smart car.
"You got a head so big, You know you could have been a smart car." to the tune of The Way You Do The Things You Do
"Larry woke up with a hangover that was not too bad, a mouth that tasted as if a baby dragon had used it for a potty chair." The Stand
I then went to Burger King and got the $10 for two sandwiches mix and match.
At the Library this morning, I found a Hells Angels jacket. I won't wear it because it's a bad thing to wear. It would garner unwanted attention. I'll keep it for awhile and then give it away. Hells Angels are scary. As scary as it gets. It wasn't a leather jacket, it was a glossy polyester jacket.
Tuesday, June 20, 2023
I went to the James Bay Inn restaurant and had breakfast of 2 eggs sunny side up, 3 sausages, diced potato hashbrowns and toast with jam and honey.
Then I walked along the beach as the tide was low and went to the Ogden Point walkway. A cruise ship was coming in, the Holland Sun.
I then went home.
A mini submarine with 5 billionaires aboard, all men is lost at Davy Jones Locker aka the bottom of the sea. Theories on the Internet said they mini sub damaged the transducer and as a result is unable to communicate or else the mini sub has imploded. The CEO of the sub company, Ocean Gate is also aboard. The mini sub is named the Titan. That the owner is in board parallels the Titanic when owner Bruce Ismay was on board. The CEO of Ocean Gate is or else was Stockton Rush. No food, no washroom, cold temperatures. I think they're going to die in the worst way possible.
Titan was the worst name they could have named that sub for anything named Titanic or Titan in the waters off of Cape Race Newfoundland is doomed.
I hope they are found but as Sherlock Holmes said, "I speak of my hopes and not of my expectations."
Sometimes I wonder about the will of God. But this isn't the will of God. Life is always a set up of man's free will pitted against the will of God. Prayers help but is not guaranteed to bring them back. I hope they are found alive. Whoever finds them will get a big reward from the billionaires on board for sure. That's a bad way to go. It's like being buried alive.
Wednesday, June 21, 2023
First day of summer. From here on in, the days get shorter. The years go so fast. I am hurtling into old age. I don't look forward to old age and would like to skip it altogether.
Today I went to Shaw Cable and then to Walmart. I got some dim sum and also some ground white pepper as it is indispensable to good coming and can be used with fish, congee and also steak.
Then I went to visit Heather. We went to a salmon barbeque and then we went to Chinatown. She is a very sweet lady and I love her so much.
Thursday, June 22, 2023
Today, I plopped down $145 total for a Sony UBPX700 4K Blu ray player at the pawn shop. This is not an upscale, it is a 4K player which plays UHD 4K Blu rays. The pawn store even threw in a free 4K UHD disc of my choice. I went with Zack Snyder's Justice League.
London Drugs sells this model of 4K blu ray player for $339 plus tax plus environmental fee. So I got a good deal. Plus those 4K UHD discs cost about $30 or more new at London Drugs.
I went to Sidney and saw The Flash. Great movie. Great story. When The Flash went back in time and saw his mother, that scene brought tears.
While The Flash was back in time, The Flash made a phone call to his father who was in the future in real time which fully registered. That's a working example of how time works. Einstein said that everything is happening simultaneously and time travel is time experienced in an objective level. The traditional mode of linear time is time experienced on a subjective level.
I didn't go to a restaurant in Sidney like I usually do.
After going to Sidney BC, I visited Heather and brought her two treats I got for her from Sidney, an apple pie and a cheddar croissant.
Difference between DVD and blu ray: Noticeable.
Difference between 1080p television and 4k television: Noticeable.
Difference between regular blu ray player and 4K upscaling blu ray player: Noticeable.
Different between 4K upscaling blu ray player and 4K blu ray player: Not noticeable.
Difference between regular blu ray disc and UHD 4K Blu Ray disc: Not noticeable.
For the money it's best to get a 4K TV and and 4K upscaling blu ray player playing regular blu ray discs. The extra money for a 4K blu ray player and 4K UHD blu ray discs isn't worth it.
The Titan sub imploded and everybody died. They died in milliseconds. The passengers would have then immediately become fish food for the creatures of the ocean.
"Nature can be very red in tooth and claw." Tennyson
The name Stockton Rush sounds eerily a lot like Elon Musk. They were entrepreneurs of privately funded trips to strange and far off places. Elon Musk, outer space and Stockton Rush, the deep ocean.
The Titanic Wreck is kind of like the reverse of Mount Everest. Mount Everest is five and a half miles above sea level and the Titanic is two and a half miles below sea level. Each destination is dangerous and would be foolish to go to.
It is man's good fortune that Mt Everest isn't twice its height and man's misfortune that it isn't half its height. Mons Olympus on Mars is almost three times the height of Mount Everest. Likewise it is man's fortune that Titanic isn't at twice the depth that it is and man's misfortune that Titanic isn't at half the depth that it is.
Director James Cameron went on 33 trips to the Titanic. He also went to a depth 3 times the depth of the Titanic at the Marianas Trench. James Cameron went on subs that were certified by the ABS or the American Bureau of Shipping and other regulatory agencies. James Cameron said that Ocean Gate's Titan was not certified.
My advice is life is overwhelming enough. I wake up with fear every day and even going to normal places gives me some fear let alone doing something as batsh*t crazy as visiting the Titanic in a submarine. Why not watch a video about it on YouTube, videos filmed by unmanned robotic subs. My advice is to not even attempt to try to even think about visiting the Titanic in a submarine. Anything that's too difficult isn't worth doing at all. It's not like anyone is legally required to visit the Titanic. The Titanic is essentially a graveyard and its pitch dark down there. On the Titan the passengers would have been sitting on the floor and would have seen the Titanic either on a computer screen filmed from an external camera or else through a tiny porthole. That's worth $250,000? For $250,000, I expect plush leather seats, bay windows, and a disco ball and music in the submarine. I would also expect hors d'oeuvres such as Imperial osetra caviar on blinis and an amuse bouche as well. Or better yet, why even bother going at all. There are lots of things as interesting or even more interesting to see that isn't dangerous. Things like the Pyramids of Egypt or Buckingham Palace or the Forbidden City in Beijing.
If it were up to me, I'd cancel any further trips to the Titanic forever. The Titanic is a doddering wreck. It's been 111 years since the Titanic sank. Any day now, the Titanic would collapse like a house of cards due to erosion and deep ocean oxidization and rust. They should put a camera down there and film it when it completely collapses. That would be the YouTube video of the year.
A sub visiting the Titanic needs a buddy system. SCUBA divers use a buddy system. There needs to be a minimum of two subs whenever a visitation to the Titanic is expedited. Each sub needs to be able to bring the other to the surface. Also the bigger the better. The sub needs to be a large full sized military submarine in size and have three layers of protective reinforcement made of waterproof and watertight graphene.
Also there needs to be two propellers, a main propeller and an auxiliary propeller and there needs to be fast inflating buoyancy bags to life the sub to the surface on a moments notice with diving weights so the passengers don't go to the surface so quickly that they get the bends. If they do get the bends, they need to go to a hyperbaric decompression chamber.
Or better yet, don't even bother going to visit the Titanic anymore. Ever.
Titans were the offspring of Uranus - sky, and Gaia - Earth. They had 12 children. 6 sons, Chronus being one of them and 6 daughters, Rhea being one of them. Chronus and Rhea mated and had 6 children referred to as Olympians, Zeus, Hades, Poseidon etc. Hades means hell and Poseidon is the God of the Sea.
Anyways, Chronus which is where we get the word chronology or time from seized power from his father Uranus and ruled until he was overthrown by his son Zeus.
Titans is about subverting and thwarting the will of the Gods and then themselves being subverted.
The Titan submarine thwarted the will of the Gods of physics and impossible misadventure and was itself thwarted by the forces of Poseidon the sea God. This is the kind of technological hubris that led to people going over Niagara Falls in a barrel. Now it has taken the firm of visiting the Titanic in a glorified barrel with disastrous and fatal results.
Never thwart the will of God.
The mythology of the Titans is where Tolkien got the idea for the Valars who were the children of the Ainurs. Gandalf and Saruman were Valars.
Friday, June 23, 2023
Visited Heather I went with her to the hair salon. Then we went to Chinatown.
Saturday, June 24, 2023
I went to the Chinese Church. It was a day of volunteer work which started at 9 am. When I got there, at 10 am, they said that there was no more work that needed to be done.
Visited Heather. We went to London Drugs. I got some a can of rice wrapped in leaves and a can of eggplant and a can of Thai red curry and a package of Chinese fried intestine sausages.
We went to Chinatown again.
Sunday, June 25, 2023
Went to Christ Church Cathedral. I then went to the Museum as I have an annual pass. I made sure to avoid the dinosaur breath exhibit. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Never go to something repeatedly if you know it's unpleasant.
"The most successful people have a to-do list. We all have our to-do list. Some of the highest achievers have a not to-do list." Jim Kwik, The Secrets of a Productive Day
Smelling the dinosaur breath exhibit is something that would definitely be on the not to-do list.
On the way home, I found three slices of pizza in a box. It was good.
Tim Lee on YouTube goes to the most luxurious buffet places. He is a seasoned traveler. He eats the best foods in the world. Watching his videos is a cure for food anxiety.
Douglas Bloch on YouTube is in a psychiatric recovery centre in Washington State. He got intense depression from chronic long term undersleeping. That will do it. Not sleeping enough long term brings exhaustion which can really wreck the body.
Monday, June 26, 2023
On one of my tablets, Google Chrome kept freezing so I did a factory reset but I didn't take out my memory card first. All my downloads and screenshots are now gone. Well, I didn't look at them much if at all anyways.
Stayed home all day. Didn't go out at all.
I've been microdosing on weed every day for the past month.
Tuesday, June 27, 2023
I went to the pawnstore to try to get Borat 2. It's not available on DVD or Blu Ray as it's only exclusively a digital release.
I went to a Vietnamese restaurant and had a vermicelli bowl with dried roll and grilled lemongrass pork.
Then I went to the theatre to see Asteroid City. It's a great movie set in the 50s around a small town in the desert. This town experiences two alien and UFO visitations.
I saw my friend Becks today. Oh Becks. Becks is a sweet lady. Becks is a panhandler and I think she might be addicted to meth. Oh well. No one's perfect.
"Hey Becks!"
"Yeah?"
"What's up?! I can't get this boy off my mind. He used to give me everything and now he doesn't care. Oh why has he started acting so unkind?"
Ekkah X Dam Funk - What's Up
Wednesday, June 28, 2023
I went to visit Heather. I bought her window washer and I washed her windows.
I wound up getting 3 bottles of Pine Sol for myself for $3 each, regular, lavender and mandarin orange.
Thursday, June 29, 2023
I ran into my friend Jessica today.
The I went to see the new Indiana Jones movie. It was great. 11 stars out of 10. The internet said the movie was garbage. They were wrong. I got the real Indiana Jones feeling. The female co star Phoebe Waller Bridge was great. The internet dumped on her but she was really fantastic in this movie and she saved Indiana Jones from being stuck in some point in the movie. The ending scene was mind blowing and spectacular.
There are movie goers who will complain about any movie. They complained about the Star Wars prequels ie Jar Jar Binks. So much so that it caused George Lucas to quit and give up on making any more Star Wars movies. Then they of course complained about the Disney sequels.
After seeing the movie, I went to visit Heather.
The I went to a Chinese restaurant and had wonton noodles which is the perfect way to celebrate seeing another Indiana Jones movie.
In my town, Victoria BC, the gay parade is on Sunday, July 2. In Vancouver it's on Saturday, August 5.
I don't know if I want to go see the parade.
There will be women showing their breasts which I want to see, but there will also be trannies and guys wearing thongs and shaking their hips which I don't want to see. Kind of like Wreck Beach. There's things that I want to see and there's things that I don't want to see at Wreck Beach.
Gays used to be a persecuted fringe minority. It used to be illegal to be gay.
Then gays became mainstream.
Now they are so mainstream that the gay agenda has become part of the school curriculum.
A YouTube comment said, On a float at a gay parade in New York, some people said, "We're queer, we're queer, and we're here for your children."
It's the SOGI 123 Agenda and Drag Queen Storytime.
Everclear: Get clear. Stay clear.
SOGI 123: Get queer. Stay queer.
Nowadays children are taught that being gay or being a tranny and getting a sex change is an option. Although failure is not an option, sexual reassignment surgery is an option. And that's taught to children?!
Gay people these days comprise of two factions. One is pro SOGI agenda and the other is against the SOGI agenda.
It used to be that guidance class and sex Ed would talk about gay people so far as to say, "Some people in the World are gay. Live and let live." And that's it. Not much more was discussed on the topic.
The SOGI curriculum taught in schools to children changes the center of gravity of the gay presence in contemporary mainstream culture so this makes me hesitant to go see the parade. It's not any kind of priority to see this parade.
In Vancouver, the gay parade on Davie Street should be cancelled only because its redundant. Its already a 24 hour a day gay parade on Davie Street. The Vancouver Pride Society didn't allow the Vancouver Public Library to have a float at the gay parade because the VPL let its venue be available to a controversial anti gay speaker. This was before Covid.
The Vancouver Public Library believes in freedom of expression for anyone who is either for or against a topic. I thought the Pride Society would be more sensitive to persecuting groups who have a difference of opinion let alone lifestyle.
The Vancouver Library was disappointed at not being allowed to take part in the gay parade whereas most people would be disappointed to have anything to do with the gay parade. A large part of the population is right wing, Christian and heterosexual. They would want nothing to do with any kind of gay parade.
In the current incarnation of the gay movement, is the SOGI school curriculum an extension of the gay parade or is the gay parade an extension of the SOGI school curriculum? Before the advent of the SOGI school curriculum, such a question wouldn't have been asked at all.
That's why I'm hesitant to go see the gay parade. If anybody decides not to go see the gay parade, the gay community wouldn't care or miss them at all. One more person goes, one less person goes, what's the difference?
I feel fear because I have no good options.
A) I work being a caregiver to Heather for the next ten years or more leading to mental breakdown and caregiver burnout. As it is, there is no end in sight to the work.
B) I quit and abandon Heather but without my care, I think she'll die and then I will feel guilt and heartbreak for abandoning Heather. I also fear that even with my help, she'll die one day just like in the movie Brooklyn when Ellis Lace's sister suddenly died.
C) I move to Vancouver because I really miss Vancouver but the only neighborhood I can afford to live in Vancouver is the downtown eastside which if possible, has gotten much worse in the last few years. Moving to Vancouver also means abandoning Heather so that's a 2 for 1 deal there.
But if I move to Vancouver, I know I'll miss Victoria.
My future is f*cked yet I can't give up on life. I must keep living. I see no good options.
I pray that God will help me find a way where I don't see a way as Pastor Joel Osteen said.
Romans 8: 35 - 39
38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Nothing can separate me from the love of God. Not fear, not anxiety, not fear caused from using drugs or alcohol nor fear from the sheer uncertainty of a future that seems to have painted me into a corner. I perceive that life has painted me into a corner because I don't have enough information at this point. As time goes on, new information will emerge that will make sense of and unravel what seems to be a future with no good options. Between a rock and a hard place. Caught between Scylla and Charybdis.
"I am concerned for the security of our great nation not so much because of threats from without but because of the insidious forces working from within."
General Douglas MacArthur
MacArthur might as well also be referring to the individual as well as the collective. The individual has insidious internal forces such as the compulsion to do things that one already knows to be counterproductive and counterefficient such as addiction to tobacco, alcohol and drugs or gambling addiction or workaholics and compulsion to caregivig leading to caregiver burnout or else feeling guilty and trapped which is a classic sign of caregiver burnout.
Proverbs 3: 5 "Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding."
Eckhart Tolle said that fear is the mind telling itself a distorted story. The ego seeks to have control and part of that is telling a story that creates that illusion of control when in reality, no one knows what will happen. At the one hour mark of watching a movie, I don't know what will happen in an hour as to how the movie will end. How can I think I know what will happen in 10 years?
