Now that the World has fucked itself into a coma or shit itself into oblivion as Cable from Deadpool 2 said, I thought I'd take this opportunity to write that: When this COVID 19 lockdown nightmare aka The Neverending Story is over, I'm going to move to another town. I read an online article, 10 Signs You May Be In The Wrong Place In Life and most of the signs applied to me. Doubts, signs that make me think of moving, always questioning myself in a way I wouldnt be if I was in the right place. I have to get out of here.
"You'd be surprised how easy it is to take a wrong turn no matter how short the journey." Matthew McConaughey, White Boy Rick
That should be the town's new slogan. "If you thought it was a backwater shitshow back when it was normal. Back during the 1918 Spanish Flu, they didn't have antibiotics let alone space travel. We have space travel and we still have to deal with weird bullshit diseases? Incompetence, the more people involved, the less any one person knows what they're doing. And these jokers expect to get reelected. The odds of them getting reelected again are inversely proportional to the duration of the fuck up. I'd still vote for Trudeau after all this because this is classic Trudeau, just like his father and I wouldn't expect anything less, as no Trudeau term of Office quite feels complete unless the whole country's shut down for two weeks or whatever. But I can't speak for the rest. As anthropology 101 would teach you, people may or may not vote for incumbent leaders again after a catastrophic fiasco like a pandemic lockdown. On election day, their subconscious would remember the from times of the disaster. Of course a politician would say that a disaster doesn't hurt their chances of reelection at all as all elections are rigged and predecided and they couldn't care less about your crazy vote. Trump shut down the country once and he was going to extend it indefinitely so he could get funding for his Mexico wall, but people walked off the job en masse at JFK airport in New York with long line ups. Platoon, You dudes are gonna love 'the Knob'. For fucking ever. You're gonna love the Covid 19 lockdown. For fucking ever. That's how long it's going to last. Civilization. It's been a good run. But how good was it really? There was a lot of weird shit that went on during Civilization at full speed. The human species is defective and has only an average IQ of 115
Medieval Fantasy Town. My drawing, Dean Noble.
For me, and this is just my opinion, PM Justin Trudeau did something, I can't specify what, but he did something so great that even though many would place him in a top ten list or top three of the greatest Prime Ministers of Canada. Notwithstanding the COVIDian lockdown, for me still, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is the number one best Prime Minister that Canada has ever had and perhaps ever will have. Better than John A MacDonald. The thing that he did bars many people entry to the United States but that's an easy turn to issue when the Customs Officer looked on their computer file and saw that they were a protester. They couldn't very well ask, "Are you a protester?" Instead it's other questions. In the Post COVIDian era, I still would like to visit the United States one day. I think that a lot of people in the United States know of me and like me. One time, a few years ago, a person I met who specifically said that he was from the States gave me a special coin which I still have. Keeping score as ever, it was the day after I tweeted on Twitter that the largest organism in the world is a mushroom in the United States.
Coronavirus - Build up: 7 months. Destroyed: In seconds.
Lots of people are scared. To allay fears, that is if anyone reads this is that things will be all right. The Tokyo Olympics were rescheduled for July 2021. They wouldn't do that if they thought the World is going to end. The lockdown gives us a chance to deconstruct the government and to realize that restaurants, bars, trampoline centers are just the tip of the ice berg and that the government is very immense at its core. The military, Police, political structure, are all still intact. As for restaurants, most towns have too many restaurants anyways. And just about half the restaurants are fronts for money laundering scams. You got to make $500 a day just to keep the lights on. Those restaurants will do fine. Most businesses are fronts for money laundering scams anyways so that's a hidden sign that society and civilization are sure to survive! It's capitalism with a capitalist safety net! This Covidian crisis won't kill the marketplace, it will merely modify it. Reshape it. In any crisis situation, a lot of industries will go under, but a lot will do extra well. Uber delivery drivers are still functioning because restaurants haven't gone completely under and are doing take outs, deliveries, etc and some of these restaurants are doing better than they would be in a normal situation. I used to practice social distancing and self isolation before it was a thing. It was pretty much a description of my loner lifestyle. Which paid off. It's an ill wind that blows nobody any good. This COVID lockdown has seen a decrease in car accidents, a decrease in air pollution which actually saved a lot of lives as Thoughty2 said on a YouTube video. And people are doing a lot less of the usual sleazy things people do when things are in full swing like make sleazy videos with the underaged. Sure, it's passing the buck. The politicians say this lockdown is a UN policy and the UN says local policies are jurisdictional.
In psychology, situations are given a stress index. Death of a family member, marriage, divorce, all place high. There are worse things than a COVID lockdown. I might be locked down for the next few weeks until the States takes care of their COVIDian dilemma, but in that time I might not otherwise be stoned on LSD or ayahuasca. That's worse than a COVID lockdown. Two weeks at Riker's Island would be more stressful than two months of Covid lockdown. Even with risk of death, I think if I was forced to climb Mount Everest, that would be worse than a Covid lockdown, climbing Everest, especially the death zone has more chance of death than a Covid pandemic. Sure, this is Worldwide, but is it? While my part of the country is in the middle of, or "cautiously optimistic" that the end is in sight, other parts of my country are just starting their lockdown. Italy has the worst cases of Covid 19 in Europe. The United States may have 5 times the population of Italy, but don't think that means that they have 5 times the money as Italy. Try about a thousand times the size of Italy. Anything the Americans do, military, health, technology, they're a few levels above what most every other country in the World is doing. I'm sure that the Americans will be more than capable of dealing with this dilemma. The United States may have 10 times the population of Canada but don't think that they have 10 times the money. More like a thousand times the money. And the States has way more than 5 times the surface area of Italy, try about 200. It's pretty splayed out. Still I hope that the good people of the United States pulls through this.
A lot of cases in the States are from the people who still gathered in groups two weeks ago if the incubation rate is 7 days and the doubling rate is every 6 days. "He's answering a question from half an hour ago." Rain Man
Italy is a country that has a history that is thousands of years old. They are a smart country and have pulled through situations quite a bit tougher than this like World War 2 with a smaller population and with less technology. I hope they pull through this.
Italy has some of the Fathers of Medicine and they are some of the Masters of Medicine. Body parts such as the latissimus dorsi and the scapula and ven deferens are given Latin names. That should be your first clue. Ven deferens means the vessel which carries away. Hopefully something will carry this virus away.
Sure this is World wide, but on the average, other places have had worse events. Events where the infrastructure isn't intact. Earthquake, natural disasters, wars, but those places still pulled through. So will we.
In this climate of medical culture, a lot of comorbidity deaths are listed as default coronavirus just to pump up the fear when it was a case of, "Are you sure it wasn't the cancer that did it?" Someone on YouTube comments said as much, "It's like saying that Tupac died of a heart attack in relation to his gunshot wound."
Please don't be afraid. We're all in this together. I'm here for all of you. Remember you are loved.
"Sometimes storms will show up not to create confusion and turmoil but to clear a path."
Everyone involved in the facilitation and dissolution of this pandemic is a hero. They are the Rockstars of health care. Everyone who works at WHO at the UN and health care workers at the local level. My cartoon is dedicated to you. Would it make a difference though? It's really just an amateur cartoon whose production values show that I never went to film school, especially a film school in Los Angeles. Most professional shows are very rich with paced and flowing dialogue, narrative, speaking. My cartoons? Not so much. I'll have to work on that in the next few years. People from the United States do the best YouTube videos of all.
Good News: I got the Rise of Skywalker Blu Ray. Bad News: My Samsung Blu Ray player and my 5 years old Song Blu Ray don't feel like playing Blu rays. The Samsung was working fine yesterday.
Today! It works well on my Sony blu Ray player which for some reason, is working.
This Covidian lockdown is a sublimated, roundabout form of martial law. "It's the level of deception. The extent of the lie." The Falcon and the Snowman Censorship in any country now is very streamlined these days. Pandemic lockdown, martial law, either resembles one another. It's a form of detente. Welcome to the DMZ, the demilitarized zone. Otherwise this is a nice break from the usual bullshit. Gang slayings, another cop got shot somewhere, angry gunman mass shooting, yet another Amber alert or else more angry protesting. All that's out the window for the time being. I'm afraid that we're going to be back to all that not too soon.
Wuhan is reopening. They started their lockdown when they had a thousand cases and 50 deaths, statistics inaccurate. Whereas we started our lockdown when there were 50 cases. Still, Wuhan is reopening. And that's a city with a population of 11 million people. Hubei is opening up again and that region has 58 million people. Their lockdown started at the end of January and 2 months later, they are a reemergent force.
With a military logistical tenacity that hasn't been seen in China since the building of the Great Wall, Wuhan constructed a 1,000 bed hospital in two weeks.
If Wubei and Huhan can reopen again, then we will as well eventually. All restaurants signs in town say temporarily closed. Not permanently closed like Kaiser Permanente.
From the view counter on this blog, if that's anything to go on, no one reads this blog. Either Google or a hacker is manipulating my view count. See, if my mother had aborted me 50 years ago, I wouldn't have to think of this today. I'll have to talk to her about this when I see her in the afterlife. Anyways, moving on. All pandemics have three phases, beginning, mid phase and ending. Like an acid trip, there's the climb, the peak, and the comedown. Or if this was chess, the opening gambit it has been played and exhausted, the opening Sicilian defense has been played and countered. Now we're into the mid game. In chess a mid game is established when all the pieces are out and when you've castled at least once. In a pandemic a mid game is established when all the pandemic measures are in place and when you've personally majorly panic attacked at least once.
Actually, the Google built in view count registers two views. In installed a widget so now my blog is like a an of Guinness beer with a widget and it said that my page has over 19,700 views. That's not bad. I'm more than overwhelmed with such a high view count. Thank you, life.
In a pandemic, the opening phase involves climbing statistics, increasing measures involving store and restaurant closures, social distancing and groups no larger than 20 at most. Then there's the celebrities getting the disease which would have been seen as an ascension or acceleration of events. Now we're into the mid phase. The cases still climbing are either from infections gotten just before the lockdown commenced or else some peripheral carryover infections from that most notably nosocomial infections. Wouldn't people who are vaping be more vulnerable to Covid 19? Anyways, now that people are doing the measures with every passing day, from this point on, the likelihood is that much less, not more that one would get the disease. The celebrities have all convalesced from the disease and are all still alive. The numbers at the peak although higher than they ever were during the opening phase is stabilized, there is no more or less deaths than yesterday. That will go on for two weeks. Then the closing phase sees a slow decline of infection and death rates. No time to be complacent, we're certainly not out of the woods yet but there is a slackening of the tension and the stress witnesses weeks earlier. If a disease has an incubation time of one week and a doubling rate of 6 days, then a minimum health measures quarantine would be two weeks for the opening phase, two weeks for the mid phase and three weeks for the declination. Ontario is doing a 12 weeks shutdown presumably based on a 4 week opening phase, 4 week mid phase, and 4 week end game. 4 years is a lifetime in politics. 4 weeks is a lifetime in a pandemic. Think of it as a 12 week sabbatical. Hope you are all well. We're all in this together and I'm here for you - in spirit. No emails or phone calls. I wish all of you all the best. Lots of love.
There's a lot of people on YouTube who boast of living great lives. In fact, the whole point of the video for anyone who would watch it is that they are rubbing it in your face that their lives are so much better than yours. Some people like to do that. Comparison is the thief of joy as Mark twain said. First of all why should I hang on the words of people I never have met and most likely never will meet? To compare my lifestyle with anyone who lives outside the hotel that I live at let alone outside of a five block radius of where I live is an extraneous spurious useless waste of time. I live in small town Canada and I'm supposed to compare my life with that of someone who lives in Los Angeles? Uh, no thanks. I mean, haha, would I be legally required from compare my life with that of someone living in LA? Those people live hundreds in some cases thousands of miles away. It's not like I'm ever planning to visit those places. How often do I talk about wanting to visit there? Uh, never. Besides there's other places that I'd much rather visit. However due to temperamental laziness, and lack of money, I doubt that I'd be traveling anywhere ever again. A lot of these big stars are American and although certainly not every American is like this, most of then aren't in fact, a lot of Americans on YouTube are megalomaniacs. "Americans can not imagine a World where they are not one step ahead." Vantage Point. I usually watch non fiction documentary type videos although I sometimes watch the YouTube big celebrity videos. I don't compare my life to theirs. I wouldn't even attempt to try to.
The thing is, do you think it's that easy to make money? If it was so easy to make money on YouTube, everyone would quit their jobs. That would cause a societal collapse bigger than a pandemic lockdown would. If you can do a less than ten minute YouTube video and make a few thousand dollars every day, why bother working at the old job making not even a couple hundred a day? I know of a lot of computer techs who refuse to do any YouTube videos knowing the short shrift most people including myself get from YouTube. There are people who own computer stores selling computers who refuse to do a YouTube video. I never heard of anyone in my small town in Canada having over 500,000 subscribers, let alone a million. You usually see that sort of thing with YouTubers who live in LA or New York. That should be your first clue. YouTube hates me anyways. Whenever I leave a comment I might get one like. Others get hundreds, thousands of likes. For me, YouTube is a useless waste of time. A real life is better than a life lived on YouTube.
However what I do like about the celebrity videos is that these people are larger than life. They never seem to let the bad times get them down. And that lifts the rest of all of us up as a rising tide lifts all ships. These celebrities are very talented and their production values show that either they went to film school or else really know what they're doing unlike yours truly. Their videos are dialogue driven. That's something my cartoons could use as it's very skimpy with dialogue. I don't have selective mutism it's just that talking so much seems long winded, patches my throat and talking too much seems demagoguish. Overcoming the fear of public speaking is something that Toastmasters is all about. There are a few videos on YT about the subject. I wish I were more like the mega celebrities on YouTube. If they have a few million subscribers they must be doing something right. Long may they run.
There is a science to YouTube celebritydom and some of it is scary. Reportedly, YT celebrities report getting a few snarky comments every day. When you get a few thousand comments a day, some are bound to be snarky. I get one snarky comment and half the time I'm going to the Police dept about it. The big YouTube celebrities never go to the Police when they get snarky comments. They just don't care. Too many trips tongue Police Department and there's a system. YouTube somehow knows about this and limits comments, likes etc. Me and lots of others over the years have gone to the Police to report snarky comments. If you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen. Big time YouTube celebrities anticipate snarky comments and can take the pressure. That's why they're big time YouTube stars. They're fearless. I admire them.
Waiting for something unpleasant to end, like a pandemic say in ten weeks, doesn't take as long psychologically as waiting for something really pleasant to start. For e.g. if I were to travel to England in ten weeks and in first class sitting on large white leather seats like James Bond, that would seem like forever. Until last week I was waiting for the plague doctor mask from amazon, simultaneously waiting for something unpleasant to end and for something pleasant to arrive. Plays pleasant plays unpleasant. The wait was excruciating!
I ordered the plague doctor mask on March 8. Amazon said the earliest it would arrive is on the 27th of March. It arrived on the 24th, - three days earlier than the earliest expected date! Hey that's not bad for being in the midst of a global pandemic.
The last time there were such stringent and exacting measures for a global pandemic was the zika virus when countries had to spray DDT or whatever they use these days and cover up all exposed basins, wells, toilets, etc. There are global pandemics and there are global pandemics. The Zika virus was a relatively minor one. This one's a whopper.
Olde London Towne. My drawings.
The Nonsuch House on the old London Bridge. Named so because there were none such houses of beauty anywhere to match. In the mid 1700s demolition on the bridge was started and the last tenants left after 550 years of living on the bridge.
London, UK.
Medieval village.
Warning: I'm about to do a dark scene in my plague doctor cartoon. It's obtained from a hypnagogic vision, so as Edgar Cayce said, dreams show the forces behind life, it might have a negative resonance. Worst of all when I draw it, some catalytic exteriorization effect occurs and either the fire alarm goes off or the next morning a whopping life occurs. Should I bring it? I asked someone and they said sure. It's a cartoon about a plague for God's sake so it should include at least one dark scene otherwise it's too sugary, too candy ass which it might already signed from because it's probably a tad too baroque and not nearly dark and gothic enough to be a bona fide cartoon set sometime during one of the black plagues. During the four hundred years there were a few hundred outbreaks. It wasn't all one solidified plague. Outbreaks came and went depending on who was unlucky enough to get flea-bitten.
The dark scene is just before a really good scene and it's all good and happy ending from then on. It's always darkest just before the dawn. That dark scene is the point of denouement.
I have a COVID 19 lockdown to do list which includes watching a lot of specific movies. Because time passes quickly and things have a way of slipping my mind, the pandemic will be lifted before I finally watch all the movies. The Island starring Ewan McGregor is one of them. Soylent green island.
Cases include the dead and recovered. Even if someone had it a month ago and recovered, they're still counted as among the cases. Total cases on record. Otherwise it isn't as accurate.
A pandemic lists Cases, Recovered, and Deaths. If it was martial law it would list Detained, Released, and Executed - for crimes against the State..
Only an Orwellian doublespeak conspiracy theorist would believe that 9/11 was a case of not terrorism that they said was terrorism. And COVID 19 pandemic and lockdown is a case of terrorism that they said was not terrorism. Do I believe it? No. Silly nonsense is what conspiracy theories is.
In a Court of Law, the most major pieces of evidence are introduced first. During a martial law sweep, the moat major person is arrested last. "That's Life!" Tommy Wiseau
Tips for me to do better YouTube videos or not. 1. Needs more dialogue. It need a to be dialogue driven. 2. It needs a minimum of four people working on it. The Beatles rule. But the Beatles had more than four people working on their albums, they had dozens of people including sound engineer Alan Parsons. 4 people and not 4 random people plucked off the street. 4 people who have at least some film related degree from a local vocational school, sound engineer degree, costume designer, video editing, art director, whatever. Those ghosthunting videos where it seems like it's just one or two or four people, there are always at least 3 camera operators that you never see. 3. Live in the right town. Los Angeles and New York YouTubers seem to be the most successful on the planet on the average. Live in the wrong town and guaranteed nothing will happen for you. People will discourage and resent you or never mention your talent. They dont want you to leave and create a brain drain because they know that you know there is no future in the town. Live in the right town and people will encourage you. Stanley Kubrick himself said that. Some towns are more Instagram lifestyle towns than others. None of these are fail safe rules and plenty of people on YouTube has followed all these rules and still aren't very successful. My videos are maybe film school homework assignment but not at market standard. Somewhat anemic in production value, not dialogue driven, one man band, tacky. My cartoons are just a hobby. It needs more elements to give it a professional look. Stanley Kubrick said it takes one man to direct a movie. But his movies were dialogue driven and although he was the one man who was the director, he usually had a few hundred people working behind the scenes on his movies. He wasn't just a one man band. Anyways, that's life.
As it is, I live in the wrong town. When this thing is over, if I survive, I'm leaving this town. Ten years, every year a shit year. Bad luck automatically means wrong town. I would have left already if this pandemic didn't happen. I've had it with this town. Year after year of shit after shit. The last decade was a real shit show. I might die of coronavirus but my life is going nowhere anyways. It'd be a different dynamic if I actually thought my life was going somewhere. With coronavirus one dies fast. This cartoon might be my last unfinished cartoon if I die of coronavirus. What do i care? But my life is going nowhere. I have no future. If i were to be stuck in this town I have no future. What or who do I really have to live for? If I die, all I could say is that it's been a run. My life. I don't know if I could say that it's been a good run. Merely a run.
If I had a wife and or child that would be a different dynamic when it comes to an incentive to go on living. That would be a different level from where I am now. No wife, no children, I look back and every year of my life has been a shit year, a joke. If I die, I just hope that it's fast. I don't know if I really want to go on living. What would I really have to live for?
One sure sign of dying is if one is awake and they see ghosts of their dead relatives all of a sudden. But these visions are usually supremely comforting. I've been looking for that but haven't seen any but have had disturbing hypnagogic visions of a dark shadow figure. On two occasions but these were very mild, slight, almost innocuous. One of the visions was a shadow figure was standing behind a screen door as two people were talking. Sounds imaginary. It was very slight, on that level. It wasn't like wake up screaming, it wasn't that level. But if I see my dead relatives in the next few weeks that means I'm going to die. I just hope it's quick. In the afterlife, it seems I am consigned to the limbo that is a holographic other dimensionally carbon copy of the highway between Dawson Creek and Vancouver.
Children have appeared more frequently in recent dreams. First i run up some stairs thinking they were dirty and had to washed with water and vinegar. Then into a room, with a little girl and a little boy appearing in a room with a pool table. I walked past them authoritatively expertly leaning forward and then went into a study and sat down, leaned forward on a desk and reflected. Could those be my future children as future children often appear to people in dreams especially in times of crisis to reassure. I don't know. Sounds imaginary and delusional. But not to the mantids who are above the greys. Those ETs are much more highly telepathic than the greys who are telepathic enough! The mantids would know whenever I am drawing a picture of one of my dreams with my fingers and what dream exactly. They're on that level. I learned about the mantids from guess where? YouTube.
Also on the same day, Tuesday April 7, 2020 I also had a dream of a lady I was with earlier. I first saw her in a room I was lying down in, with a medical cabinet. She was with a younger and shorter girl. I hugged her and she was wearing red purple red velvet pants. I remember as I was leaving a room, there she sat at a kitchen table with some other people. Now instead of velvet purple red pants, she was wearing red Manolo Blahniks! Something like that I'd remember!
If I had a million dollars I'd get enough cocaine to make an outline of Canada like JaredLeto did with the Ukraine in the movie Lord of War. "First I start in Nova Scotia, then I move down along the St Lawrence through Montreal and then slowly making my way to Toronto..." "You'll be dead before you hit Saskatchewan!" Keeping in mind that two grams is the lethal dosage of cocaine and it has a three hour delayed reaction. So if one does three grams, they'll be alive for another three hours but their road to death at that point would be certain without medical intervention.
Some of the coronavirus videos on YouTube are 4 weeks ago so the newspaper is starting to yellow a bit on this story.
The movie Ghosthunters starring Stephen Manley, David origami, and Liz Fanning has a plague doctor in it. An evil one. I've wanted to see a movie about a plague doctor. When the pandemic is over maybe Disney could make one.
The movie, The Frame shows a paramedic using a telescoping stick s a weapon.
Now the way it happened is two weeks after doing the segment in my Plague Doctor cartoon with the telescoping stick, I see this on television. My new Sony 4K blu Ray player bought from my pandemic relief has Tubi. Now had I not bought that. Tubi plays movies automatically even when you sleep, one after another. I sleep, wake up, and The Frame is on. And I wasn't looking away or at the sink etc I was looking at the screen. That's important. When I see a coincidence related to my cartoons, that's a sign from God that I'm on the right track.
4-9-2020. Today, I ordered another plague doctor mask from amazon. I am going for the brown plague doctor mask which is more to the traditional plague doctor mask, the early model. The brown plague doctor mask has a nautical look to it and would be the kind of mask for a plague doctor who lives at a lighthouse.
The other black and silver plague doctor mask I got is gothic. This brown one is baroque. The other one resembles a crow or a raven. This one resembles a seagull or an albatross.
My new plague doctor mask is expected to arrive on May the 4th be with you. Either way I win. If I get the mask and the COVID lockdown is still on, I get to have a plague doctor mask, again, during an actual pandemic and not just a local one, a global one, how rockstar is that? If I get the mask and the pandemic is lifted then it would be nice for the accursed thing to be over. The other option is I die of coronavirus during the interim. I also win. My life is going nowhere. "Life?! What are you doing talking to me about life? I ain't got no life! The only life I got is in them pelts!" Tom Hardy, The Revenant I have no future so if I died, the afterlife is a blast from all accounts. A better cleaner set of physics. An immaculate set of physics compared to the dirty physics of this dimension. I don't know the future. Who does?
If they were to categorize the demographics of those afflicted with coronavirus like they did with AIDS in the 80s, instead of seeing it listed as cases and deaths, you would see patients and victims. That might be funnier, but for whom? During the 80s if a person had AIDS, they were an AIDS patient. If they died then they were known as an AIDS victim for example Ron Foxhall and the AIDS victim. Saul Bellow The Victim. With coronavirus there are only deaths and no victims. It is an etymology of epidemiology that involves slight shaming and is perhaps not too PC. Thank goodness we don't use those terms anymore.
I got some money from the government today. Government pandemic relief in the form of a few hundred dollars. I never heard of that. Pandemic relief for the purchase of plague doctor masks and other pandemic privations. Did they have that during the Spanish Flu of 1918? Probably not. So I could afford another plague doctor mask. This new one costs $19. The other one costs $17.
See,🌀 I said it before, at it's🌎 core, the government is quite immense. Intense.
If you own a small business in Canada like a restaurant, you're eligible for $50,000 relief!
This just the tip of the iceberg. To give you an idea, most taxes are hidden taxes. 85% of gasoline and tobacco prices on average is hidden taxes.
If one spends all their time during a global pandemic looking at internet porno, to them, wouldn't it be a porndemic? That's sad which is upsetting but what would be equally upsetting is the real thing and then spending the next day wondering, "Will I be on the hook for child sport in 9 months?" "As the snow flies, On a cold and gray Chicago mornin' A little child is born In the ghetto." Been there done that. Fuck a woman in the ghetto no condom and then wonder if I'm going to be on the hook for child support in 9 months.
Public service ad: "Practice social distancing. Wash your hands. Don't be a victim. Don't be a walking coronavirus statistic. Don't be victimized. Don't be a casualty of COVID 19 victimization."
I'm not afraid anymore. I'm thoroughly convinced my life is going nowhere so even if I die of some new trendy wretched global pandemic disease I don't care. I never wanted to start a family, the ideal is that that's the ideal. The reality is that that isn't the ideal, not for me. So what would I have to live for? From all accounts coronavirus death is relatively quick and painless. Over a million cases and over a hundred thousand deaths worldwide in less than a month is quick. And the deaths weren't known to be screamers. Hence painless. It's a rather subdued type of death. More ghastly moans than actual screams. When this is over I'm moving. My luck in this town hasn't been that great. That's the surest sign of all that you're in the wrong town. If a person has bad luck, it isn't because of who they are and what they did, it's where they are. Things that are bad about them that are an issue about them in this town are irrelevant in another and things that are good about them are irrelevant in this town whereas in another, it's an issue, a good issue. Whatever works. If my luck doesn't change, I'm leaving. Read the signs. Or I might die of coronavirus in the meantime and in between time. One should never underestimate things like this. I really don't see my life going anywhere anyways. I do a YouTube video and it doesn't really have any views. Useless. Waste of time. Waste of life. If this thing didn't happen I was halfway planning to move to another town. Seriously.
A person has a 3% chance of dying if they get coronavirus. That means even with coronavirus they have a 97% of survival. I'd take those odds in Vegas any day! But with the pandemic measures in place and in general, according to thoughty2 on YouTube, one has a .002% of dying, which means a virtual 100% chance of survival. I'd definitely take those odds in Vegas! Even during the Vietnam War, one had a less than 25% of dying. They might get a life changing injury but otherwise be alive. But even then probably not. Lots of people came back from the Vietnam War even after multiple tours of duty.
Someone told me about CERB, he said people on welfare get it too. I have my doubts. I could try but they'd probably refuse. If I get it through a clerical error, they'll ask for it back in a few years. I've heard of cases like that! The deal is $2,000 a month for the next 4 months including this one. The first time you might get two $2,000 cheques one of them being back pay for last month! The guy sounded so convincing. Easy. They don't check. Welfare people can get it. Just give the SIN number. It sounded suspicious, giving the SIN # over the phone, but I cross checked the phone number on the internet. It's a legit one! One hundred percent Canadian government certified. I should try it, I'm thinking. Doubtless some would try it, thinking, Suing is one thing, getting it is another. They shut down nearly all pay phones in town but I got a tip that a few in town are still working. I'd need a plastic bag to wrap the phone with first so as to not spread nor get any contagion. I don't have any but someone looking from a distance wouldnt know that. I walked around looking for a payphone today five minutes after checking the phone number on the internet. As I walked a Police car passed me. It seemed like he might have known what was going on. There's a lot of people, line ups for that money. I never heard of any other government on the planet who is so generous with pandemic relief. All other countries got a cheapskate reputation or jot, I don't really know their reputation, it's just my impression that no other country is as generous as Canada. Not even the United States nor the UK. But maybe there is pandemic relief in those countries and mind blowing ones too. Just do the research. I'm sure I'm wrong about other countries being not that generous. One more thing. What would I need the $8000 for? Why else would anyone else need it for? Coke deal. Then flip it. See if you could flip it a few times! No no no no! Joking. Actually I don't know if I actually need it for anything other than a two week vacation in *********. Don't do coke deals! Watch the movie The Counselor starring Brad Pitt and Michael Fassbender and you'll know why. Deadly. Lethal.
For the record, I didn't and wouldnt apply for it. Why would I? I'm not qualified. If anyone tells you that you can do this, it's a scam.
Some people it seems are still going for the gold. They have some reason to believe that the government is not going to come after them when all this is over. In a global pandemic economy, $2000 is worth about $200 in a normal economy because there is less of an opportunity cost. If they had their mind set on going to restaurants, museums, rock concerts, night clubs, traveling, that's no longer a reality and besides, some of them probably figure that they could be dead in a few months. $2000 doesn't go nearly as far as it did six months ago. In this case the $2000 seems more like a pyrrhic victory than anything else.
$2,000 is an interesting amount. According to YouTube History Buffs The Untouchables, in the movie, Agent Eliot Ness refused a bribe of $2,000 stuffed in an envelope. This is historically accurate as $2,000 was the annual wage of a prohibition agent which gangster Al Capone was willing to pay every week.
I know of some people who applied for and got the $2,000. In fact, they got $4,000. It will be funny when the government catches up with them. People who do that have no self discipline. I told one person to go to welfare on Monday and tell them what happened. That you were lulled in from some speech and misguidedly decided to do it but will voluntarily give it back. When the government looks for the ones who did it, they'll say a lot of people already voluntarily returned the money. There couldn't have been just one person who thought of that. It would be funny if even if they told welfare, welfare would say, we don't care, you fucked up. You should have known better.
I don't have nor need $2,000 even multiple payments of $2,000. "My mother always said that you only need so much money. The rest is just for decoration." Forrest Gump Would I need it to travel? I don't need to travel. You dance with the one that brung you. I was thinking that with a few thousand, I could get a BMW but why would I want that? I wish I never thought of it in the first place. All cars are a hassle. Gas, insurance, seasonal tires, parking, etc. I don't want to date outside my class. It's differing dynamics; high class equals incentive, turn on. Low class equals disincentive, turn off. It's a no-brainer. That's a non-starter. Pebbles thrown against a window, trying to date a woman of a different class, BMW M series, what is this. West Side Story? To date a lady who drives a nice car reminds me of how I never got a nice car. Welfare gave all people on welfare $100,000 over the last ten years. Most people including yours truly spent all of that. There an urban legend about how The Sex Pistols a $100,000 take in a single concert all on drugs. This would be akin to that. Did welfare not give me $100,000 in the last ten years? Could I have not gotten a BMW? I didn't. The BMW has a peculiar resonance. When I was 18, I really wanted a BMW. So much so that i even got a BMW model that I glued and put together. It was an M series one too. Goddamn me for ever wanting something like that so much at one point. Now I'm in this bad energy jangle. To know a lady outside of my class who drives a BMW M series. That would always be a very relevant variable. To not know her at all would make that an irrelevant variable in my life. There are tens of millions of women in the World who drive nice cars. Why ignore the tens of millions and then all of a sudden just focus on one? It's not something I want to think of to start with. To stand there on the sidewalk and see her drive away in a nice car is a profoundly disempowering experience. Screaming internally. I could have died right there on the spot! Something I don't want to experience ever again. I'd rather be dead, I'd rather be six feet under the ground than to experience something like that ever again. Dating outside of my class or even attempting to is an impossible situation. Difficult is one thing. Impossible is another. My only hope lies in meeting a woman I never met before. Every year, let alone every decade, I meet new women I never met before. Maybe I'll really hit it off with one of them. My girlfriend is a great lady but we're little more than platonic friends. I hope to meet another lady. If not if I die of coronavirus, I wouldn't care. I see no hope for my future as it is. The News the other day said a 44 year old health care worker died of coronavirus. Why do I let myself get into these situations? I've known this great lady for 5 years. Wonderful smart lady. Nothing but good things to say. I love her immensely and I always will. Whatever happens or doesn't happen, I will love her forever. But I've known about the car for 3 years. Out of my league, equals, impossible situation, equals waste of time equals I'd be just as well off dead than to delve into the impossible and to waste my time. Difficult is one thing. Impossible is another. Impossible? No thanks. That BMW M series is an icon of impossibility. I should have never have wasted as much of my time as I did. Better no tree than barking up the wrong tree. I quit. I give up. App uninstalled.
In the short term, it's pretty good. However, in the long term, I don't see it going anywhere. My youth and my energy and time will be used up, wasted. Better to give up and meet someone else.
To take my mind off all of this, I'm getting a high class steampunk long nose plague doctor mask:
I'll ask my mother in the afterlife why didn't she abort me? Her life was technically more successful than mine ever was. She left me to live to face these bullshit energy jangles. All I get is disappointment. To quote someone on Twitter: I don't have time for useless friendships, meaningless acquaintances and relationships that go nowhere. I'd rather be dead or just simply not know them at all. I might die of coronavirus before this is all said and done. As far as coronavirus is concerned, I'm ready to lean into the strike zone and take one for the team. Wake up one morning or not drowning in white blood in the lungs. Bring it on. My life is clearly going nowhere anyways. Death before dishonour. It's not as is I were begging for my life at every turn.
In dreams, I have ridden on a UFO with several grey aliens wering silver tinfoil spacesuits onboard. I have ridden a carved white wood marble Royal palanquin cart. After that, riding in a BMW series would be all right, but not like the rides I've gotten. I never rode in her BMW and why the hell would it come to that point where I'd be thinking of that? I never wanted to be in that position of need with her. With anyone. "You don't want to be lead down the primrose path!" The Polar Express She certainly doesn't owe me a ride anymore than life owes me anything or that I owe life anything. Like I said, I'd really rather not be thinking of that at all! I really would rather be dead than to get to some contemptible insufferable point like this. The only cure is time away. Maybe I'll meet another lady in the future. Or maybe I'll be dead. I really see no hope for the future. I wish was dead.
Because of my misgivings, I thought at one time that I should have avoided her and her BMW M series like avoiding the plague. But I haven't been able to.
Like "What do you think of her?" Han "I'm trying not to." Star Wars
I really shouldn't see her during these benighted times anyways. What part of global pandemic do you not understand? It's a built in excuse to avoid anyone. I can't or won't see you. It's a global pandemic.
What I wrote above. "The course of true love never did run smooth." Shakespeare
For the first time in my life, I know what true love is. I love her immensely. I would give my all to her. But with any love hold something back for yourself. Never give over 100% of yourself. Always have a plan B because most likely this is delusional. I don't want to disappoint her. My plan B is to move to Vancouver and then Toronto or London England.
I cancelled on the steampunk plague mask. I'm only going to wear it on the street less than 5 times. And at the cost of $150. Pricey. And wait three weeks. I went to a pawn store to talk about this steampunk plague mask. They said it was 100% polyurethane or PU Leather. No metallic on it at all. Looks are deceiving. The display model is a $1,000 plague doctor mask of that design built with original materials as it was meant to look. Instead at this same pawn store, I got a Hua Wei tablet for about the same price as I would have paid for the plague doctor mask. No bad, huh? It's not a designer car, but it's a designer tablet.
I wish to thank the government of Canada and the government of British Columbia for their immense generosity to me during these pandemic times as well as for years past. How could anyone protest against the government of Canada? They are very kind. I don't get money for my cartoons and writings? Bullshit! The government paid me lots. I'm making a plague doctor cartoon to thank the medical profession. But would they care? Who knows.
Vancouver and COVID 19. VanCOVID. Actually, that's one of the best cities anywhere. I hope they're doing and and that there aren't too many cases there. I hope there are no cases there at all, but the reality turns out to be different than the ideal. Vancouver is a city that has a lot of smart people. The average IQ in Vancouver is 123 IQ points.
I'm baffled that I'm still alive, that I haven't died of coronavirus yet. I'm coronabaffled. I'm half expecting that I won't make it out of this alive and I'm fine with that. My life is going nowhere anyways.
The city is quieter. Pandemic relief. I now have more of a chance of dying in my sleep if it's a quick advanced case of coronavirus. The worse the case, the quicker the death. What's not to like? With it being quieter and slower, and with the air being cleaner, this town is now just like it was in the 1950s! I was never thriving. I was only merely surviving. I reject the notion that I have anything to live for. I was only going through the motions. If I get coronavirus I hope I die quick. You think I'm bluffing... Why don't you send me some heroin or Dilaudid? We'll find out together whether or not I'm bluffing. When this is over, I'm moving out of this town unless I die in the meantime. Either way, I'd be leaving this town.
I wouldn't care if the angel of death visits me wearing a fancy jacket of yellow spikes with flecks of red, green, and splotchy grey. It would say, "This is my coronavirus jacket. See how magnificent it is? It's part of a new line!" I would then reply, "Seeing a jacket like that is worth dying for! Take me with you! I got nothing better to do. My life is going nowhere anyways,"
I don't care if I die from coronavirus because I have nothing really promising, nothing really solid to live for. My life is the shits and I absolutely don't care whatsoever if I die. In fact, I'm baffled that I'm still alive now. This is a dire global pandemic. Would not the odds be that I'd have been dead already? Very strange.
Don't get me wrong. I'll do the utmost to follow pandemic measures. I'd certainly give it the old college try. However if despite my best efforts I nevertheless am vanquished from the pestilence, at this point, I really don't care. I'm ready to lean into the strike zone and take one for the team! It's the Elizabeth Kubler Ross stage of acceptance that I've reached. But if you're at a point in your life where the name of EKR would pop up in the mind like in an MTV pop up video, then you may not be at the optimal point in life. "That's life!" Tommy Wiseau
I think I'm a goner.
In Aeon Flux, a virus kills 99% of the World's population. With coronavirus, 99% of the population will wind up surviving.
I've noticed that stores have returned to giving people plastic bags again. Would it be a disdain for Greta Thunberg's environmental ideas or would it be that aside from bisphenol A, plastic bags are made from lysine, which is made from corn and is biodegradable.
There's nothing like energy drinks during a global pandemic. I'm fucking rushing! It really brings out the panic attack. I'm glad YouTube never paid me a lot of money. YouTube is very spiritual. The people in the film industry from the actors to the studio executives are all very spiritual. Success can be more difficult than failure. A lot of money usually brings people trouble. It attracts scammers and gold diggers. Plus if you don't hire an accountant you can be charged with tax evasion. The people who get money on YouTube are already rich or are from the upper classes. Their parents trained them how to handle large sums of money. A large sum of money is a force that has a life of its own. Giving someone a lot of money is like giving a chimpanzee a machine gun in most cases. I don't want a lot of money. I just want enough to live on which the government gives me. I don't know if I should date outside my class. If I'm lower class, I shouldn't go for a middle class lady even though she seems to go enough for me......
Money brings problems. From largesse of my pandemic relief, I got a few more $5 packs of smokes than I usually would have. Even during a pandemic, just like during WW2, underground supply lines are flowing. Stress smoking. I usually rip off the filters to have filterless cigarettes. A filterless cigarette has more tobacco and a bigger aperture than a small hand rolled 'joint'style cigarette which is what I usually smoke. Result, a mild first degree burns on my gums on the upper palate. Talk about an embarrassment of riches! Smoke less and smoke only small rollies with less tobacco and a smaller aperture. I thought I had to get my tooth extracted. But it only hurts when I eat and only my gums. I use Listerine without alcohol and to make up for that I add a bit of 99% alcohol isopropyl into the mix. I swirl it around the gums being careful not to swallow any of it. That and time will heal my first degree burned gums. It's actually half of a first degree burn. It's not nearly as bad as a first degree burn. Dentists are closed. Most of them. I went to one that was open and with medical deductible, I still had to pay $75 for x-ray only or else $200 for x-ray and extraction of upper right front tooth. I'm going to the government welfare office tomorrow to ask about a dentist which doesn't charge an out of pocket fee. The government welfare office would know that. My usual dentist isn't open but I have notified him of the problem. Maybe I'll get a letter soon. I saw on my YouTube recommendations, Most amazing top 10s Most Scary Dentist Stories Part 2. Maybe my dentist's office secretary will notify me soon.
It hurts only when I eat. A sign was that last night I watched Police Story Lockdown starring Jackie Chan, "I'll be fine. It comes and goes." I saw that as a sign pertaining to my current dental problem or else perceived dental problem. I am bit of a hypochondriac though. Munchausen syndrome. I'm bad for that. Dental problems, mental problems, what's the difference?
One more thing. Directly related. I used to push down on a spot below my nose. A bone clicked and I likened it to cracking a knuckle, letting loose an air or liquid pocket. I thought I was nailing it! I thought I was hitting it out of the park! Turned out I was as clueless as usual. Do you see why I want to quit life with a heroin or preferably Dilaudid overdose like quitting a shitty job that never quite worked out for me? Anyways, turns out I wasn't popping a liquid pocket but instead was pushing my front tooth down even further and further like a dropped fully descended testicle. Everytime it reset, I would press down and click it again. See how my front tooth is descended? That wasn't good. I could have caused an abscess. Now I might have to see about extracting it.
There are places that have reluctantly refused to lockdown. The lockdown won't end until we wait for the stragglers to catch up. But this would be on National levels rather than International because all international borders are closed. Maybe some protesters* go there and then the clampdown happens. Trapped like rats in a cage. That's how the game of goh works. This is delusional bullshit. Write as if no one is reading and from the view counter, that seems to be the case. This is a journal, something that a forensic psychiatrist would read. Again, the mind involuntarily jumps to conspiracy theories. "Stop chasing the mice running around in your head." Munich. Conspiracy theories are just that. Entertainment. In moments of crisis, the mind can Walter J Mitty the situation and imagine an alternate scenario. Clearly this is a global pandemic and not martial law!
*Or protest leaders. "At the head of every organization is a white guy making lots of money." Chris Tucker, Rush Hour
Case in point Sweden isn't locking down. Sweden has a reputation of being industriously and fastidiously immaculate if Ikea is any indicator. Curious that they aren't taking this health crisis with the same pace of caution as anywhere else. They are medical experts. They give out Nobel Prizes for Medicine every year! Goddamned conspiracy theory. Following the sublimated martial law scenario I had already written, how in martial law they go after the most major players last, this is about G. Time Magazine Person of the Year T. herself. Or the people in that organization they felt were most pivotal and most potentially prone to influences from egregious sources. And their upcoming temporary destiny is to be locked down while the rest of the World has the pandemic lifted. With the resultant strict closure of National borders temporarily. I think being locked down while most other parts of the World were locked down is a worse experience. That kind of hush all over the world is more intense. Or else since this was always about them and they were the ones to be preferentially protected, maybe Sweden will never lock down, ever. The World was never in complete lockdown. At any given moment during all this, some places in the World weren't in lockdown. A week after my town started the lockdown, there was News that Wuhan was slowly opening up again after 3 months of lockdown.
Global pandemic. G.P..
