January 2024

Monday, January 1, 2024

Thank God for the gift of life. The Lord is my shepherd. 

As the year starts, I'm think of moving to another town. The problem is, all towns are just as hopeless and futureless as this one is. Any other town in this Province is a backwater and going there would be taking a step backwards.

London is a sprawling metropolis. No beaches. 

Vancouver would, after awhile be a regression. Although Vancouver is a rock show Tron future world compared to this town. I doubt I could afford any place decent to live in Vancouver. I talked to a few people in town and none of them, not a one said that they thought I'd be living in a tent. Some of these people are middle class and not only welfare people who also didn't think I'd wind up living in a tent.

Today I envied those who died young. I wish that I died young. 

If I were to leave town there is no one in this town whom I'd miss. If I were to die, there is no one in the World whom I'd want to stay alive for to spend more time with them. 

The News reported about some incident in Dawson Creek, someone got done in and the Police are seeking the public's assistance. Including the public who live in the local News viewing area of Vancouver and Victoria which is 1,500 miles away from Dawson Creek. Their assistance?! Like people in Vancouver or Victoria would know about that?! That's bizarre and is part of the sensationalist long narrow telescopic lens and agenda driven narrative of the News and their bizarre broadcasting patterns. 

Consider the source. The News reports about all kinds of weird stories about all kinds of weird people and places. It's what they do. It's all they do. 

Dawson Creek is a blithering blinding backwater like Heather is a blithering blinding retard. 98.9% of people living in Vancouver and Victoria have never even heard of Dawson Creek and I doubt that they would actually want to. 

If you've travelled to towns like Toronto, LA, New York, Bangkok, and Vancouver, if you ever went to Dawson Creek and towns like it you would think that you had taken a few steps backwards. 

In the past I prayed to God that I wouldn't see certain people ever again. I did see them a few times after my prayer, but every time I prayed to God that I wouldn't see someone ever again, it worked. I eventually actually never saw them again. Ever. It's almost scary but not quite. Not scary. Good. I'm glad I never saw them ever again. 

Be careful what you wish for. In some cases, they died, but I don't care that they died. I'm just glad that I don't have to see them ever again. 

Last time, Suzie said something like, "I'll see you next week!" I said "Sure! See you next week." But when I said that I rolled my eyes and looked to the left with a sour and evil look. I wonder if Suzie noticed that. She might have. Either way, I don't care. 

I don't ever place expectations on Suzie to be anywhere. Why does she place expectations on me to be anywhere?! One time, she said to me, "I'd like to see you visit every single week." I confronted her on that. She then said, "Whatever makes you comfortable." 

Overall, I wish I had never met Suzie. My life would be better off if I had never met her. 

This is where I ask God to cleanse my mind and heart. Anger. Jesus didn't go around angry all the time. 

Why do I have to be afraid or angry all the time. Why must life always feel so troublesome? Why must life always feel like Gasoline Alley? Gasoline Alley is a sordid picaresque saturated with trouble energy. Life being as defective as ever is always gasoline alley. I thought it'd get better a few decades later but it never does. That's why I wish I had died years ago. Life is a waste of time and energy. 

Life is defective because life has entropy. Therefore living life is counterproductive and a waste of time. 

"Watch your heart, father." SCTV Christmas special, It's A Wonderful Film

I ask anyone who is in a prayer circle to pray for me so that God can cleanse my heart as well as my mind. My heart is errant and so is my mind. I wish for restoration. I hope that God can cleanse my heart as well as my mind. 

Those vapes bring about a Gasoline Alley level of paranoia. I'm scared to use them now. If the Police knows that a person is using cannabis vapes, would that ruin their standing with the Law Enforcement Community? In this day and age, I imagine all kinds of substances are being used. 

THC molecules cling to endocannabinoid receptors in the amygdala hence the paranoia. 

Wednesday, January 3, 2024

Went to Murchies with a friend from Church. 

I lost my badger hair shaving brush. I had this brush for nearly 30 years. I'm not that distracted that I'd throw it in the garbage. I hope to find it. 

Friday, January 5, 2024

On Tuesday, I found a longboard near Craigdarroch castle. I had a large skateboard before but didn't use it. I found that skateboard too. But the was a long oval skateboard. The longboard tilts on either side. I practiced dancing on it. 

The other skateboard that I had was a cruiser. I thought that perhaps I should have kept it. But the cruiser doesn't have the same feel as a longboard at all. The longboard feels like an extension of my body. 

Had I not given away the cruiser, in a micro level, that would have affected the chain of events and perhaps I wouldn't have found the longboard. I realize that. 

A really smoking song is Charmed from Eztella and Redinho. I heard the song on a longboarding video. 

Chase Hiller is a demi God when it comes to longboarding. He's better than Ben Stiller. He does these epic videos longboarding down very long mountain roads. He's like the Silver Surfer. 

I need to get longboarding gloves and a helmet too. 

Taking my time to do the cartoon. Some scenes take two days or more. Just to design and draw the background then to animate the characters and whatever multiple movements are in the scene. 

A YouTube video said that longboarders are looked down on from the skateboard community. Someone on comments said it was toxic to separate the two communities. 

Skateboarders excel on tricks, ollies, etc Longboarders excel on distance and speed. 

It would take at least two to five years to be as good as Chase Hiller. 

Chase Hiller. Is that a stage name? As in chasing hills? If not then his parents were indeed prescient when they named him. 

Sunday, January 7, 2024

Still doing the cartoon. I revealed the first plot twist which should give a surge Of pride for the forces of light and good as real Police Officers showed up at the bank. 

Four more scenes and then the cartoon ends. I'm not planning to do an extended edition of Lord of the Rings 9 hour cartoon here. Four scenes. Then the end credits and then the post credits scenes. 

So many details. So much OCD is required to do an animated cartoon because of all the details that have to line up. 

The word God is probably an onamatopeia which is a words that duplicates a sound. God, Yahweh, El, Allah all sound like the huge roaring whoosh of the Universe, a sound that on a microscopic level is like listening to a seashell. 

Planets make sounds. NASA discovered that. Black holes and galaxies all make sounds too. The entire Universe is probably a huge tuning fork that emits one loud roaring whoosh. Rooaaarrrr whooooooom, God. 

I've seen some major things in dreams. Angels that glow from the inside, dead Royalty, grey aliens, Jesus. Me and millions of other people have had strange dreams and I very much doubt that I set the World's record for the strangest dreams that anyone has ever had. So. 

But God is quite a few million, trillion, levels and more beyond that. 

One would be flattered if the head of State of their country or any country or Royalty knew them. God is so many levels beyond that and knows each of us personally. That more people aren't overwhelmed appreciating the scale of that. 

Mel Gibson. William Wallace was a brave heart. But he wasn't the Braveheart. The real Braveheart was Robert the Bruce. His heart was carried in a wooden box into bsttle to inspire the troops. 

I wonder about the scientic details. A heart in a wooden box a few hundred years ago wouldn't have lasted long. Decomposition and a bad smell would soon set in. 

A couple of days ago, a side door on a plane was torn off in mid flight. I wonder about the scientific details. A plane flies higher than Mount Everest. Thin oxygen, anoxia. And the temperature at that height, it's cold enough on the top of Mount Everest. Wind chill would make it colder. And Mount Everest isn't flying at 550 miles an hour. 

The door flew out 8 minutes into the flight. They hadn't reached full altitude. And no one was sitting at the seat next to the door or they might have flown out. That was the hand of God that no one was seated there. The airplane was an Alaska Airlines Boeing 737. That plane didn't get recalled as there were no safety issues on any of the other planes. 

If that happened when the plane was at the flyover zone above the clouds, a few people would have died. 

Twilight Zone. Did a gremlin rip out that plane door? Gremlins.... 

Airplane fighter pilots during World War 2 said they saw gremlins. Not just one pilot. Quite a few of them. Did anyone on that plane see a gremlin? Maybe they did but the news covered it up. 

Skimpflation. 

In one of the videos on the channel Evil Food Supply, Jake Tran of YouTube said that if a product uses the words with meat, it only has to have 3% meat in the product. If the words used are meat flavored, it doesn't have to use any meat at all. 

Suzannah Lipscomb said in a video about Things in Victorian Homes That Killed, milk used to go sour because milk has uh, acidophilus. Victorian milk companies used to add the alkali borax in milk to balance the pH level to make it last longer. One eventually was drinking sour milk that didn't taste sour because of the borax additive with horrible results. 

Food adulterants or adulterated food has been an issue for quite awhile. 

It's a bad slet up resulting in an awful scene for food culture in any society. The human species. It's the usual artificial scarcity, price fixing, profiteering. 

"I don't know which is worse, Burke. At least you don't see them screwing themselves over for a g****** percentage." Aliens 

Which is why I don't know if the egregious pernicious perfidious human species will still be around in 200 years. We'll, one bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch girl. Give it one more chance before you give up on love as Michael Jackson said. 

Suzanne Giesmann talked to a psychiatrist named Marci Shimoff. The psychiatrist said, 

When people experience a new thrill like a new house, new car, wedding honeymoon, that high only lasts for about two weeks and then they return to a baseline of happiness. 

The same with experiencing trauma. When the trauma is over, the body will automatically return to a baseline of happiness. 

This baseline can be increased with gratitude towards life. 

As well, the mind has all kinds of thoughts and not to judge yourself. The negativity bias is that negative things stand out more which is a vestigial instinct from the Neanderthal era that was used for self protection. 

And so the mind will sometimes lash out. As soon as the psychiatrist said these words, Suzanne Giesmann closed her eyes and nodded understandingly like how Justin Trudeau did during a 2023 New Years Eve interview when Rosemary Barton said that many Canadians are worried about inflation and the housing crisis. Suzanne Giesmann was in the military and knows how people can lash out in their minds sometimes. 

Monday, January 8, 2024

This morning, I bought a Yellowstone calendar. 

Today Heather visited me. She took me to Subway. I felt very loving towards her. Better to be poor and have love than to be rich and have no love. 

On YouTube, someone who took some toad based DMT called Bufo or Sapo is 200 times more powerful than DMT. It's an animal based DMT rather than plant based. 

The psychonaut said that he saw that the Universe is a jigsaw puzzle of trillions of pieces and all the pieces for together. Everything is where it should be. 

That makes complete sense. 

The hippies said that All is one. Everything is interconnected. Every atom is connected to all other atoms either directly or through six degrees of separation. And time travel is time experienced on an objective level since everything is happening at the same time on a quantum level and subjective perception of time is an illusion. Since all that registers then what the DMT tripper said sounds cogent. 

God is the God who works not only down to the atomic level but also the subatomic level and there's another level past the subatomic level made up of quirks, quarks, charm, magic, gluons, leptons, etc. God owns it all. 

Scientists estimated that there are 10 to the 75 power number of atoms in the Universe. How many subatomic particles such as neutrons, protons and electrons and how many sub sub atomic particles such as quarks, leptons etc? No one knows but the answer would be = quite a lot. 

I need to see a sign that the human species won't end in 200 years. That the human species could last for another 100,000 years at least, potentially. Although what that would look like would be mind-blowing and unimaginable. 

Tuesday, January 9, 2024

At Church, there is an old man who is still after all these weeks, months, still talking to me about me doing some project, like illustrating a children's book. I told him I wasn't interested. He said he wouldn't talk to me about it again but he still does. 

And for weeks, months, he said he couldn't find my cartoons on YouTube. That's really weird blocked energy. It's not rocket science. Especially when I walked him through it many times. This is the name of my YouTube channel, this is the name of at least one of my videos. 

I have to quit going to that Church for awhile. 

This has been the wrong town for me. Hardly anyone mentions my cartoons. 

Stanley Kubrick talked about that. When he lived in the States and he told people that his film projects were going well, they seemed upset of disappointed that they resented that he was going somewhere. Small minded people. 

When Kubrick moved to England, and he told people about his films, people were happy for him and wanted him to be successful. Big minded people. 

I don't have any friends who are talented cartoon animators. 

This old man looks disturbingly old. He has a mottled gristled moribund decrepit look about him. 

Before people die of old age, they have two looks. First it's old tree. Then they look like an old prune. 

Prince Philip had the look of an old prune when he was photographed driving the Land Rover at night. Someone on YouTube comments said, "My old grandpappy looked like that before he died."

People work in patterns. That old man probably talks to other people like that. He said he used to live in Vancouver and he knows Vancouver well. 

When I talk to him I think it might be an omen that I will go to Vancouver again one day. 

It's the weird blocked energy. I can't find your videos on YouTube. So weird. 

I asked him if he was married, to a wife. He said that he was but seemed upset to be asked that. That's because probably his wife died years ago. 

I asked him that because I got these paranoid ideas that this might be some weird gay thing where he wants to invite me to his place and then attempt some gay come on. Or else try to kill me. 

He said he wanted me to bring my drawings or art to Church so he could look at them. "Let me show you my etchings." or let me see your etchings is the old fashioned line which is a come on. He wants to see my drawings. That seems kind of queer to me. Especially when anyone can look up a website after you've given them the specific name of the website. So weird. Weird energy. Weird shit. Better to do without it altogether. 

This is not the first time I thought someone at that Church might be queer. I thought this about someone else and it turned out that he wasn't queer at all. 

At this point I don't think he will ever get off my case about this. 

Given how he looks and I'm not a medical doctor, but I wouldn't be surprised if he died in less than 5 years, perhaps less than 1 year. 

I thought this before of someone. In one case, this person is still alive 10 years later although ten years ago I would have described this person as "death warmed over". Nope. Still alive although the appearance is still more or less the same, no better, no worse. 

This will resolve itself. Every so called problem I ever had at Church resolved itself. Kind David said, I lived a long time and have always seen the righteous delivered from their problems. 

Mark Tawin said, As an old man I have had many troubles, very few of which actually happened. 

Or else 95% of the things you worry about won't happen. 

Afterwards, on Sunday January 7, he said, "I understand why you asked if I was married. Don't worry about anything." He seemed very genuine ad he was very gentle when he said that. I mostly trust that person but my paranoid mind being what it is. 

Truth is stranger than fiction. Also at Church on Sunday, a new parishioner arrived at Church. He seemed athletic, white guy with dark brown beard but also bald headed. He was wearing a grey trench coat. 

My imagination told me that he was an undercover cop there to check me out or to size me up because of my latest cartoon which is about the Police. 

Don't ever lose that imagination. 

He asked me about the UBC sweatshirt that I wear everyday. 

"Did you go to UBC?" 

"No I didn't go there as a student. I visited UBC a lot."

"Oh, it's a souvenir."

This drew a parallel in my mind of my cartoon having to do with a person who impersonated a Police Officer. Would I be impersonating a UBC student? 

I don't think that Universities have any requirement for you to be actual alumni summa cum laude to purchase their merch. All they want is the money. I was thinking of getting a UVIC sweatshirt too. 

Although I didn't go to University, someone told me years ago that I easily have the equivalent of a Bachelor's Degree in terms of knowledge. 

I terms of knowledge or in terms of gaps in knowledge? A Bachelor's Degree is more comprehensive than being self taught. Bachelor's Degree gets into certain subtle specifics. You don't have to understand calculus, just take Theory of Mathematics where all you have to do is write essays. But it is quite the slog. You'd have to understand the associative, distributive and commutative principle of algebraic equations, etc etc. 

I love UBC intensely. It has such a vibe that to me, it is heaven heaven heaven. I love UBC beyond what even the best University words could ever express. 

I spoke with a very sweet lady from Church. She told me that the guy is from Iran which makes me even more worried. That's one of the countries Canada is worried about. Maybe he's a spy. 

That's the classic trope with people who are new. In the movie The Terminal, they thought that Victor Navorski might have been a spy or CIA sent to secretly inspect airport operations. 

I have nothing to worry about at Church. The Church has the Spirit of God. That spirit will help all worries. 

The lady from the Church was so sweet and alluring that she convinced me to stay as I called to tell her that I was thinking of leaving that Church just to spend Sundays at another Church. 

Some of the words she said made me feel all funny inside. 

Today I stood on one leg for the first time on my longboard. I didn't notice before but a YouTube video told me that as one leans to one side, the truck on the longboard actually turns left or right depending on. 

The longboard is totally molecular integration and multicellular cohesion. The longboard is Tron, the future. 

I thought I had to walk all the way to the beach as there is a long slight downhill run perfect for beginner longboarders. Turns out there's another run even closer which is at the Church up the hill. 

Wednesday, January 10, 2024

I've decided to stop going to the Church. 

That old guy is too weird. The first time, as I was leaving Church, he gets up from where he was sitting with a group of people and almost runs after me asking what I did for a living. I told him I do things on the computer. He then said that he need help with his Go Pro. It wasn't even about drawing pictures at all. Then when I told him I was a cartoon animator, no mention of the Go Pro. I told him I wasn't interested in doing anything like that. He said he wouldn't bother me about it anymore. But that's all he ever does week after week. Ask me about drawing and pictures and the project but then the blocked energy, he can't find my YouTube channel. 

I told a couple of ladies that I wasn't going to Church anymore. They told me to keep going but I'm not going to listen to them. I have a right not to go to any places with weird energy or weird personalities. 

Some people can't be talked to. Even cops can't get through to some people. You can't rationalize the irrational. 

Violence is the only language they understand. If he attacks me, I have ways to defend myself. 

He is never mean or verbally abusive, just relentless. A lot of personalities in this boring officious backwater nothing much else to do town are like that.  There's one guy in this building who's been mooching weed off another neighbour for years and years. This guy is a major mooch. Relentless mooching. 

And then just about every week, he parks himself next to me at coffee hour after Church like we're all buddy buddy. Yeah right. Weird scene. Weird shit. Better to just quit it. 

People work in patterns. I'm going to talk to the Pastor about it today. I'm telling him that I won't be going to the Church again for at least a year. 

Thursday, January 11, 2024

Still very worried about that old guy at Church. I'm going to avoid replace. Everyone else at Church tells me to go. 

The old man, Don is mostly mellow. I saw him once at Shoppers. I said hi to him and he to me and then he just walked away. He wasn't on my case that day. It was actually me who walked up to say hi. 

Often people don't plan even a minute in advance what they're going to say. 

The art project is something talked about before or is a touchstone which is a common point of reference. 

If I haven't gone to some place for awhile, and I see someone who used to go there, that place will be brought up in any brief conversation. That person knows that I know that they know that I probably won't go there again and they wouldn't be surprised if they didn't see me there again for awhile, yet that place is brought up in an awkward attempt to conjure up a subject as to broach a conversation. 

That old man is about 74 years old. My friend Mark Roy once said, "He does have 20 years on you. He was saying to respect elders and that due to their age, they might have an entirely different perspective on the situation than you do. 

Don. That name makes me think of the Thai movie Ong Bak when the lady said," Bak sut Don." It loses a little in translation but literally it means animal mouth Don. Figuratively it means that Don, in the movie, is a massive jerk. 

And my other fear. The fear that he is trying to make some kind of gay move. I got that from the movie Bullet Train when Channing Tatum said, "Is this a sex thing?" Some people have a strange imagination. 

I also thought that Don might be trying to kill me. He might try to lure me to his apartment and then stab me with a knife. Years ago, I told my friend Tora that I thought that Johnathon Parsons aka Johnathon Wild aka Ron Hogan was planning to stab me with a knife. Tora said, "Could you seriously picture Johnathon going around carrying a knife? No." 

I'm going to talk to the pastor about this and just say that I have to avoid going to the Church for awhile. 

All Churches are cults. You have to overlook the finer details or else you'll go crazy. With Presbyterianism, there is the elect. Only the elect can achieve salvation and Jesus died only for the elect, as per doctrine. I asked a Presbyterian about this and he said, "No one knows who the elect is. The thief who was next to Jesus on the cross and who asked Jesus to forgive him was one of the elect. The elect is a believer." That sounds like Buddhism. No one knows who the enlightened are. 

I also talked about the lattice of guilt and how Catholics get absolution when in Protestantism, there is no absolution. 

The Presbyterian said," Martin Luther said that no man can give absolution. Only God can. And in the middle ages that became a vector for indulgences, collecting money etc."

I'm sure the Catholics couldn't give a toss about Martin Luther. 

Catholicism is very interesting indeed. YouTube has lots of videos saying that over the years, a few Vatican bankers were forced to resign or else killed or disappeared or hung in public near a bridge. That's fodder for a conspiracy theory video. 

Despite the interesting increments within the doctrine, I'm still going to be a Presbyterian. I hope that this problem with Don resolves itself. Smokey Robinson said it's just my imagination running away with me. 

I had a feeling that this is going to be another paperchase that ends in nothing. Just like those times when I went to the walk in clinic once for what I thought were nasal polyps but healed itself eventually and then a cyst on my lower body which I thought might get elephantiasis and grow into the size of a smart car. That never happened either. 

I worry about Don but he might be a slightly absent minded old man who is bored and just looking for someone to talk to. No worry no danger. 

King David said, "I have lived a long time and never have I seen the righteous forsaken."

"Mamy are the afflictions of the righteous but the Lord delivers him out of the all."

"No weapon formed against you will prosper."

Joel Osteen said, "Don't think about how big your problem is. Think of how big your God is."

Ed Broadbent, former NDP Leader died. He was a major figure in Canadian politics. Canadian political royalty? Or is that an oxymoron?

2 weeks is a lifetime in politics. For Ed Broadbent, a lifetime is a lifetime in politics as he spent his entire 87 year life as a politician. 

It is a wonder that with that last name, he was still able to have a successful career in politics. 

Friday, January 12, 2024

The Pacific Fast Cat ferries are on sale salvaged feom the scrap yard and in presumably running order. Sale price $17 million each. Those ships were built in Gdansk Poland. 

The ships generated such a surf around it, called a wake that it disrupted boars and caused small tidal waves on the small piers of private homes. 

When the Israel Hamas war is over, Gaza will have a power vacuum, one that the PLO and Fatah will fight over. It would be interesting to see who wins in this case. Gaza could rebuild into something better architecturally. 

You see how the PLO and Fatah would have an interest in seeing Hamas defeated. 

YouTube videos say that Jesus was a stone mason rather than a carpenter since there wasn't that much wood there but lots of stone. 

The hardwoods are teak, cherry, mahogany. That region has a softwood called sandalwood. 

Anyways Gaza would mainly use stone to rebuild. Hopefully there are talented local architects who could think out of the box. I wish them well. Islamic architecture is some of the most beautiful architecture in the World. Some of those Islamic mosques, the architecture is next level out of this World, from another World beautiful. 

I was thinking of going to Sidney on Sunday. I wonder about my future. Even though I'm thinking of going to Sidney BC, I still have fear of the future. 

Winding down to the last part of my cartoon. It's going to be crazy. I'm relieved that I haven't been taken to the mental hospital so it seems that my luck is holding out. 

The ideas that I had in my mind and wrote of my rears regarding, I already released most of them including the Police blimps and the crypto miner. That's crazy. 

There are a couple of more twists in the story that will be released in this final release installment. 

Saturday, January 13, 2024

I think of Emily Carr all the time. I wish I could have met her. 

This is my character Emily Carr on Hustle Castle. The costume suits the character and I think the real Emily Carr would like this look. 

Completed my cartoon. George Lucas said that he never saw Star Wars. What he meant was that what one person sees as one scene seamlessly and instantaneously blending into another, George Lucas sees as a two week break between that scene and the next one as the entire crew moves to another location. 

George Lucas also said that there is no such thing as a finished film. There are only projects walked away from. 

Some of the scenes took two days to draw. So many details. 

I still fear the future but the steampunk cartoon I completed today was once my future. So the future can be better than imagined. 

The weather is too cold to go to Sidney tomorrow. Everyone in the building is commenting about the weather so you know it's cold. 

Vaping cannabis products give a fearful feeling for about 15 minutes then it just dissipates. Fear is something that occurs often. The future is scary. Old age and then what next? Bafflingly, I have never been as fit as I am now. I do yoga every day and have been since mid June. Doing yoga helps with riding the longboard. I wonder if I'll ever ride the long board as good as the athletes on YouTube videos. The ride downhill down a road. Fast. 

One shouldn't fear death. Hollywood is 100% real. 

In the movie Where the Crawdads Sing, when the marsh girl was about to die, she saw her mother walking towards her. Her mother appeared young as she remembered her from childhood. In the movie Killers of the Flower Moon, when Molly's mother died, she saw a couple of shamans or else witch doctors she knew from childhood. 

I won't be doing any cartoons for awhile. They take up too much memory on the tabket. I have to get a new large storage tablet just for new cartoons. 

Rod Sterling, O Henry, Alfred Hitchcock and M Night Shyamalan are known for doing stories with twist endings. That's the best kind of story but if every movie ever made is a twist ending movie, that would be wretched. The variety of mostly normal stories but sometimes twist ending stories is best. 

I hope that Suzie calls me one day. She might but you never can tell. Suzie hasn't called me. Ergo she broke my heart. Again. What were the chances of that? 

Suzie has broken my heart lots of times. 

God is close to the broken hearted. Even if I feel that it doesn't bring me closer to God, it brings God closer to me and that's always a good thing. 

I don't know how much I actually care. She works at some place once a week. I haven't gone to visit there for the most part in over a year. When I go there, the next morning, I wake up feeling just wretched and awful like I regressed to some former bad and extraneous energy. But when I don't go there, the next morning I wake up feeling really good and really at peace. It feels a lot better to not go there than to go there. 

Even if she did call me I seriously doubt that I'd go to that grotto that she works at to visit her. 

That's intuition. If you meet someone and then when you leave them, you feel like you ran a marathon, that's not the person you really want to know. 

I don't blame Suzie for not calling me. This is some unresolved issue that won't be resolved until I move to another town. I don't want to move to any other towns. This town is it. 

Orwell once said that the British government was the worst government in the World except for all the others. 

I feel that this town is the worst town except for all the others. Maybe I'd have better luck in another town. But I don't know what that looks like. Would all of a sudden being on the hook for child support be better luck? I doubt it. Would getting a nice car and then getting into some car accident be better luck? 

Play stupid games win stupid prizes. 

Play Susan game win Susan prizes. 

Doing cartoons hasn't gotten me any women or made me any money but doing cartoons is an indirect way for any of that. 

To meet women, go on a dating site or go to a nightclub or bar. Church. Does it work? Perhaps. Seek first the kingdom of God then all things will be added to you. 

If you want to meet a lady, go to a massage parlour once a month for a $100 hand release. Within a couple years, you will have met quite a few women. 

A relationship with God should be first then finding a woman should be second to that. 

It isn't so simple. Meet a lady. Later on, the more you find out about her, one day you decide you don't like her and women are more difficult to get rid of than to find. The only way is to find another woman and that onky works most of the time and not all the time. 

Orwell said that love is work. Indeed having a girlfriend means money, restaurants, remember Valentine's Day, birthday, Christmas etc. 

A lot of guys in my hotel seem very happy being single. Even if I find a lady one day, that will mean two less single people in the World which already has millions of hard core singles who will never find someone and doesn't care at all if they find someone or not. 

Bangkok After Midnight. A Hundred Days, A Thousand Whores. 

That can be done. Ten women a day. 

The idea is that being the man, I don't have to finish ten times a day. Maybe up to 3 times a day but even thst would be pushing it. 3 times I have a happy ending and at least 7 times a day, I settle for giving the lady a happy ending or multiple happy ending as the case may be. 

A hundred women in a thousand days can give a man a nervous breakdown. Knowing what I know about women through decades of experience, women have a tendency to be imperious, bossy, nagging, play you off against other men, say things to make you feel depressed such as I have a hot tub, I have a car, I have a $10,000 exotic dog, basically I have this and you don't, narcissism, gaslighting, etc 

A girlfriend isn't always the great prize it appears to be. 

And to get money, the direct way is to invest in a bank stock portfolio long term deposit. The interest rate is greater but the money will be tied up for awhile. If one had a few million, even a few percent interest would be significant on a few million dollars. Tens of thousands of dollars a year which is enough to live on. 

Same with a million dollars. A million dollars tempts one to travel with the possibility of running into some extraneous BS situation that they wouldn't have run into if they didn't travel. Million dollars, higher tax bracket. 

I might get a BMW one day. I could write a short story about a man who when he was 18 years old, he bought a BMW model and built it using modelling glue and paint. The BMW was painted black. Then decades later he met a lady who had a BMW which reminded him of his dream. He felt that life was a jerk to present someone in his life who has something he once wanted just rubbing it in his face. He felt that life was being a jerk as usual to him to present him with this confounding visage which he felt to be a bad and extraneous energy jangle. 

One day, the lady is no longer in his life. She quits that job that she worked at where he used to go and see her. Years later he became successful in his field which included a visit to see Royalty in England. And then he got enough money and enough luck to find a refurbished 1980s BMW in an auto magazine and he bought it. It was then that he realized all those years he worried about with that lady and her BMW was actually an omen that he himself would one day get a BMW as life has lots of omens for all people. 

A car is another thing. Very expensive. High maintenance. More money spent every week on gas than on hash. Would you rather be smoking hash or pumping gas? It depends on the mindset. A lot of people think that any kind of narcotic drug is an anathema whereas paying for gas for a car is a normal sober thing. 

My friend at Church attends a Book Club. 

One book she recommended to me is The Diving Bell and The Butterfly. A paraplegic man blinks his eyes, once for each letter of the alphabet. Using that nictitating eyelid method, he was able to dictate an entire book which a secretary wrote for him. 

Most people have troubles in their life but very few people have troubles at that level. Yet that man showed a dignity and honor and faith that would put most able bodied people to shame. 

Another book is Peter Heller, Dog Stars. The book is about the end of the world plague. It's some kind of AIDS like plague and Mennonites feature in the book. It is a dystopian end of the World novel similar to The Last of Us. 

Sunday, January 14, 2024

Today I didn't go to Sidney BC. I went to the Chinese Presbyterian Church. The preacher there has powers. Every time I asked him to say a prayer for me it worked. From illness to one problem after another. I told him as much and he said, "It isn't me, its God."

Jesus was very spiritual. Others could look at a person or a couple who seems to be very successful and have rich things like nice cars or exotic dogs and feel some envy. 

But Jesus would look at anyone and see them as a child, as an adult, as someone who is old and as someone in the afterlife. While most people go through life having no idea of the procedures and manifestations of the afterlife, Jesus went through life knowing exactly those things. 

Kahlil Gibran wrote in his book Jesus the Son of Man

"Others love you for a beauty thst will fade

I love you for a beauty that even in old age as you look in a mirror,

This beauty will stare back at you." 

Or words to that effect. Anyways Jesus was intensely spiritual. 

The longboard I am getting to know. There is a balance point where the skateboard is neither resting to the left or right. I've been able to maintain that point for longer and longer periods of time. The feet always have to face forward on a longboard for downhill runs. For skatepark skateboarding the feet usually face to the side to do the flip kick moves. I want to be able to steer the longboard and one uses the ankles and not the knees. And to jump, flip the skateboard around with my feet and then land, I don't know if I'll ever be able to do that but I'd like to learn. 

When Julian Assange was locked up in the Ecuadorian embassy in Sweden, he learned skateboarding. Julian Assange hacked into government and military computers and released information. Snowden was an IT tech who worked exclusively with the NSA, he was a staff member. He used this insider position to leak government classified documents. Well they should have known that something like that would get them into serious trouble. 

I don't know what happened to them. I think Julian Assange got extradited to the US and is in a federal prison. I think Edward Snowden is still hiding somewhere in Russia. 

I live in a small room. Julian Assange had more room where he was hiding to move around a room on a skateboard. 

Another historical leak of documents was the Sykes Picot Agreement. Originally it was a secret. The the Russians changed government after the Revolution. The previous Sazaranov Agreement which was to accede land in the region to Russia wasn't honored because of the change in government. In anger, the Bolsheviks of Russia publicly leaked the Sykes Picot Agreement. It was then that Arabs learned that the British and the French who they were halping made another deal behind their back. 

Today I went to the cannabis store and got 1 vial of High THC banger. This has the highest THC at 96% maximum. The mango High THC has 94% THC max. Usually most vapes have up to 90% THC max. Then I got some Afghan hash. The hash is pricey and is sometihing that will eventually just destroy one's finances. It's a very bad habit that I have. 

Why did I go rogue and get the Hight THC Banger? What can I say? I'm a zoner. 

At another cannabis store, they have a vape that sells for as little as a $2 donation. These vapes are 33% CBD, 33% THC and 33% another kind of THC. There are about 12 kinds of THC. One is good for creativity. These vapes have a good flavor. The taste brings to my mind nostalgic wood panelled living rooms of old 1800s Victoria with lots of cushions and soft cloths and velvet and green plants in ceramic plant pots. Don't ever lose that imagination. 

This is crazy. The other day I lost a small plastic lid for one of my vape cartridges. Those things are notoriously easy to lose. I spent an hour looking for it. The Steampunk cartoon I did would have been completed an hour earlier if I want looking for the small plastic cover for the end of a vape cartridge. An hour earlier, an hour later, six of one is half a dozen of the other. It was at the time just before animating the fling ships for the cyberpunk city. I said to myself, "Do I draw the ships or do I look for the lid?" I chose to abandon the lid and to draw the ships. 

2:40 pm. I hear another Sunday Palestinian protest outside my window of my apartment in the inner city downtown. Another Sunday Palestinian protest. What were the chances of that? 

Isaac and Rebeccah were the parents of Jacob, whose wife was named Rachel and they were the parents of King David. King David would have had multiple wives. 

Rachel is the replicant in Blade Runner. 

Anything is a deal plus one. Any deal with yourself is a deal with yourself ad God. Any deal between two people say if a person ruins your reputation on the Internet in a chatroom, that is a deal between you, that person and God. If you haven't done the same thing to them and if you forgive them that's when God goes to work. Vengeance is mine saith the Lord. What you do to the least of them, you also do to me. What another person does to you, they also do to God. 

Pastor Joel Osten said, "We live in a microwave society but we serve a crockpot God." This means that sometimes God takes his time to work out the solution to our problems. 

I often have intrusive and unwanted thoughts even during my prayer time. This is a sacred time, don't think of a pink elephant. Snap! I've thought of a pink elephant. This happens all the time so much so I wonder if I'm demonically possessed. But I go to Church all the time. Those who are possessed can not approach any religious objects without feeling really sick.

 

I remember my vow:

Whether I am poor or whether I am rich and successful... 

Whether I am single or whether I am with a trophy wife... 

Whether I can achieve the level of sanity which is the peace that surpasses all understanding and 2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of fear but of courage and sound mind or whether my brain is just besotted, gutted and saturated with all kinds of profane intrusive and unwanted thoughts... 

I will always remember to give God thanks and credit and glory. 

It was not me who made the cartoon. It was God working through me. My talent in this lifetime is on loan from God. 

How can one believe in God? He is invisible. Consciousness. Consciousness is invisible. The body is visible but can one find or weigh a consciousness apart from the body? Our individual consciousness is a drop in the ocean of consciousness from where consciousness originates and that collective ocean of consciousness is God. 

"Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see." The Polar Express

Thank God for the gift of life. Even thank God for the cold weather because the cold weather does something restorative to the land. It braces the land like how the hedonistic Swedes go for a cold water shower after a sauna. It braces and refreshes the body and then they go back in the sauna again for awhile. 

Cooking noodles, the noodles pass through what the Chinese call the cold water river. This makes the noodles texture more defined. Then it's back in the boiling water for another half a second dunk. 

When a person dies, first they are in the warmth of life. Then their body goes through a cold phase of up to a couple of minutes where it feels really cold. This doesn't last long, not as long as a television ad and then then one is in the warmth of the afterlife either in the warmth of heaven or in the warmth of the flames of hell. 

I remember to thank God. In the Bible, God says, "My name is jealous." It loses somewhat in the translation. It means that God is vigilant of what is in the hearts of people. It is bad luck to mock God. I did it a couple of years ago and wound up with the worst case of exhaustion and burnout in my life. I haven't always been perfect. 

I don't think that God is really jealous. If I ever got a refurbished 80s BMW, I really don't think that God would be jealous of me, that kind of jealous. 

Nor am I perfect now. The other day, as I was looking for something I absently mindedly said, "God." The a second later, I said, "Damn." Then I said, "I'm sorry I said that, God. But that was two words, not one." 

Violence is the only language they understand. When a person uses these words, that's projection. That person doesn't have the verbal skills to tell a person to leave him alone but he thinks of martial arts and weapons all the time. A politician would have the verbal skills. Politicians talk with their hands and with their faces too. Facial expressions. 

Yet some people bother politicians all the time. They write politicians threatening letters all the time and show up to heckle the politician at places despite several warnings from the police whereupon the person usually denies doing anything wrong. They feel that they are within their rights. 

When a person says that, violence is the only language that they understand. 

As for myself, violence is the only language that I understand. You don't need to go to a kung fu store for weapons of specialized forms when you can go to a hardware store and get weapons of other specialized forms like a hammer with a claw, an axe, baseball bat, air gun, throwing knives are legal in Canada and martial arts stores and sporting goods stores have that. Throwing knives against a target painted on a board is a sport. 

Would I need a weapon against that guy at Church? I don't know. Never underestimate an opponent. Always overestimate them. This is the result of an acute and chronic delusional psychosis imagination which I have. 

Monday, January 15, 2024 

Yesterday, I saw the movie The Beekeeper. It was a great movie. The fight choreography is very sharp. But in real life could a person really defeat 100 people and not get injured or killed? 

Often when I stop going somewhere that I decided that I didn't want to go to anymore, I feel good and don't miss it at all. I don't have to be specific. This town, that town, this place, that place. Where ever. I just one day decided that that place or situation is a bad and extraneous energy jangle. BS details equal a BS situation. BS variables equals a BS equation. 

I decided to stop swearing as much as possible in my writings. Those words are overused that they're not that effective anymore. 

Forget the UN rather than f the UN

Or Catholics couldn't give a toss rather than Catholics could give a f. 

BS equations. 

In my cartoon when I wrote that Mr Austin Boston and Mr Gregory Harrison suffer from acute and chronic delusional psychosis, I think that's me. My thoughts are the thoughts of a person who is 100% perfect, normal and sane. Who would be normal and sane? A Priest who lives with Honor and integrity and who has strong faith in God is someone who is like that. 

Any job such as Police and politician are jobs where I think people are very normal sane and perfect. The high pressure social demands of such jobs require utmost perfection, sanity and normality, I would imagine. 

There has to be a vector for anything. Why wasn't I rich? Being on welfare won't make one rich. Doing videos on YouTube for the vast majority isn't a way to get rich. YouTube is a way to develop or add to your ongoing reputation through demonstrating the audacity to make a YouTube video. Any video if its intriguing enough will have people thinking about you. I remember quite a few talented performers on YouTube over the years be they musicians or psychics or Pastors. 

To be rich, one has to work hard.... Actually I don't know, otherwise I'd be rich, wouldn't I? That explains why I'm not rich. 

Why didn't I get married. Being on welfare, having a delusional outlook focusing on the negative, commitment issues is enough to do it. 

Do I have commitment issues? I seem to be looking at the same, porn videos over and over again. Does that indicate a lack of commitment issues or does it indicate attachment and separation identity and hoarding issues? 

My taste in porn. That's why I have to see a psychiatrist. This is the brain that I have to work with for the rest of my life? I think the porn I look at is off the beaten track therefore I have mental issues. Yeah, me and millions of others. 

Poor, never got married. I hope I meet the right lady one day. If I'm alone for life I might die of a broken heart except I have discernment. Having been around the block for 50 years, every woman is a two sided coin. Every rose has its thorn. Imperious, nagging, bossy, narcissism, gaslighting, takers, playing me off against other men, are all bad and extraneous energy jangles.

The Pastor at the Church who has the power of prayer said to me, 

"Lord, please help Dean to find the right lady. She won't be clean because we all make mistakes, but she must be strong in the faith to help strengthen his faith. We ask this in Jesus name, Amen." 

When he said that she won't be clean and has made mistakes, I heard that as code meaning that she won't be a virgin. I can work with that. Virginity is overrated anyways. 

Pastor Joel Osteen said to thank God that what you prayed for is on the way. Pray bold prayers. 

Why in Jesus name? Jesus said, "Verily verily I say unto you, No one can access the Father except through me." These words would be very portentous to Christians. 

Although people of other faiths couldn't give a toss about that. 

My tablet that I did the cartoons on is running out of memory. I need to get a tablet that will store my animation on an SD card and I'll need a 238 Gb memory card. That is a lot of memory for animated cartoons. A cartoon, project plus completed mp4 movie aversges about 200 Mb. In the old days, it would have taken a lot more memory. Computer programmers have developed new code that further parses down the storage space of video games, drawings, movie projects. With Moore's law, one day a 2 hour Hollywood movie will take only 1 Mb of storage space. That won't happen for another 20 years. 

In that time, society might revert to a steam punk like infrastructure. Not likely. 

Last night I downloaded the app Magic Chronicles Isekai RPG. I lucked out and got Joan of Arc Vatican Saint as a hero. I really lucked out getting that one. And I got the hero Julius Caesar as well. Julius Caesar, "You do not face me." Well, Julius Casear got done in. He didn't die a natural death. That's two different dynamics. 

According to the Book of Genesis, it was a woman who was initially tempted and took the first bite of the forbidden fruit. She then offered it to Adam. 

According to the mythology, because Adam didn't refuse the fruit, because he was so important that it all fell part then. If Adam had refused it and only Eve ate the fruit, then nothing would have happened. But since she was the one who was initially tempted, it spoke of the supposedly weaker nature of women. 

Do I believe that? As a figurative allegory perhaps. 

Men are important because they have the X and Y chromosome whereas women only have the Y chromosome. The sperm and the egg are each haploid cells containing a gamete. Two gametes together for a zygote which is a dihaploid cell. The male X plus the female X results in a female. The male Y plus the remake X results in a male. Perhaps that was why men were seen as more important. Men and women are equally important for different reasons. 

The Bible says the Earth is ten thousand years old and in the first week, man was created. That's 8,000 BC and the Garden of Eden was supposedly at the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers or else somewhere in Turkiye. 

The archeological site called Gobekli Tepli is dated to be about 12,000 BC or thereabouts. 

Carbon dating is an empirical method that dates dinosaur bones which are over 65 million years old. 

Tracing mitochondrial DNA which is a haploid cell that only a mother can pass on to her son and daughter but only the daughter can pass on that gene. Mitochondrial DNA traces back to Lucy the Ape in Africa and not Adam and Eve. Mitochondrial DNA is an unbroken line of DNA between mothers and daughters of all generations. 

Between even a troop of 50 chimpanzees, there is a 1.5% genetic differences. However between the entire human species, there is a genetic difference of 0.1%. It is this preciseness with human genetics matched with the impreciseness of the chimps genetic differences that helps pinpoint to Lucy.*

Women certainly don't have a weaker character. Any job, you name it, politician, priest, soldier, Police, astronaut, some woman can do some of these jobs in which a lot of men couldn't do any of those jobs. 

There are genes for things like hair, height, etc. The differences within these genes are called alleles such as the gene for hair would have alleles as to whether it's red hair or blknde hair or black hair etc. These alleles change over time and generations. This is called genetic drift. 

Over generations entire families can take on different looks. 

*source: The Why Files - Humans VS Spuperhumans. YouTube 

In this video, the host A. J. Gentile told a story about a group of cro magnon homo sapiens settled along a river bank. Then at night, noises and grunts from the forest. Then large Neanderthals appeared. Screams all around and lots of women's screams going distant as they were taken away to be eventually cannibalized. You get the idea. That's a scary story but then I thought, is that worse than what cro magnon homo sapiens aka humans did to one another over the centuries? What about Poland being invaded in 1939? What about dropping atom bombs on cities? Human trafficking? Slavery? Missiles hitting buildings where people live? It's all ghastly and wretched. 

I saw the 1983 movie called Cocaine One Man's Seduction. Cocaine is an awful drug, just awful. Coca leaf tea is the natural 1x amount that one can reasonably ingest. Cocaine amps the coca leaf of one truck load and fits that into a small teacup. 10,000x. That's overkill. That's insane. 

The economic dynamics are totally different. In 1983, minimum wage was $5 an hour and cocaine was $300 a gram. One would have to work 60 hours for a gram of cocaine. 

Today, minimum wage is about $17 an hour and the price of cocaine has dropped to about $100 a gram which prorated, would be about 6 hours of work. 

So doing cocaine isn't as serious today as it was back then. There was no legal to carry 2 and a half grams like there is today. 

The best way to do cocaine is not at all. Avoid it. It isn't worth it. The part that's worth any money is gone in a few minutes at most leaving one with depression. 

Cocaine works on the sympathetic nervous system. A supercharge of dopamine floods the brain. This dopamine soon reaches its half life and then becomes epinephrine aka adrenaline which produces cortisol which means pain and painful feelings. Not good. Best to avoid it. Cannabis is a more user friendly substance. 

I couldn't imagine if they ever made cocaine vape pens. It probably already has been invented but the government is sitting on that patent. Well, the effect on society if that was ever released would be, let's say unimaginable. 

Someone on Twitter named Kevin Sabet said, "A new cocaine e cigarette has been invented to help people struggling with addiction. What could go wrong?" 

What could go wrong indeed? 

This is YouTuber Emily Hopkins smoking the world's biggest vape.... Nope. She even says it herself. It's not a vape pen. It's a tuning device for musical instruments. 

A lot of burst pipes over the cold snap. To prevent this leave the water running in the tap even if just a little. 

Tuesday, January 16, 2024

Today on the News I saw a BSOD. Blue screen if death. Not good. Death omen. Turns out that someone in my hotel named George who lived downstairs died today. Today. 

I walked around. I saw my friend from Church. Total meth head. She was holding her meth pipe as if it wasn't obvious enough. She said that she was on the streets for awhile because things are too rough st home. She said she wanted to meet a friend but no one with any fetishes as she doesn't want any fetiah people. 

That was rather edgy. A steampunk world makes allowances for the edgy. 

I thought she was talking about me because I have fetishes. 

I thought of the perfect comeback hours later. "There are fetishes and there are fetishes. Which is it? Whatever floats my boat." 

The meth pipe symbolized the forbidden fruit and she was supposed to be like Eve. 

I hope that God looks out for her and protects her. 

Booze is one level. Weed is another level. Cocaine and heroin is on another level up from weed and meth and fentanyl is on another level up from cocaine and heroin. 

Never play cards with a man named Doc. 

Never date a woman with worse problems than you. 

Never date a woman with worse drug problems than you. 

"Paracetamol which I got from my mother who in her own domestic and socially acceptable way was also a drug addict." Trainspotting

Coffee, cigarettes, the weekly round of booze and aspirin for the hangovers is one level of drug addict but one that is legal and socially accepted. 

Today I connected my air pods pro to my iPhone for the first time. I found the air pod pros on the street months ago perhaps as early as two years ago. They work great and the sound is better than I expected. Often the future can be better than I imagine. I never imagjned that something like that would happen. 

I looked online. The air pod pro cost over $300 on Amazon. That's more expensive than my $70 Sony headphones which I had for over 2 years. 

I have an idea for the next cartoon. Cyberpunk Police. I have a story in mind with a twist ending. Some ideas for images. Now I need a sign. Do any of you want me to do it? Make the cartoon. I need a sign that anyone is reading this. If I see some signs then I'll do it. If not, not. 

Wednesday, January 17, 2024

Today I had the most awful stomach ache. It wasn't the got punched in the guts feeling kind of stomach ache. It was gas and not having fully gone to the washroom. And I had to go on a walk to go shopping. 

After eating and drinking to put new food in and get the digestion going, I meditated to release the gas. Meditation if done right, releases the gases in the form of soft burps. Then I went the washroom again and I feel better now. 

Today I had my first smoke of tobacco flavored vape. I went with Stlth 1K mango ice vape. I tell you. You really feel the nicotine. 

Vapes can help one quit tobacco. It's the obsession and fixation with certain specific artifacts being rolling papers and paper based cigarettes. When one is smoking a vape, they are smoking a cigarette but on the other hand, they're not smoking a cigarette. One cancels the other out and soon you reach a point where you're neither really smoking a cigarette nor vaping if you alternate between the two mediums. Then one drops and quits cigarettes altogether. 

A television ad says that one doesn't notice the future. It sneaks up on them until one day they're using air pod pros and watching a video on an iPhone and smoking cannabis and tobacco e cigarettes and riding a longboard and using a tablet to play apps. This happened to me. Ten years ago I was doing none of these things. 

The director of The Lobster directed a new movie called Poor Things starring Emma Stone who is a great actress. She was good in the movie Birdman. She said that people don't really care after they watch a play. The plays aren't targeted to normal people but aristocratic people who might talk about it during coffee after seeing the play. 

The premise is that Wilem Dafoe revives a woman who died. She was pregnant when she died. He puts the baby's brain into her brain. And it goes from there. 

"Birdman 4?! Oh you do Birdman 4!!" Birdman 

I got the app Yes Your Highness and got the character Joan of Arc. 

Thursday, January 18, 2024 

My Moon Rocks rolling tray from Sidney BC. Isn't it nice or what? 

Today I went to Sidney BC. The whole story. 

I went back home the first time because I forgot my portable charger. But I brought the wrong cord and what's more it was broken. The cord was for an Apple IPhone which I brought as well. I have an iPhone 7. 

When I arrived st Sidney, the first thing I got was a charger cord for $5. Don't worry if you forget something minor like a nail clipper or rolling papers or ear plugs. You can always get that in the town you are travelling to. 

Then I went to Bud's Cannabis and got a Blueberry Chemdawg Hash Rosin vape cartridge and a moon rock. And I got a moon rock rolling tray with a picture of an alien on it. 

I thought aliens was a classified secret. I'm surprised the government allows the release of so many aliens. Are aliens real or not? Aliens are a mythological thing like unicorns. 

Then I went to fairway market and got some lamb chunks, some fish paste balls and two rice wraps wrapped in some kind of leaves. 

Then I went home. I didn't go to a restaurant in Sidney because I didn't feel peckish at the time, I was anxious to get home because it was very snowy today weather wise, my hands were full and I wanted to save money because I'm on a budget. 

On the way home, I figured out how to connect the iPhone to the internet without needing WiFi at the same spot on the highway that on the last trip to Sidney, on the way home, someone sat next to me on the bus as all the other seats were full. He pulled out an iPhone and it was connected to the internet. 

On the way to Sidney today, I had my cell phone set to Wi fi only and didn't press that button in settings which connects it to the internet. I only found out how to do that on the way home. 

The first thing I did was to watch Never Cry Wolf on Tubi. Then I watched some of a Pastor Joel Osteen sermon. And I saw a Debbie Hellion video about her being at London Drugs. Then I turned off the phone. My phone only allows 50gB a month of internet data without WiFi. YouTube videos burn through a lot of bandwidth and data usage rate. It was worth it to see Debbie Hellion while riding a bus on the highway. 

I'm going to wait some time before doing the next cartoon. I fully have a story with twist ending in mind. Stanley Kubrick usually waited some time in between movies. Question is, does anybody know or care about that? Cyberpunk Police. 

A woman falls out of a window of a typically high 500 storey cyberpunk building. There is a shot of a woman looking reflectively out of a window pastiched next to a scene of her falling. "This is her story." I have to say this is her story. What am I going to say? This is my story? I'll have to hire a female to do the voice for that or look for an AI speech generator app somewhere. Then the voice in the cartoon would say, "This is my story." 

Yeah. Right. Her story. She was married to a husband who was cheating on her. One day the husband has a murderous rage hence the woman's flight of Icarus out of a 470 storey cyberpunk building window. Police get involved. That's all I'll reveal. 

I still have to think about this for a few days. I need to see signs that anybody would want to see something like that. 

Cyberpunk world. 

Vape cartridge review. 

Tiger Blood - a very sweet candy like taste and good strong almost overwhelming effect. 

Tahoe OG Kush - a very natural weed like taste and good effect. Comfortable not overwhelming yet strong. 

High THC Banger - Clocked at 96% THC when most vapes are already at 90% THC, the extra effect isn't noticeable. This vape has a very deep husky smoky taste. 

1:1 THC:CBD - this is only obtained at harm reduction cannabis outlets where to be a member, one has to sign a form admitting to previous hard drug use. I used to shoot heroine and/or cocaine for a couple of years during the 90s when I lived in the downtown eastside. I had no problem admitting to that. Cocaine I ravenous is the ultimate hit. However the part that's worth any money is suddenly gone in less than two minutes leading to extreme paranoia, nervous psychosis involving the sympathetic nervous system etc 

Blueberry Chemdawg hash rosin vape cartridge - hash rosin is special. I gave it a British go. A few British goes. Good noticeable blueberry flavor. The presence of the hash rosin is detectable and after two or three vapes, I couldn't move for a couple of minutes. Good thing I was sitting down in my apartment. 

THC Diamonds vape Cool Cherry - a genuine sativa vape. All other vapes listed above are indica except for Tahoe Kush which is hybrid between indica and sativa. The sativa vape with diamonds effect is noticeable. 

I spy with my little eye. There are a few varieties but I saw a vape made with THC diamonds. THC diamonds is made with an extraction process where you have to be like Heisenberg Walter White with a University degree in chemistry to understand. 

Vape with THC diamonds? These kind of vapes are available in Sidney BC and in Victoria BC as well. 

There's diamonds and sauce. Diamonds and sauce for together during the process. There needs to be a separate process to separate diamonds from sauce. 

Rosin, shatter, diamonds, sauce, is like G-13 in American Beauty. That was an omen that there would be more potent chemically prepared THC and cannabis. 

The moon rock smokes really good. Really good. Moon rocks is like of like finger hash. Very strong rich pungent thick smoke which is a blast for cannabis connoisseurs who like the very best. 

It was vitamin E acetate in THC vapes that were causing deaths. THC vapes no longer have that. 

All vapes have propylene glycol which is stage smoke which acts as a carrier, and glycerol. Propylene glycol carries the active chemical to the back of the throat and gives the throat a slight harsh feeling. Glycerol when exhaled is what produces the vaporous smoke. 

Friday, January 19, 2024

Today I got the THC Diamonds vape. 

Vapes are a chemical mixed with lots of chemicals. The real fire next to the bud or hash is the real deal. I don't know how many more vapes I'll be getting. It was an experimental phase in my life. 

Weed is all you need. Hash is pricey and redundant. Vapes are redundant. They're newfangled and the effect isn't that noticeable next to regular weed. 

Vapes should only be used very seldom. The law of diminishing returns. 

Other than that, I stayed home. I was going to see the Shackleton movie at IMAX but after going to Sidney yesterday I need to wait at least a day before doing anything else. 

Saturday, January 20, 2024

Conclusion: For gourmet THC, Moon Rock is the best. Better than vape. 

Will get moon rock again at some point a few months down the road. 

Vape is still good though. 

It's a predictable stage. The stsge fight before doing a cartoon. My ideas will be weird. Another Police cartoon? After that I'll be doing a cartoon of another theme. 

My aim is to be a 100% normal and sane person. Doing crazy animated cartoons don't help. 

The craziness is in the thousand and one details of my cartoons. 

I like drawing smoke effects. It's very therapeutic. One smoke frame blends into another. 

I'm aiming for the 60s Gracie Slick White Rabbit smoke effect like the smoke was from a hookah pipe with hash and tobacco. 

Some of the scenes in my upcoming cartoon will be influenced from previous artwork or scenes from the genre such as Cyberpunk 2077. 

I thought of going to Sidney BC to tell some friends there that I hope I won't be living in a tent in a couple of years. The more people I tell, it creates a psychic wave in the collective unconscious which hopefully will reduce my chances of being homeless. I heard of a lot of old people being homeless and living in a tent. 

I wouldn't last two weeks in a tent. 

These friends I speak of work at and or own a business there so it's just casual friends. Hopefully I can move to Sidney one day. Sidney has a vibe. But the people of Sidney might think I'm too crazy for that town. I'd be the first to say that I think I'm crazy. Mental. 

But my aim is to achieve 100% normality. 

To be normal you must:

Be a Christian or of some other religion and have strong faith. 

Be moderate in thought and action. 

Remember God at all times. 

The best way to live is clean and sober. 

Women are a two sided coin or else a trap. Some nice things, sure but also problems. 

Go and get a hand job at a massage parlour or if not that then stop worrying about women completely. 

Eat only fresh foods. If it smells off, throw it away. 

Get enough sleep. Try to get more than enough sleep if you can. Sleep calms the amygdala and lots of sleep is the cure for exhaustion and burnout. 

Don't stay in your room for 23 and a half hours a day every day. Go on a walk. Walk to the Castle. Walk to the beach. Go on a bus trip out of town. 

Vancouver is a big trip. London would be the majorly trip. 

If I ever get an inheritance or else a massive windfall I will go to London and visit the Sherlock Holmes museum. 

That's my promise. 

Going to London means crossing Canada plus crossing an entire ocean then landing in London which is a large sprawling town. The returning means crossing an ocean and then the entire length of Canada. Again. There have been some really old people in this town who made the trip. I mean really old. Old. They must have nerves of steel. 

When arriving in London, try to ignore the taxi touts and go to the Skytrain. When inondon, look for a cheap hotel with a private room and pay with a credit card. 

Don't drink too much beer. One has to have at the very least one beer while in London and at least two cups of tea. Orange Pekoe and Earl Grey. 

The tea in tea bags is what's called tea dust. It works. There's virtually no difference. Tea dust is a multi billion dollar a year international industry. 

Tea leaves from a tea shop is a finer quality. The tea tastes and feels noticeably stronger and fresher. 

Chamomile tea is good for sleepy time. 

Valerian root is good for anxiety but what's better is extricating yourself from any situation that tweaks the sympathetic nervous system and adrenal glands like being a caregiving and not being able to stop due to guilt from some delusion that if you don't help, then that person will die. A cosmic voice once said to someone, You are not God. Stop trying to take on so much responsibility for things you can only do so much for. 

Gingko biloba is good for memory and Brian function. 

Passion flower and vanilla tea is good too. Vanilla tea with sugar and milk? The best. 

London has a lot of large indoor theme parks where one thinks that they are in the afterlife in a magical land far away from all previous concerns worries and responsibilities. I'd like to go there. Escape and be reborn with my consciousness fully intact and renewed in a magical wonderland full of fun future possibilities. Who wouldn't want that. I want to experience that when I'm old. 

A brand new chapter living in a luxurious apartment in a cyber city. In 2050, I'll be 80. 2050 could be a year when all cities will look a lot more like cyberpunk cities than they do now. In 2050 will there be flying cars? I doubt it! People can't even drive cars now and screw up. Some people can't drive trucks and figure out grade school geometry that a truck aboge a certain height won't hit the top of an overpass. It's called max headroom. 

How would it be with flying cars crashing into the roofs of houses? Those cars would have to have some AI autopilot that works automatically. 

In the News, two people lost in the mountains were rescued. Their Apple iPhone set off a beacon. The thing is, they didn't even know their Apple phone did that. The phone did it automatically and saved their lives. 

The word IPhone has a protracted embedded anagram within it. 

O could almost be a lower case 'A' except for one stroke. A. 

N in phoNe. N

P in mirror form is sort of like g. G 

E in phonE

And it I in IPhone is almost like a lower case l. L 

Equals = ANGEL

It was certainly so in this case. 

The future can be better than I imagined. As recently as yesterday when I visited Sidney BC, I didn't know that today I'd be smoking a THC diamond vape. That's mind-blowing. I only first heard of THC diamonds a month ago. 

With actual diamonds rather than a vape, one needs a blue flame lighter. And a pyrex glass pipe. The lighter heats the smoking bowl of the pipe. As the little bit of diamond is added using a dabbling spoon, the bubbling liquid melted diamonds is inhaled. Like crack, THC diamonds is best in a melted liquid form. That's chemistry. 

I don't have time to tinker with blue light lighters and glass pipes. The old way is best. Use a regular pipe and regular yellow flame Bic lighter. Smoke weed and not some butane infused cannabis derivative. 

Last night I had a dream of the King of Thailand. He visited me where I was at in the dream. 

I was a job that I wanted to quit. I was telling the manager that I was wanting to quit the job. Then the KoT was there. I thought of him as the Prince in my mind. When you know of a Royal who has been a Crown Prince for decades of your life, even after he is King, when you see him, you kind of think of him as a Prince. 

The KoT had two atrendants with him, a male and a female. The female was wearing a white military uniform and so was the male attendant. 

We all went into a room which was like a bathroom. The KoT was walking in that bathroom and I was kneeling prostrate head to the ground. That's the protocol and in the dream I knew to observe that. 

The female attendant was seated to the left of me in mermaid pose. Then in the hallway I saw an old man with long beard wearing a green toque. A white man. He was carrying some boxes to put into a storage area next to the bathroom area with the white shower curtains but then he saw all of us, who I was with. He put the boxes away quickly and excused himself. Often when I am with a group of Oriental, a White person is there and this time in a dream with the KoT a White man appeared. My connection to White people and to Thai people too, obviously is strong. The KoT was wearing a black polo shirt with some repeating printed designs on it. He appeared young, about 33. 

He asked about the job I was doing. I said I wanted to quit the job and visit Thailand. 

Then I was in a living room. We all teleported. I understood this to be the living rokm of my parents house. I was sitting in a Buddhist meditation position, kneeling, ready to bow my head down to the ground at any time. The Kof T was sitting on a round leather ottoman, he was wearing that black polo shirt and white pants. And he was pulling out record albums of my parents from a shelf against the wall and looking at them quizzically one after another. He said something like, "Interesting records." 

"Those are my parents records." End of dream. 

The dream was so strong I woke up with a strong royal feeling that I could not shake not that I wanted to but it was different than usual and this feeling stayed with me for about an hour after waking. 

I shouldn't worry about my future because someone is watching and looking out for me. 

I the dream I sensed the King saw my gesture of suppliance and obedience. He noticed that and will now see to it that I am taken care of. 

Today I went to see the Shackleton movie at IMAX. He survived near impossible circumstances. I say that the Hand of God was with him. 

Then I went to Thrifty's and got some raw tuna in sriracha, sriracha because of my dream of the KoT last night. I got some kale juice, good antioxidant and also more lamb chunks. I have curry paste and coconut cream. This will make for a good curry with rice. I also have a third of a potato that I could dice and boil and add to the curry. 

I saw the real Grey Cup of the CFL and the real Stanley Cup of NHL hockey legend. I saw it. I was there with lots and lots of other people. I never thought I'd see that in my lifetime. 

I was going to go to Sidney to visit the Chinese restaurant and tell them that my hotel is closing in two years and if they can remember me in their thoughts so I won't wind up living in a tent. Since I had the dream of the King of Thailand and got such a powerful wave of comforting and mighty feelings, that I think now that whether or not I tell my friends in Sidney about my situation, some is watching over and protecting me and someone has my back. Royalty? Who knows? 

A few days ago when I got Joan of Arc on the app Yes Your Majesty, I got a new friend. The name of the new friend is Dixinme which sounds nasty. 

My mind came to a few connections. Dix means ten in French. Dieux means God in French. Dixin sounds like Dixon as in the Mason Dixon line in an oblique reference to my character named Austin Boston. Austin and Boston in the United States are on opposite sides of the Mason Dixon line. So I got that connection. 

I've played these apps for years and on this app or that app, users will have the most odd and profane user names. I've seen so much of it that I'm now numb, desensitized and indifferent to that. Oh yeah, there will be more strange user names to come in years and years from now. User names with references to genitals etc It's on that level of profane. Weird user names are the linqua Franca or the coin of the realm when it comes to the internet. Weird user names show up on YouTube comments all the time. It's par for the course. 

Monday, January 22, 2024

Today I was going to go to Sidney to tell my friends about my worries about living j a tent in two years. 

I was waiting at the bus stop for nearly 20 minutes. Then I saw the UVIC bus. It seemed like a good idea so I hopped on. The bus got crowded like a Vancouver bus. 

The bus took so many turns that I don't know how the bus driver knew the way to the University. There are at least 5 bus routes going to and from that University all along very different routes. 

I brought my mango flavoured tobacco vape to the University and had a few vapes when I was there. 

Then I got to the University. I went to the cafeteria. Crowded. I ordered a curried chicken with rice and vegetables to go. Then I went to the University bookstore and got a UVIC sweatshirt. Blue sweatshirt with dark red lettering. The lettering on the UVIC swestshirt is nicer than the lettering on my UBC sweatshirt. 

Then I went home. When I left my apartment I didn't know that I'd return with a UVIC sweatshirt. Life is full of surprises. I'll go to Sidney BC later in this week sometime. 

I might start my cartoon today. I don't know. Starting a cartoon is like going the few few feet on a roller coaster ride. There's no turning back. The only thing is to not start it in the first place. I don't know if it's anything anyone wants to see. I don't know if I have the skills to pull it off. 

I prefer to be single. I once thought that having a girlfriend was the answer to all my problems. Ha! All having a girlfriend does is to have new problems. And any woman who would take me on would also be presented with problems as I have one or two mental issues that I'm dealing with. The best way is to be single. I think I'll be single for life. 

I know of three women. One is a flake another is a gas lighting narcissist and another is a retard. The women I know in my life I wouldn't mind moving to another town and never seeing them again let alone knowing any more new women. 

I'll probably be single for life. I fear the future. 

Tuesday, January 23, 2024

I am worried about the future. I'm worried that I'll wind up homeless. I'm not as ruddy and as strapping and as hearty and hale as the street people who have managed to live in a tent outdoors on the sidewalk for years. 

I would get hypothermia at night and be dead the next morning. I would need to wear 23 layers of clothing in the winter to survive. 

I don't know if going to Sidney BC and talking to my friends at the Chinese restaurant would make any difference. They would only be sympathetic and that's about it. 

At the Chinese restaurant in Sidney, I speak Cantonese with them. I'm rusty at that language. The other day I fumbled linguistically as I said, "Ngor yue ha jiew jerng, uh, lat jiew jerng." Translated, "I need shrimp pepper sauce, uh, hot pepper sauce."

So my grasp of the language isn't that great. The Chinese Church speaks Chinese well. The words I understood were largely 8th grade words, high school level somewhat complex words. Then within the sentences, they used words I didn't understand, University level words. They speak Chinese well! 

Curiously, in Victoria, the staff at the Chinese restaurants just about refuse to speak Chinese with me. Perhaps it's because they know that when I'm at home in my apartment, I never speak Chinese whereas they go on for hours on end every day speaking Chinese. Different dynamics. Different energies. 

Wherws in Sidney BC, the staff at the Chinese restaurant go out of their way to speak Chinese with me. 

Sidney BC is a smaller town and there is a different dynamic between smaller and towns and bigger towns. Smaller towns have a slower pace of life and everyone knows everyone's business in a small town. Supposedly. There are so many people even in a small town that you'd really wind up knowing only some of the people. Nobody knows. Nobody cares. 

In Vancouver a lot of Chinese restaurants would only be too happy to speak Chinese with you. 

Victoria is a bit of a strange town. 

Vancouver has a faster pace of life and is more hyper and is on average an angrier city. More verbal abuse and sucker punches in Vancouver almost guaranteed. 

In any of the other towns in BC I loved in, I never got punched ever. Dawson Creek, Prince Rupert, Victoria, never punched. 

In Vancouver I got punched a few times. It's the nature of the town. 

When I was in Bangkok Thailand I never got punched. Thailand is for the most part a gentle nation, unless one gives them a reason not be, otherwise its full steam ahead. 

That's just like any other country. 

In big cities places have too much to do. In small towns, they look for something to do to justify their paycheck. Hence don't be surprised if you go to certain places and get barred or have security talk to you for no reason or for reasons that would be under the radar in a big city. A lot of these places are government funded so even if they have no customers they would still get the same funding. They are not dependant on the customer dollar like actual free enterprise places are. Therefore they can enact any in house policies based on arbitrary whims. 

Big cities, small towns, you are trading one set of advantages and disadvantages for another. 

Things I learned about longboarding. 

Don't mall grab which is to grab the axle of the wheels. 

Don't mongo which is to push with the front foot with the back foot on the skateboard. Do it the other way. Push with the back foot with the front foot on the skateboard. 

I'm worried that I'll never learn other essential things like sliding on the longboard and stopping using sliding. Also flipping the board with the feet. That seems to defy the laws of physics let alone some of the more spectacular stunts on longboarding. 

I worry that my longboarding will reach a plateau and a low one at that so what's the point? Well not everyone has to do everything to the point of a gold winning Olympic athlete. Do whatever to the level you are capable of. Who cares what other people think. They don't think of you much anyways, they're mainly thinking about themselves. 

I look back at my life and I made a lot of silly mistakes. Only Jesus could look back at his life and see the absence of any silly mistakes. 

All people wish to be but nobody has gone through life without making silly mistakes. 

Pastor Joel Osteen said that everyone has scars. But instead of using the scars as an excuse to feel guilty or that you don't measure up, use the scars to remind you of God's mercy and goodness of how he has brought you or is now bringing you through things. 

God has brought a lot of people out of situations that might have otherwise finished them but the hand of God gave them the grace to go through their temporary problems. 

Wednesday, January 24, 2024

My story of hash. 

The strongest memories I have of hash were in downtown Vancouver in the winter of 1990. I smoked hash in the washrooms of Eaton's downtown. One time I was outside the seabus station. I had rolled a hash cigarette. I was going to smoke it then I saw two winos. I offered to share the hash cigarette with them. I was simultaneously surprised and not surprised to see that they accepted and really liked the hash cigarette. 

My earliest memories of hash were in Dawson Creek. There was a house somewhere or other where there were a couple of Natives who sold hash. 1 for $15 2 for $25 in the days when wages were about $8 an hour. Weed was rarely if ever available and even then there were times when the entire small town was out of hash. This wouldn't happen in a big city. 

Hash is still sold at roughly the same price, 2 grams for $25.75 where I get it but the wages now are $17 an hour. 

Then in the winter of 1992 there was suddenly no hash to be found anywhere. It was all of a sudden all about BC Bud. Of course BC Bud isn't a term used anymore because there are a lot of different strains grown in all places. 

Now with cannabis stores, you can get weed, hash, live rosin, shatter, diamonds and sauce, vapes etc. 

I've regressed back to the days of 1990 and hash smoking. 

I greatly worry about the future. The future is scary. 

I hope to one day move to a theme park where all my old troubles are far away. The two themes of a theme park I'd like to live at are a Victorian town similar to a Harry Potter village. I'd also like to live with a lot of Catholics. When I saw where the Penguin lived in the movie The Blues Brothers, I felt that I wanted to live there. It seemed like a community of Catholics who are very together mentally and who live a pious and strife free life and often give each other advice about life in a very pure spirit of spirituality. 

Thursday, January 25, 2024

My dream last night. I was at a house, moving around. 

A lady lying on a bed said to me, "I'm a lonely lady. If you kick my p*****, I'll give you a bl*****."

Then I was in another room of the house. I was lying on the ground.

 Suddenly I saw President Obama and President George W Bush. Obama walked in first, he was wearing a blue blazer and pants. George W Bush followed, he was wearing a grey blazer and pants. Obama was to the left and George was to the right. 

I looked out the window. The world was gone. It was all gone. All of it. The civilized world. 

All I saw was water all around and some sand since the water was shallow, about 2 and a half feet high. No buildings around. At all. I looked at the Presidents again. Then put the window at the water that was shallow. The sky was light blue and it was sunny. Not a cloud in the sky. 

Then I looked out of the window and up. A very high, I'd say 100 storeys tidal wave was cresting upwards. It was about to crash down. I covered my head with my arms thinking that I was about to die. 

The I was on the streets at night in Bangkok Thailand. The way I moved around, people knew I knew martial arts and I knew that they knew that. I'm not that delusional. My so called martial arts are useless against most people. Fighting is an emotionally charged event. People will use words that can deflect your fighting energy. I generally try not to say anything before a fight and to focus on any skills that I might need. 

Anyways, I was to bring something to someone in a stadium up ahead. I passed through some street vendors and people on bicycles on the sidewalk. I was supposed to go to the stadium but I woke up and the dream was over before that. 

I'm worried that where I'll move next to will be expensive. That I won't have much money after the rent. I wonder if I should just end it all. However I have to trust God. "In God We Trust" is the motto on American money. 

That's the best possible motto.

Remember to trust in God. 

Today I only went to the grocery store. 

Working on the cartoon. 

I have to go to Sidney BC to talk with my friends but I'm not sure how useful that would be. 

"That will neither be necessary nor useful." Sherlock Holmes, The Solitary Cyclist 

I discovered a new app called Natural Reader. It's a text to speech app. So far it's free but otherwise it costs money. 

The names of the characters in my cartoon are Edward Escoffier. Escoffier was the famous chef. That word sounds a lot like etoufee which is a New Orleans shrimp casserole. 

And the other name is Claire Beatty. Those names sound catchy. 

A lot of hockey players names sound catchy which makes me wonder if some of those names are stage names. There was a hockey player named Satan. What kind of name is that for a hockey player or for anyone? It's better to have a Godly and a Christly name. 

In my cartoon, Claire Beatty is a successful politician. The cartoon doesn't specify what kind of politician. MLA, MP, Mayor, not specified. 

Each scene in my cartoon takes about three days to draw because of so many details. Each window on each building has to be drawn. 

This cartoon story will only have one plot twist. The other cartoon, Steampunk Police, had about three or four. 

1. The first Police Officer was a pretend and not a real Police Officer. 

2. The pretend Officer and the culprit were partners in crime. 

3. The culprit survived and is the projectionist for a movie about his past. 

4. The projectionist too is part of the movie breaking the fourth wall. 

Friday, January 26, 2024

Today Heather visited me. She gave me a tin of cigarette butts. I gave her a STLTH 1K strawberry ice flavored nicotine disposable vape unit. She seemed to like it right away. 

South Africa condemned Israel for 'practices amounting to genocide'. South Africa codemning a Nation for genocide is like Willy Wonka saying that you have a chocolate addiction. 

Likewise Donald Trump said that cybercurrency is dodgy. This is coming from someone who is himself no stranger to anomalous business dealings. 

Will the ICC International Criminal Court issue an arrest warrant for Netanyahu like it did for Putin? Question is, would that stop Netanyahu? 

Short answer: no. Long answer: hell no. 

Prime Minister Netanyahu is Mr Johnny on the fricking Spot. He's like Kilgore in Apocalypse Now, 

"Not safe to surf this beach? I'll surf this beach!" 

I'm going to Sidney to talk to my friends at the Chinese restaurant about my lodgings for the future. Would it make a difference or would it wind up being an extraneous and spurious move? 

I completed the first scene of my cartoon. I'll release a preview when more is developed. Or should I? Would anyone be interested in seeing anything like that? 

The cartoon is a letter of tribute to the Police to try to offset so much negative graffiti about the Police such as A**B and **c* the Police. I always shake my head when I see that. However I imagine there have been cases that have been the exception rather than the rule, anomalies in the course of the deployment of justice. 

A Police Officer said on television the other day, "Don't join a gang. You think it's cool. But the people you joined up with are the ones who later on will set you up for being killed."

That sounds like the plot for the movie Training Day which is a movie about a rookie Police Officer's first day on the job. 

The cartoon I did isn't that good. It's all right but it's not on the level of PS5 graphics. 

But a PS5 Game is a 300 person one thousand years of man hours 50 gigabyte video game. 

I want to get an Oculus which is a VR headset. A subbrand of Oculus is Quest. Oculus Quest 3 is the newest one and about $300 or over. Oculus Quest 2 is $250. 

I need a VR game that has no motion sickness. At all. 

At the art gallery, there was a VR goggles that had a room and one reached up and touched cards like a card catalogue which pulled out information. Like an encyclopedia. 

The best VR game would be either an encyclopedia or else trivia including travel and movie trivia. 

Remember that scene in that movie? Now you're right in the middle of it courtesy of VR technology which ergonomically changes the movie to be VR goggle compatible. Then a prompt appears. What is the name of the movie? Then a multiple choice question. The arm and hand raises to touch the answer. VR goggles is the closest thing to being in another dimension. There is teleportation exhibited and one can stand in front of a door and then be on the other side of the door and in the room in an instant in VR goggles land. There is time travel as one can revisit or advance ahead to any point in the movie just like watching a Blu Ray disc. 

I don't know if I'll ever get VR goggles and if there are any non motion sickness games. 

I could see an encyclopedia game on VR where one answers trivia questions or does some task. A reward is another scene like being at a nature and adventure place. 1,000 scenes in all. Still scenes that don't pan don't take up as much memory as the motion sickness RPGs. 

I saw the Star Wars lightsaber VR game on YouTube. Motion sickness. And the choreography is retarded and not realistic at all. If it was realistic, a person would lose 100% of the time. Think about it. You vs a troop of military trained storm troopers. In real life? Even with a lightsaber, all any one of them has to do is to get in a lucky shot. 

I was disappointed with the Star Wars VR. 

A good VR game is visit the Titanic. You don't have to go in a bone crushing submarine. Use the VR goggles and look out the window of a prerecodred image from a robotic submersible sent to the actual Titanic which used Google maps street view technology so one can go on a slow moving tour of the Titanic. It would be scary and depressing. 

Saturday, January 27, 2024

This may sound shocking. 

The ideal: My plan was to go to Sidney and get 2 $12 bags of tea from a tea shoppe. 1 orange pekoe tea and 1 earl grey tea. Tea from a tea shop is better than mass produced tea bags which have tea dust rather than tea leaves. Tea dust works and works good and is a multi billion dollar a year international industry. 

Then go to the cannabis shop and get an eighth of gourmet quality weed, a kolab project vape 232 series with slurricane with is terp sauce and another moon rock. 

Then go see the movie Poor Things. 

Then go to the Chinese restaurant. 

All that amounts to nearly $200. 

The reality: You can't drink champagne on a beer budget. Sure, I'd like to stay at a 5 star hotel too. All that would take a massive hit on my monthly let alone daily budget. I already have food and some cannabis so all that would be redundant. It isn't as if if I went to talk to my friends at the restaurant that I wouldn't wind up living in a tent but if I didn't I would. Either way I won't wind up living in a tent. I talked to some friends at the Catholic Church and also at two Presbyterian Churches. Also quite a few welfare people. Not a one of them believed that I would be living in a tent. If I had to live in a tent, I'd work at a job, save up enough for a passport and plane ticket and go to Thailand and try to be an illegal alien. Live up country. Live with the hill tribes because Dawson Creek wasn't enough of a backwater town, I need to live in an even more backwater town where the main strip is a mud road with a water buffalo standing in the middle of it. 

As I write this, I am too late for the movie. It is 12:05 pm as I write this. It takes ten minutes to get dressed and walk out the door. Five minutes to get to the bus stop if the elevator is slow. The bus to Sidney BC shows up once every 45 minutes. It takes about an hour to get to Sidney since the bus goes on a detour along the way through yet another town that's up along a hill, heck, small mountain. Do the arithmetic. I'm too late. 

I'm doing a carton. My drawing skills are limited. 

Poor Things is an art house movie. No martial arts, gun fights, car chases, explosions. And its a B movie as well. In baseball, that's a double play. Arthouse movie and B movie. The mask Willem Dafoe wears makes it a B movie. 

There's tons of free movies to watch. 

I watched the Wonka movie. Excellent movie. Very fast paced. The two hour movie seemed to be only a 45 minute movie. The sequel should be good too. 

There are conspiracy theories on YouTube that Willy Wonka actually killed and ate the children. And the movie Snowpiercer is a sequel to Willy Wonka. Or else the sequel to The Great Glass Elevator. 

There is at least one excellent tea shop in this town. I don't have to go to Sidney for that. 

This month, KFC has a $10 meal for 2 people deal. 

McDonald's has a mini combo for $6. That's 80s prices. 

Dairy Queen has a $8 cheeseburger combo deal including a small sundae. Burger, fries, small drink and sundae. 

This is more affordable. 

I don't know if I should watch Napoleon. Reviews said that while in history, Napoleon was one of the greatest military generals in history with over a hundred military victories here and there throughout Europe and in Egypt too, in the movie he's a character that is conflicted, sullen, insecure, moody, whiny, narcissistic and self obsessed. 

In other words it's an arthouse movie. 

Some YouTube videos are saying that it's starting to get worrying regarding how long Princess Kate is in the hospital. Often routine surgeries are discharged in five days. A lady on the News in the United States said she had an emergency C section and her stay in hospital was 5 days. 

Theories range from eating disorder, or maybe she wants to stay away from Prince William because he is toxic. 

And Princess Kate wants a longer hospital stay to avoid him. 

YouTube also said Prince William isn't visiting Princess Kate as much as Camilla has visited King Charles. 

There are answers to all of this. Why would a lady want to stay away from a Crown Prince? That would be like Sophie Trudeau, I mean the first lady wanting to be separated from Justin Trudeau, I mean the Head of State. That's baffling indeed. 

Deduce, Watson. 

Prince William hasn't visited as often because perhaps Princess Kate requires more privacy as directed from doctors and nurses. 

Princess Kate could be there simply due to exhaustion. The pandemic and possible parental burnout from raising three children along with so many Royal duties and walkabouts and Princess Meghan saying things about Princess Kate as reported in the tabloids could all bring about exhaustion or burnout. And an abdominal surgery would only add to the anxiety. All these things tweak the sympathetic nervous system to some degree but on a long term basis. That would do it for anyone. 

I don't know and don't think that Prince William is cheating on Princess Kate. Who would? No one would cheat on a lady as classy as Princess Kate. The internet is capable of this level of trash. 

Or I worry that it could be something worse they are not disclosing. Keep a stiff upper lip. Never complain, never explain. 

Obvious worry wart is obvious. 

It is interesting to note how the social media narrative has changed. 

Before it was Prince William and Princess Kate are classy and a gift to the Nation and Prince Harry and Princess Meghan are deranged and have gone off the reservation. 

Now it's Prince Harry and Princess Meghan were smart to escape Prince William's toxicity. 

I don't know if it's toxicity. A comment I read on a YouTube video impossible to remember said, "Suicide is about control. A person has no control and gets a life that they don't accept. The thing to do is just to accept the life that you currently have."

Evdryone wants a certain modicum of control in their life and frustration and some anger emerges if they don't feel in control as much as wanted."

Control is often about forgetting the present moment. 

The Wilem Dafoe movie Inside: "All the time that will come after this moment." means a fixation on the future at the expense of this moment. 

One day I will be more successful. That sentence kills any reverence of the present moment. 

Eckhart Tolle said that there can be a tendency to think of the present moment as an aberration, as something undesirable, a distraction and something to be gotten over with as soon as possible. 

The only success is in fulling enjoying the present moment. 

I know about toxicity. A couple of personalities I met years ago in Vancouver were very toxic. They were very verbally abusive towards me every time they saw me. I've never been verbally abused in any other city nearly as much as I did in Vancouver. The first two letters of Vancouver are VA which stands for verbal abuse. 

One person each time I saw this person, brought up some embarrassing incident I told him about, a few embarrassing incidents. Every single time. Yet I never verbally abused him in return. That's an angelic nature. This person has since died a few years ago. 

But I also never had as much great times with ladies as much as I have in Vancouver so the first two letters of Vancouver could stand for very awesome. 

Today I watched 3 movies. 

Eileen. Anne Hathaway. About a young lady living with her Police Officer fsther. She befriends a prison psychiatrist. They uncover a mystery regarding one of the prisoners. 

The Kill Room. Uma Thurman. Samuel L Jackson. Art money laundering movie. Money launder sells gallery a painting along with some money. The art gallery owner writes the money launderer a cheque minus commission. The artist in question kills people in the execution no pun intended of his paintings. 

Hypnotic. Ben Affleck. A person with hypnotic powers influence people to commit crime and there is just as powerful an agent with equal hypnotic powers working for the Police. 

All of them good movies with good pacing and fast moving and interesting plotlines. 

Sunday, January 28, 2024

I have to enjoy today. Otherwise what am I supposed to do. Worry? 

Today I'm thinking of going to a memorial service for a Priest at the Church who died. I usually don't go because it's too depressing. 

If you don't go to others memorial service, then others won't go to your memorial service. 

I don't know what will happen to me in the future. If no one goes to my memorial service, I wouldn't blame them. Those things are too depressing. I'd be just as happy if they were to remember the good times and just go on with their lives. A memorial service can be kind of a downer. 

I don't usually go so to go to different experiences especially experiences that don't cost money is good for the mind. 

I went to the memorial service. It was all right. There were lots of people there. 

That person I was worried about, Don, was there but it turned out I didn't have anything to worry about. 

Worries about people are secondary or tertiary worries unless there is a person who is right now attacking you then you have to defend yourself. 

Primary issues after all social issues are gone are the issues of growing old and dying. Those are issues that not even having a few billion dollars can help if one has genuine intense existential fears about old age and death. 

Primary issues - old age and death

Secondary issues - health anxiety

Tertiary issues - social issues

Kolab projects which makes a really high tech quality product has a lychee flavored vape cartridge. Lychee however it's an indica cartridge. Kolab also has a strawberry flavored sativa cartridge. At $40 plus tax, it's pricey but you get a lot of tokes. All cannabis vape pens are made with terp sauce. That stuff is mass produced which is cheaper to produce in large quantities rather than in small quantities. 

The cannabis is placed in bags and quickly cryogenically frozen. Within an hour it is put in a drum and butane extract is forced through it under high pressure. The result is a liquid that oozes out. 

Get a plastic cylinder with a plastic screw top. Puncture quite a few holes about 2 mm in diameter on the screw top lid. On the other end punch one small hole which has to be very airtight. Then put cannabis shake or preferably buds in the plastic cylinder and cover it with a cheese cloth. Screw the plastic lid on. Then o the other end get butane lighter fluid spray and put the nozzle of the butane into the airtight hole. It is very important that the hole is absolutely airtight. Then squeeze out as much butane as you can. A golden oily liquid should ooze out the other end. That's very smokeable and it is called budder. It has a high THC content of about 87%. I haven't been able to do this because I could never get the butane liquid insertion hole on the plastic container airtight enough. It takes a few times to get it right and I couldn't be bothered. Trial and error involves a lot of wastage which is expensive. 

Terp sauce almost always includes the presence of THC diamonds. Diamonds and sauce. 

If a vape pen advertises diamonds, it is never diamonds. Diamonds have a certain viscosity and tensile integrity as per the Moh's scale. Vape pen only has liquid viscocitiies. What a diamond vape pen has is diamond sauce which is very nearly the next best thing. If diamonds have 99% THC then diamond terp sauce has 97% THC minimum. That's mind blowing. 

Making terp sauce involves other processes that you'd have to have a university degree in chemistry to understand. Anyways this sauce is available in all cannabis vape cartridges. Isn't that nice? 

From what I know, a vape pen has a mouthpiece then a liquid cartridge, a batter, a wick and an atomizer. 

One inhales through the mouthpiece creating suction that draws the cartridge liquid into a wick made of cotton rope material. The heating coils of the battery powered atomizer are wrapped around these wicks and as soon as the liquid which is an electro conductive material is drawn up it forms an electric charge connecting two tiny positive and negatives leads in the heating coils which heat up and then the liquid drawn through the wick heats up which has the active chemical and the Propylene glycol and glycerol carriers. 

The coils are made with iron, aluminum and chromium or else nickel and chromium. 

The Internet said that Spanish News in Spain said that Princess Kate underwent an induced coma. 

Nothing to see here. 

It is routine procedure to put any surgery patients under a very high powered general anaesthetic called propofol. This drug puts people in what could be described as an induced coma. 

Prejudice directed at most nationalities is called racism but prejudice directed st Jewish people is called anti Semitism. 

A normal person getting killed is called a murder. An implrtsnt person being killed is called an assassination. 

A normal person is put under sedation before a surgery but important people are placed in an induced coma. 

It was Spain that released the News of Princess Kate being in a coma. In 1920 it was Spain who released the News that there was an influenza pandemic emerging in Europe. For that, that strain of flu was then named after that country called the Spanish Flu. Play Spanish games, win Spanish prizes. 

Unless voluntarily disclosed, a person's medical issues is nobody's business. Whoever is in the hospital be they an important person or a normal person should have their right to privacy especially during their convalescence. 

Monday, January 29, 2024

I did go to Sidney today. I went to the pot shop and got a slurricane terpene vape and lemon Royale marijuana strain which is a strain of weed that's supposed to be good for creativity. I wanted to get a moon rock but they were all sold out. 

Then I went to the Salish Centre for the Sea. 

Then I walked on the pier. Truth is stranger than fiction. I was at the pier and I walked in one direction to a park right next to a pier and I noticed a guy was there looking at me. He commented that I must be listening to good music because I was doing my dancing as usual. The dance moves help with the moment to moment boredom. 

I said it was 60s 70s and 80s music. He said it was a good era. Then I walked somewhere else along the pier walkway and I noticed he was looking at me again. 

He was wearing sunglasses and he was at a distance looking in my direction. He might not have been looking at me. He wore a red jacket and had a white paper coffee cup with him. 

My imagination painted a story that he was an undercover cop just observing me. He just wanted to see what I was doing in Sidney. 

Oh yeah, on the pier I had one puff of the nicotine vape. I had a large inhalation so I coughed. There were no smoking signs here and there. I thought he was there because of me vaping on the pier. I doubt something like that would elicit a Police response. 

Afterwards as I was walking around the pier area, I noticed him again but he walked past me and away saying nothing.

I have a friend who stopped going to Walmart altogether because she thought agents were always on the bus following her. That's delusional paranoia. 

I've been to Sidney before on a few occasions thinking there was an agent watching me but every single time, nothing came of it. 

If you don't have any criminal intentions or even mischievous intentions then you don't have to worry about agents. And a lot of the time if not all the time it's in my delusional imagination. Most agents wouldn't waste their time with the likes of someone like me.

I have noticed that the Sidney pier is a popular place for some of the unemployed citizens of Sidney and sometimes drunk enemployed people hang out there. But these drunks aren't hardcore abstemious drunks. They are very bourgeois and only drink moderately albeit regularly. 

When I was at Sidney, I accomplished my mission of telling my friend who owns the Chinese restaurant in Sidney that I go to all the time about me being worried about living in a tent. He said that I probably won't wind up living in a tent but rents are more expensive these days. 

Then I worried about the high rent. 

Then in Sidney, I went to the toy store and got a large kaleidoscope with a picture on an Emperor penguin on it. And a small model dodge car with two white stripes on it which made me think that it's kind of like merch from my Tracy Thorn cartoons. And I got a Schleich reindeer on sale. It had golden antlers. 

It is evening as I write this. Earlier today, King Charles and Princess Kate got released from the hospital. 

Even yesterday, the internet painted a worrying picture. She might not emerge again for quite awhile if ever. How bad could it be? 

Then as ever, much fears unfounded, any worries were unfounded because Princess Kate was discharged from the hospital doing well with presumably full medical clearance. 

Tuesday, January 30, 2024

Today I got a haircut then that's it. I went home and ate some leftover rice from the restaurant in Sidney. Then I had some chicken and noodles for dinner. 

There is a female lawyer in the United States who is deaf and blind. Her name is Haben Girma. That changes the dynamic for all of us living in this hotel. That means compared with her, all of us living in this hotel are not deaf and blind and not lawyers. 

Being a woman lawyer is no big deal nowadays but 50 years ago it would have been. 

Most people let the problems in their life stop them or make them complain. Haben Girma in spite of her disabilities never complained but became a lawyer. 

I'm working on my cartoon. I hope that some people will enjoy it. The story has just one major twist ending. I don't know if it will be as good as the last cartoon I did. 

I don't think telling my friend in Sidney about my worries about living in a tent made any difference. 

Wednesday, January 31, 2024

Still working on my cartoon. Went to a restaurant for fried rice. It's the only healthy food for me. 

The landlord told me that the Police were here on Monday at 8 or 9 am. They were looking for me but didn't find me. I'm worried. They want to bust me for something that I didn't even realize I did. That can happen. 

The landlord said he knows the cop system pretty good. If they wanted me, I'd be gone. 

I wonder what it's about. Sometimes the Police tell of a death in the family. 

The Police haven't returned. 

The thing is, I was at home on Monday between 8 to 9 am. No way they would have missed me. I would have heard the Police knock. The Police knock on the door a certain way. 

I went to Sidney on Monday. Were they here when I went to Sidney? But that was in the afternoon and the landlord said between 8 and 9 am. How would he confuse the afternoon with 9 am?