Saturday, November 1, 2025
Ashwagandha starts working in one day. Feeling less anxiety although I did have a sharp anxiety attack that lasted about five seconds. The burning anxiety otherwise makes me not want to live. Existence with anxiety is no kind of existence st all. Is this all there is?
Wrong thinking - Anything that is worth doing is worth doing right.
Right thinking - Anything that is too difficult isn't worth doing at all including the living of life.
The worth of life is finite because the nature of life is finite. This is a backwater dimension with a backwater set of physics anyways. You can only expect so much and one has to make allowances for the limitations of the physics of this dimension.
There is once in a whole, a tranqued out pilled out feeling. But not often and once in awhile, the burning anxiety returns for five seconds but goes away but when it's there, is it ever there.
Yesterday at 5pm, feeling the burning anxiety yet again, I had to get ashwagandha. Anxiety saps a person of the will to live.
Reviewers have said,
"I used to be on fight or flight all the time. Now I'm calm all the time."
"I used to be like a squireel. Now I'm just cbillin'."
Ashwagandha has withanol which works on the GABA receptors in the brain. So there's that. Supposedly it helps. GABA receptors regulate the speed which the nervous system sends signals. Faster if necessary when in danger but usually optimally slowed down to take it easy.
It's quite powerful for an OTC. Yeah, well, so is Sudafed.
Tomorrow is daylight savings time. Which is terrible.
Supposedly it is based on agrarian reasons, farming.
But really, let's face it, daylight savings time is based on industrial reasons. So people can get to work, the commute.
Farmers have done well without daylight savings time for centuries.
Stanford Fleming came up with daylight savings time.
It is man's ignorance and arrogance behind the imperative that time, baroque and organic in and of itself, must confirm to the regimented Gothic will of industry rather than vice versa. With disastrous results.
Scientists say daylight savings time does a real number in the body.
That's because the objective nature of time is time travel is time experienced on an objective level with changing iterations within the province sent moment. Subjective time is linear with changing iterations bejng consistent and concurrent with a non ending series of plural moments rather than the objective single moment.
So daylight savings time, like jet lag, causing a discrepancy between the objective and subjective perception of time which the body registers with sometimes terrible results.
Whenever you think of various instances of government incompetence and mismanagement, like the airhead flippancy and ignorance of having the $35* a year Christmas bonus rate frozen since the 80s, What's up with that? I wonder what Michael Moore of Sicko would think of that if he knew about it, you have to realize that it's the same species that is so confused and caught up in its own press that it can't be ide whether to hold on to or to get rid of daylight savings time. It is the same species who can't get their ducks in a row about something as basic as the reckoning of time, horology, so much so to the point that in Canada for example, while some places have daylight savings time, other places don't. Vancouver and Victoria have daylight savings time while Dawson Creek is permanently on Pacific Standard Time and never uses daylight savings time and more ironically, Dawson Creek is the farming agrarian society which has no need for DST. What a mess. While the industrialized non-agrarian cities use daylight savings time. Ironic since DST was supposed to be for farmers.
The ideal is that daylight ssvings time is Universal. The reality is, that in all likelihood, every country in the World is a crazy, gangsta, temporal calico cat patchwork or regions that observe DST and regions which don't.
*$35. F4 movies, a free movie site doesn't seem to be working tonight. Kvetched. Of course f in f4 is the first letter of the word five. The 4 in f4 movies could represent the number 4 in the amount of $40. Since f is before and not after 4, that means subtraction, so five minus $40 is $35. The bewildering amount of $35 of a Christmas bonus which has bizarrely remained frozen since the what, the 80s. Yeesh. And you wonder why I think that this is a backwater and that I'd be better off somewhere else.
Ashwagandha is a red flag that if you have to take it, all the signs are there that you are living in the wrong town, perhaps wrong Province, perhaps wrong country. If you were in a place where you are happy, you wouldn't need to take an anti-anxiety adaptogen.
It feels so strange yet so good to be without the burning feeling of anxiety. Previously I thought I'd have to get to the afterlife to feel this free of the burning anxiety.
I feel good feelings that I haven't felt since I was a child before the evolution of the HPA axis which takes on new levels in adulthood.
Hypothalamus - corticotrophin releasing hormone
Pituitary - adrenocorticotropic hormone
Adrenal - cortisol
Ashwagandha directly addresses each of these chemicals.
Forget beer and street drugs. Psychological pharmaceuticals on the guidance of a doctor more specifically addresses the areas of the brain and brain function that directly involve anxiety, fear, etc and can bring about the science of euphoria, nostalgia,
The feel good chemicals are endorphins aka endogenic morphines, dopamine, seratonin, oxytocin etc.
Ashwagandha causes an increase in testosterone which is good for men.
Does ashwagandha cause an increase in progesterone in women because that's a major feel good chemical for them on the level of dopamine, seratonin, etc. It might be even more powerful. That's released after pregnancy to nudge a mother to care for their child. This chemical occurs in many species of female organisms.
Anyways, I am feeling better in general already. There are moments of uncertainty, and slight anxiety that goes away fast.
As Alexandra Kallos more or less said, the afterlife is like 50G to our dimension which is 5G.
A person using 50G broadband can easily play an app that only requires 5G. A person using 5G broadband can not access apps built for 50G broadband.
So for a spirit to visit us from the afterlife, to them it would be like them installing and then using a GBA emulator on an android tablet with a Snapdragon 4 speed processor.
Blue Jays lose the World Series.
"How do you f*ck that up?!" A History of Violence
Even the Dodgers having home field and the odd numbers innings advantage, Toronto had a golden window of opportunity handed to them on a silver platter with the tenth inning and they screwed that up royally.
One might say that other countries merely have to deal with American influence on a vicarious level, Canada has to physically deal with the actual United States living right next to them and it has affected Canadians sports culture. It's one sided with the odds stacked heavily on the other side. Watch the movie Moneyball with Brad Pitt. One team has a $40 million annual budget, another team has a $110 million annual budget.
What can you say? Whoop, one country has 420 million people while the other country has 42 million people. That's quite the disparity.
What a bizarre set up but not if you don't know any other.
This is the new normal going forward. The States winning all the Stanley Cups and World series, 100% of them.
If Canada had a population approximating that of the States, it'd be one thing. But the thing is, England is located on a small island which in its nature can only have a certain amount of people, and Canada is a colony of it so while England has 56 million people, Canada has 42 million people and Australia has 27 million people even though Canada and Australia are way way larger than England. We want you to be more successful but not more successful or populous than us. It's a bizarre set up that in a country as large as Canada with comparatively so few people that people are paying a lot to live in overpriced shoeboxes. It's the old British Boer War concentration camp set up. Old habits die hard. Especially with the British.
The States doesn't suffer under such population privations that Canada and Australia does.
The States has a better population because the States has better weather. The weather in Canada is the sh*ts. It's way too cold for most of the year, anxiety attack producing hypothalamus stimulating and not in a good way cold cold weather. It's awful The ass end of North America. It would be more bizarre if in some weird parallel Universe, Canada not being a colony of England had 175 million people because of the weather, about the same population as Russia, again, because of the weather and the geopolitical land mass known as the States was a British colony with 28 million people, about the same as Australia and again, with about the same weather. But that's precisely how things would be because the British are very regimented and circumscribed.
And bizarre to because England has sh*t weather. London is at an unenviable 52 degrees North, same as Prince George BC, and Edinburgh is at an even more unenviable 55 degrees North, same as Dawson Creek BC and you know how sh*tty the weather is in those places, especially when compared to the United States.
Weird crackpot set up.
It's a rarefied island with a language that's only somewhat better than German otherwise it's Island living on an island with some kind of Napoleonic complex. Empire building, London funnel. It's some kind of weird Kafkaesque bizarre set up that's purely a product of the slow physics of this dimension and of a history of such over centuries.
England is island living. Penguin island. A small town on the mainland is a backwater. A small town on an island is a backwater on another level.
Living on the mainland is a rock show. Living on an island is in comparison, a sh*t-show.
Slim pickin's.
I'll be glad when I'm cross the finish line in the afterlife. Much of the strictures, the set ups of life are just tawdry and insufferable.
Canada is f*cked from England for the colonialism population suppression thing and Canada is f*cked from the States for losing 100% of World series and Stanley Cups to the States.
See, again, China and Russia doesn't have that problem. Countries in the West do. I feel sorry for Ukraine if it decides to side with the West rather than with Russia.
I would strongly advise any Chinese person from futuristic China to not move to backwater Canada. Don't do it. You're way better off where you are.
That's the set up with sports between Canada and the US with the States winning all the championships.
But it's nice that next Canada there is a place that is great and actually rocks. The States is a pinnacle to look up to. A Disney magic castle in the distance something that is greater and more rocks how than anything in Canada. Otherwise all of North America would be like the situation I am living in while living in this Province.
Vancouver and Victoria are the only good towns in BC. Every other town in BC is a blinding blithering backwater with hardly any tourists visiting there ever, that's like one step forward, three steps back. Ugh. Yeesh.
Towns not worth living in. Boring, lack of infrastructure and typically overpriced.
The rest of Canada doesn't have any towns that are interesting except for a few,
Toronto, Ottawa, Quebec City and Montreal. Those towns are better than Vancouver. Vancouver believes in its own hype like most other towns which are more backwaters that think that they are the center of the Universe. Every other city is a backwater that's a waste of time.
Now imagine if all of North America was like that? There's only two good towns in all of North America, Vancouver and Victoria, every other place is a backwater.
But the States is a huge perpetual Memphis Graceland of rock and roll, it's a lucid fever dream of Wizard of Oz Emerald City proportions which are futures to aspire to, full of hope and futuristic promise. So many iconic towns that are rock rock rock, such as Miami, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, New York. Towns that are visceral and pulsating with neon splendour.
The NHL, the baseball league, the headquarters of those pan American sports entities are in the States. That means that Toronto Blue Jays paycheques are written in the States. No wonder the American team wins the Championship Cups, the Americans are financing the lion's share of it.
Vancouver is great if you've never lived there. Vancouver, I never want to go back to. For two reasons
- my weird family. They expect me to not only act as if I have seen my birth certificate but that I've seen it and that it connects to them. See, deconstructed, that's two different things. What a weird fake deceptive set up. I never asked for nor deserved any of it.
I haven't seen any of them for decades now, and it feels great. To quite Donald Trump,
"Toxic and won't be missed."
- the downtown eastside has let itself go in a way that is profound and not in a good way. It's a cruel and unusual punishment that I doubt fully passes the Geneva Convention. It gets worse and worse there every year. That neighborhood has sure run itself into the ground. Psychotic. Delinquent. Dysfunctional. Bonkers. Yeesh. That is supposed to be what passes as modern societal living in Vancouver. China is way way way better than Vancouver. China is spackling new, cutting edge, state of the art futuristic rock show while the crackpot downtown eastside of Vancouver is urban vomit in comparison.
Partially a product of several levels of gevernment flippancy, ignorance and mismanagement. Partially the choices the individuals of that strange twisted demographic makes for themselves.
Vancouver would just be a regression to some former erstwhile bullsh*t. Uh, no thanks. Anyone you meet while traveling is part of an expat travel adventure. Anyone you meet bsck in your old town is just another variable in an equation of regression.
The old town has way better infrastructure and heavenly vibes so it's difficult either way. Go back or never go back. Life in this dimension. Is it worth living? I'm not completely sure.
It's way more fun to live in either the United States or China than it is to live in either Canada or England. England only has one semi interesting town that somewhat worth visiting and that's London. Every other town in England is a backwater sh*hole that would be a waste of time to visit.
Europe or China would not work.
China with the tonal monosyllanic language and the pictographic semasiogrwphic writing system is a non starter.
Europe, the people on the Continent where its quite sophisticated, the English language isn't as much of a priority with them. England, where its, sigh, island living, speaks English, but with a different accent. So much so that the North American accent registers as an issue. Like they're the Lords of the Manor and were the hick colonialists. As if. The colonies have mainland living while England is island living. "Are you sure that's not projection?"
The quirky wonky US-Canadian sports dynamic where the States win all the Cups because they actually pay their athletes way more than Canadian athletes works really good for Canadian athletes. The NHL, the soccer league, the baseball league, the basketball league are an-American US-Canadian entities. Only the f*king CFL is a Canadian only entity. The CFL has four downs rather than three downs and the CFL used to have a lerger 110 yard field which has been recently rewritten to 100 yards, same as American football. A CFL contract player for life only gets a certain salary on average. Whatever it is. I'm not going to make up some figure.
Anyways, any athlete aligned to any pan American sports league set up's have the option to play for an American team with a quite considerable raise in salary. It's a pipe dream that CFL players simply don't have. I guess some CFL teams make it to the NFL but that takes more steps. They gotta resign, be a free agent or be in between contracts, but an American talent scout has to specifically recommend the athlete as well, so it's more convoluted, however it's possible, technically.
Being in a pan American team, winning a championship cup and partying in Miami or Los Angeles or New York is way better than being in the CFL, winning a championship cup and partying in what, Winnipeg? Saskatchewan? I'm sure Winnipeg is interesting but it's certainly not on the level of Las Vegas or LA or NY or Miami.
Defense against logic. Ad hominem attack. They know that I know that they know that they can't win the argument so they attack the person. Again it's the same species that can't decide whether to have stupid daylight savings time or not.
Well. A few days ago, last Wednesday and Thursday, I took quite a few T3s. 6 on Wednesday, 1 on Thursday. On Friday night, I felt a flu coming on but luckily, I knew what was happening as quite a few years ago, I mainlined heroin for a few days in a row and the same thing happened. You get a fake flu that's actually a result of opiate withdrawal.
More about this later.
In the street World, a person mainlines coke, but the part that's worth any money is gone
in about thirty seconds leaving a person to fight with themself, do I do another shot, no, I shouldn't. Etc
The dopamine surge that the cocaine initially causes reaches a half life and creates epinephrine which activates the HPA axis, big time. This is aka the sympathetic nervous system. The fear, the anxiety, the paranoia. I've known of people who mainlined coke and then went to the food line and were able to maintain, to look at them, you wouldn't know they were high. They must be superhuman. I could never do that. Cocaine is a very edgy drug.
To deal with the BS comedown of coke, a person needs to do heroin which is like a pharmaceutical magic eraser that erases all the paranoid edginess of the cocaine come down. But then a person can get an opiate induced flu if they do heroin.
To erase that, simply do a line of coke or better yet, use what I use. I drank coca leaf tea which took my usual expected duration of opiate induced flu from 8 hours down to 3 hours. On the television show Ghosts, Hetty Woodstone said that cocaine was the best cure for a cold. It wiped it away like magic. It was legal and used in her time in the 19th Century until the 1905 Harrison Act made it illegal.
I knew what was going on that day. Drinking coca leaf tea sure helped with the opiate induced flu.
To reiterate, on the street, do coke, then heroin and then a little bit of coke again. Hair of the dog that bit you.
Disclaimer: I strongly advise anyone from doing illegal white powder drugs. These drugs can do a real number on the body. And not a good one. And besides if you possess too much of it, that's illegal as well. Just say no.
The best way to live is clean and sober.
C and H are old school. Drugs connoisseurs have different drugs of choice. Namely the much more stronger and headier crystal meth and fentanyl. I never tried any of that. Those drugs are outside the ken of my knowledge, although they are today's standard.
I don't know and I don't want to know.
The best way to live is clean and sober.
Knowing England, they're probably going to send someone to kill me for writing about England. As if University professors haven't made that observation, heck, even before I was born.
How could someone who died before I was born visit me in a dream? They were quite famous people, the dream was quite vivid, and they looked right at me.
It is what it is. Sometimea people perceive something as a bad thing when it's actually a good thing.
"Poor but comfortable is rich, and rich enough." Shakespeare
Even with the populations of the different countries being what it happens to be, England and Canada has provided me with welfare and one can either act upon this gift with gratitude or entitlement. Some collect welfare, do nothing or worse, panhandle. I choose to sweep the streets when I'm not animating cartoons which is also a way of showing gratitude for the largesse that the government has provided me.
My observations about the different populations are worries rather than criticisms. I don't know what's going on.
There is in all likelihood, nothing to worry about. As Mark Twain said, As an old man, I have had many worries, few of them of which ever amounted to anything.
Keep calm and carry on?
I got a VR game for free on my meta plus subscription. It's called Townsmen VR. It's a world builder in the style of Smurfs Village and Smurfs Magical Meadow but without any of the gorgeous ornate artwork. It's more of a gothic project VS the baroque quality of the Smurfs based world builders.
I like world building but it needs to have variety and beauty.
The VR app Toy Trains had World building, a large canvas so to speak to work with, but the designs were annoyingly elementary, somewhat prosaic, well next to Smurfs Magical Meadows, and there wasn't nearly the variety of buildings, plants, animals etc etc etc that the Smurfs based world builders had.
This game is the same.
Complete the standard issue tasks on an island, quite repetitive once you get the hang of it. Space is limited and previously built building had to be torn down and rebuilt in another place to make sure all the buildings fit together like a jigsaw puzzle.
Completing the tasks of each island opens it up for free play. Build whatever on that island. There are six islands. Each time during the completion phase, a shop shows up to take you to the next island once the standard tasks are completed.
I wouldn't have paid money for this. For free, why not? I'm on the second island with the ship waiting to take me to the third island. Limited space, limited amount of buildings, graphics meh, mediocre.
Whatever.
A good movie is on. Colin Farrell goes to Macau to be a gambler. Since the odds are against a player, how could anyone be a gambler past a certain amount of time? They'd lose all their money.
Some games rely as much on skill than chance and some gamblers have a system. Casinos have long figured that out. "Oh, so they think they have a system."
The movie looks like The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugsr meets the world of dim sum.
Macau and Hong Kong are like Victoria BC and Sidney BC in that they take an hour to get to either way. Can a person walk to Macau from Hong Kong? I never heard of anyone doing that except for during whatever war years, I guess. People usually take some form of transportation. Even with the transportation, the two cities are about an hour's distance apart each way.
I wouldn't mind visiting China. I think that if it is His will, God will provide me with a chance to visit futuristic China. It wouldn't be like looking at YouTube videos where you can teleport from one city to another. Pick one city and stay there for awhile before moving on. Chongqing with the Ching caves which is the huge huge lighted old style Chinese building. It looks gorgeous during the day and even more spectacular at night. But I've already seen it on YouTube.
With VR goggles, I can punch up the image to scale so I could see it at the same size proportion that a tourist who is there would. So in a way I already went there.
Macau used to be rocking compared to old mainland China. But now, China is way more futuristic and rock show than Macau.
Macau seems to be like the Reno, Nevada or the Atlantic City of China. Major gambling towns but not exactly on the scale of Vegas which is on another level.
Is Vegas or Monaco the capital of gambling cities in the World? I'm not sure. Either are more upscale than Macau. But Macau isn't bad. Macau is still more futuristic and rock show than most of the West which is somewhat backwater and not as well maintained. Lots of delinquency and dissolution.
Toruist magazine said that Asians in Singapore, even when they are drunk, they are calm and orderly. You couldn't say that about the West. You probably could, for the most part. For the most part, people in the West attain a level of calmness that would rival even that of the most abstemious ascetics in Asia.
