Dean Noble's Rumplestiltskin
Once upon a time,
There was a man who was a wagoneer. He drove a wagon around to different places, met people, found whatever work he could and when he felt like it, he moved to another town. This man had a lovely daughter who was just about 18 years old. Thus, she was becoming old enough to leave her father. His father thought of a way to win his daughter's place in Society.
He decided to be no less audacious than to seek an audience with the King. He extracted a promise that his daughter could no less, spinnaker a spool of course yarn into gold thread. The King then said that she had better do this, or the man would be imprisoned and all his possessions impounded. And if she could not do this, then she would be banished from the Kingdom henceforth for getting so intensely involved with a Royal House. However, if she were to win, she would gain a Royal Title in the Household, for the King never heard of such a thing and surely anyone with such a gift ought to be granted Peerage.
For a second, the man thought that the King might kill him or his daughter when it turns out that she can not do this, but the he anticipated this, and triaged the situation, thinking that there were a lot worse scoundrels in the Kingdom and if the King were inclined to kill anyone who upset him, the streets would be littered with corpses.
Left in a room with a cow, some straw, some yarn, the daughter was left to her devices. She did not even bother to try. Instead, she cried and wondered aloud at what would happen to her.
However, at the time, there was an ET spaceship visiting the Earth. Medieval tapestries of the period show a strange light in the sky like a meteor. One of the ET who liked to collect people. The ET appeared and said "I will help you, but you have to promise me your unborn child, in the future." The woman agreed and thought that there may, in all likelihood turn out that she might never have a child.
The King was amazed when he saw the gold thread, and there was a lot of it, woven into gold bars. The gold thread was even condensed into gold bars.
The daughter was, a year later married to a Royal Prince. Much to her dismay, she was pregnant because she remembered the promise she made to that miserable little ET. She loathed the future prospects in all its grotesque possibilities. However, she did tell a few people about what went on, and because she was part of a Royal Palace, the Secret Police of the time, the Palace Guards who were Secret Police, regular Police, Royal Guard and gatherers of secrets at the time reported that a couple of days ago, there was indeed a grotesque green dwarf dancing around a fire singing,
They'll never expect, they'll never suspect
They'll never guess my bloody name because it's fucking Rumplestiltskin
"Rumplestiltskin." the daughter said.
"What?????!!!!!!!!" the hideous dwarf said, and with that, he vanished moving backwards through the window.
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