a comedy
The Legend of Chen San.
Narrator: January 2009. I am sitting in this small apartment that I have in the industrial district. I turned 40 last week. This morning, I stared out the window and remembered some schoolhood memories.
The name Chen San in Chinese, means "The Mountain That Is As Big As The Sky"
And that exactly describes my friend Chen San Bay who was larger than life. I knew him in the past, during those days in Vancouver when he and I went to a boarding school.
June 1978: I first met Chen San during a Summer Fun program. We were all on a field trip at the forests of UBC when Chen San made this profound observation:
"Jamie's ass is so round and smooth. Jamie's got the ass of Vancouver!"One day, during lunch hour, I was visiting Chen San when he held up a knife as if to attack me. He was just joking.
Chen San looks a lot like the actor Harold Ramis.
May 1982: One day, Chen San's friend Richard Lu, who people usually called Dick was at Chen San's place to trade him a few hockey cards for a tape deck.
"Dolby, not bad." Chen San said, as he looked over the tape deck.
When Richard returned to school, he saw a few people who approached him at the school halls and said, "You went to Chen San's to suck his cock, didn't you?"
Chen San was disgusted when he heard this story when it was later told to him because he liked only women.
October 1983: He often skipped out of classes to look for prostitutes in the inner city. As he so eloquently referred to so often, he really liked to look for prostitutes and "fuck them up the ass". He preferred a woman's anus to her vagina.
One time, he went downtown and one of the prostitutes that he had before walked up to him and said, "Remember me?"
Chen San was a big fan of Spandau Ballet and The Police which he used to listen to everyday when he was skipping out of school and looking for hookers.
Chen San used to always "go for hookers" and that used to piss off the gym teacher Mr. Vantz who knew that Chen San went for hookers.
He was fucking one of the prostitutes in his room one day when his sister came home, knocked on the door and said, "Little brother, do you want some noodles for lunch?"
June 1988: Now he is living on Miami Beach, Florida driving a blue convertible with white, soft leather seats and he rides around with as much as three girls all wearing bikinis. When I saw the movie Police Academy, and that Spanish guy, George Martin driving around those girls in the convertible, that reminded me of Chen San.
2009. I have not talked with Chen San for many years, and his destiny is unknown to me. His fate is as mysterious as his legend.
Soundtrack
Spandau Ballet - Communication
Note: Chen San was a big fan of Spandau Ballet and The Police which he used to listen to everyday when he was skipping out of school and looking for hookers.
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The name Chen San in Chinese, means "The Mountain That Is As Big As The Sky"
And that exactly describes my friend Chen San Bay who was larger than life. I knew him in the past, during those days in Vancouver when he and I went to a moderately rich, and ivy covered boarding school. The last I heard, since the late 80s, he is living on Miami Beach, Florida driving a blue convertible with white, soft leather seats and he rides around with as much as three girls all wearing bikinis. When I saw the movie Police Academy, and that Spanish guy, George Martin driving around those girls in the convertible, that reminded me of Chen San.
Chen San has since changed his name to some American souding name or other. He is mostly addressed as Mr. Bay in the Miami area when he encounters valets, maitre d's, and other people like that.
If Chen San ever writes to me or calls me from Miami Florida, I would think of moving down there and he could introduce me to some hookers and massage parlours.
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