6 am. Monday, May 6, 2019. My town. Awoke to the smell of smoke, like wood burning in a fireplace. A few days later and no sign of the maintenance man, Mike Draeger. That name reminds me of Donn Draeger the martial artist. The fire started in the basement and burned up, consuming 7 storeys! Anyone in the basement would be cinders, let alone a crispy critter. Unfindable. There were also reports of lights in the abandoned hotel, as there were people who were exercising their squatters rights. If any squatters died in the fire also, they would be unfindable as well. In the 50s to the 80s, they lined walls with asbestos, but that gave people lung diseases. I doubt the caretaker would ever be found. RIP "What do you mean nobody knows?!" The Empire Strikes Back
Ten minutes later, 6:10 am. It's being handled.
6;15 am.
Never scoring with the really beautiful women is depressing. It makes me want to give up on life altogether. A lot of beautiful women are prostitutes. Prostitutes are expensive. And I never heard of a prostitute in N America who doesn't have a major drug habit. Not scoring is depressing. But the other extreme would be somewhat depressing too. Say I was confined to a room where I had to have sex every day. 365 days a year, 366 days on leap years. No holidays ever. From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. No trips to restaurants, the Library, movie theatres, no watching blu rays or playing on the tablet. Every day sex sex sex. Whatever it takes. First I would have to use Viagra, then Cialis, then I would have to have an ergonomically sized whalebone, a baculum surgically inserted into my genital as a stent or else sexual neural prosthetic. At first there would be thick white goo, then water like coconut milk, then I'd be shooting blanks but still even then expected to go on, or else be shot.
I'd get a 15 minute break between women to rest recharge and recuperate. Three 30 minute beaks a day for meals and showering. There would always be a doctor for me to administer routine physical checkups, intramuscular multi vitamin shots, muscle relaxants and saline solution and a gynecologist for the women present and while at first the doctor for me was male and the Ob gyn for the women was female, over the years, I would have seen a few female doctors for me and a few male gynecologists for the women. And over the years I've seen doctors of all Nationalities. It got to the point where the first words a new doctor would say to me were that they wanted to see it for themselves. Although the longer this went on, the less likely any doctor would go along with it and simply report it to the Police. I would catch up on vital points of culture asking the women questions while having sex such as, "Who is the current Prime Minister?"
Eventually the probability and statistics catch up to me and I get a few women pregnant, but that'd be their problem, not mine. And then consistent with mathematics, eventually possibly perhaps be picking up a plethora of sexual diseases including AIDS, but even then, to keep the pot stirring, be expected to go on as they would then be trucking in a steady stream of women who are HIV positive. These days, it's not that big a deal as it once was. It's a once a day pick instead of the multi pill cocktail. And they're close to making a treatment that stops HIV positive people from infecting others. My cock would be chafed and raw and red but I'd still be expected to go on. Naked 24 hours a day, sex, sometimes with multiple women. No stopping, ever. Avengers Endgame? Too bad. I have to miss that and go on with my enforced Kafkaian existence of perpetual copulation and whatever other imbroglios. The novelty would wear off fast, and the point is, such an existence in its own weird way would be just as depressing, eventually as the not scoring. Too much women. Women have a bewitching presence. I would be overwhelmed! The dynamic would change. What was once an escape is now a trap. I'm obsessed with women. Obsession along with not scoring makes me want to give up on life and ditch this tawdry set of worries tied to the physical physics of this dimension. There are a lot of cognitive biases regarding women. Seeing a woman for only a brief second often makes her look much more beautiful than if you have a good long hard look. It's either envy or schadenfreude. Looks can be caricatured and even the most beautiful Hollywood actresses get caricatured. After two weeks, they get tired of looking at your face. If you think she's cute now, you should've seen her two years ago. Another is the cheerleader effect, how a woman will look better walking, flocking with a group of other women more than they do walking alone. That only works to a certain age. An old woman won't look better hanging around a group of other old women. She wouldn't look worse either, though. People who are older don't walk around in flocks like young people do.
Worries about women are gut wrenching. I love them all. Like Eugene Levy said on SCTV, I love them young, aged 20 and older, and I love them old, prime granny porn. Who doesn't? I heard of a few guys in my hotel brought hookers back to the hotel. I never heard of any women in my hotel bringing back any gigolos from off the street. No way a woman would think, hmm, you're unemployed, a drug addict, I only just met you and don't know you but let's have sex and I'll give you money for it. No. But a guy for sure would fuck a beautiful prostitute even if she's was unemployed, a drug addict and a stranger, none of those things has been an issue for most men. It's a double edged sword. If a guy brings back a prostitute, he's a stud. If a woman brings back a gigolos, she's a slut. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Words like loser are there to shame a lot of guys into action. Guys are naturally lazy when it comes to romance. A lot of guys don't want to score, there are disadvantages tied to that, committment, don't get her pregnant, love and relationships is work and costs money.
Incidentally, while we're on the topic, the place that burned this morning is an abandoned stripper bar. It had lots of naked women dancing there. Going to stripper bars cost some money and it's a bus ride away. That's why I don't go. Too lazy and too burned out. It's somewhat depressing to look at women I never score with. Go there, leave alone. Again, more depression. Just a tease. Look. Why don't I just give up on life altogether? My life is devoid of hope.
I'll never be a father. That ship has sailed.
Photos: Top, 12:00 pm. Bottom: 1:22 pm
HRH Prince Harry and Princess Megan Markle have brought a new Royal baby into this World. Congratulations.
The fire started at 5:30 this morning. The same time that the newest of Royal babies was born.
My guess as to the name. Harry. Like Harry Connick Jr.. Harry Windsor Jr.. Has a nice ring to it.
Or like King George V, and King George VI.
Movies wishlist. Peppermint. The Bookshop. A Private War.
GMO glow in the dark animals. Real, not CGI. Gene splicing. This could be done to marijuana plants. Glow in the dark marijuana buds. It wouldn't surprise me.
Museum of Post Natural History is a museum all about animals that have been altered. GMOs, hybrids, etc.
New York artist Sam Van Aken created through chip grafting, a tree of 40 fruits in bloom with the different colours and reactions. This only works on droupe type of fruits, peaches, pears, plums, apricots, cherries, almonds, etc. Not a true GMO in the DNA sense of the word as the different branches were grafted on some time after seed germination*.
*Source: 10 Interesting Facts That Almost Nobody Knows #2 or 10 IFTANK #2 from uploader, Think Fact.
Cost of one of these trees: $100,000. Reminds me of Smurfs Village, tie dyed trees.
There is no such thing as existence. One is only ever co-opted. When living, the forces of life have co-opted them. When dead, the afterlife has co-opted them. Maybe a person's own personality has co-opted them. Sure a set of instincts and conditioned reflexes from the physics of this dimension co-opted how they would otherwise act with the holographic teleportation physics of the dreamworld/ afterlife. That's the essence of suicide. First this dimension co-opted them. Then their personality co-opted them to commit suicide or is it the other way around?. Anyways, then at that point, the afterlife co-opted them.
If I decides to quit life, I'll get the funeral detail, the forensic morgue detail, etc but that's just the geometric coordinates of the algorithm of the physics of this dimension playing itself out. That's just window dressing. It's just a means to an end. I would then be in the catbird's seat. I don't want to be a loser but I'm not sure that I want to be a winner either. Any way you slice it, winner or loser, it's work. Life would be tawdry, being a winner or loser. I would still, at this point, very much like to quit life altogether. I've lived enough. I'm tired of living. I envy the dead. Better a wanted death than an unwanted life. Heroin. Overdose. Or else Angel of death.
The human species is a work in progress at best and a defective species at worst.
I'm on a budget. In the past, there were few movies that everybody was talking about. Star Wars, ET, Avatar, Titanic, Jurassic Park. Avengers Endgame is one of them. I opted not to see Avengers Endgame. I saw other Avengers movies and the plotlines were confusing. Avengers Endgame is a pastiche of plotlines from at least two movies, Guardians of the Galaxy, Avengers Ultron, Iron Man like some chicken nuggets is a conglomeration of meat from a few different chickens. I will try to watch it for free. It was spoiled for me. **** *** dies. But they could retcon the movie so he lives on for future movies or else somehow, he miraculously didn't die. We just thought he did. Stark reasoning prevails. I am waiting to get it on DVD. When I watch a movie on DVD, I get subtitles, I like to play on the tablet and watch listen to the movie. Do that a few times and then actually watch the movie. That way, you can understand the movie completely. That's why I'm going to get Stockholm on DVD and didn't see it in the theatres. I only go to the theatre to watch a movie if it's one I've been waiting years to see. Sequel or prequel movies mainly. Although occasionally there will be a good original run movie that would spawn sequels. Stockholm doesn't seem likely to spawn a sequel any more than any movie about a bank robbery that happened only just once. I made a cartoon with Noomi Rapace and Ethan Hawke and they're in the movie Stockholm which is what made me want to see the movie. Stockholm is about the Stockholm syndrome named after a city in which the bank robbery was held. The Stockholm syndrome where captives sympathize with their captors. Devil's advocate. Life can be wretched. Blu rays are unreliable on my two machines. Blu Ray players don't like to be run for more than 5 hours in a row without a rest. They overheat and refuse to play Blu rays even after internal cleaning with a spray can of air and a liquid lens cleaner. Maybe I need to update it again but I did that only last month.
Today, I thought about my daughter, Herbessa.
No money, no honey. How about no life altogether? What if I opt to give up on life altogether? Would that be an option? Could it be? I don't want the cheese, I just want to get out of the trap.
Lie is like a job that's not working out. I quit the job.
Smurfs Village. Friday, May 10, 2019
