Monday, December 10, 2018

Royal BC Museum Egypt Exhibit Treasures of The Nile / Treasures of Denial



More Select Images from the Royal BC Museum Egypt Exhibit.

From Wednesday, December 12, 2018 visit.







































Reprinted from an earlier posting: There is an Egypt exhibit at the Royal BC Museum. I went to see it. I never saw real Egyptian artifacts before and I was amazed. Humankind has been around for a very long time. One feature I read about and saw was that the statues were extremely symmetrical, down to the micromillimetre. Now we're talking about a culture that's about 4,000 years old. How did they do that?


People in London see that all the time as there is an Egypt exhibit on permanent display at the British Museum. They even have some King Tut artifacts including the gold mask.



The Egyptians regarded the crocodile and the alligator as a royal animal. First of all, crocodiles and alligators predated dinosaurs. They first developed during the devonian or the swamp era, the eocene era and that predated the tree eras or the precambrian and cambrian eras and the dinosaur eras, the jurassic, triassic and cretaceous eras. Then the crocodile and alligator survived the meteor strike that wiped out virtually all other life on Earth, certain all of dinosaur life and any animal that could do that has to be royal on some level. The Egyptians must have intuited these things about the crocodiles and alligators.
I've seen alligators and crocodiles in dreams. Usually in swimming pools and usually super big. They have the PMH Atwater Master Vibration and thus appear super sized.
Currently, the Earth is experiencing the anthropocene era. I learned this term from googling 'the science of the Walking Dead'. As it seems, alive or not; as zombies, as long as the Earth is covered with humans, it is going through some sort of anthropocene era.
















History. That's what the Royal BC Museum is all about. Monday, December 10, 2018



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The Museum of Vancouver














On Google Maps Street view, one can tour the Vancouver Museum. It is like entering a slice of heaven. If you know the vibes of the place, it is indeed heaven. There is no tour of the Royal BC Museum nor is there a tour of the Maritime Museum in Vancouver, The St Roch nor is there a tour of the Museum of Anthropology in Vancouver, that museum is a slice of heaven too. Maybe one day in the future there will be. I was in sheer absolute heaven when I visited The Vancouver Museum on Google Street view.




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More images from the Royal BC Museum Egypt exhibit. And a picture from Miniature World in Victoria BC. The following images were photgraphed on Thursday, December 13, 2018











































That is a great exhibit. The statues look really mysterious and powerful. Below is another statue from a different exhibit. More of the same. The angle in which the picture is taken is a secret hidden in plain sight. Or is it? Maybe it's just delusions. These pictures have no different feature than the pictures that anyone else could have taken at the Museum.

"I don't know where you get your delusions, laserbrain." Princess Leia, STAR WARS The Empire Strikes Back





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I'm into improvised funk disco dancing. I make up the moves. You feel the music. Visualize a light purple sky, white clouds, silhouettes of palm trees, a disco ball. It can be a thousand different connected moves or it can all be one move. My influence in dancing is Jerry Agala. He was a student who was in my grade who went to the high school that I went to. He is Philippino or else Pinoy. That guy is a genius. Once he was dancing and someone said, "Those people over there are studying him." I wonder if he's still into dancing. Perhaps. A lot of people from high school get married and then they quit whatever they were into when they were in high school. I hope that's not the case.
I've reached the point where I want to stop. But can't. Like Michael Sembello said, "She has crossed into the danger zone When the dancer becomes the dance." Maniac





The songs I used for this video were, Princess - Say I'm Your Number One, and then, Gwen Guthrie - It Should Have Been You






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Friday, December 14, 2018


























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Saturday, December 15, 2018




















Queen Victoria, of whom the fine city is named after.





























This reminds me of the inside of a UFO. Aliens. That's if you believe that. I always said, Aliens is a form of Freudian wish fulfillment.



Tuesday, December 18, 2018

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Friday, December 21, 2018




Saturday, December 22, 2018
Sunday, December 23, 2018 I am planning to send a gold crate to each member in my Walking Dead guild. I don't know why the hell I'm doing it. I've given up. It's better to have no girlfriend than to spend your energy in bullshit waste of time situations. Go to see this lady where when works. Drop in centre. 1 year later, 2 years later, still in the friend zone. That's the shits. That's the cans. Cat's ass. I'd rather die outright of a heroin overdose than to spend my time in bad energy pockets. I did that in my 20s. I spent time visiting the workplace of two ladies. For months, maybe years. I never got to date them. What a collosal waste of time. However, as it turns out, I haven't seen them at all for the good part of 15 years. Good riddance. I don't miss them. Out of sight, out of mind. False hope is worse than no hope at all. The last year there was at least two bullshit situations I got to cut out.Go to some place every week where some girl works. It'll wind up that years later I'm still in the friend zone. Hasn't that already happened to some extent? That's contemptible.
Someone on Twitter once said, "I don't have time for useless acquaintances, meaningless interactions and waste of time friendships that go nowhere.
I wouldn't do that for any woman.
That's my New Year's Resolution. No going to bullshit waste of time situations where you're still in the friend zone years later. That's much worse than not having a girlfriend.
That lets her off the hook, and it lets me off the hook as well.


Felicity Jones who was in a STAR WARS movie is now starring in a new movie as Darth Vader, I mean Ruth Bader Ginsburg.



Come for the Wall. Stay for the chimichangas. It's not just a wall, it's a theme park.
US President Donald Trump border wall. GoFundMe. Isnt that conflict of interest. Or else obtaining political finances from illicit sources. GoFundMe would pay President Donald Trump for the wall, except that it contravenes about 17 international fiduciary laws pertaining to collusion,and conveyance. GoFundMeGate. Politicians in Europe and other places had to resign for corrupt financial practices for procuring funding from unorthodox means. Oh Donald, Donald, Donald....
Remember Berlin, the airlift, East Bloc, West Bloc, the DMZ? Yeah well the US and Mexico will be like that. It'll be like "Ich bin ein Berliner." meets "That stuff sold out faster than ten dollar ass in TJ!" and "No one slings crystal in the Southside but me, bitch!!!" Fulminated mercury.
Tuco Salamanca
Brandenburg Gate meets the Rio Grande.
GoFundMe would never work out for me. Other people put their drawing up on Twitter and they'd get hundreds, or thousands of likes. I was lucky to get even one but often when I drew a picture of a celebrity, I'd get one like but the like was from the celebrity themself! I got a like from Sam Witwer, Gwendoline Christie, and possibly Mark Hamill. So I guess Twitter wasn't that bad. Even if I was able to pull down some serious coin on GoFundMe, if I didn't report it, wouldn't I get charged with tax evasion? Forget GoFundMe.
If Reagan was alive, would he say, "Mr Trump, tear down this wall!"
CNN said that Trump's wall would be 550 miles long instead of the entire 2,200 mile border. The GoFundMe raised 1 billion dollars. The Vancouver Skytrain line cost a few billion to build and that was back then so a billion today wouldn't get you that much wall. The News makes things seem worse than it is. The Rio Grande floods. So much so that NASA has an entire webpage that talks about just that. The wall is to keep floods out. They don't really need a wall to keep migrants out. The Minute Men do that.


US government shut down. Government employees not getting paid. That will get him re-elected!
The US government shutdown over the US/Mexico wall is like a Mexican standoff.
Trump runs the US government like he ran his casinos. A lot of workers not getting paid. #chapter11
Clinton and Obama were the hippie or yippy Presidents. Trump is the yuppie President but the worst iteration of yuppie; think Gordon "greed is good" Gecko and/or James Woods; Jake Wise in Against All Odds; "Don't let this punk beat you. It can still work. The trainer, the lawyer and the player cheating on the fix."
After the yuppie President, coming down the pike, there will be the Gen-X President, and one day, the Millennial President.
January 5, 2018. 'Trump say safety net for unpaid employees is a strong border.' What a joke! What can you say? Bread not circuses.
Trump can be a narcissistic, egotistical troublemaker.

"It is better in politics to be feared than to be loved, but not to the point of being hated." Nicolo Machiavelli, The Prince

Trump is prepared to declare Emergency Measures. Interesting. The World War 2 guy declared Emergency Measures Act too. Canadian PM Pierre Trudeau's declared a War Measures Act. Trump's wording is closer to the WW2 guy than they do to Pierre Trudeau's. This will go over well. 2019 promises to be an interesting year for those living in the States.



Here's wishing you a happy and safe festive Christmas. I plan to spend Christmas with my sweetness. The sweetness of Beebs. I haven't been the best person and I will try to be better next year. There's always room for improvement. We're in this together. One more Christmas and we'll be in touch the 2020s. How's your 20/20 vision or else what's your 2020 vision?

Saturday, December 8, 2018

Dean Noble at the Royal BC Museum Egypt exhibit

Me at the Royal BC Museum Egypt exhibit.





Interesting how the white van is behind making it look like a uh, Royal stagecoach? The timing of that was sublime. Saturation haunting. If a person, ghost you saw in a dream was true, you will get constant signs of it throughout life. Signs, related coincidences etc.


This is me visiting the Egypt exhibit. I had to keep the pictures as few as possible as the Security Guards were looking right at me! There was a lot of artifacts. Some of them were Royal.
Posting photos on social media is like text messages. More than three sentences, you're pushing it.

Sascha Baron Cohen is a chief security guard on 'Who Is America?' On that show he talks about a hormone that deviants and perverts emit called 4 Ddht. This hormone can be detected on a device that looks like a standard metal detector that is wave over an individual. I wonder if the security guards there have a device like this. What if a security guard had to say to someone with an annual pass to the Museum, "We're going to have to cancel your annual pass and ban you from here permanently. Our 4 D D H T detector detected an unusually high amount when you were standing near that group of school students. We run the detector on everyone who visits the museum as a security precaution. I gotta tell you. I've worked as a security guard here for a long time and ran the test on a lot of people but not only did you register with flying colors, the result could only be described as profound. That's disturbing."
One week later: "We decided to reinstate your pass after we determined that it was a false reading."











I got this notebook from the gift shop. There were others but I went with this one for the dreamworld DMT shamanic entity, book of the dead look about it.





"What is Seth?" Is what a ghost of my friend asked me. She was hemiplegic. In the dream I jumped into the street and sank down and swam in the street like it was water. Not the sidewalk, the street pavement between sidewalks where cars drive on. Then I Rose up out of a floor, again it was like water, to see the ghost of my hemiplegic friend. She was in perfect health, no hemiplegia. She was sitting on a bed wearing a white sweatshirt. Clean white. With a soft halogen white Halo around her head. It wasn't a ring suspended above her head as popularly depicted. It was a solid white circle that framed her head like in some Medieval paintings. She said, "What is Seth?" In cosmology, Seth is the destructive constructive principle. A good thing arising from a bad thing.
We know

The diving in the street and then coming up from the floor of her room was a symbolic omen. At the time I had the dream I was living in the same town as her. Then I moved to another town for 5 years. Then at one point I returned to the town she was in for a month. Then I moved on again. I hope I get cleared for take-off again one day. Hopefully to England. I'd never return.


"It is much more difficult to pretend that you have feelings for someone when you don't than to pretend that you don't have feelings for them when you do." The Lobster


Thursday. December 20, 2018: Hypnagogic voices are the worst. Just before falling asleep in that state in between awake and asleep, I get voices like most people do if they pay attention. On Friday night December 14, a voice, "Bitch!" But it was extended like bee-itch. The next day I find out someone, a man, died falling off a bridge drunk, in my town. Then last night, December 19, 2018, "boy!". Then it occurred to me either is a derogatory term for a gender. On this day, I got the News that Penny Marshall died. Obverse; hypnagogic voice says bitch on the day a guy dies. Hypnagogic voice says boy on the day a lady dies.
"Bad Deadpool. Good Deadpool." Obverse.
The movie Oculus talks about causation or correlation? Wouldn't it be that on any given day thousands of people of either gender die, and that's whether I hear a hypnagogic voice or not? I was thinking of going to a Catholic Church and getting exorcised. Sometimes the words that the hypnagogic voices say are creepy. But a Priest might think I'm crazy or else totally lack all knowledge and ability to do an exorcism. But if a demon is haunting me, I'd be doing bad things to people involuntarily all the time and that certainly isn't the case, otherwise I'd have been busted already.


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"You can wear the gown to hell, Eddie." Crazy Rich Asians
Jeez, I didn't know that He'll had any sartorial requirements. I thought it was a come as you are kind of place.



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The value of life is limited. Life is a limited algorithm but even value itself is an algorithm. All of it limited.


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In a few years, they'll have a talking app that if it hears me say, "My life is going nowhere. My luck with women is awful. Maybe I should end my life. Suicide baby that's the way to do it get some heroin and get down to it." Then the app would say over the speaker, "Come on! Get it together man! I'm a tablet and my luck with women was worse than yours but you don't hear me talk about ending my life."
The AI machine might say something cryptic and off the wall like, "On the Joe Rogan Show, Elon Musk once said that it was the limbic system that runs the show. At the end of the day, even if you're a Nobel Prize winning physicist for NASA, at the end of the day you want the women and the good food, good champagne, hot tubs etc." But the thing is, I don't even have a limbic system. Do you ever hear me complain about that?"

I'd rather be dead than jealous. In this dimension one has to deal with pain, growing old and death. In the other dimension, there's also jealousy but otherwise no pain, no old age, no death. So in this dimension the added element of jealousy is the straw that breaks the camel's back.




In the other dimension people were jealous of me when they saw me walking with a famous blonde newscaster in a dream that I had. I was walking with her outside of a brick building, probably a small town News station. I sensed that these other people were rich people so it's even more extraordinary that they'd envy me! But the jealousy wasn't the kind that fucked them up. I sensed it was the jealousy that built them up, enhanced them, made them stronger and they came some distance to see me and if it included being jealous of me, to them, so much the better. That's jealousy in its PMH Atwater Master Vibration's perfected form, the way it was meant to be. I've only ever known the debilitating kind of jealousy.






"Human conditioning is quickly shrugged off in the second state." Robert Monroe


Because everything is happening at the same time as Einstein said, those funky dreams, those funky Royal dreams I had years ago, on one level, they are happening right now. Dolores Cannon said she was talking to Nostradamus. She said, "Don't think he was a ghost floating around. I was talking to him while he was alive, living in his time. I'm starting to figure out how this time thing works."

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On the News it said a lady from Colombia would be deported on Christmas Eve. If she goes back, she faces dangers. If it were me, I might entertain thoughts of going to Main and Hastings while my visa is still valid and score some heroin and overdose. If the life could fuck me around this much why not turn, on the very forces of life itself? Then I would reflect that in all probability, I would score the heroin off of a street dealer also from my country who, ironically, unlike my non-drug dealing self, is somehow allowed to stay on in Canada and faces no deportation on Christmas Day of all days which is the finals insult.
If it's a country that would do that to her, is it a country she would really want to stay in, anyways?
On Christmas Day. This kind of strange timing is nothing new to the Canadian government as the Scientific Director of nuclear isotopes was fired at midnight.
If the News doesn't want people to remember these weird disturbing stories, why do they report them in the first place? Very rarely does the News give 100% of the stories. And We're left to ask ourselves, what else didn't they tell us?

Update: She won't be deported. The Immigration Minister personally intervened in the case.


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December 17, Monday. News. Man viciously attacks woman in elevator. Woman tells Police that the man was a stranger who entered the elevator attacked her and took her cell phone. Police believe the man was known to her and that there was an earlier meeting in his apartment. You don't need to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out what this is about. Woman was prostitute who lied so as not to get busted for soliciting. Man took cell phone because his name and phone number was on it. Woman took money and then refused to do whatever. This is a most likely theory.
Also over the weekend, two separate late night early in the morning break ins at homes of two different women. One sexually assaulted. I hope the Police catch them. If I were the Prime Minister, I would say, "Execution!"
Upon execution, say " The world is a bad enough place without people like you in it. There's no room for people like you in this world. Execution!"


Thursday, November 29, 2018

December 2018 - Christmas Parties




Me, Tuesday December 4, 2018 From my Acer Iconia Tablet. I'm rich. Petit bourgeois. I have two tablets.



Friday December 7, 2018. From my Samsung Tablet. Galaxy Tab A.


I'm not going to any Christmas parties that I know of. I hated it at work when someone would go to a coworker standing next to me and tell them they were invited to a party. Implying that I wasn't. I worked it all out. In backwaters where anything and everything is scarce, all of a sudden, some backwoods house party seems to be more of a commodity than it is in reality. There are parties and there are parties. The parties are much better in Bangkok and I doubt that any party anyone could conjure up in a backwater town would be as good, let alone better than parties in New York, or Bangkok.
If you're already going to a hundred parties a year, one more party, one less party, what's the difference?
If you never go to parties, why would one party all of a sudden make a difference?
A party in the 80s and a party today are totally different. When you walked into a room at a party in the 80s, people were talking to each other for the most part. Now you go to a party and people are looking down at the cell phones waiting for a message that details the time and place of the next party where they can do the same thing all over again. Wash rinse repeat.
Parties are often saturated with booze and that would be a premium for those who already like to drink. But if someone is that dialed in to their alcoholism, drinking at a party, drinking at home, what's the difference? Anyways, what if you're not all that much into drinking? Well, that's one less reason to go to a Christmas party.
"There's always one more son of a bitch than you accounted for." Murphy's Law
Police would probably tell you that every year, there is a minimum percentage of their calls that are Christmas party related. Someone flips out, yelling, at a party. And just before that, the people at that party bragged to their friends that they were going to a party. But that's in the worst case scenario.
Go to a party make the classic party mistake. Drunk, horny, bored. There's a lady who looks good. Get it on. Now you decided that you didn't like all that much and want to break off the relationship. Classic.
Saturday Night Live, the dysfunctional family Christmas. All Christmases are dysfunctional.
Someone mentioned a Christmas party the other day. Sometimes mentions are omens. Maybe one day I'll go to a Royal Christmas party, with Prince William wearing a red Christmas sweater standing next to Rhianna. Dream on.
Parties are stressful events. Before the party, worry about what you're going to wear, making sure every strand of hair is in place. "Are they going to notice how I look?" Bullshit, everybody there will be worried about how they themselves, respectively, will look.
"The people of Minnesota were asking themselves whether they voted for the right ex-professional wrestler as Governor." Dennis Miller

Because on any given night during the Christmas season, there could be as many as 300 Christmas parties in this town, so for every Christmas party you're going to in this town, you're essentially, at the same time, not going to the 299 other X-Mas parties in town so inevitably, at one point during a party, one could wonder, "Am I at the right party?" Being at some mediocre party is to being at a better party what being at no party is to being at any party at all, even one that is most likely to be an awful one.
There's always either too much drugs at a party or else not enough.
If you're not going to any Christmas parties, know that you're not alone. I'm probably not going to any Christmas parties that I know of this year.

Christmas parties means there are no real answers. I try to get answers to the people and places I see in my dreams, but it's useless, as most of the human species reflexively reverts to regressive bronze age anachronistic cosmologies called religions. 'Religion divides, Spirituality unites'.

This isn't a case of sour grapes. It's a case of peripheral empirical facts that can't be ignored.

On one level, Christmas is some weird fucking thing. Garish festival with cultural compulsions to spend money. On another level, it's just another day.

"Those aren't faults. They're character traits." Linus speaking to Lucy, Charlie Brown





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"Culture is not your friend." Terence McKenna


"Why so serious?" Joker, Batman The Dark Knight

Michelin Restaurants. No Michelin starred restaurants in Canada. Not even a one star restaurant? Not even in Quebec? How sanctimoniously presumptive. What can you say about that? They are either a very serious organization or a very frivolous one. No Michelin stars in Canada, either they got something against Canada, something hard-ass and political, or else they're just a bunch of addled flakes, little more than a glorified rarefied clique of culinary crack-pots. They'll pick restaurants and rate them just out of some arbitrary whim. Most of the ratings are judgement calls. Like all cults they like to make it up as they go along. Even anonymous squalid hole in corner street hawker vendor in some Southeast Asian country gets a Michelin star but no restaurants in Canada. Again, frivolous bullshit.
Well Michelin is a company that makes tires. And tire biters are known for their culinary prowess when it comes to fine dining, just like truckers who stop at certain truck stops and not others are known for their exemplary discernment of haute cuisine. To associate tire making with restaurant food rating is too weirdly synonymous. Would blue collar proletariats who make tires in factories and/or their overseers, managers, otherwise be known for their gastronomic and culinary discernment? Are they usually?

There are Michelin starred restaurants in countries with less population, less GNP and, obviously, less land area than Canada. But there are no Michelin star restaurants in Canada. There has been no Canadian NHL Team winning a Stanley Cup since 1994. That creates and artificial scarcity that artificially inflates the United States. Is it a case of no Michelin Stars and no Stanley Cup in Canada because Canada is supposedly a backwater or is it a case of Canada is supposedly a backwater because of no fucking Michelin stars and no piddlin' Stanley Cup? I actually don't care about either of those incidental incremental cultural anomalies. What counts for me in Canada is the marijuana legalization and ironically, I get a bigger government pension living here in the colonies from BC welfare than what I've been told I'd otherwise be getting in London England if I was on the same welfare plan, that is dole from the NHS.
There are three kinds of countries. Monarchies, Republics and Commonwealth countries. Monarchies are the most powerful. Then Republics. And then Commonwealth countries. Even so, Singapore is a Commonwealth country and they give a Michelin star to street hawkers there. The answer to this has to deal with the strange murky troubled nature of France-Quebec relations. It's all arbitrary cult icons. Why 3 stars and not 4 or 5 like most other normal rating systems. Why stars and not thumbs up etc? Would it be something to be taken seriously?



Is getting ratings from some weird effete restaurant review cult on which basis is subjective anyways or getting trophies in a puerile arena sport supposed to be what passes for cultural privilege? What a nebulous adjudication.


Michelin gives no stars to any Canadian restaurant. Not even one star. But this is what they give 3 stars to. A Japanese restaurant in Tokyo. You got to make reservations 3 months in advance. $350 for 17 pieces of sushi. The star chef is nearly 100 years old. When you get there, they pick the seating arrangement. It's a set menu which means you don't decide on what sushi you will be having for dinner. They decide it. All of it. All 17 pieces of it. You have to eat the sushi within 30 seconds or it's taken away. Michelin gives that restaurant 3 stars because that restaurant is culty, just like Michelin is culty. Crazy.izarre. But meanwhile, in Canada, we're still expected to take them seriously?


Other companies make tires just as good if not better than Michelin, such as Pirelli, Goodyear, Yokohama, Riken, Nitto. But unlike Michelin, they don't branch out into weird hyper extraneous dilettante bullshit like furtively, surreptitiously dropping in to restaurants on the sly not telling anyone in case they decide not to give the restaurant any stars, how anal, and secretly rating them while eating there meanwhile for some reason systematically avoiding completely restaurants of entire countries just to advance their bizarre in-house, stylized nebulous political, cultural and/or sociological agenda.
Michelin shouldn't visit Canada. What. Would they be legally required to? In other words, Michelin, Don't put yourself out on our account. Don't do us any fucking favors.
A lot of people said a lot of things about Michelin. What's one more? Who would I be to them? I didn't and wouldn't have mentioned any names specifically. If they come back at me with an ad hominem attack, that would merely underscore that while I may have failed on an individual level, they failed on a collective level.



Since Michelin won't visit Canada, would we in Canada or anywhere else still be actually expected to take them seriously?


"If this good-looking broad was burying her husband in Vegas, not bringing him home, not letting Jordan's kids come to the funeral, then she had a few joker's to hide." Mario Puzo, Fools Die. If Michelin is eschewing Canadian restaurants and otherwise fine hoser haute cuisine, then Michelin has a few joker's to hide.


It's not upsetting that Michelin restaurant reviewers are Canada dodgers. You'd have to actually care about their opinion for it to be upsetting. It's just baffling and funny.



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I quit cartoons because it simply wasn't working out for me at all. It isn't just about doing something. It's a package deal of doing something and expecting something in return for it. I did the cartoons. I was expecting some kind of money. I got no money for my cartoons whatsoever. Not even one dollar. Not even one cent. When something isn't working out, the best thing is to quit. I would quit life if I could if I could magically just die without committing suicide. Especially if I'm not making any money from it but other people are. Then that makes life less worth living. I would rather live a short life free than to live a long life where I'm doing good artwork or good writing. I'm an articulate eloquent writer. But I get no money for that either. Not even a dollar. I'd like to die. But could I do it? The News said a record number of people in the US in the last year committed suicide. Maybe if I knew the conditions of their life, I might say that I couldn't blame them. If my life was as fucked up as theirs, I'd do it too. I wouldn't say it was the best thing that could have happened to them, but I don't know if it's the worst. I would rather have been killed outright years ago than to live a life where I'm doing this much artwork and this much writing and then getting no money for it. Sure it would have been a weird and interesting day, but it would have long since been gotten over with and I wouldn't have been exploited. I wish my mother had lived and I had died. It's A Wonderful Life but wouldn't life had been just as wonderful if my mother lived and all the lives she would have changed for the better? One thing is that if she was ever a talented writer or an artist, she would have been able to make some money at it. That's why it's a tragedy that she died and I lived. What about my mother?
The other day, I thought I'd live to 86. That's highly unlikely. The odds are against it. Men of my income bracket usually die between aged 57 - 68. The ideal is I live to 86 but the reality will probably work out to 68 because that's the average for people in my income bracket. The vast majority of them. That gives me about 20 years to go. But what if I go a lot sooner? Maybe it's better that than to do a lot of good art, talented art that no everybody could do and then wind up getting no money for it. That's what you get from the human species. God damn this egregious pernicious species. They ripped me off. To the point where I'm wondering if I wouldn't be better off dead. It's better to be dead than to be a slave. That is a sentiment from the Roman times when a lot of slaves actually did commit suicide, preferring that to a life of slavery. Could you blame them? I certainly couldn't.

What triggered this article was a television ad about a bunch of people at a Japanese restaurant eating noodles. I saw that as a metaphor that they're making money off of my brainwork. Don't ever lose that imagination. Maybe it is a metaphor for people getting intellectual sustenance from the knowledge I've provided over the years.

I'm deleting this article in awhile. Too spurious. Money solves nothing. Money makes one merely from being bored to preoccupied which is not the same as from unhappy to happy. Money can create a weird chain of events, some problem that otherwise wouldn't have happened if you didn't have the money. A lot of rock stars lived surreal excessive life styles then died young. I wonder if they would have been better off had they stayed that anonymous gas station attendant or whatever job that they had before they were famous.


Money will only take you so far. Crazy will get you the rest of the way.



All worries are cancelled out by other worries. There's a lady you like, but you're worried that you're not good enough for her. That has a way of shifting to, you actually do get her, it doesn't turn out to be as good as you expected and now you're worried about how to ditch her and find another girlfriend, or worries that she'll be stalking you. Things change. There's a lady you like but what if in a few months she moves to another job, another town. Things can change very quickly. There are two kinds of problems in life, not getting what you want and getting what you want. How do I know I'll still be in town in another couple of years, certainly ten years? Actually, in my adult life, I've never stayed in one town for more than ten years, for even ten years. Something happens and I move on. It's kind of like a jinx with me. All worries are useless. Besides, I figure I got about another good 20 years to go and I can either spend that worrying or not. There's infatuation and there's infatuation. I've had infatuations with women so intense that after meeting her, I had to uh, relieve myself within 5 minutes of getting back to my apartment. And with others, there wasn't that.. Representation by population. Is that like infatuation with masturbation? Or infatuation without masturbation?
My friend showed me pictures of strippers he got it on with. I never got it on with strippers. Just neighbourhood girls who were common and plain. But to me they were beautiful. Sure, the ideal is I get it on with young blonde strippers. But the reality is, I've been looking at granny porn for the last 30 years. I even told him this. I also told him that we're all points on the curve and whatever point on the curve we're on, there's thousands of others who are on the same point or worse. Also I had problems over the years with performance anxiety that even included the performance itself. John Cusack, Better Off Dead. Sometimes I wonder if I'm better off dead? I'd still be meeting women in the after life but under a different and better set of physics.
I envy successful people but I also envy people who were losers but they died young. I think I got another 20 - 30 years to go but if they're all loser years, I'd really rather it be 20. Life as a loser is worthless. A lot of people never came up with half the answers I did but they got an early reprieve because the rest of their life was otherwise slated to be all loser years. How come I didnt die young? I'm such a talented writer it's criminal I don't get money for it. Envy is so painful to me that I'd rather be dead than to live my life in perpetual envy. I unsubscribe to YouTube channels who make me envious. If it bothers you, don't watch. If you don't watch then it won't bother you. It's a tragedy and a mistake that my mother died and I lived. She would have been successful in all ways. I turned out to be unsuccessful. If I could, I would trade my life for my mother's. I wonder if she knows this. Some of my friends of the past died young. I wish I died young like them. Better to be dead than to be a loser. I'd rather be dead than to be a loser.
Anything that's too difficult, I'll give up on it. Including life itself.
"I fucked up my life." Tobias Beecher, Oz

If my life gets worse. I'm going try to score some heroin so I can modify my existence, tweak the algorithm. Don't shoot up in one shot to die. Shoot up every day for two weeks before to build up a tolerance. That way, the last dying fix is less of a shock.

Envy is universal but the objects of envy are not. A man would envy seeing a guy with a few women but he probably wouldn't notice or even see let alone envy a woman or a couple with a baby carriage or else if he did he'd feel the opposite of envy thinking, "I'm glad I dodged the bullet on that one.". Whereas a woman would envy the woman or couple with a baby carriage especially if she is barren. She wouldn't even see the guy with a few women.

I think my future will be grim. I've lost all hope in the future.
"Hope is like the sun. If you only believe in it when you can see it, you'll never make it through the night." STAR WARS
Hope is what people turn to when they want something but have no reasonable expectation of it. Industrialbonecraft, Reddit

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Trump's chances of winning in 2020 is 50/50. Usually the States doesn't want last decades baggage and historically, incumbent sitting Presidents haven't won elections in years ending in 0. I could be wrong. President Donald Trump's is the other Teflon Don. He's surviving his Presidency despite, well, watch the News.
Trump will never be impeached. There are safeguards. Like Nixon, he can resign before being impeached. Then some brief court process that was actually depicted in the movie, The Falcon and the Snowman, and then Gerald Ford granted him a Presidential Pardon. Probably the next President would pardon Trump. That's if it ever came to that. Which I doubt it will despite the Saturday Night Live skit, 'The Trumps' What if Donald Trump was black?.
Nixon's VP Spiro Agnew resigned a year earlier. Gerald Ford was Acting VP. After Richard Nixon resigned, Gerald Ford was President.


Reporter: Are you using this (firing Jeff Sessions and then hiring Matthew Whittaker to replace him) to reign in Mueller?
Trump: That was a stupid question. I watch your show and you ask a lot of stupid questions.
On CNN they defended the reporter Abby Philip and said that it was not a stupid question.



Sunday, December 16, 2018. As of now, President Trump, according to the internet is under 12 investigations. The internet even said his father is under investigation and his father is dead! This is according to 'Almost Every Part of Trump's Life Is Now Under Investigation' beta.ctvnew.ca I don't remember President Obama being under this many investigations. Even President Clinton had relatively few investigations. There was the affairs he had with women and there was the Whitewater shady real estate investigation. But that's not on the level of Russians having allegedly hacked the election!
At the President George Bush funeral, the body language was strange. And I'm a fine one to talk about body language! Anyways, the other Presidents looked comfortable, assured in their power, as they sat back, reposed. President Trump slumped forward, hands folded in his lap like he was a child that had just been chided. But he was sitting next to 3 ex-Presidents. I'd be nervous too!!! And President Clinton, he gave President Trump a look that he rarely gives but when he does, watch out! I first knew about that look on an A&E Biography. The TV show said that President Clinton sometimes gets mad and gives a certain look. A dangerous expression on his face. Hillary didn't even look at him.
These investigations might have something to do with that look President Clinton gave him. President Trump is full of surprises and he might just survive this yet. I hope that he does well as much as I hope that anyone does well. I am somewhat worried about him.



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Survivors of Indian Day Schools. It's sort of like the drug world. Most people try drugs when they're young. Most move on but some stay so as a result, they're 50 year old drug addicts. Most have been sexually abused when they were at that school. Gay. Most who were abused moved on, they felt that they were abused too much but some stayed as they felt that they weren't abused enough so as a result, even decades since they were last at the school, they actually go and pay money to patronize BDSM dungeons to replicate scenes the all male gangbang scene in the Stephen King novel Needful Things or else scenes involving 5 people like something from the movie The Normal Heart starring Mark Buffalo. Ghastly! I rented that video at the Library. The cover looked innocuous enough. I watched part of the movie but even Julia Roberts couldn't save the movie for me. Not my cup of tea.
I heard of one man's junk is another man's treasure but this is ridiculous.
The Library loans out a lot of softcore porn, thankfully for me, the vast majority of it is heterosexual. So much so I often ask myself, Was I just at the Library or at Red Hot Video? I'm confused here.
"Red Rose tea, only in Canada, pity." Indian Day Schools. Residential schools. Only in Canada. You sure don't hear about Indian Day Schools in England.
What about Donald Trump? Did he go to Presidential school?
In any case, all who went to the school and who were abused will line up for the money and try to seek a renumeration or a stipend for their individual and collective experiences at the school, even the BDSM dungeon goers who in that case would say, "You didnt say that you'd only pay us money only if we didn't like it." In this case, ironically, the money going to pay for more visits to exclusively LGBTQ BDSM dungeons.
And this doesn't explain the people who were never abused when they were young but as an adult, they go out of their way to pay money for various forms of abuse at BDSM dungeons such as the Ritual Chamber in Toronto or Rules-Rascal's Club in Vancouver.
On the planet, BDSM dungeons form the basis of a multi-billion dollar a year industry.
Like with all things in life, on one end of the scale there are those who wouldn't see it even if they were paid while on the other end of the scale, there are those who would actually pay money to see it. A paying demographic.
Besides, the News often tells stories that in the old days, you had to go to the Village or Fire Island to hear a story like that. Or else, tell that story to Deadpool, he'd like to hear that story. A week ago, the News threw up another story that Deadpool might like about a teen who was 'attacked' in cell from 5 prisoners during a Scared Straight program at the closed Oakalla Prison. He was very traumatized. I would have suggested why not end life and thus avoid the trauma? That's what I would have done for sure if something like that happened to me. Wouldn't you? The News then said he got a $175,000 legal settlement. If he ended his life, he wouldn't have gotten the settlement.
News, stop telling such stories! Just stop it!
This just words, left brain. To someone who doesn't speak English, this is just meaningless text. Thankfully the News didn't also include pictures, images which would be right brain.

"I was on a roll, and then I had to knock that turd out." Dennis Miller



Actually, some of the best people are gay.


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Intrusive thoughts. Unwanted thoughts. There's a store. I love them. But for some goddamned reason, whenever I think of them, I think of them as Flinstones. Industrial grunge - Flintstones. The industrial grunge nature of the hard to open elaborate packaging. Just like when I see Sigourney We I involuntarily think the word Muldoon. So much so you might one day find me at the Mental Hospital, Room 247 'Muldoon'. Anyways, the other day, as I left the store I saw a truck driver past, going from right to left. The truck had Flintstone's stencil painted on the side. I then wondered about the store.😐 People who work there know about this, as if saying, "We're telepathic. We work to rule. We know you think the word Flinstones whenever you think of us so we hired a truck and told the trucking company, "We know he that he thinks the word Flinstone's when he thinks of us. So next time he comes in, wait til he leaves. Then as he's walking out, drive the truck past him, right in front of him."" Nah!



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Kevin Hart got kicked off of hosting the Oscars because of tweets made 10 years ago. He got purged by the Marxist Left because he wasn't far enough left. Everybody has said something at one time. In Thailand if you do something wrong, as long as it's not serious it's forgotten about the next morning. In Cambodia if you do something wrong, you're a bad person forever. Kevin Hart might think of moving to a different, and arguably better country. Any group that would have me as a member I don't want to join as Groucho Marx once said. If a country would kick him off the Oscars for some tweets he made years ago, is that a country he'd want to stay in? Move to Europe. In a lot of ways, Europe is better than North America. First World problems. Not hosting the Oscars isn't a problem most people typically worry about. It's worries about money for groceries. What can you say about the Oscars? First of all, they didn't give best picture for STAR WARS in 1977. Annie Hall won the award that year. Then they give best picture award to pretentious art-house flicks like On Golden Pond, Chariots of Fire, Traffic, and Life Is Beautiful. Bizarre. Then to top it all off they queer their own deal with their #OscarSoWhite Oscars by giving the pederasty movie Spotlight best picture. An error in judgement?
"Makes them feel more powerful which in turn makes them feel more comfortable, which in turn makes them prone to massive errors in judgement." Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past
So... STAR WARS doesn't get the award for best picture but Spotlight does. Ha ha ha! What bunch of stupid fucking crackers!
I myself have tweeted a lot of things that some not might but pretty much would deem offensive. Yeah, me and millions of others. I would say that it could ruin my career except that I don't have a career of any kind to begin with.
I guess The Dick Twang Band wouldn't be doing any numbers during the Oscars as their career is based on producing material that some might find intensely and profoundly offensive and on an industrial scale. Their most famous song is Lysol Rap.
Ha ha, it's fucking ironic that they're banning someone from hosting the Oscars for past offensive tweets. That's rich when you consider who they have as their President; The King of Tweets. ie Adam Schiff, Adam Schitt. etc etc
"Rex Tillerson didnt have the mental capacity needed. He was dumb as a rock and I couldn't get rid of him fast enough. He was lazy as hell." President Trump, Twitter
That's OK, but Kevin Hart is not. Oscar assholes splitting hairs as usual. Hollywood as a collective is like a lot of people as individuals, "When I'm crazy, that's OK. When you're crazy, that's not OK." Sanctimonious assholes.
However, Los Angeles is a beautiful town. LA is a good town if you don't spend your life worrying about the wrong things all the time.
However, if I had a choice between moving to England or moving to Hollywood, I would choose England every time.
Actually I read Kevin Hart's old tweets. There's a lot of them on Google images. I couldn't stop laughing. They're quite funny. I could see how the Oscars could take offense at that. But hey, they're the Oscars. Remember Eddie Murphy's Delirious and Raw? He's funny like Eddie Murphy.

I never watched an Academy Awards in its entirety even once, ever. Too boring. If they didn't give STAR WARS the award for best picture, I don't see how I could take them seriously at all.
Not giving STAR WARS the Academy Award is like Bill Maher's story about how the ironically named Brown University turned down a speaking on stage appearance from President Obama because "they felt he hadn't achieved enough in life". In their case they probably meant melanin-wise. Instead they give the award to someone who got it on with his teenaged stepdaughter. They sure fumbled that one. And were not talking about an individual whose decisions affect relatively few people. We're talking about a collective whose decisions affect millions of lives.


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"And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar and say, "Man what are you doing here?"
Jerkwater backwater towns are nowhere. They try to bring you down to their level. When Stanley Kubrick was in America when he told people he was doing a movie they looked angry or disappointed lie they wanted him to fail. He said when he went to England and told people he was doing a movie, they were happy for him and wanted him to succeed. If I had a chance to I would like to be spirited away to England. I'll never come back.

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I recommend the song: It Should Have Been You. Gwen Guthrie